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Old 2011-11-11, 03:29   Link #7181
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Zero - Go for subtle. Why would Dan hijack an IS? That makes no sense and it's pretty OOC.
Hijack = literally fall into a broken transport where metal Wolf is 'sleeping', and because Dan is special somewhat (D rank synchronicity) he is somewhat tempted to board it (coupled by the fact that he's panicking at the time).

This is how Ichika literally lost into the Exam place because both he and Madoka is attracted by the I.S., but unlike Dan, the attraction force covers much longer range (because they're born to board I.S.).
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Old 2011-11-11, 03:32   Link #7182
EthernalRain
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@ Eratas: In my fic, it's not the PT base Kyuukai's held in. It's an ancient naval prison somewhere near to Austrailia. I intend to go a bit darker with that chapter when I get to it.

Kyuukai gets an "implant" of sorts in later chapters, but he deals with wearing an eyepatch until then. I want to write about how Kyuukai comprehends the consequences of battle, both physical and emotional.

The implant is simply a fake eye with a camera that's tuned to a small chip set in his brain, allowing him to see. Nothing too complex.

And in the chapters after that:

Spoiler for Spoiler:
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Old 2011-11-11, 03:32   Link #7183
Eratas123
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@Zero and Rain - Next part of Laura's Daydream.

Spoiler:


@ Rain - World war IV is what the protags are trying to prevent in Shadow. Once it happens, they've all lost.

@ Zero - Then go for him entering it but pretty much losing control and crashing into stuff. That make's sense since he's a D rank pilot.
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Old 2011-11-11, 03:42   Link #7184
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@ Eratas: In Heart of the Machine, it happens about 20-30 chapters from my current chapter, and starts when:
Spoiler for Spoiler:
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Old 2011-11-11, 03:46   Link #7185
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@ Rain - That makes sense. Though that seems more like an I.S war than a world war IV. Unless you're telling me that some countries are actually crazy enough to support PT.

The final part of Shadow takes place in different area's. Each protag has a different job to do but if they fail then all is lost.

Side note - In the torture chapter, is Kyuukai by himself?

@ Rain and Zero - Is the daydream okay?
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Old 2011-11-11, 03:50   Link #7186
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@ Eratas: It's going to end up much like the First and Second Conflicts: The Third Conflict (which has been hinted many times) will be between FRACTURE and it's allies, and numerous other factions that support Phantom Task. Factions that oppose each other may still live in the same country. Such as a company and the government, or a milita and a company, or the people and the government, etc. It's going to boil into one big war made up of many smaller civil wars.

Side note: In the torture chapter, Kyuukai's on his own.

Side side note: The daydreams chapter is great!
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Old 2011-11-11, 03:50   Link #7187
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^ Well, not exactly related to his rank, but more of [Metal Wolf] being high speed mech and he's not having enough training to use it.... yet. D-rank is just enough to made real I.S. react, but not enough to move them.

Spoiler for LOLWUT:


Of course Dan is mostly inactive and undergo training most of the time (he's still too young and inexperienced) and will be deployed later in final battle.

The Daydream is good, Laura's reaction is priceless.
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Old 2011-11-11, 03:57   Link #7188
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@ Zero - Autumn's main power lies in her web barrier and her strong attack. Irish and Tatenashi get around it by Tatenashi tanking and Irish smashing the webs since the JK can negate it.

Dan being an I.S pilot has to be taken slowly. He's a minor character in the series so making him take levels in badass too fast will put others off.

@ Rain - "Shadow" ends with either PT winning or losing. Once the war starts it's all over. if they can't prevent it then all their struggles will have been futile and pointless.

I don't want to plunge the story in "Shadow" into open warfare. The theme of the story is letting go and trying to make sure the future is safe. A war breaking out kinda breaks that message.

side note - Is Kyuukai attracted to Tatenashi or something? I've re-read the chapters but he makes it unclear.
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Old 2011-11-11, 04:00   Link #7189
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@ Eratas: Which is why you don't have to. After all, it's your fic, do what you'd like.

The war also has a rather short campaign (8 months), for a reason I shall not declare just yet.
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Old 2011-11-11, 04:03   Link #7190
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Zero - Autumn's main power lies in her web barrier and her strong attack. Irish and Tatenashi get around it by Tatenashi tanking and Irish smashing the webs since the JK can negate it.
I'll read it again to correct my mistakes, then again I don't know if Blitz agree with this or not. Thanks for the effort.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Dan being an I.S pilot has to be taken slowly. He's a minor character in the series so making him take levels in badass too fast will put others off.
As I said he spend most of the time training properly (as in, skill, knowledge, AND discipline, which arguably some of the Personal owner LACKED in canon), and not in I.S. academy either (his fighting capability is arguably worse than Houki with Uchigane inside [Metal Wolf]). He only join in later battles, as in, about a dozen of chapter ahead when he's ready.

This is mostly a prank concept to deconstruct/ troll another I.S. male pilot theme, so there's no reason for Dan and Yoshi for having to much leeway like Ichika or Charles (though both having a crisis of their own).
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Old 2011-11-11, 04:04   Link #7191
MeisterBabylon
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Looks like I wasn't the only one to have the pilot react to an IS.

Spoiler for Vandam I scene:


*runs*
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Old 2011-11-11, 04:06   Link #7192
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@ Rain - I made another question as a side note in my previous post. Can you answer it?

Side note - The reason I'm telling you is because I'm using your character. I don't want to use him if you disagree with the premise since he's your character, not mine.

@ Zero - So he's mostly off-screen then? That makes sense. Who'll be his enemy though? Autumn?

@ Meister - The scene's a bit confusing. is the IS talking to Karon?
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Old 2011-11-11, 04:09   Link #7193
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Zero - So he's mostly off-screen then? That makes sense. Who'll be his enemy though? Autumn?
PT mooks with generic I.S., or Spanish Cadet Representative (Blitz's OC, unlike Louise, she's fully sympathetic) with a Custom Gen-2 / Flawed prototype Gen-3. FoeYay and WarShip ensues.
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Old 2011-11-11, 04:12   Link #7194
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@ Zero - Spanish representative vs Utsuho Nohotoke The fight for Dan Gotanda begins!
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Old 2011-11-11, 04:15   Link #7195
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@ Zero - Spanish representative vs Utsuho Nohotoke The fight for Dan Gotanda begins!
Is Utsuho an Action Girl? She'll spend some time to check [Metal Wolf] as an excuse to meet Dan (One of A.S.D.F. sponsor being Tatenashi's Organization) anyway.

If She is... CAT FI-

@ Meister I though it was Karon 'hearing' the call of I.S.?
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Old 2011-11-11, 04:19   Link #7196
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@ Meister - The scene's a bit confusing. is the IS talking to Karon?
I'll leave the details to when I get to that part. Roughly speaking, Karon was sensing the fear of the IS caused by bangs and crashes of Unknowns trying to break in to the vault that was holding the machine.
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Old 2011-11-11, 04:24   Link #7197
Eratas123
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Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
Is Utsuho an Action Girl? She'll spend some time to check [Metal Wolf] as an excuse to meet Dan (One of A.S.D.F. sponsor being Tatenashi's Organization) anyway.

If She is... CAT FI-

@ Meister I though it was Karon 'hearing' the call of I.S.?
She's a third year in IS academy. If she's lasted that long then I think she has some decent piloting skills.

Where did we even get the idea to ship these two anyway? I'm pretty sure she shows no attraction to him in canon and Dan acts more like a guy with a crush on a pretty girl than a real pairing.

Side note - Laura's chapter is getting way too long!

@ Meister - That was probably Irish trying to get in to destroy the I.S-

*Shot*

Just kidding Who would try to open a vault just for a core? It has to be female or they can't use it.
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Old 2011-11-11, 04:30   Link #7198
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[EU] (pronounced Yuu) is a name given to the agents who keep attacking the Foundation. They are combined arms in force, have both female IS pilots and crack male troops and evidently have access to sizable amounts of resources to be this organized. They caused the Changi Incident, and then attacked the SAFTI Military Institute to steal the Vandam.

Karon's picking up the fear given off by the IS.
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Old 2011-11-11, 04:30   Link #7199
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
She's a third year in IS academy. If she's lasted that long then I think she has some decent piloting skills.
Utsuho: (Boarding an Uchigane) "I show you what experience means for an I.S. Pilot"

Amalia: "Guh"

Dan: "Oh my, thanks for the rescue"

(Note Dan's reaction, normal shonen hero will tell Utsuho to back off because it's personal. But since he has trained with strict, semi-militaristic discipline, he complies with the big damn heroines moment and opted for teamwork)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Where did we even get the idea to ship these two anyway? I'm pretty sure she shows no attraction to him in canon and Dan acts more like a guy with a crush on a pretty girl than a real pairing.
Because it's 'convenient', that's one of the most convincing reason.

Wait, Utsuho show no attraction to Dan?
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Old 2011-11-11, 04:35   Link #7200
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@ Meister - Sounds like PT actually The only difference is they have male troops. Is Karon's reason for being an ISper the same as before?

@ Zero - Not really. She asks Ichika who Dan was but that's about the extent of it. I'm pairing them together in daydreams as a crack pairing that, ironically enough, is the only pair that doesn't get blocked at the end.

Side note - How's Nohohon's/Pikachu-san's personality? I plan to make her have something of an odd friendship with Irish.
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