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Old 2011-04-28, 17:21   Link #101
Akashin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adorable plum View Post
Ok here is the new updated version of the first chapter. Liking it?

Spoiler for Chapter 1 - Last entry into her diary:
Holy wall of text. @_@

That aside, this is still really interesting. The diary entry is much easier to swallow when it's Homura's thoughts rather than Madoka's, and it actually sounds like thoughts she would have (we'll ignore the fact that Homura doesn't seem the type to care much for keeping a diary in the first place). The bit I bolded is the only serious problem I could have, since it really bugged me for some reason. I can only assume you mean tears, and while elaborate imagery is all well and good, sometimes tears are just tears.

Like most issues I have with things, though, this is probably more of a personal squick than criticism you should take seriously.
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Old 2011-04-28, 22:23   Link #102
Hagoshod
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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6928436/1/Bukis_Ladder

Do you guys think it was a good idea to change the title of this story from "Deliverance" to "Buki's Ladder"?

I just felt like replacing one random American thriller movie reference with another for some reason.
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Old 2011-04-28, 22:26   Link #103
Akashin
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Originally Posted by Hagoshod View Post
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6928436/1/Bukis_Ladder

Do you guys think it was a good idea to change the title of this story from "Deliverance" to "Buki's Ladder"?

I just felt like replacing one random American thriller movie reference with another for some reason.
Can't say I've heard of either movie, so I can't comment on the name change. Regardless of the name, though, it's a good story.
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Old 2011-04-28, 23:40   Link #104
Hagoshod
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Deliverance is a movie about banjos and psychotic hillbilly rape. Burt Reynolds is involved.

Jacob's Ladder is considered by many critics to be an updated version of the Tibetan Book of the Dead. It's about overcoming the "demons" that materialize from your anger, sorrow, and feelings of unfinished business when you die. It just seemed more in line with Madoka's themes to me. I'm not sure why.

Last edited by Hagoshod; 2011-06-17 at 21:04.
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Old 2011-04-28, 23:59   Link #105
Akashin
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Originally Posted by Hagoshod View Post
Deliverance is a movie about banjos and psychotic hillbilly rape. Burt Reynolds is involved.

Jacob's Ladder is considered by many critics to be updated version of the Tibetan Book of the Dead. It's about overcoming the "demons" that materialize from your anger, sorrow, and feelings of unfinished business when you die. It just seemed more in line with Madoka's themes to me. I'm not sure why.
The way you explain them, it's little surprise that Jacob's Ladder suits Madoka's themes better. <_<

That said, while a story about overcoming inner demons doesn't necessarily fit directly with Madoka as a whole, it definitely fits with Goddess Madoka and her overall role. Given the story in question, it's a pretty apt name.
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Old 2011-04-29, 03:21   Link #106
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Okay... this is a draft of the first chapter, but before reading one must be grounded in both NGE (especially its manga spinoff Campus Apocalypse) and PMMM to get the gist of this crossover. Since I've yet to receive some comments before I could finalize it and post it up to FFN, for now I'd like to share this:

Angels & Witches (Draft)

C&Cs are welcome, as this is work in progress.
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Old 2011-04-29, 17:35   Link #107
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I have a couple of ideas for a fic and I want to know what some of you think?

"Without A Trace" (working title) a story about a washed up ex-cop turned P.I. who is hired by the parents of a missing girl to find her. He stubbles in to the world of Magical Girls and Witches then discovers a traumatic memory form his childhood is also linked to all of it.

The other a crossover sort of like Super Robo Wars or Dissidia so I guess you could call it "Mahou Shoujo Wars" (also a working title) in this story Witch Madoka's Witch after being destroyed my Goddess Madoka has been reincarnated into a the first Dark Magical Girl and is planning to not only continue her goal of consuming Madoka's universe turning it into her own personal heaven but every alternate universe she cam fine. Goddess Madoka unable to stop her plans because she is currently on whole other plan of reality call on Magical Girls from different universe to help stop this ultimate threat.

So feed back?
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Old 2011-04-29, 18:22   Link #108
Akashin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Wing View Post
I have a couple of ideas for a fic and I want to know what some of you think?

"Without A Trace" (working title) a story about a washed up ex-cop turned P.I. who is hired by the parents of a missing girl to find her. He stubbles in to the world of Magical Girls and Witches then discovers a traumatic memory form his childhood is also linked to all of it.

The other a crossover sort of like Super Robo Wars or Dissidia so I guess you could call it "Mahou Shoujo Wars" (also a working title) in this story Witch Madoka's Witch after being destroyed my Goddess Madoka has been reincarnated into a the first Dark Magical Girl and is planning to not only continue her goal of consuming Madoka's universe turning it into her own personal heaven but every alternate universe she cam fine. Goddess Madoka unable to stop her plans because she is currently on whole other plan of reality call on Magical Girls from different universe to help stop this ultimate threat.

So feed back?
I can't say much about the second idea since I've never played Dissidia (which, based upon my limited understanding of Dissidia, this sounds notably like), but in theory it sounds awesome. Not sure how well it would go over if you introduce too large a cast, but barring the difficulty of working that out it sounds great.

The first one is one I'm hesitant to judge. The reason for that is mostly because I have precious little love for OCs; very rarely do I want to read about them, and even then I have trouble really caring about them. The idea sounds really interesting, but personally I can't say much more than that without delving into personal bias against OCs.

Edit: Upon reading, this sounds really negative. I didn't mean for it to sound that way, though--my bad. <_<

Last edited by Akashin; 2011-04-29 at 18:23. Reason: whoops
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Old 2011-04-29, 19:23   Link #109
Dark Wing
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Nah, it's okay I'm just going you know take a little more time to think on it...This is mostly some ideas that came to mind anyway.
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Old 2011-04-29, 19:47   Link #110
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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6815052/...dia_of_Witches

Here's a synopsis I wrote about Cossette d'Auvergne turning into a Witch. It's heavily based on the Picture of Dorian Gray, even though I don't know much Dorian Gray other than he was apparently kinda gay and



he was pretty cool in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I swear to god I'm the only person in the world who likes that movie.


http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6950329/...a_Magical_Girl

And here's a Timeline 1 story. Just because.


Do you guys like them?
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Old 2011-04-29, 20:05   Link #111
Akashin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hagoshod View Post
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6815052/...dia_of_Witches

Here's a synopsis I wrote about Cossette d'Auvergne turning into a Witch. It's heavily based on the Picture of Dorian Gray, even though I don't know much Dorian Gray other than he was apparently kinda gay and



he was pretty cool in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I swear to god I'm the only person in the world who likes that movie.


http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6950329/...a_Magical_Girl

And here's a Timeline 1 story. Just because.


Do you guys like them?
Yes. Yes you are. <_< That said...

Spoiler for Death of a Magical Girl:


Anyway, Death of a Magical Girl was great; depressing for reasons I expressed above, but great. I can't vouch for your other one since I'm avoiding fanon!Witches like the plague right now, though; way too jealous over my inability to come up with them myself. <_<
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Old 2011-04-29, 21:00   Link #112
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I can't vouch for your other one since I'm avoiding fanon!Witches like the plague right now, though; way too jealous over my inability to come up with them myself. <_<
Reborns Gundam isn't a fandom Witch. Sorta. You can read that entry.
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Old 2011-04-30, 11:56   Link #113
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I swear to god I'm the only person in the world who likes that movie.
I like it in advance for the very idea, but I never got to watch it.
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Old 2011-04-30, 14:16   Link #114
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Hey guys, guess who's secretly a Magical Girl and just never told anyone?

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6951347/..._Kazuko_Magica
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Old 2011-04-30, 15:54   Link #115
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Yeah, that was neat. Quite believable.
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Old 2011-05-01, 16:42   Link #116
adorable plum
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PMMM - Who knows time and who knows death

So I am coming back with the second chapter of the story I am envisioning. I am eager to hear feedback and criticism on language, grammer and plot please.

If someone would like to beta-read my story to help my quality of language I'd be delighted.

Without further delay:

Chapter 1: Last entry into her diary

Chapter 2: Creating truths
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If there are individuals who are unlike one another, it is certain that their fates are different as well. But what if, a collision occurred bringing individuals, very different from each other, together. Most likely, we think that these people, very unlike from one another cannot possibly be companions, friends, or even lovers for their fates will ultimately separate them in the end...
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Old 2011-05-01, 22:59   Link #117
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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6815052/...dia_of_Witches

Sam Neill-based Magical Girls.
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Old 2011-05-02, 16:09   Link #118
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What happens when one of the most self-proclaimed idealistic people writes a story in the universe of someone who can't write something idealistic (but is trying to)? That's a wonderful question, I'm not really sure what I wrote either.

Made up of about six different ideas, collected into one story and written in the span of a month, I attempt to maintain the content of the show, even as the feel becomes unusual.

Puella Sancta Marvelous Madoka
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Old 2011-05-05, 20:35   Link #119
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You ever had one of those times when something for a fic just comes into your head, and it's just a single, perfect little monologue?

I had one of those just now, for the fourth part of my crossover saga pet project. My brain will explode if I don't write it down and share ASAP, so here it is. o3o
Spoiler for just my rambling headcanon, don't mind me...:
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Old 2011-05-05, 21:10   Link #120
Akashin
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You ever had one of those times when something for a fic just comes into your head, and it's just a single, perfect little monologue?
Yes. A million times yes. I probably have half a million (it sounds like a humorous exaggeration, but if you were to pick apart my brain, it probably isn't) little plot bunnies floating around for that very reason.

As for the rest, isolated monologues have never done much for me (barring The Major's speech in Hellsing Ultimate ). That said, I did enjoy reading it despite that and, assuming this is an idea you intend to flesh out, I am immensely interested.
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