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Old 2011-10-10, 05:34   Link #2561
wavehawk
O GALILEO LET ME GO
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Wavehawk- How come your drafts are so detailed? Even if you make them in a short amount of time they still feel like they're part of a full chapter.
- ...because I'm crazy?

Seriously, it's because I think through the whole sequence. I've tried doing bullet points for stories before, it doesn't work for me--I'm better if I have a quick idea and write it up immediately. Eventually I write it into a story...and sometimes I don't.

I also tend to be more prolific with writing fics and other material when I'm under stress...

Also, try writing up 1200-word essays in 1 hour in class...or 18-page technical drafts on new programs in 3 hours. That'll speed up your think to write time....
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Old 2011-10-10, 05:39   Link #2562
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Wavehawk- How come your drafts are so detailed? Even if you make them in a short amount of time they still feel like they're part of a full chapter.
What do you expect from the most experienced writer in this thread??

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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
BTW- Chapter 4 of "What lies in Shadows" is posted. Will be taking a break from that to write "Daydreams of Maidens in Love" Wish me luck
Gonna read it
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Old 2011-10-10, 05:39   Link #2563
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
@ Stratospear

He's innocent, seriously, here's my quoting

Spoiler for Inami:
I really appreciate those inputs, buddy

Point taken for Cecilia, she'll change in Chapter 4 now that she knows the identity of the person who defended the Academy in Chapter 2

In any case, just wanna share a piece of Chapter 4 (might be subject to change that is)
Spoiler for Scene:
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Old 2011-10-10, 05:40   Link #2564
Eratas123
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I'm probably the most inexperienced writer here Hopefully I can improve with time.
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Old 2011-10-10, 05:51   Link #2565
Saint X
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
I'm probably the most inexperienced writer here Hopefully I can improve with time.
at least you're not ignored like someone else here, like the one who posted this reply
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Old 2011-10-10, 05:53   Link #2566
Eratas123
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at least you're not ignored like someone else here, like the one who posted this reply
Hm? What's wrong Saint X?
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Old 2011-10-10, 05:57   Link #2567
wavehawk
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Originally Posted by Saint X View Post
at least you're not ignored like someone else here, like the one who posted this reply
- Uhm, who are you, again?
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Old 2011-10-10, 06:14   Link #2568
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
I'm probably the most inexperienced writer here Hopefully I can improve with time.
Well Athena Bouclier is my first fic ever, so I suppose we're on the same boat for the bolded part.
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Old 2011-10-10, 06:34   Link #2569
MeisterBabylon
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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*takes a looooong drag off the cigar*

Prepare for lots of fanon crack, guys, or GAS MASKS ON!

Quote:
Originally Posted by wavehawk View Post
- okay. Working on it.

Also, 40mm is the standard size of an M203 Grenade. So the revolver-type GL Maya is using isactually normal. A 40mm grenade has a high amount of explosive, but currently the US is trying to change that over to 20mm or 25mm grenades (A leftover from the OICW project). 25mm grenades have less punch but are programmable and are more accurate over range.
Similar to my thinking process: if ammo, production and maintenance was no issue, what is a weapon which combined every single weapon to exist (assault rifle, machine gun, grenade, missile, etc), then upgrade such that its perfect in every way (no recoil, low heat, high power, multi-role, programmable, etc)?

That got me to the Metroid aUtomatic greNade launCHER family of weapons, shortened to just Muncher. The most advanced Gen2 weapon series ever made that allow normal machines to fight some IS, and when used by an IS still give G3s and even poorly-piloted G4s a run for their money. Or should I say, OM NOM NOM.

Of course this still needs some thought before I can produce the Wiki article.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
@Meisterbabylon

How many I.S. Singapore had (in your fanon)? Considering the distribution table, there's about 22 country who own I.S. in the world (21 in the Mondo Grosso Game + Chifuyu of Japan who doesn't listed)
Technically there’s 20 IS, not counting the 5 in 1-2 as those were newly minted. Only 5 are used in Games, so currently the previous 20 have been diverted back to colony work.

1 IS stands out amongst all 20. This is Three Diagram. Brother (its sentience is masculine) of the Vandam Joaquim, it is a huge self-learning computer core slowly growing towards the center of the Moon. Over the last 7 years, it has reached almost 15km in height, has a working force of almost 100 IS pilot Regulators plus another 400+ pilots working in shifts to keep the IS active round the clock. As such, its area of influence spans the entire Cape of Copernicus, its automation spans every aspect of the Metroids’ lives, and its materialization processes used to create and sustain the colonies on the moon.

Because of this, girls are screened annually by the nation to find new pilots in order to man the growing machine. For their child to become a Regulator, or even a Governor, it brings great honor and benefit to the family. Governors also enjoy great clout during and after their term as a Regulator, and Karon intends to use this clout to break into politics and steer her country into a new century.

A Universal Century.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wavehawk View Post
@Meister: Reworked the character. I hope she won't be too much of a headache to write...


I almost called her Saki.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Zero and Meister- First part of the Second Karon x Irish Draft, hopefully it's okay.I'll post the rest when I can.

Spoiler:


There you have it, please read and review Meister and Zero.
Good job there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
Still on my question above, and second question: what's metroid?
A shoutout to Samus.

On a serious note...

The 3 colonies of Singapore on the moon created by Three Diagram each are called Metropolis, and are numbered in order of construction (1 is Three Diagram’s main core, 2 is the industrial/military colony and 3 is the massive residential city). People who live on them call themselves Metroid. It is hard to say that all of them are Singaporeans. In a development that reeks of Tabane's meddling, more than 75% of the Metroid population are permanent residents from all over the world, invited or self-elected to come live on the Moon. Citizens account for the rest. Which is very strange for any country. But this effectively means that being Metroid is more about being Human rather than any one nation, color or religion...

(ie, whee, trippy hippy stuff!!)

The Metroid Spacey (as is the one seen in Irish’s experiencing of Karon’s past) is the fleet of converted spacecraft that ply Earth and the lunar colonies. Their advanced propulsion systems and equipment are known to all countries as it is required in the Alaska Treaty, but they can only be produced using the matter transmutation processes of a sufficiently large IS... like Three Diagram. They can only be refuelled and maintained also by a sufficiently large IS... like Three Diagram.

The Metroid spacenoids and the 3 colonies represent a microcosm of the Dream of Tabane, a spacefaring race of humans interlinked with IS and led by, and eventually become, ISpers.

The next evolution of Humanity finally growing out of her violent adolescence taking her slow footsteps into the stars.

But alas, that dream continues to be threatened by the very forces of that adolescence...

And now, the stage is set for the One Year War.
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Last edited by MeisterBabylon; 2011-10-10 at 06:46.
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Old 2011-10-10, 07:17   Link #2570
Eratas123
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@ Zero and Blitz- Figured I'd actually write something I might use for sure so please read and review it.

Spoiler:
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Old 2011-10-10, 07:24   Link #2571
blitz1/2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Zero and Blitz- Figured I'd actually write something I might use for sure so please read and review it.

Spoiler:
All we're missing is some maniacal laughter and cheers after the last phrase to replicate the old style villains. xD
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Old 2011-10-10, 07:28   Link #2572
Eratas123
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Originally Posted by blitz1/2 View Post
All we're missing is some maniacal laughter and cheers after the last phrase to replicate the old style villains. xD
I don't think I can do that without making the scene too hard to take seriously Though I get the feeling they might want to keep Kyuukai alive for some reason He was the only one who didn't get a negative reaction.

So what do you think? Does it look okay to add and are there any changes you can recommend?
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Old 2011-10-10, 07:38   Link #2573
blitz1/2
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
I don't think I can do that without making the scene too hard to take seriously Though I get the feeling they might want to keep Kyuukai alive for some reason He was the only one who didn't get a negative reaction.

So what do you think? Does it look okay to add and are there any changes you can recommend?
Maybe add more about the base's "atmosphere", knowing Madoka she's pretty much pissed at everything lol.
Next, maybe you can describe some mechanics/engineers maintaining some ISes in the background, in preparation for their offensive.
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Old 2011-10-10, 07:50   Link #2574
Eratas123
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Originally Posted by blitz1/2 View Post
Maybe add more about the base's "atmosphere", knowing Madoka she's pretty much pissed at everything lol.
Next, maybe you can describe some mechanics/engineers maintaining some ISes in the background, in preparation for their offensive.
Good idea! I can add that in once I write the actual thing, knowing phantom task they're probably using males as slaves to maintain their units with the price of failure being death. They're not gonna do an all-out assault though, they'll target them one by one.

So far this is what I have:

Ichika vs Madoka- Brother and sister fight.

Irish and Tatenashi vs Arachne/Autumn- Teamwork vs multi-melee unit.

Reaper vs Squall- evil vs evil

Kyuukai vs Multiple IS units- Zerg rush to try and overwhelm him.

What do you think? Any changes/suggestions? I'm open to anything.
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Old 2011-10-10, 08:02   Link #2575
blitz1/2
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Good idea! I can add that in once I write the actual thing, knowing phantom task they're probably using males as slaves to maintain their units with the price of failure being death. They're not gonna do an all-out assault though, they'll target them one by one.

So far this is what I have:

Ichika vs Madoka- Brother and sister fight.

Irish and Tatenashi vs Arachne/Autumn- Teamwork vs multi-melee unit.

Reaper vs Squall- evil vs evil

Kyuukai vs Multiple IS units- Zerg rush to try and overwhelm him.

What do you think? Any changes/suggestions? I'm open to anything.
Have Phantom Task take the initiative to scout Ichika, Irish and co. As they start the attack, Squall is ambushed by Reaper, who also challenges her to a duel, and then yea. If you need me to add more angst, feel free to contact me.
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Old 2011-10-10, 08:10   Link #2576
Eratas123
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Originally Posted by blitz1/2 View Post
Have Phantom Task take the initiative to scout Ichika, Irish and co. As they start the attack, Squall is ambushed by Reaper, who also challenges her to a duel, and then yea. If you need me to add more angst, feel free to contact me.
Reaper vs Squall is gonna be pretty fucking hard to write though These two are probably the most overpowered people in the entire story

Irish's part is already full of angst He's fighting against the person who killed his brother so he might start acting irrational during the fight.

Ichika vs Madoka is gonna be like Naruto vs Sasuke Ichika won't try to kill her and will try to get her to stop fighting while Madoka isn't interested.

Kyuukai vs The zerg rush is gonna be pretty easy though No emotions required other than the will to fight and I can't make a personal fight for him since he's not related to phantom task at all.

That's all I got so far, tell me what you think.
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Old 2011-10-10, 09:43   Link #2577
MeisterBabylon
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Oooooh I'm tingly with inspiration. I've gone over the stuff for Risielle, then realized that there was another character in her I'm going to make.

R****** Loh Shiyi. Stage name: Riz Lo. Singaporeans will puke at her name. Otakus will puke at her being voiced by Kugyu.

I think you guys get the rest of the picture.
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Old 2011-10-10, 12:27   Link #2578
falcolobo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Reaper vs Squall is gonna be pretty fucking hard to write though These two are probably the most overpowered people in the entire story

Irish's part is already full of angst He's fighting against the person who killed his brother so he might start acting irrational during the fight.

Ichika vs Madoka is gonna be like Naruto vs Sasuke Ichika won't try to kill her and will try to get her to stop fighting while Madoka isn't interested.

Kyuukai vs The zerg rush is gonna be pretty easy though No emotions required other than the will to fight and I can't make a personal fight for him since he's not related to phantom task at all.

That's all I got so far, tell me what you think.
Yay! Ichika's getting his hands dirty!
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Old 2011-10-10, 14:48   Link #2579
agetreme
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Delusion world
Venting my Ideas.....
Main idea plus Plot?:

"My radiance will outshine the stars and become brighter than the Sun!"

A mysterious new girl transferred into ISA wielding a unregistered core(hence one of the reason for the title of Forbidden).

Her name is Kai/Kaila Pyxis Nebula (I did mention Female Pyxis didn't I?)
Her history is kind of horrifying. When she is born, her mother smashed her with a hammer and drop her into the sea, found by her father who medically treated her and gave her a name, Kai. Pyxis rename her Kaila because Kai sounded like a guy's name.

Her middle name is same as Pyxis because they are name after the same star (might change it to avoid confusion though).

Appearance: Two colored hair to give her a mysterious unnatural feel and of course: Scarf of Ass-kicking.

Personality wise, Kaila is energetic/geki girl with a personality of a young child. Of course being an energetic girl, she came with one problem: she is a big eater. She is the reason why Pyxis is poor most of the time.

She get along well with Yuu because they are both kind of full of energy(for Yuu case, it is more of Hot-blood than Geki).

Kaila exhibit super human ability from time to time and always address everybody (including Ichika) as Onee-sama.

In term of her piloting skill, decent at the best but she can perform rapid switch very easily. Although her IS is weaker than Uchigane but has hidden ability.


Related to the story:
Spoiler for Black Dragon knight:



Additional ideas:
Modifying the male OC pilot.....

"Ichika, trump Card should always be used at the very end."

He is intended to be Ichika's foil, being a foil, he is the read-the-manual-kind of person and appear better than Ichika, because he read and memorized the instruction manual. He prefer to read up first to understand the concept and apply it practically rather than learning it on the spot.

Rather than a Technician, he is more of a performer on the field (hence the quote above). As a performer, he has many hidden tricks up his sleeve, only to reveal them to entertain the crowd with a sudden table-turn on his opponent.


His past is normal, no crazy weird stuff(which many OC here are kind of guilty of). A former delinquent who drop out from school, he get stuck with low-end jobs that people give little respect to.

Less idealistic than Ichika, now that he finally obtain the respect and wealth, he is not willing to give them up (does help by the fact that he is currently supporting his family....he need the money). Because of his street-fighting background, he is a more competent fighter than Ichika but still less than those who are military trained.

His IS unit is Black Mirage. IS that boast the Ultimate Defense (contrasting Ichika's Offense).

The machine generate a variation of AIC that not only can stop Byakushiki's attack in its track but also attack it through the use of the nanomachine to slowly grind through Byakushiki's energy shield however, doing so(defending and attacking simultaneously will drain the Black IS's shield energy rapidly, leading to this situation:

When the White Unit Clashes with the Black Unit, the one with the less energy will lose.

More details on the machine will be added later so you can give me suggestion on how to balance out the machine.

Still need to work on his nationality though....

------

For Fun stuff:
Spoiler for IF IS is a fighting game.....:
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Old 2011-10-10, 15:04   Link #2580
blitz1/2
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@Zero: sent chapter 10 to you.

@agetreme: That absolute defense makes it very overpowered, in that we are sure that Byaku Shiki is almost if not always, VERY low in power, even burning it is quicker in Setsura.

Appear better than ichika, wait what? You have to be very careful, because now it's setting off Stu alarms. For example, while we have all these male OC pilots, there has to be a reason, of why your male OC could pilot an IS?
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