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Old 2011-09-09, 04:49   Link #1101
Masuzu
勝利のため
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Don't worry about grammar, it only matters if you go into internet shorthand.

Also, having it balance out the characters, well, it doesn't tend to work out well.

Especially with so many characters. (See hat happened later in the novels, characters get shafted because of this.)
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Old 2011-09-09, 05:01   Link #1102
ZeroXSEED
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Originally Posted by Detective-san View Post
Don't worry about grammar, it only matters if you go into internet shorthand.

Also, having it balance out the characters, well, it doesn't tend to work out well.

Especially with so many characters. (See hat happened later in the novels, characters get shafted because of this.)
DAT is exactly why it's hard to do and we writers push one in the front.

In short, I'm like hoping too much sorry

BTW, I guess it's Cecilia, since they went to London.

DESU WA!!
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Old 2011-09-09, 05:06   Link #1103
DarkJak2050
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Well, here's what I got for a tip:

It's not good to have too many characters as the main cast. Unless if you know how to balance it out. For my Fanfic, I introduced 7 characters (OCs) at once. There's gonna be a total of 8 characters, and here's how I got them broken down (for now):

Main: 4
Support/Re-occurring: 2
Mentioned: 2

Last edited by DarkJak2050; 2011-09-09 at 06:13.
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Old 2011-09-09, 05:15   Link #1104
Eratas123
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I'm gonna try to find a balance for all the haremettes so Cecilia and Rin will be upgraded to 1st tier, possibly Kanzashi as well if I get that far.
Laura will be out of the harem since I'll be using EthernalRain's OC Kyuukai Tokiwa and her romance will be with him.
Still not sure if my second OC is gonna have a romance since he's gynophobic (reasons will be explained later)
My biggest problem so far is Rin since I'm using every heroines past as a catalyst for getting closer with Ichika but her past (Divorced parents) will be hard to use for that.
BTW I'm gonna alter Charlottes and Laura's attitude a bit in this fic since they should be acting darker all things considered; Charlotte because of the physical and mental abuse she receives from her "Home" and Laura because she's a test tube baby child soldier so Charlotte might seem more meek and mentally scarred while Laura will be more cold and pragmatic and will take longer to defrost compared to the anime and light novels
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Old 2011-09-09, 05:50   Link #1105
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
I'm gonna try to find a balance for all the haremettes so Cecilia and Rin will be upgraded to 1st tier, possibly Kanzashi as well if I get that far.
Laura will be out of the harem since I'll be using EthernalRain's OC Kyuukai Tokiwa and her romance will be with him.
Still not sure if my second OC is gonna have a romance since he's gynophobic (reasons will be explained later)
My biggest problem so far is Rin since I'm using every heroines past as a catalyst for getting closer with Ichika but her past (Divorced parents) will be hard to use for that.
BTW I'm gonna alter Charlottes and Laura's attitude a bit in this fic since they should be acting darker all things considered; Charlotte because of the physical and mental abuse she receives from her "Home" and Laura because she's a test tube baby child soldier so Charlotte might seem more meek and mentally scarred while Laura will be more cold and pragmatic and will take longer to defrost compared to the anime and light novels
Future scenario for Sacred Twins, and thus spoiler:
I will took similar approach with Laura, she's colder and took time to melt, but LESS ruthless and sadistic than Novel/ Anime version.

Rather than tried to kill, her fight with the heroines looks like she's toying them, humiliating them with as little physical injury as she can, flaunting her superiority over them in front of Orimura-Kyouka.

BTW, as for the Harem Tier:

In current planning, Madoka and Cecilia will be tier 1 and Houki 1.5 (up and down), but I feel threatened by the upcoming appearance of red comet, err, orange-kun, err... whatever-she's-called.

Considering how shoehorned Charu is in the fandom, I just can't push her down to tier 2 despite this being plot mandated (And really, too much IchiLotte already, they said too much of a good thing make you sic).

CALL A DENTIIISSTT!!!! AAAGHHHH!!!!!

....Phew, anybody has an idea? My only solution right now is to make Ichika NOT finding Char's real gender until after Gospel Incident, thus falling behind other heroines by ungodly amount, except for Laura because I kicked her out of harem for the sake of character development.
........Or just make Charlotte x Laura maybe....like Tsukasa (Crossdesser female) and Subaru (real female) from .Hack//Sign (i.e. don't care about genders)

Worse, I just make Charlotte female-to-male trans, because well HIS father is EVIL (just like me, the author). But I don't think fans will tolerate this last ditch solution
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Old 2011-09-09, 06:12   Link #1106
Eratas123
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how do you post something as a spoiler?
I wanna post the first part of my chapter 2 here so anybody can read and see if the characters are OOC or if the grammar has any mistakes but I don't wanna just copy and paste it since it's 8 pages and a bit too big.
sorry I'm a bit of a newbie at posting in forums.
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Old 2011-09-09, 06:23   Link #1107
ZeroXSEED
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
how do you post something as a spoiler?
I wanna post the first part of my chapter 2 here so anybody can read and see if the characters are OOC or if the grammar has any mistakes but I don't wanna just copy and paste it since it's 8 pages and a bit too big.
sorry I'm a bit of a newbie at posting in forums.
By spoiler I mean I told you before posting the chapter/ story part in question

If you think it would be too large, just gave some of the 'best part'. But 8 pages...not really, my stories at least reach 12-18 pages and about 4000-6500 in word count including commentary & lines (Verdana, 9 pt, space 1.5)

....decided to make Char x Laura as side pairing, gender of Char has yet to be decided.
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Old 2011-09-09, 06:40   Link #1108
Eratas123
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Not what I meant sorry.
I meant the spoiler button thing like what you did to your story in the previous page cause I don't wanna copy paste the 8 pages and post them as a quick reply.
The one where you push the button next to the "warning spoiler for..." and you press if you wanna read what's inside.
I know 8 pages aren't that big, I meant that they're too big to post as quick replies.
Oh! and congratulations for making the first Char x Laura pairing in a fanfic.
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Old 2011-09-09, 07:14   Link #1109
blitz1/2
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I'd think that for Charlotte to not be in Ichika's harem means that ichika can't find out her true gender, therefore can't show his kind side to her. But then, there's the problem with how much of the plot will be altered...what a dilemma...
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Old 2011-09-09, 08:26   Link #1110
ZeroXSEED
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ZeroXSEED: "TROPE CARD ACTIVATE!"

Choose card to activate:
For want of a Twincest
In Spite of a Twincest

ZeroXSEED: "Blitz, you already knew which card I placed on the field"
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Old 2011-09-09, 08:28   Link #1111
Eratas123
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If Charlotte goes trans wouldn't that affect his/her ability to pilot? does that mean male to female transgenders can pilot the IS too? (thinks of the possibilities to include in fic)
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Old 2011-09-09, 08:42   Link #1112
ZeroXSEED
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Lightbulb

Well, as I said, it's last ditch measure. Even though I'm not a big fan of Yuri (not that I hate them or something), it's still makes more sense than trans-arm...I mean trans-gendered Char (Sorry, Gundam 00 Slipup).

The possibility of [Female to Male] is definitely higher than [Male to female], but who knows, it's still up to author's creativity.

On aside note, chapter 4 is up and sail. Read and Review please!
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Last edited by ZeroXSEED; 2011-09-09 at 11:14.
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Old 2011-09-09, 08:52   Link #1113
Eratas123
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Sweet! I'm gonna read right it right now.
Need some advice though- Who should be Ichika's roommate at the hotel in the london trip? Cecilia, Rin or Houki? can anybody please reply cause I have scenarios planned out for all three but can't decide which to use. thank you in advance
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Old 2011-09-09, 09:02   Link #1114
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Sweet! I'm gonna read right it right now.
Need some advice though- Who should be Ichika's roommate at the hotel in the london trip? Cecilia, Rin or Houki? can anybody please reply cause I have scenarios planned out for all three but can't decide which to use. thank you in advance
I believe it's Chifuyu, because Rin and Houki would be to busy re-enacting their "Childhood Friend's Previleges" and beating the shit of each other until Ling snap and use Jia Long, Chifuyu will interfere. I suggest rather than having them share a room, romantic conversation before sleeping is better.

Sorry to interfere with your scenario, if only Chifuyu-neesama wasn't there with them...

Spoiler for Alternative:
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Old 2011-09-09, 09:27   Link #1115
Eratas123
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Thanks for the ideas man, those are way funnier than what I planned.
Based on what you said I now have three scenarios planned:
1. Chifuyu sleeps in the same room as Ichika but she got drunk after drinking with Yamada-sensei (should really put what she's doing, I've been ignoring her up to now) and crawled into Ichika's bed by accident, the rest of the harem shows up and then see the two on the same bed, they immediately start bawling about how"they've lost to the sister", which wakes everybody else on the floor wake up and go investigate.
2.Cecilia sneaks into Ichika's room while Chifuyu is busy dealing with Houki and Rin and when Ichika wakes up he thinks "something" happened in their sleep and starts panicking, Chifuyu-nee starts knocking on the door and Ichika panics even more and tries to hide Cecilia. (don't know if he should succeed or fail, depending on what's funnier)
3.The entire harem sneaks into the room and all of them try to kidnap Ichika in his sleep, they start brawling it out there and Ichika wakes up and tries to stop them. Unfortunately all their clothes get damaged in the fight and when the teachers try to see what all the noise was they see Ichika (Shirtless, it got torn off by a misfired IS beam) trying to push down the three girls with their clothes all torn and they all proceed to get mauled by Chifuyu
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Old 2011-09-09, 09:55   Link #1116
Masuzu
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That is some quick-as-fuck updating on the Wincest fic, I should learn something,

since my fic is still in limbo while several others that I plan on doing are stuck with the umbilical chord around their necks.
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Old 2011-09-09, 09:57   Link #1117
ZeroXSEED
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Thanks for the ideas man, those are way funnier than what I planned.
Based on what you said I now have three scenarios planned:
1. Chifuyu sleeps in the same room as Ichika but she got drunk after drinking with Yamada-sensei (should really put what she's doing, I've been ignoring her up to now) and crawled into Ichika's bed by accident, the rest of the harem shows up and then see the two on the same bed, they immediately start bawling about how"they've lost to the sister", which wakes everybody else on the floor wake up and go investigate.
2.Cecilia sneaks into Ichika's room while Chifuyu is busy dealing with Houki and Rin and when Ichika wakes up he thinks "something" happened in their sleep and starts panicking, Chifuyu-nee starts knocking on the door and Ichika panics even more and tries to hide Cecilia. (don't know if he should succeed or fail, depending on what's funnier)
3.The entire harem sneaks into the room and all of them try to kidnap Ichika in his sleep, they start brawling it out there and Ichika wakes up and tries to stop them. Unfortunately all their clothes get damaged in the fight and when the teachers try to see what all the noise was they see Ichika (Shirtless, it got torn off by a misfired IS beam) trying to push down the three girls with their clothes all torn and they all proceed to get mauled by Chifuyu
Combine scenario 2 and 3, Cecilia trying to sneak into Ichika's room but Houki and Ling followed her. But Ichika getting mistaken for a pervert is too cliche.

Spoiler for Potentially NSFW language:


Use the first scenario for second night, because even drunken-ass Chifuyu will make sure Ichika stay safe.

Spoiler for I'll keep you our of harms way, Ichika:


^ Yamada Sensei's Fantasy, not actually happen.
Maya: "Orimura-sensei can sacrifice everything for his happiness, even if it's morally depraved and shameful, how touching"

She keep everything in secret, but the girls find out. The girls bawling together is good too.

EDIT: This thread became crazier and crazier, Eratas, you're awesome! Start friking write it right now!

Box, stay tuned and just spill whatever balls-to-the wall idea you currently had. Rule 34 (modified for SFW) dictates; if there's an idea, someone's gonna write it, because Incest and Twincest just the beginning....
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Last edited by ZeroXSEED; 2011-09-09 at 11:11.
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Old 2011-09-09, 13:05   Link #1118
DarkJak2050
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I'd appreciate the support, Zero. Now, here's another problem...

I don't know if I should actually post IS: Project Silverback on Fanfic.net. The new recent IS Fanfics posted on there, the Fanfic.net users don't like them. Particularly Covert Strike and Secrets the Fire has Revealed. Mainly because they have this "Gary Stu" or "Mary Sue" material as you guys call it?

With that, I'm not sure if I should post my Fanfic on there. Being an OC story with practically none of the Canon Characters showing. If they don't like OCs that are part of the actual IS story or plot with the Canon Characters, I have a feeling that they're gonna lashout on it for being an OC story and the lack of Canon Characters.

And besides, it feels like I'm not getting enough support/feedback here to keep me going with IS: Project Silverback.

Last edited by DarkJak2050; 2011-09-09 at 13:28.
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Old 2011-09-09, 13:52   Link #1119
ZeroXSEED
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Originally Posted by DarkJak2050 View Post
I'd appreciate the support, Zero. Now, here's another problem...

I don't know if I should actually post IS: Project Silverback on Fanfic.net. The new recent IS Fanfics posted on there, the Fanfic.net users don't like them. Particularly Covert Strike and Secrets the Fire has Revealed. Mainly because they have this "Gary Stu" or "Mary Sue" material as you guys call it?

With that, I'm not sure if I should post my Fanfic on there. Being an OC story with practically none of the Canon Characters showing. If they don't like OCs that are part of the actual IS story or plot with the Canon Characters, I have a feeling that they're gonna lashout on it for being an OC story and the lack of Canon Characters.

And besides, it feels like I'm not getting enough support/feedback here to keep me going with IS: Project Silverback.
.....I think you should have try it anyway

Gary Stu / Mary Sue = All perfect character with no interesting depth or important flaw, in short, boring. Often a projection of author's 'ideal self'.

The Phrase itself is Subjective, for example, Tatenashi Sarashiki is all perfect, very flawless character. But amongst us, only few call her definite "Mary Sue", she's just lucky because FANS just happen to like her.

I myself are one of few people to call her one, because I find her boring and too perfect to be true, and I ranked her under all other heroines, no exception. I'm sorry for anyone who like her and read this, it's just personal opinion.

Don't worry about this trap, you make an interesting character with realistic skill and flaws, I knew it from the prologue.

Regarding the support, look at my other fic, To-Love-RU Stratos, it has only 2 reviews citing it's bad grammar, if you note, it's whopping 50+ thousand words.

Some of my other fics are lucky to have ten or so, this latest project of me is what people call Springtime for Hitler = expected to fail by athor, unexpectedly a big hit amongst reader.

You never knew unless you try Jak, be patient and keep writing
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Old 2011-09-09, 14:23   Link #1120
blitz1/2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
.....I think you should have try it anyway

Gary Stu / Mary Sue = All perfect character with no interesting depth or important flaw, in short, boring. Often a projection of author's 'ideal self'.

The Phrase itself is Subjective, for example, Tatenashi Sarashiki is all perfect, very flawless character. But amongst us, only few call her definite "Mary Sue", she's just lucky because FANS just happen to like her.

I myself are one of few people to call her one, because I find her boring and too perfect to be true, and I ranked her under all other heroines, no exception. I'm sorry for anyone who like her and read this, it's just personal opinion.

Don't worry about this trap, you make an interesting character with realistic skill and flaws, I knew it from the prologue.

Regarding the support, look at my other fic, To-Love-RU Stratos, it has only 2 reviews citing it's bad grammar, if you note, it's whopping 50+ thousand words.

Some of my other fics are lucky to have ten or so, this latest project of me is what people call Springtime for Hitler = expected to fail by athor, unexpectedly a big hit amongst reader.

You never knew unless you try Jak, be patient and keep writing
I wouldn't call Tatenashi a mary sue, not after volume 6 and 7.
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