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Old 2013-05-04, 10:36   Link #42641
ZeroXSEED
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@ Senpai - A bit too young, aren't they? Barely into their teens to be making that kind of statement.
Youngster, Eras, sometimes they don't exactly knew what they're talking

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Really? It feels stiff to me.
More or less because it's not the kind of story you like the most, and worse if it's things you don't like

I am hardly a good writer, but my fanservice scene and harem gag is especially terrible.

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A submissive anti-hero.....doesn't sound good.
Rule of Cute. Likewise, Rule of Funny.

Two words: Fanon Accelerator
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Old 2013-05-04, 10:43   Link #42642
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Just a thot, if this is the original model of IS Merlion, Karon is justified to not bring it along since its compact form isn't very compact.


Putting Ange and Karen in the same room would cause a singularity to form.
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Old 2013-05-04, 10:46   Link #42643
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I need that poster/image thing where everyone is 'properly scaled' as in 160 cm Ichika and Laura that looks 10, if anyone knew please help.

Imagethread obscured by overboard character worship
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Old 2013-05-04, 10:49   Link #42644
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@ Demi - Depends on the type of story, really. If its a serious one then a lot of exposition is expected. It helps to mix exposition with story.

@ Senpai - Still can't help but think any romance will end in tragedy.....especially since idols have to remain 'pure'.

I hate action scenes as well. Any tips to make it 'flow' better?

....What the heck is rule of cute? Also, Fanon Accelerator doesn't seem to be that different from Canon Accelerator, judging by the fanfics. There was that one Shouta Accelerator fic when he was de-aged, but he turned right back to normal

@ Meistah - That and you normally don't bring an IS when you go skiing Why does an all girl Idol idol band in possession of IS, again?
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Old 2013-05-04, 11:00   Link #42645
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@ Senpai - Still can't help but think any romance will end in tragedy.....especially since idols have to remain 'pure'.
Agreed

TLR Stratos supposed to portray it that way with Lun as well.

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I hate action scenes as well. Any tips to make it 'flow' better?
Considering you're better at writing mano-o-mano, I can't say anything worth

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....What the heck is rule of cute?
Anything that induce warm and funny feeling... things you don't like in your writing

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Also, Fanon Accelerator doesn't seem to be that different from Canon Accelerator, judging by the fanfics. There was that one Shouta Accelerator fic when he was de-aged, but he turned right back to normal
BEHOLD TYPICAL FANON ACCELERATOR

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Old 2013-05-04, 11:10   Link #42646
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@ Senpai - Lun is an exception: She's a frigging alien That and she cares more about romance than her idolship; just look at To LOVE-RU with her unabashed chasing of Rito.

That and Irish is still technically a criminal. Is it really possible to work off your sentence and not have to go to jail?

I make talking chapters, not action chapters. You have me beat in that regard.

Agreed. Future Imperfect actually becomes a chore to write because of this.

He still looks pissed in 2/3 photos Its only the middle one that he's uncharacteristically calm and blushing.
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Old 2013-05-04, 11:18   Link #42647
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@ Senpai - Lun is an exception: She's a frigging alien That and she cares more about romance than her idolship; just look at To LOVE-RU with her unabashed chasing of Rito.
TLR Stratos is supposed to be a deconstruction.

Until until Ichika become alarmingly close to typical gary stu in all but name.

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That and Irish is still technically a criminal. Is it really possible to work off your sentence and not have to go to jail?
Remember he's also mostly underage, social services DO exist when plot is talking.

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I make talking chapters, not action chapters. You have me beat in that regard.
Not really I think, since Blitz do a lot of rehaul on my works, credit goes to him.

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Agreed. Future Imperfect actually becomes a chore to write because of this.
I can understand, many of my stories which hit indefinite hiatus (as in, I haven't write anything about it) is because stuff just doesn't feel right.

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He still looks pissed in 2/3 photos Its only the middle one that he's uncharacteristically calm and blushing.
This

Submissive =/= ultra shy

In other fanworks I don't show, he's usually sneering or glaring, while WORST basically cockteasing him nonstop (he's more pissed than aroused, but still can't do anything to get rid of her)

God forbid I say this... but it's also uke stereotype
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Old 2013-05-04, 11:28   Link #42648
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To be fair, most Shonen Heroes have traits of the Gary Stu.

Souldn't he be considered liable for his crimes considering the severity of them? Kidnapping a National Rep is a pretty big deal.

Need to step up writing Reversal. Would Chifuyu be friends or rivals with Tatenashi if they eere the same age?

Accelerator swears a lot of the time:heh)
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Old 2013-05-04, 11:50   Link #42649
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To be fair, most Shonen Heroes have traits of the Gary Stu.
And yet they have personal plot that however ridiculous, still feel fine. I mean:

> Deserter, traitor, war hero.
> Millionaire chessmaster with revenge agenda.
> Exiled Prince disgruntled with the world.

And yet I feel Ichika's own is less than proper, despite his being mundane, like... oh say, taking out yakuza hideout.

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Souldn't he be considered liable for his crimes considering the severity of them? Kidnapping a National Rep is a pretty big deal.
Maybe yes, maybe no. If you use Canon rules... well... no, it's typical 'easy forgiveness' scenario.

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Need to step up writing Reversal. Would Chifuyu be friends or rivals with Tatenashi if they eere the same age?
Maybe yes maybe no, depending on you play it up, Tate could be conventional foil, or hilarious unknown rival.
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Old 2013-05-04, 11:59   Link #42650
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That's it? Sempai, I wouldn't be surprised if the Light Novels stated that Tatenashi dismantled a Yakuza family and not just a base. Ichika disabling one base is hardly critical to a Yakuza Family.

Are child terrorists and soldiers in real life given a slap on the wrist and then set free?

What if thye were both students and she was ham-fisted into joinging the student douncil?
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Old 2013-05-04, 12:01   Link #42651
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Agreed

TLR Stratos supposed to portray it that way with Lun as well.



Considering you're better at writing mano-o-mano, I can't say anything worth



Anything that induce warm and funny feeling... things you don't like in your writing



BEHOLD TYPICAL FANON ACCELERATOR



NOOO! Fanon Accelerator is Suzushina Yuriko!!!
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Old 2013-05-04, 12:03   Link #42652
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That's it? Sempai, I wouldn't be surprised if the Light Novels stated that Tatenashi dismantled a Yakuza family and not just a base. Ichika disabling one base is hardly critical to a Yakuza Family.
He did it by himself, in a clear, bright day. He also left message on youtube.

So yeah, somehow a 14 year old running away from Nazi special forces and singlehandedly turned the war is a lot more proper.

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Are child terrorists and soldiers in real life given a slap on the wrist and then set free?
Usually they got educated, rehabilitation and all that jazz.

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What if thye were both students and she was ham-fisted into joinging the student douncil?
Lol at this, must happen
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Old 2013-05-04, 12:10   Link #42653
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And Tatenashi beat Autumn at her full strength in the middle of a festival while Laura and Cecilia combined barely caught her. That's fine by me. Lets not forget that Chifuyu deflected those missiles while she was still 14 Badassitude runs in the Orimura line.

Up to what age does this apply?

So rivals or friends if it did happen?

@ Blitz - Yeah, shame she's not canon
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Old 2013-05-04, 12:28   Link #42654
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And Tatenashi beat Autumn at her full strength in the middle of a festival while Laura and Cecilia combined barely caught her. That's fine by me. Lets not forget that Chifuyu deflected those missiles while she was still 14 Badassitude runs in the Orimura line.
The problem is... not quite what I want really

Maybe I just fail in conception stage, seriously, Charles has more material than him.

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Up to what age does this apply?
In Japan, up to high school.

EDIT; I meant, problem kids, not child soldier in general.

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So rivals or friends if it did happen?
Maybe...
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Old 2013-05-04, 12:39   Link #42655
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Why not try expanding first?

So 18 years old?

So rivals or friends, which is it?

Goin to sleep now.
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Old 2013-05-04, 12:55   Link #42656
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Spoiler for redefinition of ISRI:


The only problem now is determining how this rank system works and how each benefit differs. :/

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Old 2013-05-04, 18:13   Link #42657
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These Idols use the IS as a stage gimmick, to get transforming costumes, flying right above the audience, the Sheryl Nome maneuvers, and space opera stuff.
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Old 2013-05-04, 19:02   Link #42658
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For some reason I get impulse like transformation sequence stuck in my brain. But whole dresses are changed instead of just the back unit. Really disturbing.
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Old 2013-05-04, 19:39   Link #42659
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The packs are there, just cloaked from view. The costume changes are optic camo projections. All weapons cannot fire from cloak limiting use in combat.

The Vandam has a Skeletal Battle Order mode which is just a core attached to a pilot suit. The rest can be attached using impulse style remote launching. Later this design is incorporated into the other idol's units.
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Old 2013-05-04, 19:45   Link #42660
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So it's all vaporwear and all they have on is a skintight suit?
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