|2012-07-09, 21:07||Link #1|
Join Date: Jul 2012
Angel Beats Fanfic
So here I'm posting chapter one of my Angel Beats fanfic. I tried to go over and review it and see where to add stuff, but I could seem to think of much. It's just the introduction, and starts from the end of episode 13 (spoiler alert). I'm assuming you've seen the whole thing already.
Anyway I hope future chapters will actually be much longer than this.
Constructive criticism welcome.
Angel Beats: Encore
-A Fanfiction Chapter 1
Yuzuru walked down the steps slowly with Kanade in the evening sun. The light was golden, the track field in the distance was a brillian brown-orange, and the sound of the birds were chirping, and the set of stairs next to him were bordered by bushes and grass that ran along the sloped edge that separated the school from the track and fields. A thin stream of water laying over a masoned bottom trailed underneath the stairs as well. Ootonashi stopped at the second landing after going down only one flight of steps. Kanade stopped a few steps behind him, and looked at him from behind, smiling gently.
"Lemme ask you..." Yuzuru replied, turning around slightly to come face to face with her. "Would you like to stay here?"
Kannade's jaw dropped, and then shut it slowly afterward.
"The thought just hit me for some reason." He continued.
"There's going to be a lot of people like Yuri and Hinata who come here because they're unhappy with their lives, and many other kids just like them."
"They might try...they might try to stay here like Yuri and the others did. They might suffer fighting against their lives for all eternity, and they'd have to do it alone!"
"Right..." Angel responded the same way, again.
"But then, if we stayed...we could teach them how great life was all over again. That life really is worth living. We could help them graduate...its possible I might have come here...to fulfill that purpose." Ootonashi turned his head down, no longer looking into Kannade's beautiful golden eyes.
Kannade's eyes narowed a bit, and her smile turned the flat, staring at her friend's sensitivity with, a warm feeling beating in her chest suddenly.
"Would you stay with me?"
Kannade kept staring.
"As long as you're with me, I wont get lonely even here, even here in this world, I might have said this before, but I want to be with you, I want to stay with you...forever, because I-I love you so much." He closed his eyes, and turned his head slightly over just as she walked down the stairs and right in front of him.
"Kannade...I love you."
He stepped forward, put his arms around her, and brought her in close, hugging her tightly to his chest as her face lay against it. She brought her head down into his arms, and didn't reply.
"Why...wont you say something?"
"I don't want to." She paused, bringing her head up a little more, staring off into the distance within Ootonashi's warm embrace.
"If I tell you how I honestly feel, I think that I will vanish..." She said those last bits slowly, with slightly more hesitation than anything else she's said.
"I came here to tell you thank you for all that you've done for me."
"W-what do you mean Kannade?"
"My life...my life was extended because of the beautiful kind heart you gave me."
Ootonashi looked down with wide eyes, suddenly realizing, and then made sense, all over again, but she said it before he could.
"Even now your heart is beating here, right here in my chest. My only regret is that I was unable to thank the person who gave me my youth. I wanted to express my gratitude."
She had his heart, literally! That time on the train, he realized that she must have gotten a heart transplant, and that her body probably rejected it eventually.
"The lingering feeling that made me wander into this world."
"It cant be, I mean, how did you know it was me?"
"I noticed the first time I stabbed you, you didn't have a heart."
"But that alone doesn't-"
"You regained all of your memories when you fell asleep on top of my chest."
She smiled broadly, her small lips beautifully showed her emotions as she looked out across the water that ran underneath the steps. Her chest welled up a warm thumping motion, shaking slightly with her eyebrows upturned when she turned around to face him.
"Y-yuzuru...please...tell me, repeat what you just said."
"no I wont-you'll disappear..."
"I cant...I cant do it!"
"Do it...please?" She begged him with all the power his heart gave her.
"Please let me believe in everything you believed in!"
Yuzuru gave in, eyes scrunching up a bit as he slowly extended his arms to hug her dearly.
"Kannade... I love you"
"Lets stay together forever"
"yes!" She whispered emphatically "thank you..."
Both Kannade and Yuzuru exchanged thank yous and I love yous, telling each other how much they wanted to be together, gripping tighter. They both realized what would happen though, and Yuzuru began to cry.
"Please don't pass on, Kanade!"
"Thank you..for loving me...truly and deeply...thank you for giving my life to me"
Then Yuzuru collapsed onto the ground, with no body to support him, crying into his own arms now, sitting back up and huddling over.
"Kanade! Kanade!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, heedless of anyone else who could hear him. He grabbed for the space Kanade occupied desperately as if to clutch onto something that was once hers. She was gone from him now, passed on into whatever life she would inhabit next...but he couldn't bear it. She must go with her!
He wanted to follow her for the rest of his life, the life that he never had, and he knew Kanade wanted him to follow her. He just breathed and panted for a while, collapsed in on himself until all the people who were practicing out on the track outside were gone. He closed his eyes and his mind was filled with her, realizing that it was her life he saved, and that this was the good that came from his donation. He had indeed saved the life of someone, just like he wanted to save Hatsune, his sister.
Time went by. Days passed, and the school was almost empty. The banner of the SSS hung in the auditorium, the principals office was uninhabited, except for a laptop, some robot puppies and kitties, and a bardiche in the corner next to a bookcase.
The band room still had "Girls Dead Monster" written on the chalkboard, and a stereo on a desk in the corner. All of afterlife battlefront's equipment and evidence was left behind after they were gone, for some reason going untouched by the NPC staff.
The next day students walked from their rooms in the big dormitory buildings into the cafeteria, and around other parts of the campus in the morning. They all chatted, sat down, and started lessons as if nothing had happened. They were somehow still around after the shadow attacks, some were protected, others mysteriously reappeared, as if created by the "system" or "God" that the people persued.
During lunch, most of the students got up and walked around, a few people still had leftover advertisement papers from the last GilDeMo concert having been too lazy to throw them away. Classes ended, clubs began, and the school grounds weren't generally devoid of people until the evening. The seemingly isolated school continued its life as it always had.
However, just as everything seemed normal again, as much as that were possible, a boy woke up outside between the steps and the auditorium. He had black hair and brown eyes, a slightly above-average body height, yet somewhat slim.
Shoichi woke up suddenly, looking around, seeing nothing but an empty school not yet a week since Yuzuru and Kanade passed on.
|2012-07-16, 19:55||Link #2|
Join Date: Jul 2012
Okay, here's chapter two, but its short just like chapter one because I'm busy writing other stories as well. In this chapter, We see more of Shoichi Nakano, we also watch him go through the school to see what was left behind by Afterlife Battlefront.
I apologize for the rushed feeling. I would love it if I had the time to make each chapter like ten pages or so.
It was getting dark out. A dark yellow glaze washed over the trees and fields of the
school in the late evening as the newcomer Shoichi Nakano woke up resting on the
slanted grass bank next to the main stairs. The short grass poked against the backside
of his body, and the chilled breeze washed over him in the cool late evening sun. He
inhaled deeply in a large yawn as he looked out ahead, seeing nothing but the treeline,
and the immediate view down in front of him as a few students were still sitting out
there doing nothing. It had to be after seven, why would there still be people out?
"Speaking of that, where am I?" He said quietly to himself.
"Last thing I remember...hm..." He closed his eyes, collapsed back onto the grass and
thought. All he was staring at was the swirling blackness behind his eyelids as Nakano
tried to recollect his memories. They were not there.
"Wait I got a feeling of...lemme think...sadness? No that's not quite right. Anxiety?
Erm...I should be able to remember my own past, what's going on?" He slammed his fist
into the dirt, sitting up. The ground was solid beneath him, returning a slight
tingling feeling up through his elbow without much induced pain.
"This is annoying, okay Nakano, think. I hope I'm not getting amnesia..." He questioned
his ability to remember things now. He couldn't surely forget something as important as
"Lets go over basics. My name is Nakano, Shoichi Age 19, blood type B-. I never joined
the baseball team. Wait how do I know that?" he shook his head a bit as it started to
hurt. He didn't even remember a single detail, not to his knowledge or memory. He
thought it must all be located still within his subconscious, maybe because there was a
sports field down there in front of him that he managed to remember he never joined the
baseall team. Though track and field has nothing to do with swinging a bat.
Nakano stood up quickly, blood rushing to his head a bit.
"Must be tired." He thought to himself, walking along the cemented walkway above the
slanted grass edge, and the main steps. He walked up to the auditorium and took a left
leading over a bridge with a river far down below. There was a slanted roofed building
on the left. Ahead were three red bricked buildings all next to each other attached
with walkways on each of the second and third floors.
Nakano stopped next to the building on his left, looking at what had a triangled grey
roof, not a flat top like most of the other buildings around. It had golden brown wood
placed decoratively bordering each of the three floors and an open field on the
otherside as he walked around the building in a circular pattern going left.
Eventually he met a door that was unlocked, and went inside. The building had nice
walls with wood panelling that went up about three feet followed by painted wall. He
walked around for a while, going from room to room and floor to floor, seeing no one
and no place that looked like he could sit down and rest. Maybe he just wasn't looking
in the right spot?
He got to the end of a hallway on the third floor, and looked at the sign hanging
"Principal's Office? Maybe I can get some help in there!" He went up to the door and
opened it slowly, but just then part of the ceiling slid back, and he looked up as a
massive hammer lowered down to the floor and smacked him into the wall with a
resounding bang! Nakano went flying.
A couple hours later he woke up on the floor next to the wall and a really sore back.
He curled over, and slowly sat himself up and then managed to crawl his way over to the
door to the principals room, and slipped inside as quickly as possible.
"Who put that thing there..." He asked, looking upon a couch, crawling on top of it and
laying face down against the pillows. He didn't even bother to notice anything else
about the room, or register the fact that he actually found a couch after hours of
In the morning Nakano woke up in the same position he went to sleep in, but without a
pain in his back. He rolled over and sat up realizing that he was in the Principals
Office and jumped up about several feet, looking around.
There was no principal.
This room was completely empty, save for the desk, a rug with two couches, and a video
projector pointing toward a rolled up screen on the ceiling. On one corner behind him
was a bardiche, with some mechanical puppies Strewn about all over the room, and
furniture that looked like it had uniforms in it. On the other side of the room were
three tables stacked up against the wall next to a window with red curtains, and the
desk in the front of the room had handcuffs, a couple notebooks, and soda cans.
Something was off about this room, it wasn't the place of a principal, but rather
looked like a bunch of kids left stuff here. Except for the bardiche. Whow would be
crazy enough to use one of those things, much less buy one? This room already felt like
home, and the clock said it was about 9PM, after school started.
Nakano had walked around the room in a wide circle, examining everything. The coffee
table had an open bag of chips and a folded up uniform on the chair behind it. He
unfolded the main coat, and looked at the badge on one of the arms. It had "SSS" marked
on it with the words "Shinda Sekai Sensen", 'Rebels Against the God'.
He picked up and slung it over his back, sliding his arms in it, guessing that it was
the coat for the uniform in the school. Inside one of the jacket pockets was a slip of
paper with poor handwriting. 'In case you forget: There is no God, Angel, or Buddha'
"The heck?" Nakano responded and slipped the paper in his pants pocket as he walked out
of the room and down the hall toward the stairs - and the exit.
He looked ahead at the large red buildings, and figured they were the classrooms. He
was late for school, or rather he would have been if he was still in high school. This
was a weird place, with just a school and dorms. One of the teachers would know
something though - how to help him maybe. He judged the best course of action would be
to find the teacher's room.
Nakano started toward his next goal. He jogs toward a door on the ground level of the
buildings, and then walks through the hallways. Toward the center of one stretch of a
building is a staircase. Having not seen anyone yet Nakano decides to take the flight,
and ascend to floor two to look for the staff room. Each of the classrooms where shut,
but unlocked. there were seats all aligned perfectly in each of the classrooms. So far
there were hardly any students. A lot of classrooms were empty.
"Why are there hardly any students here?" The most curious part was one particular room
that had its desks all clustered and shoved toward the back, and a chalk board with the
words "Girl's Dead Monster." This school had some oddities about it - something he had
to continue to explore before he properly got his bearings.
As he walked into the room there on the teacher's desk was a stereo, and in front of
the chalkboard directly was a drum kit, and three guitars propped up on stands in front
"Hm. Rockband." He walked toward the stereo and picked up a flyer that was stacked
amongst others. On it was a fancy decorated logo, and it named what he assumed to be
band members, all girls. Yui for vocals and rythym guitarist, Hisako on lead guitar,
Irie on drums, and Sekine on bass.
"What is up with this place?"
|2012-10-12, 16:09||Link #4|
Join Date: Jul 2012
This is what I have so far, I'll add to it if I can find a way to extend it, but what happens next is going to be a little different and warrants its own chapter I believe. Man these feel so short to me -_-
The flyers, the room with the drums, guitar, and other instruments as well as the
decorated chalkboard, everything this room had made the obvious suggestion of their
rehearsal area. Aside from that inherently obvious observation, the combination of
being new here, and liking rock music gave him the self-appointed excuse of using
that to explore this room in more detail. He had no idea why exactly this room was
calling to him so much. He stood around and looked at various things neutrally, even
just walking around vaguely, but yet it was a room he didn't want to leave yet.
Over the next minute or so, he just put his hand across the neck of the guitar in
the center, and walked over to the drums - picking up a stick and lightly tapping
the surface. There in the back he saw an acoustic guitar on a stand and nothing
else. There was no note next to it, no other instruments...just a guitar on a stand
just as if it belonged with instruments that were used for rock. Having no idea what
it was for, he left it alone and went back to look at the flyers one more time.
There was also a small stack of CD cases behind the stereo up to about three or four
different copies. They were totally blank CD cases, a white-clear cover making it
difficult to ascertain whether there were actually CDs in there. He picked one up,
opened it, and looked at the surface which had a few hastily written markings done
by what was probably a sharpy pen. Girls Dead Monster, with the number of recorded
songs, and the band members in very small lettering, this time including a name not
mentioned on the flyers: Iwasawa. She must be the replacement for this girl Yui,
because he didn't see her name at all.
Curious, he popped in the CD, turned the volume down a bit, and just drew up a chair
next to the table with the CDs, flyers, and stereo to listen.
"Not bad. If only I could get this onto an ipod or something..."
He turned around to look out the window, which showed a completely dark environment,
as night had settled over the campus completely. That's right, Shoichi had gone to
the principal's office and was knocked out by a set trap for a couple hours before
making his way over to where he was now. Maybe he should actually get some sleep. He
had no idea what time it was, and the feeling of being totally alone here was
overwhelmingly...boring. He wanted something to do.
Deciding to save the music for later, he turned the stereo off, made a mental note
to come back sometime soon to listen to it, and went back to the principals office,
and took the slip of paper out of his jacket pocket and read it.
"There is no God, Angel, or Buddha." He said stubbornly, and slowly approached the
The trap didn't spring upon him. It worked! He had to wonder who made such a
password in the first place, and just entered to slump down on a couch and go to
The next day proved to be even more boring than the first. He spent most of the time
dodging any teachers or students that were around, and just explored the campus in
it's entirety. The pool, sports fields, rooftops, they were all just incredibly
normal. The auditorium, principal's office, and band room remained largely untouched
though and that was it. There were no other remnants of the Afterlife Battlefront,
or anything to suggest that that was their name. So far to him there just seemed to
be evidence of a group of people who are here no longer. He didn't know any of the
Battlefront's members, so he did not feel any attachment to them.
Nakano yawned as he remained in a hallway during class hours. He halfway didn't care
anymore, but just wanted to get on with whatever was going to happen. He had
explored the campus, and found what he wanted, but he didn't have a life here. So
then he wondered if he should go to admissions or not. Getting a room, and a class
would help propel him forward, whatever importance his future might hold, or what
left of it.
The next day came around, after his trip to the admissions office and his placement
into a room and class Nakano finally felt like he was actually getting somewhere.
He approached the class in the morning before first period, and stood outside the
door, waiting. When the teacher called him in, he slid the door open and walked in
to see a class full of students looking up at him. The teacher was a girl, which was
rare where he came from.
"Class, here's our new transfer student..." She spoke, regardless of the fact he's
already been wandering around at night for a few days.
"Hey. I'm Nakano Shoichi, nice to meet you." He stood there looking at them, curious
as to how to introduce himself properly.
"Tell us about yourself a bit, Nakano?"
"uh...lemme see...I was born in Tokyo...I like arcade games, and I prefer to get
the hardwork out of the way first, so I can have an easy life later."
The teacher eagerly clapped her hands together.
"Great! I'm sure you'll fit in just fine. Take the seat on the second row from the
window, the open desk right there."
He looked and saw, one of three empty desks, and a girl was seated right next to
him to! Maybe life here wont be so bad after all. He walked shyly down the isle,
and seated himself at the desk next to her, glancing over at her. She looked back
over at him and smiled. Nakano opened his book, the teacher passed him a paper, and
then started going back over what they learned the previous day. This gave time for
Nakano to look at the paper handed back to him.
It mentioned something about not travelling alone, something about a recent
unfortunate incident, and a few other things. Nakano just flipped the page over,
and took notes on the backside of the paper on what he was not around for.
A few minutes later she popped a pop quiz, and didn't hand him a paper, but he
got to watch as people took the test before his eyes. Other than that the day was
relatively interesting barring the fact it was still a school day. New people and
new environments were attractive and kept things fresh.