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Old 2012-09-08, 07:35   Link #36601
ZeroXSEED
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It doesn't always have to be chocolate, it could be flower or any present you think appropriate.
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Old 2012-09-08, 07:47   Link #36602
Eratas123
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What if it was something like multiple fangirls dumping chocolate on ichika? Would he have to give one to them all.
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Old 2012-09-08, 07:53   Link #36603
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His fault not refusing them. Besides, if they just dump it on him without saying it clearly, he might not even remember and it'll be THEIR fault for not getting reply.
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Old 2012-09-08, 08:01   Link #36604
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Alright, thanks I'll make another draft tom, but I'm turning in early for tonight.

See you tomorrow
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Old 2012-09-08, 08:39   Link #36605
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If it comes to lime then...

Quote:
Lips trailed across her collarbone, stopping to flick his tongue on the junction where her neck and collarbone connected.

He resumed to leave a trail of kisses up her smooth, creamy neck, moving upwards to the bottom of her jaw, and finally stopping at her earlobe where he gave a little nibble earning a small gasp emit from her pink lips – a nice indication that he was doing something right.

Pale golden spiraling strands tickled him as he continue to please her, he felt her body shiver, and her fingers entangled themselves in his silvery white locks. She whimpered softly as she impatiently placed her lips on his, melding their bodies together in the process.

He unconsciously began to move his hips slowly, erotically, in a circular fashion that brushed his manhood against her femininity through the thin fabric of his boxers and her silk nightgown.

Every stroke gave more fuel to their passionate kissing, and soon, he compelled her to lie on her back, pinning her arms down. He resumed kissing her, sucking on her bottom lip and delving in her mouth with his tongue.

Deeper…deeper… he wanted more. She wanted more. She wrapped her right leg around his left and brought her hips to grind against him, once again.

He lifted one hand, as he leaned on the other arm, and dragged it along the length of her lifted leg, closer to the area of her delicious warmth, shakily…
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Old 2012-09-08, 08:58   Link #36606
demino_hellsin
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I think people really like cake eater. Like the 3rd or fourth review to request a continuation already O.o
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Old 2012-09-08, 08:59   Link #36607
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Obviously, also, why did you delete the new story
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Old 2012-09-08, 09:02   Link #36608
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I didn't delete it. I think the site had an error on it. It has a review but I only read the review through my e-mail. The site keeps saying that the story was 'lost' or something.
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Old 2012-09-08, 09:04   Link #36609
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I don't think it has dangerous elements in it, so it's purely the fault of system.
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Old 2012-09-08, 09:19   Link #36610
ValiantX3
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Baka, Nii-nii no ecchi.

TAKE THIS.

Quote:
They sat as silently as they could, with her straddling his hips. She felt his lips change direction and was slightly disappointed when he ended up on her earlobe. Every touch was an exciting sensation on her skin, but her body demanded more, and she brought him closer with her fevered kiss. It was overly pleasurable, to say the least, and she moaned in his mouth, giving him more motivation to continue.

Once she felt his hips move against hers, she bucked against him in response and kissed him with even more passion with him returning every kiss with equal force.

They both knew what they wanted, and what they wanted was to dive into oblivion. He gently put more weight against her to have her lie on her back, and she easily complied. He flawlessly caught her lips in his, once again, and licked the bottom of her lip after sucking on it. He dared to insert his tongue in her mouth to try to quell the burning he felt in his chest.

But it wasn't enough…

So, she resumed the action from before as she wrapped her leg around his and pushed forcefully against him. She heard him growl softly in response and slightly smiled between their exchange of kisses. He shifted his weight to one arm and allowed his fingers to run down the length of her raised leg, closer to that intoxicating heat that was growing between her legs…

"Conquer me, Len-san"

"Your wish, my honor"
yay goodness, hope no underage reader get stranded in this thread, are you sure you're keeping TLR Stratos with T rating?
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Old 2012-09-08, 09:22   Link #36611
demino_hellsin
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Can you imagine your fic characters playing tanto cuore?

Yeah, I think it is the system. Think I should reload it or something?
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Old 2012-09-08, 09:22   Link #36612
ZeroXSEED
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@ 3
What the hell?! After all this time you absent, you came with perverted post continuing mine?!

@ Demi
Probably.

Yeah, try to repost it.
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Old 2012-09-08, 09:32   Link #36613
ValiantX3
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Heee~

At least I don't whine about writing quality and whatnot, you're good when you're putting effort in it. Look at your own draft, Baka.

Stop writing new draft and let's fix the earlier chapter, grammar can go to heck, amirite~? When in doubt, make it purple
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Old 2012-09-08, 09:54   Link #36614
demino_hellsin
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Actually grammar does matter but that will grow as you continue to write. I used to not care about grammar and punctuation... but that's just painful to the eyes. But you'll eventually fix it on your own. And if anything passes then the editor can fix it.

EDIT: BTW I actually played Tanto Cuore. At first I didn't really get it and was disinterested due to the art. But as the game progressed and you realize that there are various strategies and how heavily each move counts, it becomes more than just a card game to show off moe maids. Though sadly you have to play it to actually appreciate it. But there are probably a lot more similar but serious themed card games that give off the same effect. I just reckoned that it'd be funny for hardened soldiers to enjoy the game XD

Last edited by demino_hellsin; 2012-09-08 at 10:09.
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Old 2012-09-08, 10:07   Link #36615
ZeroXSEED
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Not good and popular enough to warrant attention, I have repeatedly announced it, nobody replied. After all, I need a co-writer than a Beta. I can't always rely on Eras.
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Old 2012-09-08, 10:22   Link #36616
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Sad to say I've only ever relied on myself... huh...
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Old 2012-09-08, 10:35   Link #36617
ZeroXSEED
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Well, you're qualified to write it alone, eras, hawk, Jak, stratospear too, meanwhile, I didn't.
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Old 2012-09-08, 10:40   Link #36618
demino_hellsin
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I myself don't think it's a matter of qualification. Just passion. My problem was pointed out to me by the single review on "loss" by the person with many aliases. Too artistic he said. It's a consequence of the way I've been refining my writing since forever. comparing to more famous fics and personal favorites then try to assimilate similar style. As time passes you'll evemtually feel what works and what doesn't.

Also, try shakespeare
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Old 2012-09-08, 10:50   Link #36619
ZeroXSEED
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Ah, extremely hard to find untranslated English literature here, much less classic work like that.

I guess I'll try to visit the free e-novel site Tri recommended.
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Old 2012-09-08, 10:59   Link #36620
demino_hellsin
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I wanna try writing cake eater again. Dinner scene just won't come to me though. How would you imagine Yamada coming into contact with Chifuyu? Try to make it as "out there" as possible.

EDIT: Now that I think about it. Everyone wonders how Yamada ended up in the Orimura house since she doesn't seem the forward type to meet-up with Chifuyu as friends. Then they each start recounting how they met Chifuyu and it entails very very embarrassing stories Chifuyu would rather not remember. But at the end of it all, Yamada's story turns out to be extremely normal that it's a letdown.

:-?

Last edited by demino_hellsin; 2012-09-08 at 11:09.
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