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Old 2012-02-03, 23:16   Link #61
Kogetsu Shirogane
Giant Doughnuts for All!
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
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Having managed to have watched a few more episodes this week, I thankfully won't have any problems with the main route. As long as I make sure to keep ahead, that is. On a related note, even if it wasn't for my sake, I do appreciate others using spoiler tags for discussing matters that come up later in the series.


This next part is largely irrelevant to the main point of this post, so I'm putting it behind spoiler tags.
Spoiler for choices, basically:



An interesting update, to say the least. I'm actually curious as to how Homura being more directly cooperative will change things, beyond the obvious change in Sayaka remaining normal. Good update, and the additions made are quite interesting. So next is Mami Lives, correct? Let us see if I can keep going back and forth as skillfully as you seem to be.

To go along with what Sol had said in the post before this, please keep going with this. At the very least, I can say that this is a large part of why I did what I mentioned at the start of this post.
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... that's... not a doughnut...

Last edited by Kogetsu Shirogane; 2012-03-17 at 15:04. Reason: ... whoops? Embarassing error was embarassing. XD
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Old 2012-02-04, 00:24   Link #62
Triple_R
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sol Falling View Post
Interesting stuff. One advantage of reading this fic here over playing the VN (though I still plan to do so, of course) is that we'll get to see the whole story play out in one go. Even though I opted into the Mami lives route, this chapter was fascinating too and I plan to keep up with all of them.
That's good to know. I get the impression that most readers successfully saved Mami, which I feared would make the "Main Route" seem a bit pointless. I'm glad that isn't the case!

Quote:
I like how you brought in some added depth to the story with Madoka's thoughts in the narration. I remember there were complaints about Madoka not explicitly voicing the possibility of resurrecting Mami in this episode, although I thought Madoka's thoughts on the idea were clearly conveyed through her fear and her guilt, so it was good to see those thoughts fully laid out in this version of the story.
Thanks. I agree with you that it's good to see Madoka's thoughts here fully laid out.

Quote:
I'm gonna throw out another guess based on all the harem jokes we've been mentioning lately, but could "HS" possibly stand for Homura + Sayaka? lol.
Yes, that's basically what it stands for, lol.

Quote:
Keep it up!
Thanks! I hope to have the next Mami Lives Chapter up sometime this weekend.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane View Post
An interesting update, to say the least. I'm actually curious as to how Homura being more directly cooperative will change things, beyond the obvious change in Sayaka remaining normal.
Don't worry. I already have some ideas plotted out here.

Quote:
Good update, and the additions made are quite interesting. So next is Mami Lives, correct? Let us see if I can keep going back and forth as skillfully as you seem to be.
Thanks! And yeah, Mami Lives is next.
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Old 2012-02-05, 04:42   Link #63
night_sentinel
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Thanks again Triple_R for the update. Though it isn't the route that I'm following I like how the canon route is going.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Triple_R
1) Mami Lives, Madoka enters into a romance with Mami

2) Mami Lives, Madoka does not enter into a romance with Mami.

3) Mami Dies, Sayaka becomes a magical girl (i.e. the same as the anime)

4) Mami Dies, Sayaka relies on Homura
So there will be basically 4 major routes to follow. Since this is technically a VN, can I make 4 saves so I can follow all the routes and reach 100% completion?

And choice HS means Homura+Sayaka?!! There really is a harem end? Or at least one where more than one girl will fall for Madoka?
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Old 2012-02-05, 07:41   Link #64
Kimidori
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Sorry for being late again, v0.4 with chapter 4 and 5 is done! download below. Chapter 6, 7 and Mami 1 will be adapted in v0.5
Code:
http://www.mediafire.com/?atkx5w5k931y8a5
unfortunately, the save file type i programmed in v0.3 become incompatible after i made some change in the code so i have programmed a new save file type in v0.4, this new save file type will compatible with all future version however the code change. sorry for the inconvenience.

oh and Triple_R, can you put the VN into the first post so people don't have to browse to page 4 to see the new version?
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Old 2012-02-05, 19:23   Link #65
Asuras
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Wow, this must be getting a bit complicated for you Triple, what with the multiple branches now.
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Old 2012-02-06, 22:49   Link #66
Triple_R
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Mami Lives Chapter 2


Mami Romance Chain

“I'd love to go out on a date with you.”


That's the response I gave Mami when she asked me if I was Ok with the two of us going out on a date. At the time, there was no hesitation in my response. In fact, I was very eager to give it! But now, having slept on it, and while sitting upon my bed, my chest felt heavy and tight.

I love Mami. I felt this deeply within me. But was this course of action wise of me? Was I allowing my emotions to get the best of me, and cause me to make rash decisions?

As much as I love Mami, I've only known her for such a short time. I'm usually more careful and cautious than this, but then, it's also not everyday that I meet an actual magical girl!

Still, Mami had said that being a magical girl was tough. She said that it meant you wouldn't have time for boys or hanging out with friends. That seemed contradictory to what Mami and I were planning to do today.

'Are you worried about Mami?' Kyubey asked me, telepathically.

'Yes' I replied, 'Is it really Ok what we're doing, Kyubey? Is it really Ok if Mami and I become very close like this?'

'That's up to you and her.' Kyubey replied, 'It's not unprecedented for a magical girl to mate with a normal human. Some magical girls have even entered into marriage arrangements with normal humans!'

'I guess it's Ok then.' I stated, making a slight smile over Kyubey's reassuring words.

'But if you want to know my opinion on it, Madoka' Kyubey continued, 'I think it would be best if you were to become a magical girl yourself. That way, you and Mami would not be divided by your different statuses. Your bond would be strengthened!'

'I'll keep that in mind.' I replied to Kyubey, before getting lost in my own thoughts again.

Kyubey had a point. It would probably be best if I became a magical girl myself. That would enable me to help Mami more, and it would probably make me feel more comfortable about my relationship with Mami. But since I promised Mami that I wouldn't become a magical girl without giving it a lot of thought and talking it over with her, I would put off becoming a magical girl at least for now.

There's one thing I couldn't put off any longer though.


“Hey, mama” I state, while I brushed my teeth alongside her after we both ate breakfast, “There's something I'd like to ask you.”

“What is it?” she responded.

“Well, I'd like to know what you think of... lesbians.” I asked.

Mama rarely hesitated, but she did so briefly here while she made eye contact with me.

“Do you ask because one of your friends confided in you that she's a lesbian, or do you ask because you think that you're a lesbian?” mama asked in turn.

“W-well I-I...” I started stammering in response, not wanting to lie to mama but also not wanting to fully reveal everything yet.

“It's nothing to be ashamed about.” mama answered, “If one of your friends is a lesbian, then I don't think you should end a friendship with someone for that reason. Now if you think that you yourself are a lesbian, I'm fine with it, but it's something I want to know.”

“I-I think I am, yeah.” I responded.

Mama could tell that I was afraid of how she might react to that. My posture was defensive and uneasy. Mama placed one hand on my shoulder.

“Madoka, it's fine, really.” mama said to me, while making a slight smile, “It's not like I'm completely surprised. I've had my suspicions. ...Is it Sayaka?”

“Sayaka?” I asked in a sincerely perplexed tone.

“I guess not then.” mama replied to me, “It's not the upperclasswoman that recently invited you over, is it?”

Oh. So mama is trying to determine which specific girl it is that I might be romantically attracted to!

“Well, ummm...” I began in uneasy reply.

“It is, isn't it?” mama asked.

“Yeah...” I confirmed.

Mama sighed a bit over that.

They grow up so fast...” Mama said, under her breath, before addressing me directly again, “Well, it might be good that you're experiencing something new. Whatever relationships you choose to make for yourself, I'm fine with them. But just keep in mind that first loves, of any sort, rarely work out. It may be unfortunate, but it's true.”

By the time she had finished speaking to me, mama had already finished freshening herself up, and she had to get going to work.

“Anyway, we can chat about it later if you like.” mama said, “I have to get going now. See ya!”

Talking with mama about it made me feel a lot more at ease. It was like a great weight lifted from off my shoulders! Between my discussions with Kyubey and my mama, I now felt ready to enjoy my date today with Mami-san. First though, I had to get through the school day.


I met up with Hitomi and Sayaka at the usual spot, and they thankfully both seemed to be in good spirits this morning. But Sayaka was talking to Hitomi about all sorts of school gossip. It was like she was trying to hide something from Hitomi. I didn't feel that talkative though, so I just went along with Sayaka dominating the conversation all the way to school.

During Biology class, Saotome-Sensei gave a lecture on on the ideal age for reproduction and marriage. It occurred to me that, as a lesbian, reproduction isn't something that would occur for me without artificial means. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. On the one hand, I liked the idea of having a child of my own, but I didn't have much confidence in my ability to be a good mother. Perhaps it's best that I may never have to even think about it.

I had intended to thank Homura for saving Mami, Sayaka, Kyubey and I, but I noticed she wasn't in class today. I hope that she was Ok.


Come lunch break, Sayaka and I went to our usual spot on the pure white rooftop of the school. Daytime weather has been exceptionally beautiful lately, with one bright sunny day after the next after the next. This seemed so very appropriate to me given how sunny my heart had become thanks to Mami...

“So I guess you're all pumped up for your big date, huh?” Sayaka asked with a slight teasing grin.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked, with an embarrassed grin.

“Only to me.” Sayaka answered, “I'm probably the only one who knows about it other than you and Mami.”

“I know we discussed this a bit yesterday” I began in question to Sayaka, “But are you truly Ok with all of this?”


If you chose A for Choice 1, read Section MC1A. If you chose B for Choice 1, read Section MC1B. If you chose C for Choice 1, read Section MC1C.


Spoiler for Section MC1A:



Spoiler for Section MC1B:



Spoiler for Section MC1C:



“It might be best if we kept this all private from Hitomi.” Sayaka said, “About you and Mami, I mean. I really don't like doing that, but Hitomi considers that sort of love between girls to be 'forbidden love', so...”

“You're probably right.” I responded, with a bit of sadness.

“Just for now, of course.” Sayaka said, “We won't be able to hide it forever.”

“Right.” I replied, “I feel a lot better now after we talked about all of this!”

“I'm glad I could help.” stated Sayaka, “Anyway, it looks like it's time to get back to class!”


The rest of the school day dragged a bit, as I felt a lot of anticipation welling up within me over my upcoming date with Mami. The fact I hadn't seen Mami since last night merely added to that anticipation. An intoxicating mixture of energy and relief washed over me when classes finally ended for the day!

Hitomi then met Sayaka and I at our lockers.

“Thanks a lot, Madoka!” Hitomi said.

“What for?” I asked.

“For recruiting for the Gardening Club.” Hitomi answered, “An upperclasswoman introduced herself to me earlier today, and told me that she intended to join the Gardening Club. She has such beautiful hair, and she's very polite and refined! When I asked her why she wanted to join, she explained that part of the reason is that you recommended the club to her. Her name is...”

Hitomi then noticed someone she had just recently met walking towards us.

“Oh, there she is right now!” Hitomi said, while turning around, and waving towards her, “Hi, Tomoe-san!”

Mami smiled slightly and waved back at Hitomi.

“What brings you over here?” Hitomi asked Mami, “Is there anything else you wanted to ask me about the Gardening Club?”

“Not at the moment. I'm here to meet up with Madoka.” Mami responded.

“It seems like the two of you have been friends for awhile.” Hitomi stated towards me, with a worried look on her face, “Why didn't you introduce me to Tomoe-san before?”

“Well, I... ah...” I began in uneasy response.

“They have some shopping they have to get to.” Sayaka quickly interjected, placing a hand on Hitomi's shoulders, “I plan to go visit Kyousuke, so I'm not going along with them. You're usually really busy with all sorts of stuff, so...”

“So it's just fine to leave me out all the time, huh?” asked Hitomi, a bit angrily, “Well, I feel jealous! I feel like even less than a fifth wheel now!”

And with that, Hitomi raced off in a huff.

Mami sighed a bit.

“I'm sorry about inadvertently hurting your friend's feelings, Madoka.” Mami said.

“Think nothing of it!” Sayaka interjected, “Hitomi has been like this a lot lately. You two just enjoy yourselves, Ok? I'll see you later!”

Mami and I then waved goodbye to Sayaka.

I then felt Mami discreetly take hold of my hand. I think that my heart skipped a beat over just that! I guess it was the knowledge that what I had been looking forward to all day was at last about to start.

“I was thinking it would be nice if we started with a walk through the nearby park.” Mami said softly towards me, so as to not draw any attention, “I haven't had a chance to enjoy it much as my magical girl responsibilities frequently cause me to patrol different areas of the city. But if going for a walk through a park seems dull to you, we can...”

“No.” I quickly replied, “A walk through the park sounds like a nice, relaxing way to start.”

“That's what I thought your take on it would be.” Mami responded, smiling warmly at me, “Well, let's go!”


It was the perfect day for a walk through the park. As we walked through it, I could see another reason why Mami had requested it. The park wasn't that crowded. It made me feel more at ease with walking alongside Mami, while we held hands together.

“I'm glad that Hitomi seems to like you.” I said to Mami, “But just so you know, I don't think Hitomi would approve of our relationship...”

“Don't worry.” Mami responded, “If you're a magical girl for very long, you learn how to be discreet, and maintain strict confidentiality.”

“Mami, there's something I want to ask you, but it's a bit personal.” I asked her.

“I can't think of a better time to ask a personal question than during a date.” said Mami, “So feel free to ask me anything.”

“Well, how long have you known that... you like girls more than boys?” I asked.

Mami narrowed her eyes, and gazed off, while she thought carefully on that question.

“I became good friends with another girl when I was only six years old.” Mami began in answer, “The two of us were best of friends for a long-time. As I gradually matured and grew older, I started to realize that my feelings for her went beyond simple friendship. I also noticed that, for whatever reason, I wasn't attracted to boys. From some of the books I had read, I learned what this meant about me. By the time I was 11, I knew what my leanings were.”

“What happened between you and your friend?” I asked, feeling deep concern for her.

“I...” Mami began in response, “Well, let's just say that my friendship with her ended after she learned what my feelings for her were.”

“That... that's so sad.” I said, as I felt tears start to form in my eyes.

But Mami then stopped, and turned about so she was in front of me, and looking me in the face. With one hand, she gently wiped the tears out of my eyes. With her other hand, she lightly ran her fingers through my hair. There was such a soothing warmth to her gestures and movements.

“There's nothing to be sad about.” She said to me, “It's true that I was ostracized by many of my peers once it became known that I was a lesbian. Oh, nobody was foolish or rude enough to make it plainly known that this was why they were avoiding me, but I could tell. But that's all in the past now. Sayaka has taken the news of our relationship very well. You, and hopefully I as well, have an invaluable true friend in her that won't turn away from us because of who we are. But most importantly, Madoka, we have each other.”

Mami then placed her hands on my shoulders and leaned forward to kiss me on my forehead. Mami was so patient, forgiving, and kind. I felt so happy over being as close to her as I now was!

“Why don't we take a short rest under that tree?” Mami asked, “I'd love to treat you to a lapnap!”

“Sure.” I replied.

And with that, I rested my head on Mami's lap. It felt so good! Part of me wanted to stay like this forever...

__________________________________________________ _____________


Mami Friendship Chain

Given Mami's close brush with death yesterday, I was glad that today was proving to be relatively uneventful.

I had a really tasty breakfast of fried eggs, and a very normal day at school as all of the commotion of a new transfer student joining us had died down a bit.

Speaking of Homura, though, she was absent today. I could only guess that she had taken the morning off to go hunting for Grief Seeds. I felt like I should be worried about her safety, but Homura showed yesterday that she can certainly handle witch hunts well! I hope I remember to thank her for saving Mami, Sayaka, Kyubey, and I when I see her again.

Once the school day ended, Sayaka and I said goodbye to Hitomi. I think that Hitomi just assumed that I was accompanying Sayaka to the hospital to visit Kamijo, so she was fine with breaking off from us for the rest of the day.

But Sayaka had actually changed her plans so that she could take in an afternoon movie matinee with Mami and me. Even though I had suggested it in jest, we all decided to go watch Burning Sisters together!


I thoroughly enjoyed watching the movie with Mami and Sayaka. We each enjoyed some popcorn, diet cola, and Urobuchi chocolate bars during the movie. Urobuchi chocolate bars are very dark and bittersweet, but they come in neat twisted shapes, and they always leave me feeling very energized for some reason!

After walking out of the movie theater, the three of us talked about the movie a lot.

“Wow, I never knew that they could have so much nudity in an animated feature.” Mami said excitedly, “I can certainly see why most of the audience was male.”

“That's true, but you have to admit that the female characters in that movie rock!” Sayaka replied, “I particularly liked Karen! She's really strong and energetic! Which character did you like best, Mami?”

“The girl that played twister with the male lead. She seemed very sweet to me, and I like her style.” Mami responded, “It would have been nice if she had received more screen-time. Who did you like best, Madoka?”

“I thought the half-vampire brother was really cool.” I answered, “I can relate a lot to how much he cares about his family. He's often unsure of himself, but he always does the right thing. I'd like to be like that myself!”

“Be honest, Madoka, you just liked him for his great muscular body!” Sayaka said teasingly.

“No, that's not it!” I exclaimed in reply, “I-I really like how he's a heroic, self-sacrificing guy!”

“Is there anything you'd like him to sacrifice to you, Madoka?” Sayaka asked teasingly.

Sayaka!” I exclaimed in reply.

Mami and Sayaka started laughing loudly over that. I hated how people so often laughed at my expense. But I guess I should be happy that Mami's spirits seemed to be up after yesterday.

After leaving the movie theatre, the three of us walked down through a commercial area with a massive water fountain there. Much to my surprise, I saw Hitomi was walking next to it!

“Hitomi!” I shouted out, instinctively.

Mami became a bit startled by my shout.

“Mami-san” Sayaka said, leaning in towards her while pointing in Hitomi's general direction, “Madoka is calling out to that girl over there. She's a good friend of Madoka and I. Her name is Hitomi Shizuki.”

“How did practice go?!” I shouted out to Hitomi, as I raced towards her.

But as I came closer to her, I noticed that she had some sort of strange sticker on her neck. It was a lot like what that woman who threw herself off the roof had!

This made me turn back towards Mami.

“Mami, is that...?” I began in question.

“Yes, it's a witch's kiss.” Mami answered, as her face became grim, “You and Sayaka stay a short distance behind me. I'll trail your friend Hitomi to...”

“Mami, are you sure you feel up to it?” Sayaka asked, concerned for Mami's well-being, “I mean, given... you know...”

Sayaka had realized too late that she had raised a recent traumatic event that Mami probably would have been better off not being reminded of. Mami breathed a quick sigh.

“I won't lie.” Mami said, “I'm fearful of facing another witch so soon after what happened yesterday. But then, what kind of magical girl am I if I can't even protect the friends and loved ones of my juniors?”

Sayaka and I both became silent over that. We truly didn't know what to say to this. Both of us were concerned for Mami and Hitomi.

“Ok” Sayaka finally stated, “I don't have any sort of weapon with me, so unfortunately I won't be able to back you up.”

'You can back her up by becoming a magical girl!' came the sudden voice of Kyubey.

Kyubey had been with us this entire time, but entirely silent until now. So Sayaka and I were taken aback at his sudden, albeit repetitive, suggestion.

“... Maybe I should...” Sayaka stated, after a tense pause, while a fierce look of seriousness washed over her face, and she clenched a fist.

“No. Don't.” Mami said, “I can take care of this.”

“Just to be on the safe side” I said, tugging on Mami's sleeve, “Let Sayaka and I follow closely behind you! Then if worse comes to worse...”

Mami smiled warmly at me over that.

“Ok. That's fine.” She said, “But please be careful. And don't bother talking to people with a witch's kiss until the witch associated with it is killed. Their mind is not in a good place right now...”

Sayaka and I nodded over this. Mami then quickly transformed into her magical girl uniform.


The three of us trailed behind Hitomi, sprinting as softly as we could, while Kyubey perched himself on my shoulder. Hitomi was walking in a strange fashion, with her arms held out to the sides. It kinda looked like she was drunk.

It didn't take us long to realize, though, that Hitomi was not alone here. A large number of people were now walking in the same direction as she was, all heading towards a large abandoned warehouse. The ground was really misty!

We sneaked into the warehouse just before its door started to close. Thankfully, everybody there appeared oblivious to the presence of Mami, Sayaka, and me.

“This is really freaky.” stated Sayaka.

“Don't be scared.” said Mami, “The witch will make its presence known soon. Then I will defeat it!”

I could tell that Mami was trying to reassure herself with these words. I hoped it would give her the confidence that she needs.

But I then noticed that some of the people in this warehouse were about to mix washing detergents that were very dangerous to mix! I thought back to what my mama had said to me about that, and I acted instinctively based on what she had told me.

“No! Don't do that!” I cried out.

But then Hitomi stuck out her arm to roughly halt me. Kyubey leaped off of me to come to a landing on the cement floor.

“You mustn't interrupt the holy rites.” Hitomi said to me.

“Don't worry, Madoka!” Sayaka shouted, “I'll stop them!”

Sayaka raced pass the crowd of people, picked up the water pail they were going to mix the detergents into, and she threw it out a window!

Mami then raced behind Hitomi, and pressed two fingers down between Hitomi's shoulders and her neck. Hitomi gasped, but then quickly fell to the ground unconscious.

“It's better if she's unconscious.” Mami said, as she carefully caught Hitomi's falling body, and lay her on the ground, “Madoka, I want you to take care of your friend. At the very least, I intend to save her! If I'm right, these people are about to act like zombies, and Sayaka will need my help!”

Mami was right, as she sprinted after Sayaka to save her from the people that were walking threateningly towards her. I never personally saw the ensuing fight between Mami and the witch, but Sayaka later described it to me in detail.

The witches barrier was like a bizarre theme-park contained within an endless chasm or sphere. Sayaka had floated about in there as though in zero gravity. Mami's magical girl powers enabled her to move more easily within the witch's barrier. A group of strange creatures that looked like crash-test dummies with angel wings and halos started to accost Sayaka, but Mami blew them away with her rifles!

But the witch's body was a flying TV screen! The TV screen displayed Mami's last fight with a witch, including Homura's criticism of her. This briefly caused Mami to freeze up while gritting her teeth in fear and shame!

“Don't pay attention to it, Mami!” Sayaka had shouted to her, “You can win this fight!”

“Thank you, Sayaka.” Mami said, after composing herself, “You're right. I will not lose here!”

Mami then removed her necktie, and twirled it about to form her gigantic glistening gun!

“This is it!” she cried, “TIRO FINALE!!!

Being on the receiving end of Mami's ultimate attack, the TV-screen witch was blasted into sparkling smithereens!

The witch's barrier then faded away. When I saw Mami and Sayaka return from it unharmed, I was so very relieved!

However, some of the people around us were groaning a lot, and in pain.

“I hate to leave them like this, but it would be better if they never learn of what truly affected them tonight.” said Mami, “That goes for your friend Hitomi too.”

“Will she be Ok like this?” I asked.

“I'll call the hospital.” Sayaka said, “I'll tell them that there's a medical emergency down here at this warehouse that needs their immediate attention.”

“That's a good idea.” Mami said with a smile.

While Sayaka left to make a phone-call, I turned to Mami.

“See, Mami, you've saved all of these people tonight!” I exclaimed to her with a smile, “You can still do a lot of good as a magical girl!”

I think my words actually made Mami cry a couple tears of joy.

“Thank you, Madoka.” said said, wiping away a tear, “You and Sayaka are very dear friends to me now.”

“Maybe all of us, including Hitomi, can one day spend some time together!” I said.

“I would like that.” said Mami, “I just hope she doesn't learn about how I had to forcefully put her to sleep!”

Mami and I then laughed a bit over the situation. It looked like things were going swell again, and I was very happy about that. But something bothered me a bit...

Kyubey had been extremely quiet lately, unusually so. I think he was very displeased by the current circumstances, by the fact that Sayaka and I were still far away from becoming magical girls. Mami now seemed opposed to Sayaka and I becoming magical girls, and I didn't want to go against both her and Homura. I think the same was true for Sayaka.

This left me feeling sorry for Kyubey, but also wondering what he might be planning to do about these circumstances that were unfavourable to him?

Still, this was just a passing concern. What had initially been an uneventful day turned out to be very fun and exciting! And it looked like Mami was back on her feet. I think I would be happy to support Mami this way forever. I have to admit that whatever romantic feelings I recently had for Mami had since faded into a simple friendship, but I was content with that.

But then as my mind thought back to Homura, to where she might be right now, I felt my chest become tight for some reason. I hope that she was Ok. I hope that I would see her again soon...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


And yeah, this is getting complicated.

If anybody picks up on a glaring plot hole, please tell me, and I will correct it with an edit if such correction is feasible at all.

Also, if this becomes too hard to follow, please tell me, and I'll 'hurry' one or more of the chains to simplify matters.


Anyway, hope people enjoy this update!
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Last edited by Triple_R; 2012-02-07 at 09:06. Reason: Not going to deny two Sayaka/Karen fans. ;)
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Old 2012-02-07, 00:12   Link #67
Sol Falling
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Join Date: Oct 2007
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Hmm, so we're mostly just playing out the effects of our previous choices for now, but wow, some interesting stuff here. In the first/Mami romance chain, Hitomi ran off upset and we didn't have the witch's kiss encounter--could this possibly mean that she'll be dead next chapter? And for the Mami friendship chain, which I'm personally following, the suggestion that Kyubey is displeasured with the current circumstances with that Madoka and Sayaka being unlikely to become magical girls is very ominous.

Madoka's conversation with her mother about being lesbian in the first section sparked a couple amusing thoughts for me. Although not necessarily unrealistic even if it isn't true, the reasonableness with which Junko accepted Madoka being a lesbian made me think of whether she had had any "yuri" experience herself. We do know, after all, that even within her actual marriage she wears the pants in the family (lol). I can easily see Junko's strong and assertive personality charming other girls.

On the girls' "Fire Sisters" impressions, or the movie sequence in general, that really felt so meta, lol. On the other hand, given the latest Nisemonogatari episode, I've actually been struck really hard with the parallels between Sayaka and Karen. The fact that they share the same VA is just icing on the cake. lol, I dunno if it's really worth it to change what's already written or if you also feel there's an opportunity there, but I feel there could be quite some humorous irony if it were actually Karen that was Sayaka's favourite character.

(Nadeko is a fairly interesting choice for Mami too. I actually find Hanekawa's personality and Mami's rather similar, but of course being 'similar' to a character doesn't necessarily mean you'll like them. Although incidentally, perhaps you just hadn't watched Nisemonogatari episode 5 yourself yet?)

Intriguing developments all around. Nice work; keep it up!
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HappinessCharge Precure 100/5 :: Stardust Crusaders 80/5 :: Mushishi S2 90/5 :: Akuma no Riddle: 15/5 :: Inugami-san to Nekoyama-san 24/5 :: GochiUsa 33/5 :: Soul Eater NOT! 18/5 :: Love Live! S2 80/5
Summer: Sailor Moon Crystal 20/5 :: Hanayamata 30/5 :: Locodol 30/5 :: Yama no Susume 100/5 :: Momo Kyun Sword 11/5
God-tier yuri oneshot mangaka: Minase Ruruu
Yuri Precure otaku manga: Shinozaki-san ki wo ota shika ni
Awesome shoujo manga: Last Game
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Old 2012-02-07, 02:25   Link #68
Kogetsu Shirogane
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It's most likely safe to assume I'm missing out on a joke or two due to not watching Nise, though at least I managed to take a bit of humor out of the audience of "Burning Sisters" being primarily male. Of course, I imagine my reason for finding it humorous was most likely unintended on your part. Beyond that, however, I did find it funny to see a bit of teasing between the three over who they liked.

Mami's Vulcan act when dealing with Hitomi was humorously random, yet somewhat appropriate. I was a little concerned that Madoka seemed a little too helpless in this particular scene compared to the way things went canonically, but then I realized she was most likely acting out of desperation in the series proper, which obviously wouldn't be happening if Sayaka and Mami were with her. I'd also like to point out it felt amusing to not-quite-see Sayaka in a bit of a role reversal in the actual witch scene. Quite an interesting twist, I must say.

Lastly for the path I've officially taken, I'm not quite sure if I made the right choice anymore. While the date hasn't gotten to the point the Mami Friend Zone route is at just yet... I have to agree with Sol that Kyubey's general reaction to Madoka and Sayaka's likelihood to not go PM is unsettling.



As for the actual date route, it's interesting to see Madoka's mother(Junko, is it?) take the knowledge her daughter is a lesbian so well. I'm not saying I disagree with your decision, as I actually think it's somewhat appropriate from what I've seen of her so far. It's just that it's interesting to me to see something like that scene. I'd also like to say her first guess of Sayaka was rather humorous to me, given how I've been going about things here.

More to the point, even though I've basically been flirting with certain individuals when the opportunity arises, I must say I actually find MC1A to be the most amusing of the three possible conversations in the top half. A one-to-three male/female ratio on a date generally brings to mind the heightened possibility of shopping being part of it, though I'd imagine this particular guy wouldn't be subjected to the dreaded bag-holding task, due to his condition. Of course, this is all simply musing on my part.

As for one last comment I have to make about any specific portion... someone really needs to give Mami a hug. While I'd imagine Madoka will do that and probably more in this particular storyline, if something happened to Mami in the past here, I believe it's safe to assume it happened everywhere else, and she doesn't quite have that luxury elsewhere.



I must say this was great. It should really go without saying at this point, but please, keep up the good work. Seriously.
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Old 2012-02-07, 05:28   Link #69
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Thanks for this batch of updates. I enjoyed reading the Mami Friendship Chain chapter, the way events unfolded in it turned out to be very interesting, all made possible by the presence of Mami and Sayaka's choice. Examples include Mami and Sayaka accompanying Madoka while following Hitomi, Sayaka throwing the chemical bucket out of the window and also Sayaka becoming H.N. Elly's would-be victim instead. The different turn of events make sense in the light of changed circumstances and are very believable, from my view. Well done.

On Kyuubey in this part, I find his silence unusual, but very interesting.
Spoiler for more on Kyuubey, may contain spoilers:


One comment I have about the Nisemonogatari reference is that while I liked it, I find myself in agreement with Sol over the parallels between Sayaka and Karen, for I see both as energetic, tomboyish girls, with a strong sense of justice and a tendency of getting into a lot of trouble. More so than Suruga, who while athletic and more than tomboyish herself, lacks the latter two traits shared by Sayaka and Karen, IMO. Me also being a huge fan of Eri Kitamura doesn't help, though.

While I personally chose to enter the Mami Friendship Chain, I also took the liberty of reading the main story chapter as well. Not only out of curiosity but also because of the fact that it would have been the route that I was supposed to take had I let my, uh, "mistakes" take its natural course. I have to say that while it closely followed the anime's narrative, and thus has little leeway for creative freedom, I still found it interesting, with the "Homura becomes Batman to Sayaka's Commissioner Gordon" section in particular catching my attention. Even the section title itself was thought-provoking. So, good work once again. Looking forward to the next batch of updates!
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Old 2012-02-07, 19:37   Link #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sol Falling View Post
Hmm, so we're mostly just playing out the effects of our previous choices for now, but wow, some interesting stuff here.
Thanks! I should point out that once you're into a romance route, the number of choices will decline a lot as "Affection Points" become less important. There will still be some choices even within a romance route, but they'll be more of those "Madoka ignores Kyubey's cries" type, that I can only fit-in at certain key moments here and there.

Quote:
In the first/Mami romance chain, Hitomi ran off upset and we didn't have the witch's kiss encounter--could this possibly mean that she'll be dead next chapter?
Good attention to detail! Within a chapter or two, you'll know.

Quote:
Madoka's conversation with her mother about being lesbian in the first section sparked a couple amusing thoughts for me. Although not necessarily unrealistic even if it isn't true, the reasonableness with which Junko accepted Madoka being a lesbian made me think of whether she had had any "yuri" experience herself. We do know, after all, that even within her actual marriage she wears the pants in the family (lol). I can easily see Junko's strong and assertive personality charming other girls.
This is a very interesting interpretation of the scene on your part. It certainly does fit what I wrote like a glove. So maybe I'll write a scene later on (either in that chain or a different one) confirming what you suspect here.

Quote:

On the girls' "Fire Sisters" impressions, or the movie sequence in general, that really felt so meta, lol.
I'm kind of disappointed that nobody commented on the Urobuchi chocolate bars joke, but oh well.

Quote:
On the other hand, given the latest Nisemonogatari episode, I've actually been struck really hard with the parallels between Sayaka and Karen. The fact that they share the same VA is just icing on the cake. lol, I dunno if it's really worth it to change what's already written or if you also feel there's an opportunity there, but I feel there could be quite some humorous irony if it were actually Karen that was Sayaka's favourite character.
And the change that both you and Coldlight requested has been made! I did have some reasons for thinking that Sayaka's favorite Nise character would be Kanbaru, but you and Coldlight have swayed me.

Quote:

(Nadeko is a fairly interesting choice for Mami too. I actually find Hanekawa's personality and Mami's rather similar, but of course being 'similar' to a character doesn't necessarily mean you'll like them.)
My thinking here is that Mami is naturally attracted (both for friendship, and romance) to girls like Madoka, and of the girls in Nise, the one most like Madoka is Nadeko.

Thanks a lot for the feedback!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane View Post
Beyond that, however, I did find it funny to see a bit of teasing between the three over who they liked.
I'm glad the bits of comedy are coming through Ok. As much as I loved Madoka Magica, I actually kind of missed that breezy "Three Musketeers" kind of camaraderie that Mami, Sayaka, and Madoka had prior to Mami's death, so it's nice to get to write some scenes where that camaraderie is able to continue.

Quote:
Mami's Vulcan act when dealing with Hitomi was humorously random, yet somewhat appropriate.
Glad you picked up on the Star Trek reference there! I also thought that it would be the most appropriate way for Mami to render Hitomi unconscious, yeah.

Quote:
I was a little concerned that Madoka seemed a little too helpless in this particular scene compared to the way things went canonically, but then I realized she was most likely acting out of desperation in the series proper, which obviously wouldn't be happening if Sayaka and Mami were with her.
Right. My thinking here was also that back when Mami, Sayaka, and Madoka went on "missions" together during the first three episodes, Madoka was usually the one 'hanging back' the most, with Mami obviously taking the lead and Sayaka chipping in a little bit of practical help. Madoka was typically moral support, and a convenient Kyubeymobile.

Quote:
I'd also like to say her first guess of Sayaka was rather humorous to me, given how I've been going about things here.
The rationale behind her first guess of Sayaka will become a bit more clear in the Sayaka route, I think. So keep that in mind later on in the narrative.

Quote:
As for one last comment I have to make about any specific portion... someone really needs to give Mami a hug.
I want to make it clear here that I certainly don't hate Mami. In fact, I like her a lot. But I will say one thing - I always found it odd that an attractive, charming, stylish teenage girl like her seemingly had no friends. One would think that she would have had somebody in her actual class at school to turn to after her parents died.

So I think the narrative frankly begs for an answer to "Why isn't Mami more popular, even to a normal degree?" Having most of her classmates ostracize her over sexual orientation fits decently well I think, and also works nicely to add some drama and heart to the Mami romance route.

Quote:
I must say this was great. It should really go without saying at this point, but please, keep up the good work. Seriously.
Thanks a lot! I hope to have another chapter up within a day or so.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldlight View Post
I enjoyed reading the Mami Friendship Chain chapter, the way events unfolded in it turned out to be very interesting, all made possible by the presence of Mami and Sayaka's choice. Examples include Mami and Sayaka accompanying Madoka while following Hitomi, Sayaka throwing the chemical bucket out of the window and also Sayaka becoming H.N. Elly's would-be victim instead. The different turn of events make sense in the light of changed circumstances and are very believable, from my view. Well done.
Thanks a lot! Glad you liked it. I was aiming for believable substitution, even so much as thinking back on my days of reading "What if...?" Marvel Comics. With diverging branches, you still have to account for canon events that ought to occur anyway.

Quote:
On Kyuubey in this part, I find his silence unusual, but very interesting.
Spoiler for more on Kyuubey, may contain spoilers:
My thinking with Kyubey is that he's like a good Poker player. He gets the most use out of his cards, but he knows when he just doesn't have the cards necessary to win. That doesn't necessarily mean that he's going to give up, though.

Quote:
I have to say that while it closely followed the anime's narrative, and thus has little leeway for creative freedom, I still found it interesting, with the "Homura becomes Batman to Sayaka's Commissioner Gordon" section in particular catching my attention. Even the section title itself was thought-provoking.
The section title itself isn't just a joke. Maybe a slight exaggeration, but I am aiming that way.

...Maybe somebody should design a Homura Signal.

Quote:
So, good work once again. Looking forward to the next batch of updates!
Thanks a lot!


I'm really enthused by the responses of all three of you. It gives me added incentive to keep plowing ahead.
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Old 2012-02-07, 20:09   Link #71
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Triple_R View Post
Maybe somebody should design a Homura Signal.
I may have an idea of what could be used to signal this particular Hero. At the very least, this could be used as an inspiration, should you find an artist.

Spoiler for Somewhere, after midnight...:
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Old 2012-02-07, 21:52   Link #72
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I'm kind of disappointed that nobody commented on the Urobuchi chocolate bars joke, but oh well.
Oh! I was meaning to point that out as well, as it was also amusing to me, what with all the "very dark and bittersweet chocolate" in "neat and twisted shapes", lol, but somehow it kept getting lost on me while I was writing and editing away at my post. Perhaps I got a bit too absorbed into commenting about the parallels between Sayaka and Karen, all the while with Eri Kitamura delivering their lines inside my head.
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Old 2012-02-08, 04:47   Link #73
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I'm really loving the Madoka x Mami fan-fiction. I'm a huge Mami fan, and as a writer myself, reading this is like a treat for my eyes. Mami's death in the anime really broke my heart, but reading this makes the Mami fan in me really happy.

I can't wait to read more romance chapters. I'm now a big fan of your work, keep up the great work.
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Old 2012-02-09, 00:30   Link #74
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Chapter 8

“Hitomi-chan! How did practice go?!”


That's what I shouted out to her after I noticed her walking by a massive water fountain in the middle of a commercial area. My recent discussion with Homura-chan had left me thinking that Homura is a friendly enough person, but it also left me regretful and sad over how much her and Mami had fought with each other. So running into Hitomi right now struck me as very fortuitous!

Hitomi is my closest friend, at least out of the people who didn't know about the world of magical girls and witches. So I thought that if I was to have a short chat with her, it might cheer me up a bit, and take my mind off of the dark troubles of recent days. Also, I know that Sayaka and I have been leaving Hitomi out a lot lately, and that made me feel a bit guilty. So here was a great opportunity to make it up to Hitomi, and also for me to raise my spirits some!

But as I came closer to her, I noticed she had some sort of strange sticker on her neck. It was a lot like what that woman who threw herself off the roof had!

Upon seeing that, I really wished that Mami-san was still here with us. Without a magical girl or even Kyubey with me, I felt very frightened over the idea of rushing into a situation that could lead me to a witch! But if Hitomi had been affected by a witch's curse, I felt that I must act on that to help out my friend!


Opportunity Choice 5

If you chose A for Choice 9, and if you never filled Sayaka in on the full story during Opportunity Choice 4 , you may now select B for this choice. Otherwise, you must select A. If you choose B, read Section OC5B. Otherwise, skip over it.

A) Help Hitomi!

B) Look out for my own safety.


Spoiler for Section OC5B:



I sprinted over to Hitomi, as I was deeply concerned over her given the sight of the witch's kiss!

“Hitomi-chan!” I exclaimed out to her, as I placed my hands on her shoulders.

But she seemed really out of it.

“Hey! Hitomi!” I shouted some more while shaking her a bit.

“Oh, Kaname!” She said in such a blissful tone, “Good evening!”

“What's wrong?” I asked, as I pulled myself in closer to her, “Where are you going?”

“Where? Well...” she began in answer, while holding her chin in one hand, “I'm going to a better place.”

A better place? The way she said it made me think she meant something like Heaven, or the afterlife in general. But that would mean that Hitomi would die!

“Hitomi...” I said breathlessly, freaked out at what she might be thinking of doing here.

“I know!” she said, as she brought her two hands together, “You should come too!”

“Yes, it'll be fabulous!” She remarked as she started to move past me.

I then decided to follow after her.


Read Section “Madoka Reflects on her Decision” if you filled Sayaka in on the full story during Opportunity Choice 4.


Spoiler for Madoka Reflects on Her Decision:



As I followed after her, I noticed her walking in a strange fashion, with her arms held out to the sides. It kinda looked like she was drunk. While I was determined to help Hitomi here, I also was not sure exactly how I should do that. What should I do?!

It didn't take me long to realize, though, that Hitomi was not alone here. A large number of people were now walking in the same direction as she was, all heading towards a large abandoned warehouse. The ground was really misty!

I thought about calling Homura for help. Oh no, I don't know her number! I smacked my head with a slight sense of guilty over not bothering to get it from her.

Everybody here, including Hitomi and me, walked into the warehouse. As I walked inside, I heard a very depressed man say “There's no place for me in this world.” I had a foreboding sense that these people were being affected by a witch trying to make them commit suicide! The warehouse door then shut behind us.

I then noticed that some of the people in this warehouse were about to mix washing detergents that were very dangerous to mix! I thought back to what my mama had said to me about that, and I acted instinctively based on what she had told me.

“No! Don't do that!” I cried out.

But then Hitomi stuck out her arm to roughly halt me.

“You mustn't interrupt the holy rites.” Hitomi said to me.

“But that's dangerous!” I exclaimed, while reaching out my arm towards where the washing detergents were.

“Everyone here will die!” I shouted at Hitomi.

“Yes!” she excitedly replied, “We're all going on a journey to a wonderful new world!”

“Don't you understand how great it will be?” she asked in rhetorical question, while moving in very theatrical gestures and taking hold of my hand, “Our living bodies only hold us back. You'll understand very soon now.”

I felt frenzied fright take over my chest at the sound of Hitomi's deeply disturbing words. And yet, many of the people around us started applauding what she had just said!

It was then that I realized that these people, including Hitomi, were unfortunately beyond the point of being reasoned with. I had to take decisive action. Now!

“Let me go!” I screamed, as I broke free from Hitomi's hold.

Breathing very loudly, I raced through a crowd of people, and made my way to the water pail that a woman was about to mix the washing detergents into. I picked up the pail before she could do that, and I sprinted off with it as fast as my legs could carry me! I then hurled it out the window!

I then stopped to catch my breath, as I took in large breaths and tried to calm my senses. But when I then turned around, everybody else here looked at me as though they were entranced! They started walking towards me like zombies wanting to consume me!

I frantically searched about the room I was currently in to find a way out. Thankfully, I stumbled across a door knob, and so I hurriedly pushed in through the door attached to it. I forced the door back against mounds of bodies and hands pushing against it! I then locked the door.

By this point, I was entirely panic stricken!

“What do I do?!” I screamed out, questioning myself.

But then, as I turned around, I noticed this big blue blob of ectoplasm moving towards me, and making the freakiest of sounds! I slowly back away from it while it seemed to be speaking backwards to me!

“No!” I cried out to it.

But it was too late, as a bunch of weird televisions suddenly appeared behind me, and tiny men that looked like crash-test dummies with angel wings and halos came out of them! They started to swarm around me, and take rough hold of me. It felt like they were trying to tear me apart.

“No!” I shrieked, “Somebody save me! SOMEBODY!!”


It then felt like I was literally ripped into pieces. A flash of light and several stars were the next thing I saw. The next thing I knew it felt like I was floating about in zero gravity. I was clearly inside of a witch's barrier. It was like a bizarre theme-park contained within an endless chasm or sphere.

But this theme-park gave me no amusement, only guilt and self-loathing. I thought to myself that this must be punishment.

As I floated about it, against my will, I saw TV screens perched upon the backs of Merry-Go-Round horses. They were displaying scenes of my life since I had learned about the world of magical girls and witches. In them, I saw Mami again, crying.

I had failed Mami. I should have been strong, when I had the chance. I should have become a magical girl, and wished Mami back to life. But I didn't. I didn't because I'm a crybaby and a liar. And so now I'm being punished for my dishonesty and weakness.

I felt cold hands grip each of my four limbs. They started pulling me apart, in all directions. I was stretching out as though I was made out of some sort of putty! It hurt so much! I felt that this would be the end of me.


Read Section “Na na na na na na na na... H-Chan!” if you filled Sayaka in on the full story when making Opportunity Choice 4. Otherwise, read “Holy Sky-Haired, Blue-Cool-Eyed Knight, Batman!”


Spoiler for Na na na na na na na na... H-Chan!:



Spoiler for Holy Sky-Haired, Blue-Cool-Eyed Knight, Batman!:



I finally made it home after another frightful run-in with a witch. But at least nobody was hurt due to it. But during the night, I had another strange dream. A girl that had been in one of my previous dreams appeared again! She was the very acrobatic and fast spear-wielding redhead girl in a long-flowing reddish dress. But while she was my friend and ally the last time I dreamed of her, this time it seemed like she was an enemy...

__________________________________________________ _________


The above Chapter works better without splitting the chains for the "Mami Dies" branch. However, they certainly will be split for Chapter 9.

I'll be interested to see who gets this latest "other anime" reference. This one is a bit more obscure than most, I think.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Deikan View Post
I'm really loving the Madoka x Mami fan-fiction. I'm a huge Mami fan, and as a writer myself, reading this is like a treat for my eyes. Mami's death in the anime really broke my heart, but reading this makes the Mami fan in me really happy.

I can't wait to read more romance chapters. I'm now a big fan of your work, keep up the great work.
Thanks a lot! Well, the next update after this one will get back to the Madoka X Mami route, and I think you'll like it a lot! I hope to have the next update done within a couple days.
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Old 2012-02-09, 02:58   Link #75
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Well, a lot of this is kinda taken from the series proper, so I'm not sure exactly what to comment on... hmm...

Well, first thing's first... I know I said I was going to try and play nice with Homura in the last MD update, but... something was nagging at me, telling me not to go with 10-B. Anyway, I will say that I actually find B to be the more amusing choice, so don't let my random decision dissuade anyone who actually earned the top branch from making the choice I didn't. Of course, I'd imagine that it's something a lot of people would want to do anyway...

That aside, it's quite fun to see the changes in the relationship between Sayaka and Homura playing out like this. Makes me wonder just how much a difference one little thing really can make...


Going back a bit, OC5B was... interesting. I don't want to say too much, but it's quite a punch, to say the least. Kinda glad to know I wouldn't have made that choice if I even had the option. Though, I will admit you might have made me want to actually see something from it...

Anyway, nice update here. Really appreciating the effort you're putting into this.

Hmm... Oh yeah! One last thing...
Spoiler for random line of randomness:
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Old 2012-02-09, 03:22   Link #76
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spotted Shana reference here :3
how about change it to Sky-Haired, Blue-Cool-Eyed Knight?

and i have a good news, i have found Visual Novel Sprite for Hitomi, Mami, Kyoko and Kamijou, suck that there are no madoka, homura and Sayaka though
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Old 2012-02-09, 08:23   Link #77
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Thx again for the update.

Spoiler for Ending 2:


I really like what you've done with the development of Sayaka and Homura's relationship. Its nice to know that they actually have a chance of getting along if Sayaka did not cement Homura as the bad guy after the Mami "incident" - not that Homura helps her case.

The non-canon H-chan route is interesting. Choice A gives more information but Choice B seems to make the relationships go more smoother regarding Homura and Sayaka and between Homura and Madoka. If I'm ever going to go at this route I'll choose B though.

Spoiler for 10:


And finally Kyouko is coming.
Btw, where is that anime reference? lol
I cant see anything except for what Kimidori pointed out which I totally would not get without wikipedia.
Sky haired, Blue eyed knight = Flame-haired Blazing-eyed Hunter
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Old 2012-02-09, 11:55   Link #78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by night_sentinel View Post
Spoiler for Ending 2:
In fairness...
Spoiler for Ending 2:



Anyway... I'm hitting myself over missing the Shana thing due to believing the reference was hidden away somewhere in OC5B.
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Old 2012-02-09, 12:42   Link #79
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spotted Shana reference here :3
how about change it to Sky-Haired, Blue-Cool-Eyed Knight?
I'm going to make a confession here.

My original "Holy Blue-Haired Sword-Wielding Girls, Batman!" section title was just done to play off of the alternate "Na na na na na na na na... H-Chan!" section title. In other words, both were intended to reference Adam West Batman in unison. I basically tried to think of what Burt Ward Robin would make of Sayaka.

But turning that also into a Shana reference is too good to turn up, so thank you! "Holy Sky-Haired Blue-Cool-Eyed Knight, Batman!" might be a bit wordy for Burt Ward Robin, but I can kind of imagine it.

Quote:

and i have a good news, i have found Visual Novel Sprite for Hitomi, Mami, Kyoko and Kamijou, suck that there are no madoka, homura and Sayaka though
That's great news! I'll see if I can find VN sprites of Madoka, Homura, and Sayaka.


Quote:
Originally Posted by night_sentinel View Post
Thx again for the update.

Spoiler for Ending 2:

Really glad you liked the special ending. I figured this chapter could use some added spice, and so I decided that it was time for another special ending.

I will admit I had second thoughts over making Madoka snap at Homura like that, but my thinking was...

1) I wanted to gauge reader opinion on the idea of an angry and/or emotionally broken Madoka willing to lash out a bit at others. That could be instructive in how I choose to handle her character for a later and much more central section that I'm planning out.

2) I didn't want to give an easy Madoka/Homura romance route, and given the way that Special End was playing out, the only way I could see of avoiding that is to have Madoka snap at Homura a bit.


Quote:

I really like what you've done with the development of Sayaka and Homura's relationship. Its nice to know that they actually have a chance of getting along if Sayaka did not cement Homura as the bad guy after the Mami "incident" - not that Homura helps her case.
As Coldlight can probably tell you, I've spent a lot of time analyzing Sayaka's character, to the point that I think I have a very good sense of why she did what she did in the canon anime narrative, and how forgivable misunderstandings shaped a lot of that. With Homura, I think she's generally responsive to people being friendly and helpful to her goals, but she just doesn't have the time or desire to "clear the air" with anyone not named "Madoka". So it makes sense to me that just a couple tweaks here and there can make the difference between Sayaka and Homura as enemies, and Sayaka and Homura as allies.


Quote:

The non-canon H-chan route is interesting. Choice A gives more information but Choice B seems to make the relationships go more smoother regarding Homura and Sayaka and between Homura and Madoka. If I'm ever going to go at this route I'll choose B though.

Spoiler for 10:
Excellent observations! That is exactly what I was aiming for with the results of those two choices, yes. One of those choices "making Homura's day" was indeed what I was aiming for there.


Quote:

And finally Kyouko is coming.
Btw, where is that anime reference? lol
The intentional one is in the Special Ending. It's pretty subtle and obscure. It references the likely son of the male lead of, and the last few episodes of...

Spoiler for Reference Spoiler:



Quote:
Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane View Post
In fairness...
Spoiler for Ending 2:

Yeah, I also found it funny to imagine Madoka calling him that.
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Last edited by Triple_R; 2012-02-09 at 12:55.
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Old 2012-02-09, 15:55   Link #80
Sol Falling
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Age: 25
Haha, these Opportunity Choice endings, man. Honestly, I'm kinda glad I've never qualified for one of them so far. It seems like, not only do they end up putting Madoka through horrible tragedies/losses which end up changing her character, they also commonly seem to turn her heterosexual (lol. :P).

I guess other people have already commented, but I also greatly enjoyed seeing the developments in Sayaka/Homura's improving relationship in the non-canon arc of the story. Had I been on that route, I would probably have chosen choice B like others here. As for the "canon" story chain, I wonder if there will be any sort of reward for people who choose to stick to it further into the story. While I very much liked the balanced realism and moral theme of Madoka's ending, I've already (perhaps greedily) diverted off that path in pursuit of more emotionally convenient/tempting possibilities for the characters, lol. I guess I hope that anybody disciplined enough to stick with the true story path deeper into the story will still be presented/rewarded with even more interesting possibilities near the end of the storyline.

Good work. Even if these closer to canon storylines are a bit less engaging than the immediate-payoff "Mami lives" possibilities, I think that's exactly an opportunity to surprise us viewers and set up some great stuff in these routes in the future.
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