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Old 2011-11-10, 05:47   Link #7041
StratoSpear
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Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
It means everyone can't write their latest chapter, you're the only one broke the block this week.
"Well shoot..." - Inami, upon seeing Silver Gospel going through Second Shift.

It's pretty hard trying to keep things in line since I'm still new at this. so yeah, I feel ya.


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Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
I felt like I have to check Madoka's character consistency, she's very inconsistent about her crush in first three chapter and think like a yandere stalker instead of kuudere little sister.

Frankly speaking, I mixed up the times between Chapters quite a lot of times.

The latest one was accidentally setting Chapter 8 in night time when it was already dawn towards the end of Chapter 7.

There's also some inconsistency in Minerva's condition between chapters that I found when I was about to publish them.(there might still be, but I have yet to find any)


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Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
I've read 1/3 of it before getting distracted with new assignment.
Oh, allrighty.

Do drop a note when you're done, that's the first time I wrote out a major ongoing battle among multiple characters.


Now.... how do I start off Chapter 9...


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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Does anybody know what they hoped to accomplish by implanting the VT system on Laura?
I'll pop in my two cents by saying it might be for the same reason the Silver Gospel has an AI system that kicks in when the IS is faced with unfavourable situations... though it wasn't exactly as pilot-friendly as the aforementioned IS.
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Old 2011-11-10, 05:51   Link #7042
Yachiyo
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Does anybody know what they hoped to accomplish by implanting the VT system on Laura?
I'm planning to remove Laura's VT System in 10 years in my fic
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Old 2011-11-10, 05:56   Link #7043
ZeroXSEED
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Does anybody know what they hoped to accomplish by implanting the VT system on Laura?
From what I see, they hope to gave her a last ditch measure, ability to fight without depending on her shield (like Chifuyu does). With German being the most militaristic in terms of using I.S. technology (Followed by USA), the lab hope that it can be used.

Of course, the system is dangerous in more ways than one, it's really unstable, not only dependent on user's willpower but also corrupting their mind.

I'm using this as plot point as well, German political stance is so unstable it's relying on military power to keep things intact. As the result, Military Industry became more powerful than they should be. Thus can get away with something dirty.
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Old 2011-11-10, 05:59   Link #7044
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@ Zero - That's idiotic, Laura's performance suffered when it was implanted on her. It was mentioned in her backstory that she ended up losing a lot of her potential after the implant.
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Old 2011-11-10, 06:05   Link #7045
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Zero - That's idiotic, Laura's performance suffered when it was implanted on her. It was mentioned in her backstory that she ended up losing a lot of her potential after the implant.
Bolded for emphasis,

1. the 'creation of Laura' alone is idiotic and violating human rights
2. and training her from very young age is idiotic because it violates the law of Children protection
3. Much less modifying her since it again violating human rights, and even more idiotic that it's failed.

but as I said, they simply didn't have a choice, the dire need for obedient and strong soldier force them to use shortcut, German is darkest of all gray in my story.

Laura was failed result, and she, by all means became sacrificial lamb, stopping all cloning and super soldier project in the future. But the German's Crisis haven't ended, which is why VT system exist at all.
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Old 2011-11-10, 06:14   Link #7046
Eratas123
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Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
Bolded for emphasis,

1. the 'creation of Laura' alone is idiotic and violating human rights
2. and training her from very young age is idiotic because it violates the law of Children protection
3. Much less modifying her since it again violating human rights, and even more idiotic that it's failed.

but as I said, they simply didn't have a choice, the dire need for obedient and strong soldier force them to use shortcut, German is darkest of all gray in my story.

Laura was failed result, and she, by all means became sacrificial lamb, stopping all cloning and super soldier project in the future. But the German's Crisis haven't ended, which is why VT system exist at all.
I have no right to judge though. Considering my protagonists are:

1. The only male IS pilot who was forcibly enrolled into an all-female academy to avoid being dissected.

2. A teenage soldier who's been in and out of battlefields and does things that should be done by people twice his age.

3. An unstable child terrorist who's been helping destroy IS facilities since he was 8 years old and is using a suit that's killing him.

At least Laura looks like she has a home in the Shwarzer Hase. Just look at how all of them act when Laura calls for advice.
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Old 2011-11-10, 06:24   Link #7047
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You know, this is why I said I.S. has so much potential for exploring more serious issues but it's either Mr Yuzuru:

1. Has not enough strength because his health (the most likely)
2. Chickening out (the least likely, it's a nightmare for me)
2. Forced not to elaborate things deeper too fast (by editor and publisher, Executive Meddling ahoy!)

and he slip them up as foreshadowing instead.
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Old 2011-11-10, 06:28   Link #7048
Eratas123
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@ Zero - Why do you think most of our fics are serious? You can't just say women stilted the balance of power then expect people to shrug it off. Irish was based on a worst case scenario for example.

Good thing Daydreams and Future Imperfect keep me lighthearted.
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Old 2011-11-10, 06:36   Link #7049
HasuMasu
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Wow, I had to read through so much, this is what I get for taking time to go out of the house.

Anyway, to respond to some of your romantic predicaments:

1. It's okay Eratas, if you're sure she has a crush on you, and you have a crush on her, then your situation isn't so sticky.
2. Not exactly on Facebook, but I once confessed to a girl on chat before I decided to give up, a year of dropping hints is kinda...


As for writer's block, I'm just lazy in general.
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Old 2011-11-10, 06:41   Link #7050
Eratas123
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@ Box - I didn't realize she was 3 years older than me. She looks young for her age too

Anyway, still writing daydreams for Laura. Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it.
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Old 2011-11-10, 06:42   Link #7051
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Actually I'm not blocked, I'm just a slow writer...
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Old 2011-11-10, 06:50   Link #7052
ZeroXSEED
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Box - I didn't realize she was 3 years older than me. She looks young for her age too

Anyway, still writing daydreams for Laura. Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it.
Reminds me again my first girlfriend in Junior High was older than me by two years...though we're in the same class, simply because I was younger than everyone.

@ Everyone
Good luck, wish me able to deliver chapter 12 this weekend.
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Old 2011-11-10, 06:54   Link #7053
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@ Zero - Lucky I've never had a girlfriend before

Side note - I'm probably gonna end up rushing the last part of the chapter. I don't want to make it too long.
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Old 2011-11-10, 06:55   Link #7054
Yachiyo
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@Eratas, where's Charu's daydream? :<
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Old 2011-11-10, 06:58   Link #7055
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@ Yachi - I have to revise the plot since the amnesia thing's already been used. Laura was next so I'm writing her chapter first. If I can't think of a unique plot then Tatenashi will come first as well.
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Old 2011-11-10, 07:03   Link #7056
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@ Zero - Lucky I've never had a girlfriend before:
I was skeptic about dating when adults tell me "First Love last forever/ first love is the best" is bullshit, but they're human that can be wrong sometimes. (I've never get a 'proper' girlfriend after that and basically gave up when I enter university).

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Side note - I'm probably gonna end up rushing the last part of the chapter. I don't want to make it too long.
No, just... No...
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Old 2011-11-10, 07:09   Link #7057
Eratas123
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I was skeptic when adults tell me "First Love last forever/ first love is the best" is bullshit, but they're human that can be wrong sometimes. (I've never get a 'proper' girlfriend after that and basically gave up when I enter university).



No, just... No...
It's already near 2000 words and I'm just in the middle. That's not even taking into account the reformatting on fanfiction.net which will make it larger. It would be long enough to be it's own story.
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Old 2011-11-10, 07:11   Link #7058
ZeroXSEED
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It's already near 2000 words and I'm just in the middle. That's not even taking into account the reformatting on fanfiction.net which will make it larger. It would be long enough to be it's own story.
Why not? It's not like you have a deadline or word limit, the most important is you write what you can write at their best and I guarantee that reader will be delighted if you finish it properly.

EDIT:

@Meister, besides arena and open sky, what kind of terrain is best for I.S. to I.S. combat, both challenging and entertaining? I plan to use it in Chapter 12.
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Old 2011-11-10, 07:24   Link #7059
Eratas123
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@ Zero - Won't it seem odd that the other's chapters were 1.5k words while this one reaches 4k? It might look like I was favoring Laura. Anyway, I'll just write as much detail as i can and try not to rush it. Hopefully they'll like this writing style better than the wannabe shoujo one.
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Old 2011-11-10, 07:27   Link #7060
ZeroXSEED
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@ Zero - Won't it seem odd that the other's chapters were 1.5k words while this one reaches 4k? It might look like I was favoring Laura. Anyway, I'll just write as much detail as i can and try not to rush it. Hopefully they'll like this writing style better than the wannabe shoujo one.
The Laura chapter actually sounds gender neutral...I guess because it's more natural and not deliberate? It's good though, both guys and girls can easily get it.

@Meister still my question above, please lessen the crack.
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