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Old 2012-07-19, 22:39   Link #34321
ZeroXSEED
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Spoiler for Lolwut:


Poor little Houki I think I make Ichika a little too badass... which makes things even worse.
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Old 2012-07-19, 22:44   Link #34322
Eratas123
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What's the main story again?
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Old 2012-07-19, 22:48   Link #34323
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Once again, Character X and Y fight for Z reason.

Of course, in this case Z = Plot and character relationship. It's not until Lala's arrival I go for low intensity school life and relative non-violent harem antics.

Each character has their own personal plot related to other character (Houki-Ichika and Houki-Rin for example, or Tatenashi-Kanzashi and Tatenashi-Saki), though as harem hero, Ichika and Rito has quite a lot compared to others. That way I can incite character development without worrying about spotlight.
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Old 2012-07-19, 22:51   Link #34324
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So....how does it end? it sounds like slice of life.

Side note - Oh great, now I'm adding background dealings and Machiavellian schemes in Synchronicity:/ I can never keep a one track mind when it comes to pure romance.
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Old 2012-07-19, 23:02   Link #34325
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Yes, it's mostly slice of life, which is precisely what I aimed. In spite of messed up childhood, relationship torn apart, frequent bloody war, alien related crime, and every single WTFBBQ thing happened in universe, there's always peace and happiness if you don't give up struggling.It's the idealistic message conveyed through grimdark back-story covered with romance comedy.

You hafta learn some restraint. Sometimes I felt like "It shouldn't be like this! Too sweet! Boring!" when writing, then I remember what's my first intention when writing it.
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Old 2012-07-19, 23:23   Link #34326
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So it's going to be from 1st to 3rd year?

But....the plot! The plot that was ignored when Charlotte became a haremette! Ichika's smack dab deep into the Dunoa family business and deals with both "children". It's like saying no when a person gives you a console and 50 games for free with no catch at all. You don't do that.
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Old 2012-07-19, 23:28   Link #34327
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No, I don't plan too far, maybe only about one year in universe.

.... since I'm still not keen with Momo and Nana of course...

I know, but once again you have to make up your mind. If you want it pure romance, then make it as pure as you can. If you want intricate plot, do not hesitate.

In fact, Charles' business campaign against Dunois is one of the plot in my mind ("A vengeful bastard child couldn't be that dangerous, right? RIGHT?!"). We are talking about slightly perverted pretty boy with sister complex here.
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Old 2012-07-19, 23:32   Link #34328
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Why not? Just say they're the same age as Rin. The latter's about the same size as her in chest depart- Oh God, don't kill me!

Side note - The entire ISA seems to be populated by people with one track minds.
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Old 2012-07-19, 23:44   Link #34329
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I dunno, I just flat out dislike them. Not as in "JUST YOU DIE ALREADY" and then putting them into unnecessary bashing. I'm completely disinterested with them and lack the urge to use them, at all.

It's not like To-Love-Ru has shortage of people anyway, even before the twins is introduced. I might use Mea and her boss though.

What do you mean with that?
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Old 2012-07-19, 23:49   Link #34330
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....Why? No seriously, you don't "just hate" something. It's like Natsuru saying "I just like her".

Side note - Their single-minded pursuit of Ichika borders on the bizzare. One of the girls even said "I curse my ancestors for giving me a name that made me number 12!". Wow.....little overreaction to not being giving a boost up to an IS.
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Old 2012-07-19, 23:58   Link #34331
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Haha, really, I don't always use my common sense you know.

If I really have to put this, their overall character doesn't interest me. Every time I write them, I just feel it's not really right and finally, restrict to cameo or something. Which I do, and finally settled with it.

More like rule of funny, I know. Then again, harem logic.
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Old 2012-07-20, 00:04   Link #34332
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So...you have no problem writing Risa/Pervert girl or Rin, but you're having trouble writing Momo and Nana, who are near identical?

Side note - There's only so much rule of funny can change before it gets overboard. Hence said not-that-dark draft I sent you.
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Old 2012-07-20, 01:08   Link #34333
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Exactly, hence I said common sense won't apply.

I understand what you mean, but every writer has their limitation. Besides, I don't think Yuzuru wanted to make it too realistic.

The narrative and stuff obviously catering to shonen fight and pure harem fantasy, but he doesn't take his 'serious' and 'mundane' background into account and the result was fridge-inducing stuff like student repeatedly trying to murder each other for stupid reason, to reverse Cinderella event involving genuine sword and firearms.
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Old 2012-07-20, 01:15   Link #34334
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Hell, there's an easy way out of it: Just say that even an inactive IS emits a shield. But no, Ichika acts like every hit is fatal.
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Old 2012-07-20, 01:28   Link #34335
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He might not actually knew, but as I said, it could hit unprotected bystander for all we knew (refer to your draft and Rin's usual shtick)
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Old 2012-07-20, 01:30   Link #34336
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Yeah, they got really lucky during V4. How in the hell they managed not to hit anyone in a crowded waterpark is beyond me.
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Old 2012-07-20, 01:43   Link #34337
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OC universe fanfic will serve as supplement mind-screw to the Rewrite. Due to some references to the Rewrite.... and the rewrite reference somethings in return:

For example:

A joke about Nemo being a Captain....
Rewrite: There is a Captain by the name of Nemo.
They both don't like to be called Captain Nemo.

Rewrite-verse: "Cecilia's" "secret" technique is called Bolt from the Blue.
OC-verse: Cecilia's new technique is named the same but varies in execution.

===
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Old 2012-07-20, 02:48   Link #34338
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Where the hell's StratoSpear?

I got something to ask him...
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Old 2012-07-20, 02:54   Link #34339
ZeroXSEED
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You sound like you want to kill him

Just PM him, to be sure
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Old 2012-07-20, 03:25   Link #34340
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No, it's just that I want to ask him something about the Minerva.
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