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Old 2011-11-13, 10:03   Link #7601
ZeroXSEED
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Zero - I'm guessing that male researchers are also treated negatively by their female compatriots?
Inversely, even though it's hard to become one to begin with (since the selection might be biased), once a guy recognized as researcher or engineer, he'll be showered with respect, though his payroll is still smaller than the women

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Side note - Writing a harem is hard because you essentially turn the females into shallow robots. Every human being is unique, I find it hard to believe that they spend their time obsessing over this one guy and act like crazy fangirls when they see him.
Unless you made the girls has their own life outside "Ichika this and Ichika that", this is one of my plan with Sacred Twins, hell, from certain angle, Madoka might be the most shallow member before chapter 10 roll. Even her back-story is Ichika-nii related.
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Old 2011-11-13, 10:05   Link #7602
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@Eratas
Sent Inami's intro to you.

Not sure why but I was typing out the scene along with this music.
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Old 2011-11-13, 10:10   Link #7603
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@ Zero - The biggest problem I have is the IS academy students. They literally do nothing important unless it's about Ichika/whichever guy is on the scene. Seeing students doing something that's nlt related to Ichika would've been nice and showed them as actual human beings. Irish takes note of this when he sees fangirls chasing Ichika and Kyuukai.

The harem is better about this since they have good backstories but they aren't above it either. Literally every time the POV switches to them, they're thinking about Ichika.
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Old 2011-11-13, 10:13   Link #7604
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@ Zero - The biggest problem I have is the IS academy students. They literally do nothing important unless it's about Ichika/whichever guy is on the scene. Seeing students doing something that's nlt related to Ichika would've been nice and showed them as actual human beings. Irish takes note of this when he sees fangirls chasing Ichika and Kyuukai.

The harem is better about this since they have good backstories but they aren't above it either. Literally every time the POV switches to them, they're thinking about Ichika.
Just wait until you see battle between Madoka and Cecilia, with Takatsuki and NOHONHON as their partner. Just wait, even Blitz don't dare to saturate that one with his dark magic.

And I also planned all-girls segment in chapter 12, somewhat lampshaded that they can't spend a minute NOT talking about Ichika, they succeed miraculously.
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Old 2011-11-13, 10:18   Link #7605
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@ Zero - Looking forward to that!

How come Ichika is such a chick magnet compared to other guys? Is it because he can pilot an IS? Kyuukai also seems to get this treatment in HOTM.

Side note - Irish getting admirers is gonna be hard because he never loses the anti-social attitude. Any tips for a junior writer, senpai?

@ Meister - At what age can people start piloting in your fic?

@ Stratos - The second terms starting, not the first term. They already know some of the other students.

Side note - Childhood friends normally call each other's parents mom/dad too.
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Old 2011-11-13, 10:21   Link #7606
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@ Stratos - The second terms starting, not the first term. They already know some of the other students.

Side note - Childhood friends normally call each other's parents mom/dad too.
Noted

I'll leave you to the re-edits then.
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Old 2011-11-13, 10:26   Link #7607
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aFA was mad. I got to hear Kalafina and angela. I r happy.

Youngest is 13, if one is tall enough, and joins the NCC Air club, then passes the ridiculous entrance exam for the flight course. Only 2 ppl have completed this feat. Everyone else starts at 16 if they are keen, and 19 if they sign on to DART.
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Old 2011-11-13, 10:26   Link #7608
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Irish getting 5-10 admirers for entire school (besides the harem of course) not really farfetched, we're talking about an isolated island with 1000+ women here...

So many kink and fetish could be hidden there. The common would be: "bad-boy is cool" type, and the one that is lightly masochist too, also, shotacon. The girls can be shotacon without guilt....

Side note:

The only problem is; most guys can't write about all-girl activity WITHOUT lesbian subtext getting in the way (seriously, just read V4 Ch2), Uugh.

Mine is not exception, even though I avoid deliberate yay, the subtext is still there!

Thankfully I managed to remove the one that seems serious and left or even adding anything that's played for laughs or lampshaded.
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Old 2011-11-13, 10:34   Link #7609
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AFA was mad. I'm definitely landing the St@Rs in AFA21 for the heck of .

youngest is 13, but you have a lot of hoops to jump through. Only 2 have managed this feat. Others enter at 16 via the Youth Flying Club, and the rest at 19 when they enlist.
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Old 2011-11-13, 10:34   Link #7610
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@ Meister - Then how does Karon stop the unknowns from breaking into the vault? Unless she uses the IS, she can't do jack to them.

@ Zero - And how many people would stick arlund after knowing his past? Child terrorist doesn't really scream boyfriend material.

Planning a segment where PT publicly broadcasts some of the males activites/backstory which might alienate them from IS academy and demoralize them further.

Side note - Also asked another question about the guys chick magnet status above the Irish question. Also, mind if I call you senpai? You've been the biggest help to fic writing so far.
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Old 2011-11-13, 10:42   Link #7611
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Well, then I had to start call everyone except you and Box senpai (or sensei for old hawk) cos they're older and more experienced...

That aside, the chick magnet is relative to attraction factor.

Ichika is rare breed (literal) that he posses all the attractive factor without even trying. First I.S. male pilot, Chifuyu's brother, being kind hearted even though he's dense...

Kyuukai gain all those borderline ridiculous attention as side effec of all those shit he pulled in the previous war and after (the recovery)

People like inami will at the least gain 40+ fans, especially for his innocence and cheerful attitude.

So did Maxwell even though ironically his class don't respect him.

Irish making a ruckus with girls from class 1-2 will make him popular with some girls in other class (who call class 1-2 extrimist), and not all people hate terrorist, remember 'your terrorist are our freedom fighters' motto.

Octan... I don't know, it's that the girls around him just too mundfuckingly weird, if they're normal, he would have a harem himself.

Dan, for all his ordinary note, he's Ichika's friend, which open many possibilities.
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Old 2011-11-13, 10:49   Link #7612
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
Well, then I had to start call everyone except you and Box senpai (or sensei for old hawk) cos they're older and more experienced...

That aside, the chick magnet is relative to attraction factor.

Ichika is rare breed (literal) that he posses all the attractive factor without even trying. First I.S. male pilot, Chifuyu's brother, being kind hearted even though he's dense...

Kyuukai gain all those borderline ridiculous attention as side effec of all those shit he pulled in the previous war and after (the recovery)

People like inami will at the least gain 40+ fans, especially for his innocence and cheerful attitude.

So did Maxwell even though ironically his class don't respect him.

Irish making a ruckus with girls from class 1-2 will make him popular with some girls in other class (who call class 1-2 extrimist), and not all people hate terrorist, remember 'your terrorist are our freedom fighters' motto.

Octan... I don't know, it's that the girls around him just too mundfuckingly weird, if they're normal, he would have a harem himself.

Dan, for all his ordinary note, he's Ichika's friend, which open many possibilities.
So basically:

Ichika - Clueless bishonen who attracts girls.

Kyuukai - Experienced male who has something that makes people attracted to him.

Inami - Child like innocence makes girls adore him.

Irish - Terrorist past combined with shota appearance makes him seem vulnerable/fetish fuel.

Maximillian - Oldest male, and technically, the only one considered an adult.

Octans - The generic guy who prefers to stay in the background.

Dan - Average guy who wants to be a chick magnet and attracts older women.

Did I get that right?
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Old 2011-11-13, 10:56   Link #7613
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So basically:

Ichika - Clueless bishonen who attracts psychotic yanderes.

Kyuukai - Experienced male who has manly charisma that makes people attracted to him.

Inami - Child like innocence makes girls adore him.

Irish - Terrorist past combined with shota appearance makes him seem vulnerable/fetish fuel.

Maximillian - Oldest male, and technically, the only one considered an adult.

Octans - The generic guy who prefers to stay in the background. But attract weird chicks around in non-romantic way (?)

Dan - Average guy who wants to be a chick magnet and attracts older women.

Josh - Happy go lucky. laid back guy with psychological issues, pretends to be a lolicon but only attracts badass, matured chicks.

Did I get that right?
Fixed, also, can't we make this part of ISO Standard Chick Magnet? We lacked chessmaster here.... wait, Octan and Max is there.... hmmm...I feel like something is missing....

Oh yes, I'll insert Josh there.

EDIT: going to sleep, exam began tomorrow.
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Old 2011-11-13, 11:02   Link #7614
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@ Zero - It depends on what you mean by Chessmaster. Irish and Maximillian are the best strategists while Ichika can (unknowingly) take advantage of the female populace.

Adding Josh there is perfect, but why do I see him flirting with Irish? Irish still looks effeminate even without any female clothes on. It's just his (fake) low voice that gives it away. He sounds like a deep voiced female without the augmentation he usually does.
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Old 2011-11-13, 11:05   Link #7615
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Karon bearly stops them from making off with the IS after they broke in already. Spcifics i in the fic
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Old 2011-11-13, 11:07   Link #7616
ZeroXSEED
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Adding Josh there is perfect, but why do I see him flirting with Irish? Irish still looks effeminate even without any female clothes on. It's just his (fake) low voice that gives it away. He sounds like a deep voiced female without the augmentation he usually does.
Well Josh will hit Irish, the result are as expected (?)

After the misunderstanding though, their dynamic wouldn't be that different from Ukitake/ Kyoraku and Hitsugaya from Bleach...

See you later.
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Old 2011-11-13, 11:09   Link #7617
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@ Zero - Good night senpai

@ Meister - Now I'm really curious as to how a 9 year old stopped trained operatives I don't know why, but I'm imagining a scene where Karon goes up to them, asks them to leave, then pouts at them till they do it
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Old 2011-11-13, 11:31   Link #7618
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hint: she wouldn't have done it without the help of an awesome old man, and the Vandam I herself. Also, she's 13 then, and completely obsessed with Vandam. She met the first Vandam O when she was 9, the prologue I am writing now is all about how they met.
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Old 2011-11-13, 11:46   Link #7619
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@ Meister - Guess I'll just wait and see Old man? Who are you talking about?
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Old 2011-11-13, 12:02   Link #7620
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you'll find out eventually. He's totally original, have not mentioned him before.
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