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Old 2011-11-30, 18:24   Link #10581
ZeroXSEED
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Stratos - I'll read it later

@ Senpai - Just don't make it too angsty and dark. Everyone appreciates some serious issues here and there, but no one wants to read a light hearted/serious story jumping the shark and injecting everyone with the GD virus.

Still, I'm most interested in how you'll turn them into a nakama. In the novel, the girls are nice enough to each other and even offer to do favors for each other (Charlotte cheers up Cecilia, Rin offers to cook sweet dumplings for her when she wanted low fat desserts etc etc)
As early as chapter 6, notice that Madoka canceled the long range combat training to give Rin a private time with Ichika, but Cecilia said that it's really a waste of time and said if Madoka didn't wanted to do it then Cecilia will.

This trigger a confrontation between them, but Ichika halted them and scold them both. Both of them realize their mistakes and apologize, afterwards, Madoka actually let Ichika train with Cecilia privately where Houki tutored her advanced kendo techniques.

(In Canon, this is simply impossible to happens, and Ichika is too weak-willed and lazy to interfere the quarrel)

One chapter before that, Houki actually taught Cecilia basic of Kendo to improve her nonexistent CQC, talk about Chekhov's training...

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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Side note - Do you really think Ange and Kuu are mean enough to place them in actual lethal traps? They only said they would be killed to make them put an actual effort in escaping. If they knew it was mostly harmless they wouldn't be trying to escape so hard or do things like Irish did.

Besides, this is better than the one where they get placed in actual lethal traps and they use more inhumane methods to escape (For example, Irish uses the trap to break his thumb in order to slip it through, rather than use it to break the bindings). Besides, most of the experiments later border on ridiculous (Ichika being sprayed with catnip then locked into a room full of cats) or borderline idiotic (Irish being forced to wear bunny ears after they get super glued on him).
It was the atmosphere, man, the atmosphere, Ange and Kuu is creepy enough to make me imagining something that COULD happen in things goes wrong.
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Old 2011-11-30, 18:30   Link #10582
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@ Senpai - Rosario+Vampire is a good example of this. The girls all love the same guy and are fully trying to get him to love the. Does this mean they're going to play dirty or hurt each other to do it? Hell no! They even drop chances if it means helping each other out of problems.

Side note - And now Kuu finds the little albino "interesting" How do mad scientists try to woo people anyway?
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Old 2011-11-30, 18:38   Link #10583
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Senpai - Rosario+Vampire is a good example of this. The girls all love the same guy and are fully trying to get him to love the. Does this mean they're going to play dirty or hurt each other to do it? Hell no! They even drop chances if it means helping each other out of problems.
Problem is: unlike Tsukune, Ichika can't be honest. Let's face it, Tsukune made it crystal clear that he wanted only Moka and Moka alone (maybe two, inner and outer Moka ).

For the girls to woo him after that is hopeless and pure angst material, and boy does it deliver! The snow girl for example will go sterile in young age, which means if she can't get a spouse in 20's, she's left without a child.

The same can be played to other member of harem in R+V. My plan of Sacred Twins is that they're become TRUE Nakama after learning that Ichika and Madoka are anything but stated.

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Side note - And now Kuu finds the little albino "interesting" How do mad scientists try to woo people anyway?
By showing them mad science? Of course they'll wonder what the heck Ange is thinking, or even frightened and flee.
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Old 2011-11-30, 18:50   Link #10584
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@ Senpai - Then just have Ichika show hints later on (intentional or not) that the person he wants to be with is Madoka. This should make the girls more accepting rather than him saying "Nope, I only like my sis sorry" and being blunt as hell about it. Of course, how you handle their acceptance is what makes it interesting.

Problem is, Canon!Ichika shows signs of being asexual and I think his preffered type is the cool big sis/tall dark and Bishoujo which none of the harem (Except possibly Tatenashi and Houki) have. Notice he shows signs of attraction to those two more than the others.

Side note - I meant Kuu, not Ange. Ange has a Daddy complex so she won't be falling for anyone. Also, I'm mostly wondering how to handle Kuu's interactions (Stalker with a crush/yandere/tries to perform experiments on him etc etc) She was raised by Tabane of all people, she can't be that normal!
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Old 2011-11-30, 19:01   Link #10585
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Senpai - Then just have Ichika show hints later on (intentional or not) that the person he wants to be with is Madoka. This should make the girls more accepting rather than him saying "Nope, I only like my sis sorry" and being blunt as hell about it. Of course, how you handle their acceptance is what makes it interesting.
Of course since self-denial is part of Ichika's flaws, the girls must solved it way before he can confess. So they can said "We already knew" when Ichika had enough courage and self-acceptance to said that he loved Madoka.

*cue tears*

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Problem is, Canon!Ichika shows signs of being asexual and I think his preffered type is the cool big sis/tall dark and Bishoujo which none of the harem (Except possibly Tatenashi and Houki) have. Notice he shows signs of attraction to those two more than the others.
Asexual my ass, he's perfectly healthy male with libido he must suppress... but I agree with the Cool Big Sis type, notice that he paid Houki more attention when she's being cold than when she's being tsun/ dere.... and he was uncomfortable with Tatenashi's cheerful side, but utterly repect her mature side.

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Side note - I meant Kuu, not Ange. Ange has a Daddy complex so she won't be falling for anyone. Also, I'm mostly wondering how to handle Kuu's interactions (Stalker with a crush/yandere/tries to perform experiments on him etc etc) She was raised by Tabane of all people, she can't be that normal!
Lawl, I think creepy child stereotype is enough for Kuu, so she APPEARS like a Yandere without being actually harmful.
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Old 2011-11-30, 19:14   Link #10586
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@ Senpai - Of course, we must have a comical breakdown for Chifuyu once she figures out what happens. No one, and I mean no one, can stay sane once they find their little siblings fully admitting to be in a romantic relationship.

Really? He shows signs of being gay as well. Notice his actions towards Charles in the anime. I know he was happy about seeing another male (Most guys would really), but holding his hands, insisting to change in the same room, and blushing when he was convinced she was still a dude? His narration of Charles looks in the novel don't help things.

Side note - Then I guess she has no possibility with Irish then, his type is the opposite.

For Shadow:

Ichika - Tall dark and bishoujo or Yamato Nadeshiko girls. (Stemming from his constant beatings that he actually wants a sweet girl)

Kyuukai - Nekomimi or Multi-eye color girls. (Dunno the reason, maybe he just likes them because he has hentai on them?)

Irish - Cool big sis or serious girls. (This is mostly from his experience of growing up without a proper role model. Most of the time, he's chaste)
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Old 2011-11-30, 19:25   Link #10587
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@ Senpai - Of course, we must have a comical breakdown for Chifuyu once she figures out what happens. No one, and I mean no one, can stay sane once they find their little siblings fully admitting to be in a romantic relationship.
Comical breakdown? She's involved with her half sibling! But I agree that would be ironic and hypocritically funny. Sho she'll opt to be silent.

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Really? He shows signs of being gay as well. Notice his actions towards Charles in the anime. I know he was happy about seeing another male (Most guys would really), but holding his hands, insisting to change in the same room, and blushing when he was convinced she was still a dude? His narration of Charles looks in the novel don't help things.
Then Bi the way he is....

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Side note - Then I guess she has no possibility with Irish then, his type is the opposite.

For Shadow:

Ichika - Tall dark and bishoujo or Yamato Nadeshiko girls. (Stemming from his constant beatings that he actually wants a sweet girl)

Kyuukai - Nekomimi or Multi-eye color girls. (Dunno the reason, maybe he just likes them because he has hentai on them?)

Irish - Cool big sis or serious girls. (This is mostly from his experience of growing up without a proper role model. Most of the time, he's chaste)
Awww, Karon has no chance.
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Old 2011-11-30, 19:32   Link #10588
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@ Senpai - Hypocrisy can be used for humor, you know. Besides, she might be more worried about how the world will handle a child from IhiGAR and GARdoka. I'm sure the women of the world won't be safe at all!

Chifuyu: I should make their kid wear a chastity belt...

Ichika's straight in Shadow, but the constant ho-yay with Irish (Mostly cause he's paranoid after Charles) does make people think about it.

Side note - Karon's a cool big sis, right? He doesn't care about physical appearance (Flat chest jokes on Karon aside) and this is why he gets attached to Yamada pretty quick later on. Also why he doesn't get along with Tatenashi and Karon at first (Both are mischievous).
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Old 2011-11-30, 19:40   Link #10589
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Eras, that short... was freaky.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
Awww, Karon has no chance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Side note - Karon's a cool big sis, right? He doesn't care about physical appearance (Flat chest jokes on Karon aside) and this is why he gets attached to Yamada pretty quick later on. Also why he doesn't get along with Tatenashi and Karon at first (Both are mischievous).
The role she ends up playing with Irish is rather like a big sis, but cool...? Not when she turns into imouto mode when prodded about her chest.
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Old 2011-11-30, 19:41   Link #10590
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@ Senpai - Hypocrisy can be used for humor, you know. Besides, she might be more worried about how the world will handle a child from IchiGAR and GARdoka. I'm sure the women of the world won't be safe at all!

Chifuyu: I should make their kid wear a chastity belt...
To think that for Ichika and Madoka to get happy marriage is to stay in I.S. academy (Incest is illegal in everywhere)....

At least they won't end up involved with each other....marking the end of "Big screwed up" family in Orimura line

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Ichika's straight in Shadow, but the constant ho-yay with Irish (Mostly cause he's paranoid after Charles) does make people think about it.
Can't be more paranoid than that....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Side note - Karon's a cool big sis, right? He doesn't care about physical appearance (Flat chest jokes on Karon aside) and this is why he gets attached to Yamada pretty quick later on. Also why he doesn't get along with Tatenashi and Karon at first (Both are mischievous).
Lol, how I don't realize that is a shame.
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Old 2011-11-30, 19:47   Link #10591
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@ Meistah - Why would Karon get so pissed at him anyway? He's obviously complimenting her and mentions it's a good thing.

@ Senpai - Maybe they can be teachers? They seem like they're good enough for it.

The paranoia only increases cause he never sees Irish with his pants down. Always some way that prevents him from seeing.

Of course, when hormones set in (lack of skull suit time) he's gonna be a wreck whenever he hangs out with any female. Trying not to think anything when you're experiencing puberty is a bitch.

Side note - Why does everyone find the SAW parody creepy? Both of them are obviously joking and the lack of gore is obvious.
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Old 2011-11-30, 20:01   Link #10592
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Yeah, they'll end up as teacher, even more well known that their sister is.

Somewhat ironic that the ET-X that obliterated the Aomori defense force in the spinoff will appear again as a girl, and looks like using a high-tech I.S. than monstrous abomination that B.E.T.A. is.

She learned human emotion from that battle (especially the despair and hopelessness of human in a battle against BETA), hence the reason she evolve into more compact, efficient form, and lose the will to kill random lifeforms (including humans). She then infiltrated the new base (Odaiba) and fell for Dan, talk about foeyay...
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Old 2011-11-30, 20:04   Link #10593
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Yeah, they'll end up as teacher, even more well known that their sister is.

Somewhat ironic that the ET-X that obliterated the Aomori defense force in the spinoff is shaped like a girl, and looks like using a high-tech I.S. than monstrous abomination that B.E.T.A. is.

She learned human emotion from that battle (especially the despair and hopelessness of human in a battle against BETA), hence the reason she evolve into more compact, efficient form, and lose the will to kill random lifeforms (including humans). She then infiltrated the new base (Odaiba) and fell for Dan, talk about foeyay...
Why the eff does Dan get so much foe yay? He's just a normal guy, I'd say he deserves a normal relationship. Hell, Irish only has foe yay because of his general attitude.

Wait, is Ran nicer to Dan in the story or still her same abusive self?
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Old 2011-11-30, 20:23   Link #10594
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Why the eff does Dan get so much foe yay? He's just a normal guy, I'd say he deserves a normal relationship. Hell, Irish only has foe yay because of his general attitude.
This is GrimDark spinoff we're talking about, where Ichika is so badass he can level 17 BETA in a single battle, each much stronger than a squad of four A.S., Dan leveling an enemy equivalent to a warship, all sort of stuff happens.

(Both almost died and failed their mission, but was found near the border of Tokyo. Oh, Chifuyu and Ran died, the first in that mission too)

The FoeYay in Sacred twin is mild (the one PT member fell for him is sympathetic, punch-clock villain).

She work for PT because her COUNTRY (yes, not corporation but COUNTRY) works for PT, she had not much choice but to comply.

She also a reverse mole for the heroes later in the story.

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Wait, is Ran nicer to Dan in the story or still her same abusive self?
Still stern and cruel-mouthed, but certainly not abusive.
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Old 2011-11-30, 21:20   Link #10595
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On phone right now.

@ Eratas: Kyuukai likes those kind of girls because he likes loyalty and faithfulness in a girl. His paranoia (thinking somebody's going to kill him every once in a while), and since a pet is always loyal and faithful to it's master... yeah, blend the two together, and you have Kyuukai Tokiwa's main fetish...

His biggest desire regarding these kind of matters would be to find a scantilly clad catgirl on his bed and ask him with a smile, "Is there anything you'd like, master?"

He also likes unique girls, girls with certain quirks that seperate them from others. Be it personality-wise, appearance-wise, etc. i.e Heterochromia, abnormally large/small breasts, etc.

He just likes the fact that the girl may truly be one of a kind. But then again, most girls are. But before him, these girls are the ones in his life, his bubble of coexistence.

Though he wouldn't mind getting to know any girl outside said bubble.
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Old 2011-11-30, 21:29   Link #10596
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@Zero:

The idea for Dan's story came from your work, which I adapted to fit my fanon. Do you mind if I use it?

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@ Meistah - Why would Karon get so pissed at him anyway? He's obviously complimenting her and mentions it's a good thing.
Karon's conscious of her chest no matter what fanon. In timelines when she's flat, she's conscious of being flat. So she 'retaliates' against Irish like how she reacts to her bro's teasing. "Play fighting" so to speak.

In my fanon, where she's a short girl with huge boobs (D in [Vandam], going to E when she enrols in ISA), she wears clothes that make them seem smaller. This takes inspiration from Taketetsu Ayana, her voice actor, who plays up her loli charm while hiding her E-rank assets.
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Old 2011-11-30, 21:31   Link #10597
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@Zero:

The idea for Dan's story came from your work, which I adapted to fit my fanon. Do you mind if I use it?
Why not? You mean the one where Dan went to engineering school IN SPACE? That one, while dark, isn't as Grim and awful as the MuvLuv inspired one.

EDIT: also will fix a mistype, it's "Joaquim Raffles", not "Joaquim Rafless"
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Old 2011-11-30, 21:32   Link #10598
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@ Senpai - That doesn't seem very grim dark, it seems more like star wars honestly. It would be grim dark if both of them died.

@ Rain - Wait, Kyuukai's a dom!O.o Anyway, his list of girls is broad! What the hell man.

Side note - I posted the SAW parody in the previous page, cam you please read it?

@ Meistah - Can you think of a trap for Maximillian? Non-lethal and possibly ironic mind you.
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Old 2011-11-30, 21:35   Link #10599
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@ Senpai - That doesn't seem very grim dark, it seems more like star wars honestly. It would be grim dark if both of them died.
They WILL die, HOW they died and what ACHIEVED by their death determined whether the story has bittersweet ending or plain Downer ending.
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Old 2011-11-30, 21:41   Link #10600
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@ Eratas: Every man has his secrets. And maybe a case of closet pervert.

The SAW scene is good! Though it raises a question on why Kuu would be so "enthusiastic" to subject her brother to such things...

You (if there's ever a need) could have Tabane's family and the Stark family be friends. Ryuu's paramilitary organization could have bought Stark arms. Kyuukai could know Ange, after coming to stay with them on his diplomacy trip. No romance or the like between the two, but they could be friends, or at the least, aquaintances.

Would make her more sympathetic to the protags who are under crude and unusual torture.
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