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Old 2013-05-26, 10:15   Link #44021
ZeroXSEED
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Spoiler for Sacred Twins Ch 1 rewrite - Part 3:
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Old 2013-05-26, 11:14   Link #44022
demino_hellsin
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well that's odd. I think I'm reading too much index because the structure reminds me of an LN.
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Old 2013-05-26, 18:00   Link #44023
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It's supposed to

My usual writing has more dialogue than there are description, this sound more like LN due to very low conversation:exposition ratio.
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Old 2013-05-26, 19:10   Link #44024
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But that only works for LN due to the illustrtions that supplement the little exposition.
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Old 2013-05-26, 19:27   Link #44025
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Lol

Well, better than no exposition and description at all, which, putting grammar aside, is my worst enemy.
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Old 2013-05-27, 20:48   Link #44026
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Hmmm...

-------------

Chifuyu took a deep breath and bravely placed one hand on the door. “We're doing this Yamada. Let's go!”, came the battle cry as she twisted the handle. With a mighty shove, she threw away the five centimeters of solid plastic separating her and-

“Eh?”

Normally, IS don't require much maintenance. And even if they did require a lot, it was relatively long and would mean that it was actually infinitely shorter than regular maintenance. As for setting it accordingly to proper tuning, that shouldn't take long either. So normally, just before launch, everything would be checked out and nobody would be left in the hangar. But why? Why is it that when Chifuyu wrenched open the doors that lead directly into the hangar. There were over twenty technicians working? All of their heads snapping to the door that made such an imposing noise. Even if it were a minority, a good five or so amongst those technicians were men.

It was a stand-off. Even if you called it that, it felt more like an awkward peepshow. Because, lo and behold. In the door accentuated by the bright locker room light behind, was Orimura Chifuyu in a string bikini- IS suit. Either way it was way more revealing than anything they'd seen on her. And the effect of this state of clothing was extremely powerful. It was so powerful that the men in the room nearly fainted while the women were ogling her in a state of embarrassed shock.

“Gah!”, Chifuyu ducked back into the doorway and slammed the passage shut. “Get out! Get out! Get out!”, she screamed at everyone from behind the door.

Now normally, Chifuyu had the power to convince people to do as she says on naught but a single word. Not on a decibel higher than a whisper and tone lower than her even the throatiest growl. But in this case, all was thrown out the window as all everyone could hear was that raspy high-pitched voice that cracked near the end in panic.

“Mo~e”, was what they all thought.
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Old 2013-05-27, 21:08   Link #44027
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Dafuq

The discrepancy between the content and the way it's written is so...

Whatever, it's going to be the new fan favorite.
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Old 2013-05-27, 21:12   Link #44028
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Serious writing style but what the hell content? lol
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Old 2013-05-27, 21:51   Link #44029
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What are you talking about? Swimsuits are serious business!
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Old 2013-05-27, 21:53   Link #44030
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Yep, so is Ichika in a speedo
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Old 2013-05-27, 21:54   Link #44031
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True eras, true

Wonder if people will react well to character derailment. But I'll stay true to this path.
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Old 2013-05-27, 21:56   Link #44032
Eratas123
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Its fine To be fair, Chifuyu doesn't get much of a personality beyond: Serious person who doesn't take shit from anyone.

Also, now I need to see about Laura acting like Charlotte:/ Its even harder than writing Yandere Laura was.
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Old 2013-05-27, 22:00   Link #44033
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Can't imagine it myself
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Old 2013-05-27, 22:38   Link #44034
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"Listen, Tabane-neesan.... as a genius, you often overlook simple things...

Do you know the meaning of the codes written within the seventh row of firmware header, present in pretty much all I.S. frame since White Knight? A code that, should removed, will render frame useless?

[WAS EN YEx CHx A SEE RA CHS FWx HYMMx AL NOS FWAL YOR YOR] - Safety system override, Overshift engage"

- Orimura Ichika
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Old 2013-05-27, 22:42   Link #44035
Tempest35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
Hmmm...

-------------

Chifuyu took a deep breath and bravely placed one hand on the door. “We're doing this Yamada. Let's go!”, came the battle cry as she twisted the handle. With a mighty shove, she threw away the five centimeters of solid plastic separating her and-

“Eh?”

Normally, IS don't require much maintenance. And even if they did require a lot, it was relatively long and would mean that it was actually infinitely shorter than regular maintenance. As for setting it accordingly to proper tuning, that shouldn't take long either. So normally, just before launch, everything would be checked out and nobody would be left in the hangar. But why? Why is it that when Chifuyu wrenched open the doors that lead directly into the hangar. There were over twenty technicians working? All of their heads snapping to the door that made such an imposing noise. Even if it were a minority, a good five or so amongst those technicians were men.

It was a stand-off. Even if you called it that, it felt more like an awkward peepshow. Because, lo and behold. In the door accentuated by the bright locker room light behind, was Orimura Chifuyu in a string bikini- IS suit. Either way it was way more revealing than anything they'd seen on her. And the effect of this state of clothing was extremely powerful. It was so powerful that the men in the room nearly fainted while the women were ogling her in a state of embarrassed shock.

“Gah!”, Chifuyu ducked back into the doorway and slammed the passage shut. “Get out! Get out! Get out!”, she screamed at everyone from behind the door.

Now normally, Chifuyu had the power to convince people to do as she says on naught but a single word. Not on a decibel higher than a whisper and tone lower than her even the throatiest growl. But in this case, all was thrown out the window as all everyone could hear was that raspy high-pitched voice that cracked near the end in panic.

“Mo~e”, was what they all thought.
... Make that 6... :faints:
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Old 2013-05-28, 00:46   Link #44036
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@ Dwmi - I can use that for reversal Teenage Chifuyu is less serious than canon.
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Old 2013-05-28, 01:37   Link #44037
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So she'd willingly wear a string bikini? or she does this voice?
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Old 2013-05-28, 05:36   Link #44038
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@ Demi - No, usually she doesn't.....but if Ichika-sensei asks her to, she says she would consider it Although Laura does try.
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Old 2013-05-29, 01:11   Link #44039
DarkJak2050
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Okay, can someone give me an update on what has happened while I was gone?

Other than IS's 2nd season airing in Fall 2013.
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Old 2013-05-29, 01:41   Link #44040
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Nothing much really

Just the manga reboot and people hotly talking about V8 content
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