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Old 2013-05-15, 05:59   Link #43281
Eratas123
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Usually, when one snarks during an apology scene, they get called an asshole for it. In Dark Future, when Saito was asked to explain his behavior, he snarked that they made a mistake in his wearing a mask rather than a hoodie. His twin threatened to beat his face in.
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:02   Link #43282
Tempest35
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Two Orimuras are stronger than one. XD

And wouldn't Ichika know how to bandage her up? ... then again, it's not like he carries a medpak wherever he goes... So no bandaging her up in her office scene. It can be done as is, but you'll have to allow enough 'cool down time' from when the twins spaz over injuring her and when they are helping bandaging her up. Honestly, I do see Chifuyu blushing slightly with both Madoka and Ichika fussing over her - she knows she better just let them do it than trying to fight them at this point, so she allows it. Or it doesn't have to make her bite her lip, it could be some other kind of injury, like a reverse headbutt to Chifuyu's nose or something...*shrugs*

...but enough 'elapsed' downtime between twin spaz and 2nd apology session can help - it depends on the way its written at this point.

And where is my 'apology accepted' cake/pie eating Chifuyu scene... *jii~*
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:05   Link #43283
Eratas123
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Bandaging is actually a good time to apologize and explain, if you don't mind me saying In Dark of Zero, I used bandaging twice as a venue when two characters bond over experiences.
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:11   Link #43284
Tempest35
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Well, both Ichika and Madoka can work on bandaging Chifuyu at the same time, causing the elder sister to unwittingly blush at her two younger siblings fussing over her so... d'awww~

"Hey, her face is red."

"Fever?"

"No you idi-"

"*Twin Check~*" Both press their foreheads against Chifuyu's for a temp check.

"...y-you idiots, constantly doing things at your own pace."

"Hee hee."

"Because we love you, 'Oneechan'?"

"...baka..." **Chifuyu looks away, mumbling something incoherently**



Ah, so much cheese, where is the ham to go with this cheese...

EDIT:

Yamada comes into the infirmary, looking for a Band-Aid for a papercut. Sees all three Orimura in the room, with their heads close to each other. 0.0
"O-o-o-Orimura-sensei!?"

"Hey, good tim-"

"I'M SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING!!"

"...eh?"

"Orimura Family Time...even though I also want to join in...the middle..."

**WHAT ARE YOU THINKING NOW, WOMAN!?**
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Last edited by Tempest35; 2013-05-15 at 06:21.
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:11   Link #43285
Eratas123
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Hahahaha
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:12   Link #43286
demino_hellsin
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Basically step 4 is dead end and everything after that will be dictated by said snark. If you remove that you remove the whole thing.

Basically adding in snark is a huge mood shift. or at least keep it a soft jibe. Or a lame one. Not something that goes "Oh no you didn't!"
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:13   Link #43287
ZeroXSEED
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Basically summed up by tempest, the injury is there so everyone stop being stupid. I'd tone down Ichika's reaction though, too OOC even for ST standard. (Thanks to the guideline draft )

Though again, the injury doesn't require anything major, just gentle touch with cotton and antiseptic and some mouth examination. Anyway, doesn't this sounds more intimate?

So yes, Chifuyu's badassery is a new meme, that minor injury is not expected, it's all or nothing business.

(Of course, per ST tradition, the 'blood coffee' sheanigans is deconstructed during rescue arc, and both Orimura collapsed as soon as everyone except the medics left)
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:14   Link #43288
Tempest35
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I think a jibe' about 'dishonest older sisters' would suffice in place of the 'snark'. Or a snarky jibe...its tricky...

EDIT:

Mouth examination? Toothbrush session? *eye gleam*
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:17   Link #43289
ZeroXSEED
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No

*Flashback to niseimonogatari*

not THAT intimate... maybe
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:19   Link #43290
Eratas123
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Agreed: Not THAT intimate. Besides, if it was reality, wouldn't the person injured bleed out or re-open wounds if they tried anything?
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:23   Link #43291
ZeroXSEED
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Okay, (re)writing draft soon!
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:24   Link #43292
Tempest35
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*snickers* just teasing...but nothing to say that Ik-kun and Madoka-chan can't recreated it... as an Omake or something...XD *starts up the sexaphone*

Hah, Madoka would faint right in the middle...T^T

Madoka: N-no I wouldn't!!! *face is RED*
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:27   Link #43293
ZeroXSEED
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That...

Maybe happen back when they're little, whereas Ichika is hotblooded keet and Madoka is extremely shrunken violet

Maybe Houki's nightmare or something
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:28   Link #43294
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In general, I tend to laugh when the heavily bandaged protagonist and whoevers healing them make out or are implied to do the houki pouki. They'd bleed out or tear open the injured person's wounds.
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:30   Link #43295
wavehawk
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
In general, I tend to laugh when the heavily bandaged protagonist and whoevers healing them make out or are implied to do the houki pouki. They'd bleed out or tear open the injured person's wounds.
Ichika: "Gently. Gently---GENTLLLLYYYY~~~!!!"
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:33   Link #43296
Eratas123
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Trust me, it really wouldn't work. I tried to play it straight in a draft, but I ended up making Saito bleed because his wounds were fresh.
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:34   Link #43297
ZeroXSEED
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BWAHAHAHAH

So true, so true.

H-manga is THE worst offender, especially if it's deconstructively parodied (all the realism, but none of the drama)
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:35   Link #43298
Tempest35
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*puts on Marvin Gaye* "I need sexual healing~"

Ichika: "It's not literal!"

Laura: But I want to try it...

Houki: No! It's a very delicate procedure...

Cecilia: Wh-what!? How would you know!?

Houki: I'm part of a shrine, you know...

Charl: So you priestesses really do that sort of thing?

Houki: No! At least, *I* don't...!

Ichika: ... see what you've started...

I confirm nor deny nothing.

~*~

Yamada's little proclamation about the scared 'Orimura Family Time' and the imaginations of young, impressionable perverted highschool girls... Houki can dream of the toothbrush scene after hearing about that...

It would be Ichika's turn that night to be 'taken care of' by his lovely older and twin sisters...

Readers need fan-service too. *thumbs up, nosebleed*

Why am I in such an ero-mood today.... >< ... wait, that's everyday...
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:38   Link #43299
Eratas123
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Then again, to some people, the blood would be a turn-on:/ There's a reason there's a trope called "In love with your weakness".
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Old 2013-05-15, 06:52   Link #43300
ZeroXSEED
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So I guess this night/day reserved for the unmentionables huh?

Anyway, the gospel scene is as follow


Quote:
Houki: "Ichika"

Ichika: *Stares*

Houki: *Get closer but stop midway*

Madoka: "Sheesh" *push Houki*

*CHUUU*

Houki: "NAAANIII?!?!"

Ichika: "Eeeh?"

Madoka: "Now I guess we're even, eh, Houki-chan"

Houki: "You... YOUUUU!!!!"

Madoka: "It's okay, we're comrades right?"

*Cecilia and Lingyin pop*

Lingyin & Cecilia: "Oho, so if it's comrades it should be okay right?" *LEAP*

Ichika: "IYAAAAH!!" *Carry both Houki and Madoka on his shoulder*

Lingyin & Cecilia: "HOW DARE YOU TO RUN AWAY, ICHIKA(-SAN)!!"

Ichika: "NOOO!!"

Houki: "Look at what you did, Madoka!"

Madoka: *kiss Houki*

Houki: "MAAADOKAAAAA..."

Madoka: "Indirect kiss?"

Ichika:

Houki: "GRAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

(Meanwhile, Charles and Laura making out in the background)
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