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Old 2011-12-09, 04:04   Link #11921
demino_hellsin
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@eratas: Then the two outlines are probably flops.

I left my understanding of sento asura above as an edit haha
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Old 2011-12-09, 04:14   Link #11922
Eratas123
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@ Senpai - That's fair then How do you plan to introduce her, though? As a villain in a fight or as a spy for PT pretending to be a student?

The life span thing might be a problem since they'll eventually outlive their friends and family. Oh well, they have at least 50 years to make memories Maybe more if they receive the same medicine Tabane's getting.

Irish getting beaten up is to remind readers he's not a badass one man army. Without his weapons, he may as well be a rag doll for all it matters. That and to show Maya is more than a ditz since she managed to beat up thugs twice her size while wearing a dress and not getting a single scratch on her

@ demi - Give me the outlines Remember, this is a daydream, it's not too far fetched that they'd BS some thing to favor them. For example, in her Daydream Cecilia can actually cook!

Asura sounds like a good IS name for a pure physical blade and melee IS, though.

@ Senpai, Box and demi - For a cha ge of pace, I plan to put a bonding chapter for Ichika, Charlotte, and Charles for Future Imperfect. Any suggestions for activities apart from house?
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Old 2011-12-09, 04:15   Link #11923
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
sento = actually means 1000(sen) blades(to) in this case, but I think it can also be misinterpreted as another character/phrase which means "combat"
Which is Sensou (= war), anyway, it's Sentou (Read as Sen-toh) not Sento. Usually written with striped o (I forgot what unicode)

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Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
Asura = I think this is more religion than anything because Asura seems to be a recurring word I see in mythology, buddhist or hindu I forgot which. As far as I know Asura is supposed to be the god of war/combat/ferocity
It's Buddhist, and Asura is God of War/ Wrath.

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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Senpai - That's fair then How do you plan to introduce her, though? As a villain in a fight or as a spy for PT pretending to be a student?
She already introduced as Char's mentor figure/ osananajimi, so, Chekhov's gunman ahoy!

(She'll shown up late in I.S. academy as Char's connection, Shes's in Class 3-A, She's current I.S. Representative for France, and Student Council President until she defeated by Tatenashi)

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The life span thing might be a problem since they'll eventually outlive their friends and family. Oh well, they have at least 50 years to make memories Maybe more if they receive the same medicine Tabane's getting.
Don't you tempt me to write bittersweet ending for that . As I said, MAYBE, it's unknown whether the genes work or not.

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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Irish getting beaten up is to remind readers he's not a badass one man army. Without his weapons, he may as well be a rag doll for all it matters. That and to show Maya is more than a ditz since she managed to beat up thugs twice her size while wearing a dress and not getting a single scratch on her
I approve

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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Senpai, Box and demi - For a cha ge of pace, I plan to put a bonding chapter for Ichika, Charlotte, and Charles for Future Imperfect. Any suggestions for activities apart from house?
Charlotte and Charles.
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Old 2011-12-09, 04:27   Link #11924
HasuMasu
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Once again I'm having a hard time choosing weather to use 1st or 3rd person.


So here's a comparison:

Spoiler for 1st person:


Spoiler for 3rd person:


Honestly I think they both need some fine-tuning.
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Old 2011-12-09, 04:28   Link #11925
Eratas123
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@ Senpai - You love Checkovs Gun's, don't you? Anyway, are you going to have her pretend to be nice or be a bitch? Also, does she know Charles' true gender?

The life span thing is a problem I don't like dealing with. Though that may be hypocritical since Irish is dying by the time Shadow starts. Think I should have him die early or be cured when the rehab takes place?

The thugs are probably carrying small knives but nothing apart from that. What can rep candidates do outside of their suits in combat? Irish is useless since he was forced to disarm and doesn't have the skull suit with him.

Also, Charles in Future Imperfect is Charlotte and Ichika's future son. Any idea of activites apart from the kid telling them to play House?

@ Box - It depends. Do you want to focus on dialogue or actions? Usually it's 1st person for dialogue, and 3rd person for actions.
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Old 2011-12-09, 04:36   Link #11926
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Then I'll use both.
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Old 2011-12-09, 04:37   Link #11927
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@ Box - Any suggestions for my question a few posts up?
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Old 2011-12-09, 04:39   Link #11928
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Senpai - You love Checkovs Gun's, don't you? Anyway, are you going to have her pretend to be nice or be a bitch? Also, does she know Charles' true gender?
While she CAN be genuinely nice to people she liked, she's mostly bitch in sheep clothing, and even Charles is suspicious of this part of her, though just like Ichika, he has some issues about self-denial.

She does knew, and resent her father for brainwash Charles and making her undergo surgery since she hated men but highly probable to be bisexual (She can even list Ichika, Charles, and later Josh, as some 'bearable exceptions'.

Oh but she also resent Male!Char a little since her position as Representative is threatened GREATLY and might replace her sooner than she wished.

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The life span thing is a problem I don't like dealing with. Though that may be hypocritical since Irish is dying by the time Shadow starts. Think I should have him die early or be cured when the rehab takes place?
Cured, don't be hypocritical. You said you don't like Shoot the Shaggy Dog Story don't you

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The thugs are probably carrying small knives but nothing apart from that. What can rep candidates do outside of their suits in combat? Irish is useless since he was forced to disarm and doesn't have the skull suit with him.
Note that while MOST rep is at least knew self-defense, some are plain pathetic (such as Cecilia).

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Also, Charles in Future Imperfect is Charlotte and Ichika's future son. Any idea of activites apart from the kid telling them to play House?
Aside from toyshipping Charles with (technically) his half-siblings....no...
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Old 2011-12-09, 04:40   Link #11929
HasuMasu
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Box - Any suggestions for my question a few posts up?
What have you got so far?
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Old 2011-12-09, 04:46   Link #11930
Eratas123
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@ Box. i just need some family themed bonding activities. Maybe trying to feed Charles or playing games with him like Horsey and Other kid games.

@ Senpai - Bisexual man-hater? Sounds unique! I just hope readers will receiver her well since she'll be falling under "remember the new guy" with the way you plan to introduce her. Also, Charles is already the rep candidate in canon, right?

I guess I'll just cure him but leave his androgynous appearance as a side effect. Problem later in life since any LI he picks will look like a Shotacon due to his barely changing appearance.

Maya's been shown to be a capable combatant, though. I'm not sure how physically strong she is though. Irish is probably going to get scared shitless of her once he sees what this "Harmless Pacificist" can do.

No family bonding ideas? It's a chapter to show the three of them bonding as a family before I go back to crack. Weirdly enough, the story is actually popular despite being poorly thought out
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Old 2011-12-09, 04:49   Link #11931
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Box. i just need some family themed bonding activities. Maybe trying to feed Charles or playing games with him like Horsey and Other kid games.

@ Senpai - Bisexual man-hater? Sounds unique! I just hope readers will receiver her well since she'll be falling under "remember the new guy" with the way you plan to introduce her. Also, Charles is already the rep candidate in canon, right?

I guess I'll just cure him but leave his androgynous appearance as a side effect. Problem later in life since any LI he picks will look like a Shotacon due to his barely changing appearance.

Maya's been shown to be a capable combatant, though. I'm not sure how physically strong she is though. Irish is probably going to get scared shitless of her once he sees what this "Harmless Pacificist" can do.

No family bonding ideas? It's a chapter to show the three of them bonding as a family before I go back to crack. Weirdly enough, the story is actually popular despite being poorly thought out
Sounds to me like you've already got it, how about Ichika trying to play catch then a picnic prepared by Charlotte?
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Old 2011-12-09, 04:53   Link #11932
Eratas123
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@ Box - Where will they have a picnic? It's not like they can leave the Academy.

@ Box and Senpai - Also, what do you want Maya's and Ichika's kid's gender and personality to be?
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Old 2011-12-09, 04:56   Link #11933
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Senpai - Bisexual man-hater? Sounds unique! I just hope readers will receiver her well since she'll be falling under "remember the new guy" with the way you plan to introduce her. Also, Charles is already the rep candidate in canon, right?
Bolded for truth, besides, neither Iori Senbei and Joshua O'Brien is canon, still there's a lot of foreshadowing and obscure cameos prior to their introduction (iori is mentioned in Chapter 8 before showing in chapter 11, and Josh has his obscure cameo first in chapter 11, Louise herself is as early as Char's very introduction in chapter 8 as well).

Some readers indeed will not catch those, but most of them so far is sharp enough to get the clues.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
I guess I'll just cure him but leave his androgynous appearance as a side effect. Problem later in life since any LI he picks will look like a Shotacon due to his barely changing appearance.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Maya's been shown to be a capable combatant, though. I'm not sure how physically strong she is though. Irish is probably going to get scared shitless of her once he sees what this "Harmless Pacificist" can do.
Maya could be excellent in Judo, if you're skilled enough (IRL even) you can throw a guy twice your size EASILY, raw strength isn't taken into account (Maya can be fairly strong for a woman, but not Chifuyu level strong ).

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No family bonding ideas? It's a chapter to show the three of them bonding as a family before I go back to crack. Weirdly enough, the story is actually popular despite being poorly thought out
That's how this fandom are. Where else you can find stories where the FLAT main character is fleshed out differently by each author.

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@ Box - Where will they have a picnic? It's not like they can leave the Academy.
Wait. they can't?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Box and Senpai - Also, what do you want Maya's and Ichika's kid's gender and personality to be?
Probably a little meek like her mother, but can be badass enough if sufficiently provoked (and you would not want him/her to be pissed). Gender... well, as per rule of funny, it's a male, and a dense chick magnet, cycle of karma FTW
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Old 2011-12-09, 04:59   Link #11934
HasuMasu
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Box - Where will they have a picnic? It's not like they can leave the Academy.

@ Box and Senpai - Also, what do you want Maya's and Ichika's kid's gender and personality to be?
IS Academy is an entire island you know.
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Old 2011-12-09, 05:02   Link #11935
demino_hellsin
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@eratas:
Outline 1:

Tatenashi and Ichika just finish a mock battle and head for the cafeteria for some food. Problem is there's only sushi left so the two make do with that. While eating, Tatenashi thinks of how she always approached Ichika since the beginning. She wonders how he'd react if she tried to be more innocent.

She imagines herself and Ichika eating as they are at that time and this time she's being all shy. She offers him a piece of sashimi and he brightens up and accepts. He offers to feed her as well as thanks and Tatenashi blushes while accepting the offer. A few repeats(if you want), then when Ichika offers back, the slice falls from the chopsticks to Tatenashi's cleavage. Both blush and Tatenashi says it's no big deal. She's surprised when Ichika leans in and retrieves the sashimi with his "MOUTH"! Tatenashi is trying to form words and then Ichika feeds it to her mouth-to-mouth. It somehow works into something between a french and assisted feeding D:

The two pull away, Tatenashi comments that it tasted good. Ichika replies the next one will taste better and he moves in again. Tatenashi wakes up and realizes Ichika stole her piece of sushi which was submerged in soy sauce after it slipped from her chopsticks. He comments that it would be a waste if she was just going to let it be overpowered by the sauce. She looks away and sighs, even while a bit flustered by her imagination, "Understand a girl's feelings a bit more.".


Outline 2:
Tatenashi is in class and is bored out of her mind. She's thinking to herself of what would be interesting that day, her thoughts go to Ichika. She remembers how he always acts around her which makes her smile a bit wider than it already is. She imagines how many guys would have killed to be in his position then and what would have happened if he was like any of those other guys she's played with. It would probably never happen she tells herself, though she finds it ashame because she feels strongly about him. She sighs.

Tatenashi opens her eyes and she's on a bed, she realizes that it's not her bed. She looks around and sees Ichika walking up to her with a bright smile on his face and a loosely buttoned uniform on him. He greets her and she greets him, he moves to kiss her and Tatenashi is alarmed but accepts it thinking he was teasing her. She's surprised when he sits beside her and points out that she hasn't dressed yet. Tatenashi is covered in only bedsheets and she blushes. She thinks to herself "Wow, didn't really think it'd go all the way.".

The two of them get talking, mostly about how things became like this(probably make Ichika say that he finally decided to reciprocate on the teasing and went things went "o~h!") and how things were going to be in the future. Tatenashi and Ichika are going to kiss but then Tatenashi remembers about Kanzashi and how her sister is also in love with Ichika, especially since the older Sarashiki basically shoved the young man onto her sibling. Ichika tells her not to worry since Kanzashi already gave them her blessings on their relationship. Tatenashi asks hopefully and joyfully if her sister is really okay with it. Ichika answers, "Well if she wasn't okay with it then she wouldn't have been with us the whole night.". Ichika points to a petite body underneath the sheets beside Tatenashi. The elder Sarashiki pales as she recognizes her younger sister equally naked as her.

Tatenashi comes back to reality with a start and gets scolded for it by the teacher.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For other things:

Sentou Asura(thanks zero!) is a conceptual design for a personal IS. It was never made real because the conditions the proposing country/company who were supporting someone said that they must become the japanese IS cadet representative for the first mondo grosso. Clearly she failed . The name of the machine stuck to this person however because of her fighting style. Only favoring a katana, never a machine that flies but still ravages the battlefield like a god of carnage and war.
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Old 2011-12-09, 05:05   Link #11936
Eratas123
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@ Senpai - Then again, I doubt the fanbase will mind either considering the fact that Louise is a smart, sexy, teasing female. If he was a male, you'd bet you'd be getting a lot of flack for her Josh gets a pass cause he's related to the Orimura's which excuses him by default.

Then again, Anime!Japan seems to excuse a lot of things Besides, in a sexist society like the IS one, I'm betting no one would look at a Shotacon case since the older one is female.

So Maya will be good in Judo then? Does Judo have any disarming techniques for knife fighters? Also, does being small grant you an advantage of breaking a hold? Not all of the guys are bags of muscle.

Nah, I just think they like the fact that there's a fic that teases all of the possible LI's. That and I guess it's the first of it's kind. Fangking was planning one but the kids were teenages who wanted to fight their Dad so it obviously wasn't Rom-com.

They can't leave since it's a school day.

The gender doesn't matter. the cute appearance and meek attitude are bound to get girls no matter what!
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Old 2011-12-09, 05:08   Link #11937
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@ Box - Is there a place where there's open fields? I bet I can use it for Cecilia and her daughter/son who can actually cook.

@ demi - Once again, PERFECT! I'll have to decide if I'm making a long arc like Laura's or a small one like Cecilia's. It's boggling my mind.
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Old 2011-12-09, 05:09   Link #11938
HasuMasu
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In between the buildings looks exactly like a park would, any one of those paths would do.

Then again there's also the roof.
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Old 2011-12-09, 05:17   Link #11939
demino_hellsin
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@era-era: aww... you're making me blush #>.<#

Anyway, I wish you luck on your venture and hope I was of assistance.
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Old 2011-12-09, 05:17   Link #11940
MeisterBabylon
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on my phone now, but argh, Vandam or xmas special?!
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