Infinite Stratos Character Creation and Fanfiction Discussion

[Yachiyo]

Hello guys, sorry I'm out for a long time, I need help on how to get the next part of this

Spoiler for Everything is Radiant CH 3:

The cave collapsed. Luckily Ichika and the others made it out.

“Whew, I thought I’m gonna be buried alive there” Houki was relieved.

“Anyway, we better get going now, the rift might close before we get in there.” Charlotte
said.

“Right. Let’s----”

*BANG!*

“I told you kids, you ain’t going anywhere” Richelle said.

“Ichika, you guys go now. I’ll handle this.” Aden said.

“What? No, I won’t let that happen.” Ichika insisted.

“WE DON’T HAVE A CHOICE! JUST DO WHAT I SAY!” Aden shouted.

“NO! I’m not leaving you here!” Ichika said.

“Grr…”

Suddenly Laura grabbed Aden.

“What?” Aden asked.

“We’re moving out.” She replied.

“We gotta go! Let’s MOVE!” Houki shouted and blasted off.

“Let’s go!” Laura said and launched off with Aden.

“Get back here!” Sybelle shouted and followed them.

(2 Hours Left , In the middle of the woods)

“2 hours left before the rift closes! We’re still 500 miles away, we gotta move faster!” Aden
said.

*BANG**BANG**BANG*

“Ugh!” Laura evades the bullets fired.

“Laura!” Aden called.

“Don’t worry about me, I can move.” She replied.

“Let’s move.” Aden said and grabbed her off.”

(1 hour left)

“100 miles left, we’re nearly there!” Aden said.

“You can’t escape from us!” Richelle said.

“You think so?” Ichika asked as he charged and casted Lightning Slash.

“GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” Richelle fell down.

“One down, two to go.” Ichika said.

“Wow…” Charlotte said.

“Let’s move.” Ichika said and took off.

What'cha think? Sorry if it's a little sucky.

[Eratas123]

I just realized how much of a badass that dog is. So far, he's fought: Serial killers, Mad Bombers, Psychopaths, Creatures such as Giant spiders and snakes, zombies, spirits, monsters, and Eustace Bagg. Hell, give him 30 minutes with an I.S and he'd probably find some way to win in the end.

[demino_hellsin]

he does it for LOVE!

[wavehawk]

@Yachiyo: It lacks feeling. I think that you;re trying to express urgency, but it comes across a too scant and more like a script that was put together. Maybe try to flesh out the situation and give it either more depth or more punch, whichever way works for you.

[Yachiyo]

Originally Posted by wavehawk

@Yachiyo: It lacks feeling. I think that you;re trying to express urgency, but it comes across a too scant and more like a script that was put together. Maybe try to flesh out the situation and give it either more depth or more punch, whichever way works for you.

Alright, thanks for the advice!

[Eratas123]

@ Yachi - Try to put more desperation or emphasis on the narration. Something like "Laura barely dodged the oncoming bullet before she hit the ground with a sickening crack" rather than "Laura dodged the bullet"

[wavehawk]

Laura dropped to her knees, barely dodging a shot meant for her head.

would be a bit better.

[Eratas123]

@ Hawke - Just giving an example, nothing in the narration made it seem like she got injured, I just made it up to give an example.

@ demino_hellsin - Not sure how to describe Fillia really. You're better off asking Zero and Blitz, they know more and can give better advice.

EDIT: Who's chapter should I do next after Laura's? It's either Tatenashi or Charlotte.

[wavehawk]

Tatenashi. That way you get practice before you tackle Charu's stpory.

[Eratas123]

@ Hawke - Favoritism much? I'm not going to get any better in writing no matter who I do first, the thing I need is a plot! These two already have stories focusing on them and I don't want to copy any of the previous stories, that's why I skipped doing Charlotte in the first place.

[MeisterBabylon]

Originally Posted by Eratas123

@ Meister - So who's POV is the prologue now? Also, how come all the characters are in Singapore? Shouldn't they be in their home countries?

In a sense, I'm paring it down to just Karon, Riz and Gin, plus some Root, Marvelous, Enchek and Prof. And a lot more mystery. Though with this the Falling Into The Cockpit trope is going to get overused...

And that's because all of the characters are in Singapore. Vandam II is about the Singapore Representative Candidate Exam after all.

And no, all 3 fail the test. Otherwise they wouldn't be in Shooting St@r.

[wavehawk]

Tip Eratas? Listen to some music. You might pick up a few ideas.
Charu: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYAtDdQnAuw

"Tell me, where is the shepardess for this lost lamb...?"

[Eratas123]

@ Meister - So Erika and Celeste are out? That's kinda sad. But why would the st@rs recruit pilots who failed? Wouldn't they pick pilots who passed?

@ Hawke - I am listening to music, take this song for example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpcEVKNqveo

It's the no-lyrics version but I'm hoping it helps me for Charlotte. Tatenashi on the other hand.....I don't think I can find a song that fits her.

[wavehawk]

Lyrics help. sometimes the lyrics will give you ideas for conversations or descriptions. That's why I often tap enlgih songs as well when writing, because the lyrics sometimes trigger ideas for what I need to write--you notice I post a lot of YT links to english songs, right?

I find no-lyrics music or music whose language I don't understand are good for feleing, but for conversations and descriptiveness, sometimes listening to western music is best---and generally music of musicians, not that damn rap crap.

[MeisterBabylon]

Originally Posted by Eratas123

@ Meister - So Erika and Celeste are out? That's kinda sad. But why would the st@rs recruit pilots who failed? Wouldn't they pick pilots who passed?

They are in, but they are in their own movies. Erika in Mjolnir and Celeste in The Black Rabbit. Oh and Angelina Stark in Firemoth. These fics cover their origins then lead in to how they join Shooting St@r.

And they all fail because in spite of all their talent they cannot follow orders. If they did, there'd be no fic to write.

[Eratas123]

@ Hawke - How's this then? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKin5...eature=related

Also, can you find a song that fits Tatenashi? I don't think I'll be able to find one that matches her......unique character.

@ Meister - They get their own fics then, sounds reasonable enough

Can't follow orders? Oddly enough, that actually makes sense Their personalities seem more like the "Do or Die" attitudes present in movies.

[wavehawk]

Tatenashi, it would be hard. Since I've onyl read her description from the LN, I would think something sassy and rambunctuous...like Billy Joel's music:

"Only the Good Die Young" - more the boy than the girl being playful, but well...maybe Tatenashi has a dream wherein she's the pure and ideal girl hoping for a fox of a guy to take her away...?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhjNm20XbXw

"Uptown Girl"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCuMWrfXG4E

I still don't think the Charu amnesia thing would work, but how about if she leaves and tries to convince Ichika she doesn't love him--then it's revealed the onyl reason she does it is to protect Ichika from being attacked by her family? Then this song would be pretty appropriate:
"Against All Odds" (One of my favorites)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuvtoyVi7vY

[Eratas123]

@ Hawke - You just gave me a possible plot! Thank you Hawke-sama!

Tatenashi dreaming she's a pure and innocent girl? There's a higher chance of me eating my shoe before that happens.

Uptown girl oddly fits though, seems to describe the possible romance between Ichika and her.

Side note - Last one, do you know any songs that fit someone who's lost everything they have? All I have is My Immortal and listening to more might help me write Shadow.

Thank you for all the help!

[wavehawk]

Originally Posted by Eratas123

@ Hawke - You just gave me a possible plot! Thank you Hawke-sama!

- Two hints: Listen to the song, and check the Wiki about the movie--it's one of my favorite old-school Noir-ish movies of the 80's which reflects the song as well. Your challenge will be trying to describe how Charu feels, that she's treatign Ichika one way but her real feelings are another--and how she feels when Ichika sees through her pretenses...

...someone who's lost everything? I can think of a few, but I'll have to think it through. The song I recommended (Against All Odds) works as well...

"Take a look at me now...there's just an empty space..."

[Hasumi]

Well, if Tatenashi wants a wild fox of a man to sweep her off her feet...