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Old 2011-06-05, 03:20   Link #361
Chaos2Frozen
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: The Moon that Wizard came from
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
There are two other legendary Middle-age swords - Excalibur and Joyuese. Jeanne holds Durandal, the sword of Roland, knight of Charlemagne and wielder of Joyuese.
Don't forget Cortana, the sword of Ogier the Dane.

"My name is Cortana, of the same steel and temper as Joyeuse and Durendal."
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Old 2011-06-05, 03:27   Link #362
MeisterBabylon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
There are two other legendary Middle-age swords - Excalibur and Joyuese. Jeanne holds Durandal, the sword of Roland, knight of Charlemagne and wielder of Joyuese.
You see, while Athra's blade is meant to be a mystery relic speculated to be Caliburn or however you spell it (I've chosen Caledfwech), Adara L. Reiniger, whom I have said plays the role of Lancelot in the round table of warriors named X-Butei, was supposed to wield Lancelot's weapon of choice as a plot-driving upgrade. There can't be 2 Arondites.

Furthermore, if Rey turnsout to be the Lancelot descendent, it again conflicts with the fluff I have already written for Adara. The character's tension against Athra and her role in the AthraJimAdara triangle depends on it.

The simplest fix is that Lancelot somehow lost his weapon and its possesion ended up with a pianist, possibly leading up to Adara claiming that weapon later. Or as I suspect will be better if I take your character in place of Adara (saving the Nanoha OCers some grief as well, since Adara was based on an OC related to Lancelot there). But that would mean either I modify Rey's character or change the prologue and the plot direction of my fic. And it'll also mean she will be involved in a tragic Arthurian romance.

Options are open to any of the ways, just asking which would you prefer and ensuring that informed consent is made.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen View Post
Don't forget Cortana, the sword of Ogier the Dane.

"My name is Cortana, of the same steel and temper as Joyeuse and Durendal."
Oh that's wielded by Athra's "friendly" rival based at Buckingham Palace.

...does this mean that the Queen of England is very... "rocking out"?
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Old 2011-06-05, 03:47   Link #363
Tempy
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You could just, ya know, ask SaintessHeart to swap his Arondight for a different sword, since your OC's backstory is kinda reliant on Arondight?

Like this:

SaintessHeart, would you mind changing your OC's sword for a different one? Perhaps Galatine, the sword of Sir Gawain, or maybe Gram, the dragonslayer?
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Old 2011-06-05, 03:50   Link #364
Chaos2Frozen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon View Post

Oh that's wielded by Athra's "friendly" rival based at Buckingham Palace.

...does this mean that the Queen of England is very... "rocking out"?
Somehow I knew this would come up

You're thinking of Curtana, the "Sword of Mercy" or "Edward the Confessor's sword", one of England's Holy swords.

Cortana on the other hand is a legendary sword of the French wield by Ogier the Dane which according to legend, bore the inscription "My name is Cortana, of the same steel and temper as Joyeuse and Durendal."

If you're interested to know, there's also a fourth sword in that poem
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Old 2011-06-05, 04:02   Link #365
MeisterBabylon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tempy View Post
You could just, ya know, ask SaintessHeart to swap his Arondight for a different sword, since your OC's backstory is kinda reliant on Arondight?

Like this:

SaintessHeart, would you mind changing your OC's sword for a different one? Perhaps Galatine, the sword of Sir Gawain, or maybe Gram, the dragonslayer?
I just realized that Gawain or even a later descendent could've forked up seperate branches of the family tree, making them distant cousins, leaving the sword the only point of contention.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen View Post
Somehow I knew this would come up

You're thinking of Curtana, the "Sword of Mercy" or "Edward the Confessor's sword", one of England's Holy swords.

Cortana on the other hand is a legendary sword of the French wield by Ogier the Dane which according to legend, bore the inscription "My name is Cortana, of the same steel and temper as Joyeuse and Durendal."

If you're interested to know, there's also a fourth sword in that poem
Way to kill my rocking Queen Mother fantasy...

Ah Tristan's sword. It would be interesting for Athra to slowly gather up all the Matter of Britain descendents. Probably organized into smaller groups, but altogether the Round Table would be something in the 200s to 300s if legend is to be believed.
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Last edited by MeisterBabylon; 2011-06-05 at 05:32.
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Old 2011-06-05, 07:52   Link #366
Chaos2Frozen
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In a completely unrelated note; did anybody catch the BBC television series of the modern retelling of Sherlock Holmes? It's pretty stylish and worth it to check out Only three episodes are out... British television is funny that way... >.>



Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheba View Post

Support character - The She-Wolf

Spoiler for portrait:
Lol, moe for maiden with eyepatch ? But she's naturally a cute girl so pretty much she'll get alot of fans either way. For me, she's probably going to use Yukana's CC voice, that's always a plus point. For Ryoushi (You remember him?), things could get awkward considering that I've nicknamed him the [Hunter of Wolves]; originally it was mention for Ookami-san, but there's an opening to make things pretty fun.


1. My main character, Arisato Minato, would like to know if she's the type of girl who would try unusual things that "doesn't fall into her area of expertise"...? Those were his words, not mine.

2. Hmmm, Saito (the comic relief best friend), would like to know how would you rate her 'bullet-time' like ability when compared to Kinji's Hysteria mode?

3. Ada (The sexy one), would like to know if she would like to come over to try some of her Side Slit Evening Dresses... Innocently, I'm sure...

4. Fuyumi Raimei (The cute one), would like to know if she likes Platypuses or Hamsters? And whether she likes Yves- Wut?! You can't just ask people that!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron008R View Post
I can't believe I'm doing this... but oh well.

Name: Kyouko Z. Akechi
Spoiler for appearance:

WHHHHHAAAATTTTTTT?!?!? Even Aaron is here?! FUZAKENNA!


1. Ryoushi (The Dojjiko pure pure boy) wonders if he had seen her before somewhere...?

2. Saito (the comic relief best friend) would like to know if she's prone to say, and I quote, "Do you want me to teach you the Rules of Society" to her arrestees...?

3. Fuyumi Raimei (The cute one), would like to know if she prefers Manatees or hamsters... I swear this girl...

4. Ada (The sexy one), would like to know if she prefers black stockings or white stockings to go along with her zettai ryouki... And if she prefers to- Okay, this part I can't say without getting into trouble.

5. Siesta (The sweet one), would like to know if she likes to drink milk... Why would that be importa- OHHHHH... I see...



Quote:
Originally Posted by kct View Post
Ze sniper.

Spoiler for portrait:


1. Arisato Minato (Mysterious Silent Bishounen, Main Character Extraordinaire), would like to know if the rumors are true that large breasts would hamper one's markswomenship... Seriously?! That's what you're going to ask?!

2. Saito (the comic relief best friend) laments that there's another cute sniper girl out there... THAT'S NOT A QUESTION!!


3. Fuyumi Raimei (The cute one), would like to know if she prefers Sperm Whales or hamsters... I give up on this girl...


4. Ada (The Sexy one), would like to know if she's the type to buy cookies for the boy she likes, or does she prefers struggling to bake them at home herself?

Last edited by Chaos2Frozen; 2011-06-05 at 08:23.
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Old 2011-06-05, 08:51   Link #367
EagleBlue
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Any opinions about my OC? I'm a bit nervous since this is my first OC.

I have a question, Butei can take their chosen division with an elective division also, right?
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Old 2011-06-05, 09:01   Link #368
Sheba
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EagleBlue View Post
Any opinions about my OC? I'm a bit nervous since this is my first OC.
Nothing bad to say about it.
Quote:
I have a question, Butei can take their chosen division with an elective division also, right?
That's if the student feels the need for complementary skills.
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Old 2011-06-05, 09:06   Link #369
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Spoiler for Elective:
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Old 2011-06-05, 09:15   Link #370
Marcus H.
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So for example, Assault members can: take Snipe electives for focus training and accuracy improvements; Logi electives to drive vehicles efficiently; and Informa electives to be knowledgeable in using technology.

I suspect that what Aria has been doing after completing her academic units is taking electives.
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Autumn 2014: Log Horizon S2, Amagi Brilliant Park and Fate/Stay Night (2014).


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Old 2011-06-05, 09:35   Link #371
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Does your main spec affect what electives can you take? Or can you just go for all of them if you have the time?
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Old 2011-06-05, 09:38   Link #372
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Spoiler for Electives:
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Old 2011-06-05, 09:41   Link #373
SaintessHeart
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon View Post
You see, while Athra's blade is meant to be a mystery relic speculated to be Caliburn or however you spell it (I've chosen Caledfwech), Adara L. Reiniger, whom I have said plays the role of Lancelot in the round table of warriors named X-Butei, was supposed to wield Lancelot's weapon of choice as a plot-driving upgrade. There can't be 2 Arondites.

Furthermore, if Rey turnsout to be the Lancelot descendent, it again conflicts with the fluff I have already written for Adara. The character's tension against Athra and her role in the AthraJimAdara triangle depends on it.

The simplest fix is that Lancelot somehow lost his weapon and its possesion ended up with a pianist, possibly leading up to Adara claiming that weapon later. Or as I suspect will be better if I take your character in place of Adara (saving the Nanoha OCers some grief as well, since Adara was based on an OC related to Lancelot there). But that would mean either I modify Rey's character or change the prologue and the plot direction of my fic. And it'll also mean she will be involved in a tragic Arthurian romance.

Options are open to any of the ways, just asking which would you prefer and ensuring that informed consent is made.
I once read in a book that all of the swords for the knights of the round table are from the Lady of the Lake, and I chose Aerondight over Galatine (Gawain's sword, the knight who inducted Lancelot into the round table) because of the history of Lancelot's adultery - making it the perfect way of the sword being said not to be meant for men. Also, I dropped Galatine after finding out that Gawain is a player.

Her name is taken from the Ar Tonelico series, where girls have magic in their voices. I was thinking of Fragarach, but it's background it too dry.
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Old 2011-06-05, 09:52   Link #374
MeisterBabylon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
I once read in a book that all of the swords for the knights of the round table are from the Lady of the Lake, and I chose Aerondight over Galatine (Gawain's sword, the knight who inducted Lancelot into the round table) because of the history of Lancelot's adultery - making it the perfect way of the sword being said not to be meant for men. Also, I dropped Galatine after finding out that Gawain is a player.

Her name is taken from the Ar Tonelico series, where girls have magic in their voices. I was thinking of Fragarach, but it's background it too dry.
That doesn't explain anything. I still have no sword for Adara, or whether your character is in fact a descendent of Lancelot or Galahad.

Maybe Adara should get Galahad's sword, Gram instead. After all, before Keroko veto'd me, Noland did 'knock up' a certain 'dragon' to get his child. And to reflect Lancelot's player tendencies, his blade did not reach his legitimate descendent.
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Old 2011-06-05, 10:04   Link #375
SaintessHeart
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon View Post
That doesn't explain anything. I still have no sword for Adara, or whether your character is in fact a descendent of Lancelot or Galahad.

Maybe Adara should get Galahad's sword, Gram the dragonslayer instead. After all, Noland did 'knock up' a certain 'dragon' to get his child.
Gram belongs to Siegfried, from the Norse myth where he slew the dragon Fafnir with it.

Out of all European myths, I hated Siegfried the most because he is way too overpowered, hard to tell a story like that. Even Beowulf got toasted by a dragon.

Galahad's sword had no name, but legends stated that it was a "destiny finder" - Galahad's pure heart enabled him to find the holy grail, which Aerondight's owner could only get a glimpse of.

More details of the Arthurian swords can be found here. I am renaming the sword "Grace" - you can take Aerondight and the runes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
We should add more older characters.

Name : Reyvateil Rivia Tchaikovsky
Nationality: Polish, Russian/English Ancestry
Age : 19
Butei Rank: B
Ancestor: Pyotr Tchaikovsky, mysterious past ancestry
Department: Medica
Bloodline Ability: Gold eyes that are able to see in the dark, an ability to lower blood pressure and calm nerves through singing/chanting
Weapon: A silver-bladed sword named "Grace"
Friends: Ayari/Kanari, Karla, Reisen, Meikyo, Alicia

A fresh graduate from the French Butei Academy, she is under an internship as she intends to earn a medical license in the future. However, due to Ayari and Alicia's plan of setting up a "bungee-jumping" club in school, she was drawn into the fray as there will always be students injured during training despite all safety precautions.

Considered to be Meikyo's nurse and the school's health counselor, she has rather inhuman traits. She claims to be stuck at the age of 18 for the rest of her life because her cells do no deteriorate when sub-dividing, but she may suddenly die after the age of 40 due to an ancestral genetic disorder. Not only that, she is able to see perfectly in the dark without a light source or NV equipment.

The most mysterious thing is that she holds as a weapon : Grace. She says that the sword is not meant to be for men as "it is a symbol of beauty and gracefulness". True enough, it seems that the make and the construction of the sword is meant to be lightweight and having a thinner grip, more fit for a lady than a man, despite being tested to be from the middle ages. However, despite its age and supposed "flimsiness", it is still a sword of perfect quality, and in wind or rain, it is able to resonate sounds to confuse opponents from where the direction of the sword is coming from. Also, the silvered blade of the sword allows Reyva to redirect the sunlight into her opponent's eye, allowing her to close in with ease; at night or under low-light conditions, the sword swings leave afterimages to confuse opponents as to where the blade is coming from. The final unusual quality of the weapon, is despite its weight, it floats on water.

However, it seems that the blade may not originally be named as it is. When replacing the grip, Karla and Reisen had found a set of rune inscriptions on it spelling ᛚᛟᚻᛖᚾᚷᚱᛁᚾ, translated as "Lohengrin", the name of the legendary Knight of the Swans from the middle ages. How had the sword survived so long, and how did it end up in her hands? This is something that she doesn't know herself, other than it was handed to her by her parents in her second year in the French Butei Academy.

Outside of work, she is generally a carefree and gentle young lady, though she doesn't take sides when it comes to solving conflicts between people. She claims that the bungee jumping mystery is the first time she has ever taken a side as "the buffoon on the boat and the drunk party animal aren't doing their jobs as guardians of the two girls".
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When three puppygirls named after pastries are on top of each other, it is called Eclair a'la menthe et Biscotti aux fraises avec beaucoup de Ricotta sur le dessus.
Most of all, you have to be disciplined and you have to save, even if you hate our current financial system. Because if you don't save, then you're guaranteed to end up with nothing.

Last edited by SaintessHeart; 2011-06-05 at 10:23.
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Old 2011-06-05, 10:15   Link #376
Chaos2Frozen
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Join Date: Nov 2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EagleBlue View Post
Any opinions about my OC? I'm a bit nervous since this is my first OC.
I think You need to make your character stand out more; he's too normal. Give him a quirk or two, or put a new spin on a know stereotype.
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Old 2011-06-05, 12:34   Link #377
Terminator98
Archangelic Demon Vampire
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Mauritius
Age: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by kct View Post
Ze sniper.

Spoiler for portrait:


Name: Tomomi Okamura
(Theoretical) VA: Mai Nakahara
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Height: 157cm
Division: Snipe (Assault as elective)
Butei Rank: A
Ancestor: A bit of an obscure German Wehrmacht sniper from World War II (her grandfather)
Equipment: Remington Model 700PSS bolt-action rifle (long-action version), Glock 26 handgun, Simonich Raven Combat knife
Hehe, lots of snipers running around... Gonna be tough to decide who Alexandra's gonna employ whenever her team's gonna need one... I guess the friendlier the better.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen View Post
Tohyama Kinji and my OC, Arisato Minato goes on their first mission (of sorts) which starts with a quick interrogation and ends in a fiery car chase! Quick oneshot and character introduction In case people forgot, this is what he looks like


For some reason, Minato's acting SO MUCH like Jason Statham in some of his movies... I don't know, I just have that image of that mean bad mofo out there kicking people's sorry butts... But yes, this is a younger version with more mercy. He's also smarter.

But the Persona Minato's gonna come and get you if he knows what you made him become...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron008R View Post
I can't believe I'm doing this... but oh well.

Name: Kyouko Z. Akechi
Spoiler for appearance:

Nicknames: Kyou-chan, Kyokkyun, Omawari-chan (Police-chan)
Gender: Female
Age: 16
Occupation: Butei High 1st year student
Butei Ranking: B
Eyes: Hazel
Hair: Brown, usually in a ponytail
Primary Department: Inquesta
Elective: Amdo
Usual wear: Butei uniform
Specialization: Criminal investigation and apprehension
Equipment:
  • 1 modified Colt OHWS (Affectionately named the Aya Hiraga Custom, not that Kyouko ever uses the name)
  • A set of jitte Here's a wiki about them
  • Handcuffs. LOTS of them.
Theme Song: 一気に決めるゼ! (- Which is Decided at a Stroke!)
Spoiler for theme song:
I die in moeness and charm. A MUST CHARACTER TO FEATURE FOR ANY FICS.

But yes... she looks familiar. (If it wasn't for Meister's shopping requests, could've changed her uniform color to the Tokyo Butei High one. Maybe after.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheba View Post

Support character - The She-Wolf

Spoiler for portrait:


Name: Kaede Fujita nicknamed The She-Wolf of Butei
(theorical) VA: Yukana
Nationality: Japanese
Age: 17
Class: 2nd Year
Butei Rank: A
Ancestor: Goro Fujita
Department: Inquesta (Assault elective)
Bloodline Ability: Atemporal Sight
Weapon: A katana and a M1911 pistol
Friends: Yves Brunet, Nene Otonashi and Yasmin Saif.
Another sword maiden, another rival. Plus she's got Laura Boedwig special mode.
But her fears and all... makes it weird for a wolf type character. Oh well, variation, variation!



---------


Now, concerning the other stuff.

Ok... to help the sword thing. There's also Almace, another french sword that was given to Charlemagne, or Olivier's sword, Hauteclere

If you want magical swords all around, you also have the VorpalSword. Being an unknown sword, you can just give it all the powers you want. :P

There's also Damocles sword that could signify terror...

In legendary swords, I already claim Crocea Mors, Julius Caesar's sword that was said to kill anyone with one hit... of course, what is this doing in a Butei's inventory... we're gonna see later. I also already claim a sword that has a fragment of Kusanagi in it... the unseen imperial treasure of Japan, and gives its wielder or exponentially enhances her wind powers.


Hell, here's a good list of legendary weapons: List Of Magical Weapons (Non Exhaustive)

Yeah... I'm overhauling all my OCs. The lead male OC and lead female OC also got their portrait changed, to something more... fitting. The story is welding itself together. The next post should contain all my updated OCs, as well as a prologue..

Quote:
Any opinions about my OC? I'm a bit nervous since this is my first OC.
Looks good. As chaos said though, you might want to take some time and flesh his portrait out a bit more, make him more "unique".

But I myself keep overhauling my OCs so that they reach their uniqueness... so I shouldn't really be talking here... XD
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Old 2011-06-05, 13:19   Link #378
Terminator98
Archangelic Demon Vampire
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Join Date: May 2009
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Age: 21
Little spoiler of the upcoming modifications... home-made poster starring the two main chars, as well as the title that I finally came up with.

Spoiler for THE BISHOUJO AND BISHOUNEN ARRIVE!:


Yes, that's Alexandra's and Kyousuke's remade portraits. Much better fitting imo.
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Old 2011-06-05, 14:17   Link #379
Saint X
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart
Name : Reyvateil Rivia Tchaikovsky


Her name is taken from the Ar Tonelico series, where girls have magic in their voices. I was thinking of Fragarach, but it's background it too dry.
I can't help but make this scene:

Spoiler for This might be partly strangely familar to any tower runner:


I wonder if there is a sort of "addiction" to the powers of Irokane that removing it would cause withdrawal in a person?

Last edited by Saint X; 2011-06-05 at 14:33.
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Old 2011-06-05, 14:22   Link #380
Icy.Tear
二人は独自の世界を展開
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Spoiler for Volume 7:
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