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Old 2011-10-22, 07:55   Link #3841
Masuzu
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Like hell, daydreams is probably in my top 5 fics for the Infinite Stratos section.
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Old 2011-10-22, 08:05   Link #3842
StratoSpear
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Quote:
Originally Posted by agetreme View Post
@StratoSpear: the joke tournament is large than a squad.....
I was more referring to the fight with the two Uchiganes which took place in Inami's Day 1 scene of SWC.

But yeah, towards the end, he joins the fray against Cecilia and Rin alongside Ichika.

He'll most likely have a chance to hold out since he's paired together with an IS.

But if Inami were to face Rin and Cecilia alone, then his chances are slim.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Karin system? it's been a while since I read Athena Boucelier so I'll need a reminder

Could you read my latest post for SWC? I feel like it's not very good

In Chapter 5, Inami acquires the Karin system alongside the Vanguard unit. While the Vanguard unit is briefly introduced as an integrated weapons booster pack, a somewhat vague description was given about the Karin system.

From Chapter 5:
Quote:
"As for the Karin… Think of it as the Minerva's version of an IS' One-Off Ability…" - Jinrai's explanation about the Karin system
As for the latest post on SWC, you mean Irish's? I find that one great

While I do not know much about Irish, the chase scene involving him and Tatenashi is pretty much allright. Though I was hoping he didn't have to sit through the train ride with ripped clothes.
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Old 2011-10-22, 08:14   Link #3843
Eratas123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StratoSpear View Post
I was more referring to the fight with the two Uchiganes which took place in Inami's Day 1 scene of SWC.

But yeah, towards the end, he joins the fray against Cecilia and Rin alongside Ichika.

He'll most likely have a chance to hold out since he's paired together with an IS.

But if Inami were to face Rin and Cecilia alone, then his chances are slim.




In Chapter 5, Inami acquires the Karin system alongside the Vanguard unit. While the Vanguard unit is briefly introduced as an integrated weapons booster pack, a somewhat vague description was given about the Karin system.

From Chapter 5:


As for the latest post on SWC, you mean Irish's? I find that one great

While I do not know much about Irish, the chase scene involving him and Tatenashi is pretty much allright. Though I was hoping he didn't have to sit through the train ride with ripped clothes.


One off ability? That sounds interesting. Hopefully it's unique.

As for Irish getting ripped clothes, it's Inami's fault He told Tatenashi where he was hiding.

@ Detective - Thanks, Its an experiment to improve my romantic writing so I hope it's working.

Side note - To any body who's read Daydreams, here's a part of Ran's chapter, please tell me if it's okay or not.

Spoiler:
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Old 2011-10-22, 08:31   Link #3844
Masuzu
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Btw, I'd really like to hear your
comments on the draft I posted
a page back.
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Old 2011-10-22, 08:36   Link #3845
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Why do you need it anyway? If it's for your fic then you can just make it up, we don't exactly know how much money goes to the army there considering the IS beats most infantry units by a mile.
I was taking combined arms in to consideration, you don;t expect mere 10 I.S. is enough to form an army for German don't you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by StratoSpear View Post
Still contemplating, hence the puzzling

Here's part of the conversation the characters had in the early parts of Chapter 6:
Spoiler for scene:

^ So Tabane is not the one made gospel Berserk?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Meister and Zero - Okay, here's Irish's. Read and review.

Side note - He'll be less of a prick in this chapter, it's because he tends to get along well enough with Tatenashi later.

Spoiler:


Writers block is annoying.
Writers Block is indeed annoying, but it's sadder if you CAN write tencically, but real life issues is interfering your usual schedule.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yachiyo View Post
My sequel, no, Part 2 of Where have you been? Chapter 1 is done! I'll just need to clean some errors of it before I publish it. It's kinda short and not as good as what you will expect since I really suck it prologues.
Hmm, i've always been waiting for this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
I'm sure it'll be fine All of us here are trying to get better in our writing

Side note - Do you have any suggestions for Charlottes daydream? I'm afraid I'm not very romantic
^ As Box said, LIES! ALL LIES!

I mean that your story is shonen-like, doesn't mean it';s bad. in fact, that made it better since men isn't into diabetic romance (bar some exception), the fluffyness must be regulated, balanced with fanservice (sexual or non sexual) and humor.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Detective-san View Post
Like hell, daydreams is probably in my top 5 fics for the Infinite Stratos section.
Agreed.
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Old 2011-10-22, 08:42   Link #3846
Eratas123
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@ Zero - So is the SWC chapter okay? I need all the reviews and help i can get.

I also posted a part of Ran's draft, I'd appreciate your opinion as well.
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Old 2011-10-22, 08:48   Link #3847
Yachiyo
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I'm off! +10 chars
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Old 2011-10-22, 08:48   Link #3848
ZeroXSEED
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^ Like Box said, it was top notch. The romance is almost on par with Yachi's fic, she's better because, well, she knew how young girls think and feel unlike us men, and girls are notably more romantic just because they are.

However, you ahve this advantage of inserting 'men' jokes that work with the medium, Yachi's jokes are much subtler, hers are drawing faint smiles than giant laughter like yours.

(in the end it's up to the readers to decide which one is better)

The Ran Draft is good, but pelase fix the names, it's Gotanda, not Gotonda (many people made this mistake, in fact)
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Old 2011-10-22, 08:53   Link #3849
Eratas123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
^ Like Box said, it was top notch. The romance is almost on par with Yachi's fic, she's better because, well, she knew how young girls think and feel unlike us men, and girls are notably more romantic just because they are.

However, you ahve this advantage of inserting 'men' jokes that work with the medium, Yachi's jokes are much subtler, hers are drawing faint smiles than giant laughter like yours.

(in the end it's up to the readers to decide which one is better)

The Ran Draft is good, but pelase fix the names, it's Gotanda, not Gotonda (many people made this mistake, in fact)
Thanks for the advice I'll change the naming to the proper one later.

Is the SWC chapter for Irish okay so far? If it isn't then I'll have to re-write it. (sorry if I keep asking you, I tend to look for commments so I can improve.)

@ Box - I did post a comment on your draft, or are you referring to zero?
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Old 2011-10-22, 08:58   Link #3850
ZeroXSEED
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^ For my standard, it's enough. If you still want to spice it, then ask Old man.

Also, Box, forget to add but your story is incredibly poetic. You're better at writing bittersweet romance than romance comedy.
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Old 2011-10-22, 09:06   Link #3851
Masuzu
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Hmm, then I guess the last thing to do is
think of a name for the unnamed OC.
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Old 2011-10-22, 09:09   Link #3852
wavehawk
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Can I ask a favor:

Don't call it "Grimdark". Call it either Noir (Film Noir, not the anime) or Cyberpunk (IS being Sci-fi, more Cyberpunk). Grimdark just sounds cheesy and really doesn't fit.

If you still don't get what I mean:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Film_noir
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberpunk

Seriously, for the IS fanfic writer, Cyberpunk is the way to go if you want it interesting and believable.
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Old 2011-10-22, 09:09   Link #3853
Eratas123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
^ For my standard, it's enough. If you still want to spice it, then ask Old man.

Also, Box, forget to add but your story is incredibly poetic. You're better at writing bittersweet romance than romance comedy.
You want me to ask Hawke for advice? The last time I tried that he became OPed

@ Detective - Don't forget the nationality and place of birth has a huge factor in deciding ones name. It's kind of hard to find someone named Timmy Turner in Japan but easy in America.
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Old 2011-10-22, 09:12   Link #3854
MeisterBabylon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
Anyway, anyone having ANY idea how real armed forces works? Especially the logistic and budget. I'm in need of help.
This is a very very BIG question which requires a wiki or two to answer. What exactly are you looking for? Weapons? Doctrines? Rules of Engagement? Weapon allotment? Budget report depends on country, technology and circumstances so need to narrow it down more...

Logistics too...

How large is this army?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
EDIT: I always thought Max is cake eater... and I was right.
Actually, that's just 1 route you can take him down...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Meister

Just some more questions for Max's draft.

1. Does anybody love/ have a crush on him? If there is I'll include her in.

2. Does Browning like him at all or just troll him? I know you said you're just teasing everyone but I have to change it according to this.

3. Doall the teachers get along with him? Particularly Chifuyu and Maya.

Also, I posted first part of Irish's SWC date, please give a review/tips for improvemeny if you can.
1. Actually, no. Each of his possible routes starts either Neutral or Hated with him.

2. Troll, yes, very much. But if Max gets into a typical "harem" situation, Browning does seem to get a tad more violent that her usual violent self... But just a little more violent.

3. Maya and him are more like "friends in the office" level, while Chifuyu doesn't think much of him. So far, I only have her telling Browning to "don't hold back."
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Old 2011-10-22, 09:15   Link #3855
ZeroXSEED
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Except my OC is a male with ambiguous feature and name that can be pronounced both way if written differently...

(Iori Senbei -> Aeolia Schenberg )

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon View Post
This is a very very BIG question which requires a wiki or two to answer. What exactly are you looking for? Weapons? Doctrines? Rules of Engagement? Weapon allotment? Budget report depends on country, technology and circumstances so need to narrow it down more...

Logistics too...

How large is this army?
I was thingking about how much budget spent in weapon development, and how many corporations involved in that work.

I don't ask about specific, sorry.
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Old 2011-10-22, 09:15   Link #3856
Yachiyo
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I think I went back. Don't want to sleep for a while ^_^
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Old 2011-10-22, 09:20   Link #3857
Eratas123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
Except my OC is a male with ambiguous feature and name that can be pronounced both way if written differently...

(Iori Senbei -> Aeolia Schenberg )
My OC doesn't even have a proper name It's actually symbolic. Irish could be anyone really. His looks are due to the skull suit, his fighting style based on experience and even his attitude was taken from somewhere else.

Essentially. Even if it wasn't "Yuriko" who got screwed over and it was somebody else then there would still be someone named "Irish" if the events still happened to someone else.

This is the reasoning I'm using for the film noir fic which has "Irish" and <Ren> in it. He's not the same one from the drafts as evident by his psychotic attitude.
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Old 2011-10-22, 09:25   Link #3858
Masuzu
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Since I'm an Evangelion fan, how about I just call him Adam.
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Old 2011-10-22, 09:29   Link #3859
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*warps in*

*drops something small from Development*

Spoiler for Snapshot from the Future:


And also, i now know what OP i should use for my still in planning IS fic-ish thing.

Spoiler for From this Season of Shows:


cookies for those that guess the sources too

*warps out*
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Old 2011-10-22, 09:29   Link #3860
ZeroXSEED
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^ Above post seems like something came out from Cthulhu mythos...

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Since I'm an Evangelion fan, how about I just call him Adam.
Talk about symbolism.
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