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Old 2012-02-26, 07:53   Link #24021
demino_hellsin
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Forum guy: 'sup?

Yachi: Just passing by

...

Yachiyo passing by...

Yachiyo = passing-by fanfic writer?

ONORE DIKEIDO!
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Old 2012-02-26, 07:55   Link #24022
Eratas123
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The fact that she knows who Natasha is implies she knows important people. Also, she can apparently cause windows to break or bones to crack just by being mad enough. She's also more.....unhinged compared to her canon counterpart. Just look at the scene I posted before.
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Old 2012-02-26, 07:59   Link #24023
ZeroXSEED
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Well, it's up to you anyway. Which scene is that again? White Knight?
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Old 2012-02-26, 08:01   Link #24024
Eratas123
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I don't exactly want it to be "up to me". it's not my fic, so I need advice.
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Old 2012-02-26, 08:08   Link #24025
ZeroXSEED
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My advice: unless Chifuyu is calmer and wiser than Canon, forget it.

Important example: She DID became head of I.S.A. in Sacred Twins, by that time though she's no less than 32 years old, mellowed and wizened by age, experience, and constant peace.
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Old 2012-02-26, 08:12   Link #24026
Yachiyo
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Join Date: Sep 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
Forum guy: 'sup?

Yachi: Just passing by

...

Yachiyo passing by...

Yachiyo = passing-by fanfic writer?

ONORE DIKEIDO!
I don't get what 'ya mean here
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Old 2012-02-26, 08:13   Link #24027
Eratas123
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Senpai - Please don't act like it's my fault As I've made clear, I'm only fixing scenes to make it more believeable.

First example: Kanzashi called Ichika and Chifuyu "Angel and Devil" respectively. It could be excused when she was 10, but I had to do some editing when she still called them that at 15.

Second example: Ichika added way too many religious sentiments in his monologues. A non-believer wouldn't be using things like Satan and Jesus so casually in his monologue.

Honestly, I'm just trying to fix what I can. The trench coat thing was one of the first.
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Old 2012-02-26, 08:23   Link #24028
ZeroXSEED
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Nope, it's my fault for not answering your request. I am trully ashamed.

As for the subsequent stuff you should fix, fist by having Chifuyu at the least affable in public. Thus she earn the respect she should have to be qualified as one, second, make her competent in her job. Bunny ears lawyer isn't uncommon, but making the concept work is hard (even I doubt I can pull that).
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Old 2012-02-26, 08:27   Link #24029
Eratas123
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She's not a unny ears lawyer as far as I see. She's competent and strict, but not unreasonable like the Chifuyu in the Feminism doujins. The problem seems to be the running gag where people seem to choke just by being near her and her all powerful aura. I can see that going well:

Chairman: Ah, Ms Orimura, it's such a pleasure to mee- HELP! HELP, I CAN'T BREATH!
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Old 2012-02-26, 08:30   Link #24030
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..... I give up.

That requires Rule of Funny and MST3K mantra to work, I rarely use both
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Old 2012-02-26, 08:31   Link #24031
demino_hellsin
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Chifuyu has a very militaristic mindset, truth be told. She knows how politics works around the IS and in some cases may even know things about the IS even the best IS engineers, short of Tabane, do not know.

She would definitely work well with being the head of ISA since she knows how to handle a crowd and how to take command of a situation. Her skills in politics aren't too bad either. The only problem with her is her short temper. She doesn't have much in the way of patience before she loses it and decides to retaliate radically or physically. Pick your poison really.
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Old 2012-02-26, 08:34   Link #24032
Eratas123
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Ichika's also way more of a badass here. He finished most of his IS related subjects in one year as opposed to three. This is why he's a "junior teacher".
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Old 2012-02-26, 08:43   Link #24033
ZeroXSEED
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Har-har-har.

(Interesting that seems like each author trying to one up what popping out before )
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Old 2012-02-26, 08:47   Link #24034
Eratas123
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To be fair, he was molested by his AI when he was 10, so he's probably not the most well balanced character. Ichika Orimura - One of the only people you can make into a sue or completely different character, and no one would complain.
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Old 2012-02-26, 08:53   Link #24035
ZeroXSEED
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Ichika Chapter 1: What the hell is Recoil?

Ichika Chapter 4: Ammo velocity be damned, I calculate a delay between shot.

Ichika Chapter 9: Well you can't exactly prove that genetic makeup has no way in influencing the way of I.S. work when 'nanotechnology' is mentioned.

Ichika Chapter ??: Inertia Canceller? Impenetrable defense? Quantum Physic bitches!

So yeah. Nobody is complaining
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Old 2012-02-26, 08:57   Link #24036
Eratas123
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Cause Ichika's so blank:/ Other than his capability to handle an IS, you could rename him "Harem Protagonist 20031" without any major differences. Anyway, does Tabane seem like the Big Bad to you or not? Some say yes, and some say no.
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Old 2012-02-26, 09:01   Link #24037
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Potentially a bid bad (of the "Behind the (wo)man" type) but as of now, a chaotic neutral.
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Old 2012-02-26, 09:03   Link #24038
Eratas123
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So who's more evil? PT has evil goals, but they follow the whole "No Casualties" rule. Tabane launched hundreds of missiles in a populated Japan full of innocent people just because of her twisted desires.
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Old 2012-02-26, 09:09   Link #24039
ZeroXSEED
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If you talk about how evil, PT still one, Tabane is way, way more dangerous just to exist. Because simply she has no desire to harm, but neither sense of preservation (you exist or not I don't give a damn). The world is about comparison of good and evil, Tabane threatened both.
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Old 2012-02-26, 09:11   Link #24040
Eratas123
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Do you think she'd be surprised if she gets attacked by anyone? Sorry, I'm back to my stories again By the way, this isn't Shadow. I've put that on Hiatus till my writing style improves.
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