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Old 2011-10-17, 20:33   Link #3261
StratoSpear
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Join Date: Feb 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post

@ Stratospear

Spoiler for Explanation of my review:
Cool

I'll try and work on it! PM me if you have more details as to how I can improve

Yeah, Inami might've sounded arrongant. But he knows that they were worn out by almost being beaten by the drone squad in the previous chapter.
In a way, he's trying to repay their efforts this time round, telling them to hang back while he does the work.


Then again, most of the canon characters are stubborn anyways, so they'll pretty much head off to help him. (Especially Cecilia)
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Old 2011-10-17, 20:35   Link #3262
MeisterBabylon
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Eras, you've just told all the reasons why that should be the case.

It might be confusing for Irish at first, then once we've had enough facepalms she'd eventually sort it out.
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Old 2011-10-17, 20:42   Link #3263
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@Zero - I still don't get how Chifuyu would miss the fact that he had 4 jobs and if she did why she didn't do anything. He mentioned in the novel that she nearly beat him up when he proposed he get a job.
Why else Ichika get four job? Because EVERY. SINGLE. OF THEM is failed (except for the model one, it boost the sales of the clothes for obvious reason, but he only did that once anyway).

Ichika stopped thinking about taking part time job after Chifuyu gave an implication that she was the one tampering his work, and will beat him (and Dan) he's persistent of taking one.

Yes, Chifuyu can play subtle if she wanted.

@ Stratospear

That's pretty much what I wanted to tell, the rest is incredible.
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Old 2011-10-17, 20:53   Link #3264
StratoSpear
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post

@ Stratospear

That's pretty much what I wanted to tell, the rest is incredible.
Modified the part abit, right after Inami boosts towards the drone:

Spoiler for Modified:
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Old 2011-10-17, 20:56   Link #3265
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StratoSpear View Post
Modified the part abit, right after Inami boosts towards the drone:

Spoiler for Modified:
That one is better, they need 7 minutes until they can run.
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Old 2011-10-17, 21:00   Link #3266
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That one is better, they need 7 minutes until they can run.


And Inami doesn't know that, he's reaction is gonna be priceless when he finds out how long it took her to configure the Akatsubaki.
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Old 2011-10-17, 21:02   Link #3267
Eratas123
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@ Zero - Xanatos Gambit by Chifuyu? That seems completely in chatacter for her Beware the power of Guan Yu!

@ Meister - Of course once she sorts it out she'll have to deal with a sexually confused teenage shota:P This leads to the talk with Karon asking her if she's a boy because she's flat chested and Yamada says girls get bigger chests when they grow older.

Paparazzi-san from Canada would probably spread a rumor once she hears Maya describing sex to Irish behind a closed door whixh sounds very innuendo filled.
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Old 2011-10-17, 22:06   Link #3268
MeisterBabylon
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That's fine, I'm just very bad at writing fanservice so can't help there.
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Old 2011-10-17, 22:21   Link #3269
DarkJak2050
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Fanfic spotted!

Infinite Harmonics

An Angel Beats and Infinite Stratos crossover.
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Old 2011-10-17, 22:28   Link #3270
Eratas123
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Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon View Post
That's fine, I'm just very bad at writing fanservice so can't help there.
I suck at writing fanservice along with romance so I'm just doing it for some gags. Though Irish will probably act like a douche again once he regains his memory since he usually doesn't act like Maya is his mom (He calls her by last name, never accepts her help and keeps remarking that she acts like a kid) but that's the joy of writing grimdark along with jerkass protagonists, it allows you to give them a lot of character development.
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Old 2011-10-17, 22:31   Link #3271
blitz1/2
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@Zero: It may take a little awhile since this week and next week are my midterm exams.
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Old 2011-10-17, 23:30   Link #3272
MeisterBabylon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkJak2050 View Post
Fanfic spotted!

Infinite Harmonics

An Angel Beats and Infinite Stratos crossover.
Celeste sneezes.

A super soldier can sneeze...?
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Old 2011-10-17, 23:35   Link #3273
Eratas123
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Join Date: Sep 2011
List for people who'll be in "Daydreams of Maidens in Love"

Houki

Cecilia

Rin

Ran

Charlotte

Laura

Tatenashi

Kanzashi

Madoka (Zero's version)

Bonus Chapter: Ushio Nohotoke going on a date with Dan Gotonda, not a daydream.

Anybody have any additions?
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Old 2011-10-18, 00:19   Link #3274
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz1/2 View Post
@Zero: It may take a little awhile since this week and next week are my midterm exams.
Take your time pal, I already went straight to the draft

(yep, i'm emulating Eratas' method, having as much draft as possible)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Bonus Chapter: Ushio Nohotoke going on a date with Dan Gotanda, not a daydream.
THIS MUST HAPPENS!!! also, fixed.

Suggestion: Chifuyu daydream, when she's drunk.
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Old 2011-10-18, 00:21   Link #3275
Eratas123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
Take your time pal, I already went straight to the draft

(yep, i'm emulating Eratas' method, having as much draft as possible)



THIS MUST HAPPENS!!! also, fixed.

Suggestion: Chifuyu daydream, when she's drunk.
Chifuyu it is then! How about Maya?
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Old 2011-10-18, 00:24   Link #3276
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Chifuyu it is then! How about Maya?
Why not? but yoru workload must be increased then .
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Old 2011-10-18, 00:27   Link #3277
Eratas123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
Why not? but yoru workload must be increased then .
These are only about a thousand words each anyway so it's not that big a deal.
I'm even tempted to put in OC's like Karon and <Ren> but I don't think I'd get away with it Think I should put one for Karon and Irish here?
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Old 2011-10-18, 00:29   Link #3278
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
These are only about a thousand words each anyway so it's not that big a deal.
I'm even tempted to put in OC's like Karon and <Ren> but I don't think I'd get away with it Think I should put one for Karon and Irish here?
WHy not, as long as you didn't post it in FF.net because it's very spoileriffic, I don't think meister will mind.
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Old 2011-10-18, 00:30   Link #3279
MeisterBabylon
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You can't spoil a person who plans ahead of time.
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Old 2011-10-18, 00:34   Link #3280
Eratas123
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Karon x Irish will be posted then! In true Jerkass fashion it'll start with Irish attacking Karon AGAIN before getting his ass handed to him on a silver platter.
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