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Old 2011-12-08, 02:48   Link #11761
ZeroXSEED
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@ Senpai - The author is apparently being forced to keep it a harem. He actually prefers he get with either Charlotte or Houki and get it over with.
Jeezz, as I thoth.

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I'm planning to start the switch fic soon. Are you free next week?
My schedule is unpredictable, every-time I started my fic, papers keep coming. And By the time I was free, I already lost my drive.

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@ demino_hellsin - Personal pilots basically represent their country. That's still a high position to be in.
Ayup, and very risky for your career in the long run.
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Old 2011-12-08, 02:54   Link #11762
demino_hellsin
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that makes it sound even less impressive D:

I never was one to aim for top of the honor roll
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Old 2011-12-08, 02:55   Link #11763
Eratas123
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@ Senpai - Don't you have christmas break? That should give you some free time, right? Also, I'll just make the story light hearted at first and it'll get serious depending on where I want it to go.

What kind of gun can you hide in your body? The knife Irish has can be hidden under his clothes, but I don't know whether to just find a small gun or drop guns altogether.

Anyway, I'm asking Fangking for help in Daydreams and Future imperfect

@demino_hellsin - They also get paid and tend to get jobs like modeling or magazine interviews. The position isn't that good, but the benefits tend to be good.
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Old 2011-12-08, 02:56   Link #11764
ZeroXSEED
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that makes it sound even less impressive D:

I never was one to aim for top of the honor roll
Proverb; the faster they can rise, the harder they can fall. You knew this is the reason Canon!Ichika lacks ambition whatsoever (wanted to undergo a perfectly normal life).

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@ Senpai - Don't you have christmas break? That should give you some free time, right? Also, I'll just make the story light hearted at first and it'll get serious depending on where I want it to go.
In my country Christmas break is only one day (25 December), that aside, I can still read it if you want me to comments.

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What kind of gun can you hide in your body? The knife Irish has can be hidden under his clothes, but I don't know whether to just find a small gun or drop guns altogether.
Most gun (i.e. pistol, revolver) can easily hid in a clothes, especially if they're using low-medium power cartridge (38 ACP or 9mm). There's problem with metal detector, but once you can pass that concealing guns is easy.

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Anyway, I'm asking Fangking for help in Daydreams and Future imperfect
Lol, he's a talented writer like you, so the result would be exceptionally good.

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@demino_hellsin - They also get paid and tend to get jobs like modeling or magazine interviews. The position isn't that good, but the benefits tend to be good.
Ayup, of course you have to perform excellently in your main job as I.S. pilot if you want to gain such popularity.
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Old 2011-12-08, 03:01   Link #11765
demino_hellsin
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If the AE was going to be tested with supervising teachers, what would be the best course of action? Basic maneuvers;mock battle(if so, what opponent would be best?); or just diagnostics and analysis?
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Old 2011-12-08, 03:04   Link #11766
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If the AE was going to be tested with supervising teachers, what would be the best course of action?
Hmmm

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Basic maneuvers;
The most important, also add some weaponry and endurance test.

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mock battle(if so, what opponent would be best?);
Probably common Uchigane/ Raphael with a combat instructor as pilot (for safety). They will play lenient though...

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or just diagnostics and analysis?
All the above happens after and before this (pre-combat and post-combat analysis)
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Old 2011-12-08, 03:09   Link #11767
Eratas123
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@ demino_hellsin - All three. Diagnostic and analysis first, basic maneuvers afterwards, then Mock battle if they want to see it in action.

Plot hole: IS academy is legally a school for "sports equipment". Why would they place a machine that's actually for fighting there?

@ Senpai - I'm not just asking for comments, I was wondering if you can help me co-write it if possible. It's gonna be complicated and I don't want to just copy paste everything.

Also, I guess I might have to drop the gun since any of the ones you suggested is like shooting peas at an I.S. The knife at least works when they're close.

Side note - Not a good author. That's why I ask for help all the time.
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Old 2011-12-08, 03:16   Link #11768
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Plot hole: IS academy is legally a school for "sports equipment". Why would they place a machine that's actually for fighting there?
Fun fact: most combat capable I.S. are constructed and develooped in their respective countries (Silver Gospel, SIlent Zephyr, etc) using data obtained from personal I.S. in the academy.

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@ Senpai - I'm not just asking for comments, I was wondering if you can help me co-write it if possible. It's gonna be complicated and I don't want to just copy paste everything.
Well, I dunno, but I promise I'll try to help.

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Also, I guess I might have to drop the gun since any of the ones you suggested is like shooting peas at an I.S. The knife at least works when they're close.
There's also custom ammo (such as what used by Kyuukai's sonata), but maybe you can have Irish upgrade Jammer knife or something.

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Side note - Not a good author. That's why I ask for help all the time.
Nah, the way you write is amazing, so did the fangking. You guys advance fast enough beyond recognition,

In fact, I'm a little envious. My way of writing never advances beyond 'grammatically incorrect but still readable" since two years ago.
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Old 2011-12-08, 03:18   Link #11769
demino_hellsin
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@era-era: I counter with other plotholes from canon! Schwarzer Regen and Blue Tears are both prototype military units for Germany and England respectively and are both nominees for europe's mass produced military IS. They engaged Silver Gospel(a serious military IS) with sports machines...
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Old 2011-12-08, 03:22   Link #11770
ZeroXSEED
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@era-era: I counter with other plotholes from canon! Schwarzer Regen and Blue Tears are both prototype military units for Germany and England respectively and are both nominees for europe's mass produced military IS. They engaged Silver Gospel(a serious military IS) with sports machines...
Because they want to keep Gospel a secret duh. But of course, yes, you can use the fact that the VERY EXISTENCE of AE is dangerous and must be kept as secret...
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Old 2011-12-08, 03:22   Link #11771
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@ Senpai - If you're too busy, I'll just drop it. I don't want to bother you too much

Also, upgrade the knife how? It can already disable shields temporarily for 5-10 seconds and destroy regular machinery. I don't know how much more I can improve it.

I just watched the OVA and seeing Dan charge into the festival looking for Ran honestly surprised me. I didn't think he cared so much about her, given the way she treats him. I can use that for her Daydream and in Shadow

Side note - Better than my previous writing style I had no line breaks and when characters have a convo, I put it in the same paragraph

Wait, I thought Houki was under witness protection? Why is her mom in the shrine?

@ demino_hellsin - Because the Regen and the blue tears can be used for sports and is used for exactly that. The AE is a power house machine just for fighting and developed by terrorists.
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Old 2011-12-08, 03:26   Link #11772
demino_hellsin
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@zero: in my world the intelligence network of all the countries are very sensitive.

The excuse was that America was pressured to hand over the AE to the UN but they didn't really trust everyone not to steal it for themselves. In order for a safeguard to be set up against monopolizing the AE they sent it to the most neutral of neutral grounds which is ISA.

EDIT: @eratas: That's why the machine was limited in its functions. The engine should only operate at 40% and have a shield counter interface in a back-up computer while in ISA.
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Old 2011-12-08, 03:28   Link #11773
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@ Senpai - If you're too busy, I'll just drop it. I don't want to bother you too much
Sorry I can't help too much.

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Also, upgrade the knife how? It can already disable shields temporarily for 5-10 seconds and destroy regular machinery. I don't know how much more I can improve it.
You remember that idea where JK became a Cool Trench knife (that can be used to enhance his punching power), and somewhat more durable due to better material used.

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I just watched the OVA and seeing Dan charge into the festival looking for Ran honestly surprised me. I didn't think he cared so much about her, given the way she treats him. I can use that for her Daydream and in Shadow
Lol, if only my internet is fast enough...

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Side note - Better than my previous writing style I had no line breaks and when characters have a convo, I put it in the same paragraph
Hence I said you advance very fast. Case closed.
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Old 2011-12-08, 03:33   Link #11774
Eratas123
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@ Senpai - Then can I just send you the chapters when I'm done and you tell me if it's okay?

I'll add those upgrades in later Still, I don't want to put too much focus on combat for him since he excels in strategy, planning, and hacking. Tatenashi is the powerhouse in their partnership.

I thought Houki's parents were under witness protection and had to constantly move? The hell was her mom doing there in the shrine where she's wide open to anyone?

Also, why does Dan take all of Ran's flack? He doesn't even tell her off if she's being to annoying or abusive.
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Old 2011-12-08, 03:39   Link #11775
ZeroXSEED
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@ Senpai - Then can I just send you the chapters when I'm done and you tell me if it's okay?
Ayup.

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I'll add those upgrades in later Still, I don't want to put too much focus on combat for him since he excels in strategy, planning, and hacking. Tatenashi is the powerhouse in their partnership.
Think of it as Chekhov's Gun, Twin!Ichika doesn't use his Gatling gun that much (replaced by another Chekhov's gun later: a Laser cannon), but it'll be crucial WHEN he used it at all.

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I thought Houki's parents were under witness protection and had to constantly move? The hell was her mom doing there in the shrine where she's wide open to anyone?
Well, I think author JUST forgot? After all pretty much he was forbidden from exploring darker issues too deep.

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Also, why does Dan take all of Ran's flack? He doesn't even tell her off if she's being to annoying or abusive.
Maybe rule of funny? Ran is not that abusive in Sacred Twins either, neither Twins!Dan are as meek. Their dynamic still unchanged though...
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Old 2011-12-08, 03:48   Link #11776
Eratas123
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@ Senpai - I'll send you the first chapter when I can By the way, where's To LOVE Ru Stratos?

Just wondering: Once Maya or Tatenashi notices Irish's degradation into bishie and the fact that he starts acting weaker, would they still let him go on missions? Not Zombie like yet, more on the fact that he seems to pant a lot more and look even paler than usual.

Then I guess her parents being missing is going to be one of her major theme's in her Daydream re-write

I'll change her reason for being like that in her daydream: She wanted to be independent after her dad died but Dan always tried to be the big bro for her. This causes her to lash out at him when he tries to help her since she doesn't feel like she should bother her brother.

Too far fetched or plausible?
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Old 2011-12-08, 04:01   Link #11777
Masuzu
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No no, it's a girl IS pilot, and yes, I'm still going to write the detective fic.
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Old 2011-12-08, 04:04   Link #11778
ZeroXSEED
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@ Senpai - I'll send you the first chapter when I can By the way, where's To LOVE Ru Stratos?
Don't be too hurry, I have one paper per day at least until Christmas.

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Just wondering: Once Maya or Tatenashi notices Irish's degradation into bishie and the fact that he starts acting weaker, would they still let him go on missions? Not Zombie like yet, more on the fact that he seems to pant a lot more and look even paler than usual.
Maybe have Irish failed/ almost failed to achieve his objectives at least once. From the reports and evaluation, it was found that his performance is degrading and he needs to be rehabilitated soon.

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Then I guess her parents being missing is going to be one of her major theme's in her Daydream re-write
Ayup, Houki will met her mother later in mine, but she's well guarded.

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I'll change her reason for being like that in her daydream: She wanted to be independent after her dad died but Dan always tried to be the big bro for her. This causes her to lash out at him when he tries to help her since she doesn't feel like she should bother her brother.

Too far fetched or plausible?
Possibly understandable, but I want to see Dan call her out at least once.
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Old 2011-12-08, 04:12   Link #11779
Eratas123
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@ Senpai - Thanks, I'll use that as a catalyst for his slow signs of degradation. First the drug problems, now this. Maya's going to be a very stressed mother once all this is over

I think I'll use her mother being in the festival to greet her for her daydream near the end. that is, just before she gets blocked again.

I was planning for Ichika to call her out on this during the cave scene, so when Dan goes there to help her the first thing she does is apologize for everything and admit she needs his help sometimes too. Then again, that might make it more complicated than a simple daydream
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Old 2011-12-08, 04:29   Link #11780
wavehawk
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...somewhere in Australia lies the body of a fanfic writer.

He is dead.

He is unable to write.

This may be because of the hundreds of knives sticking out of his back.

And also the pool of blood he's swimming in.

Bad [Ren]. Bad, bad fanfiction chara....
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