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Old 2013-05-06, 12:53   Link #1621
setsuna86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nandesuto View Post
This isn't a machine translation, is it?
No, so if you can help it a little, that will be good.
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Old 2013-05-06, 12:53   Link #1622
Algester
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pretty much th reason why its in teaser section of baka-tsuki its because it is machine translated somewhat done semi-professionally
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Old 2013-05-06, 13:12   Link #1623
Nihgthawk
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Thanks for the translation setsuna86 thou I get the feeling that you need some help arranging the grammar to let the reader read the story smoothly it's not illegible and gets the story across.
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Old 2013-05-06, 13:16   Link #1624
Nandesuto
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I see. The difficulty is it seems to need more than just editing, i.e. TLC. I don't know how much I'd be able to help with that, unfortunately.
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Old 2013-05-06, 13:29   Link #1625
willx
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^ The above is incorrect.

The previous volumes, 1-5 were done via machine translation with careful editing by EnigmaticAxiom. This is why it is in the teaser section.

The current chapters for Volume 6 are actual translations, but require editing.
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Old 2013-05-06, 15:04   Link #1626
deathbringer
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Thanks Setsuna86 for the work. You've done two chapter at once. Bows down
btw the translation quality is not bad at all for your first work, keep up the good work.
as long as it is readable as reader I have no right to complain

Last edited by deathbringer; 2013-05-06 at 15:27.
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Old 2013-05-06, 16:44   Link #1627
Iskatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willx View Post
^ The above is incorrect.

The previous volumes, 1-5 were done via machine translation with careful editing by EnigmaticAxiom. This is why it is in the teaser section.

The current chapters for Volume 6 are actual translations, but require editing.
It requires a lot of it.
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Old 2013-05-06, 17:23   Link #1628
Nandesuto
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Here's a quick comparison of the first few lines against my Chinese translation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Original
The autumn in Zchted is short. Or one should say that winter came early.

Plants that were lush and bathed in the sunlight shining too, during the summer now seemed to let color hammer before the wind that lost heat.

Of course, it wasn't merely such a scenery. The autumn was also the season of harvest. Under the blue sky, golden wheat fields stretched too far along the highway.

As the wind blew, the wheat ears which grew splendidly with the sound of the seat shakes.

It seemed that with the abundant harvest around here, the face of the farmers who were cropping was also smiling broadly.

Besides standing out were the green apple trees, on which some plump green apples were hanging down really heavily.

Looking at such peaceful scenery, Tigre felt at ease. The wind was cool to a comfortable extent, though it came now just expecting to talk to them, the horse was hasted suppressing that feeling.
Here's my take:
Quote:
Autumns in Zhcted were rather short. One might also say that winter simply came early.

The verdant green of vegetation, previously bathed in the bright midsummer sun, had since faded with the rustle of the autumn breeze.

It wasn't all bleak, however; autumn was also the season of harvest.

Beneath the blue sky, vast, golden fields of wheat stretched as far as the eye could see. As the breeze blew, plump ears of wheat rustled as they swayed. The sight of farmers at work, reaping wheat, also entered one's gaze.

Unwilling to be left out, young apple trees made their presence known, their boughs dipping towards the ground, laden with fruit.

Immersing himself in the scenery, Tigre's heart opened wide. Feeling the pleasantly crisp breeze, Tigre was filled with the desire to chat with the farmers in their fields. Nonetheless, suppressing this impulse, he urged his horse onward.
I can't vouch for the accuracy of my own translation, or of the initial J-C one, but there does seem to be something lost in translation. I'd advise being a little more careful with lines that tend to have chained modifiers + descriptions. The flow of the English is a little awkward as well, although that's simply because you're not a native English speaker. An editor ought to be able to help with that.
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Old 2013-05-06, 20:28   Link #1629
setsuna86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nandesuto View Post
Here's a quick comparison of the first few lines against my Chinese translation.


Here's my take:


I can't vouch for the accuracy of my own translation, or of the initial J-C one, but there does seem to be something lost in translation. I'd advise being a little more careful with lines that tend to have chained modifiers + descriptions. The flow of the English is a little awkward as well, although that's simply because you're not a native English speaker. An editor ought to be able to help with that.
No, I don't think there is something lost in translation. What your translate now match perfectly with japanese LN. I translate it only using my own words.
But now I understand what you mean.
I currently began the ch 4 and I will translate that as you propose now, i.e, word for word. Well Thank you for your advises. That helps me.
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Old 2013-05-06, 21:54   Link #1630
Hiyohiyo
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Translating word for word isn't correct either. The important thing is simply to convey the idea. Sometimes that means word for word, and sometimes not. Just use your best judgment. It's not like my translation was the best either (I and some others just had this conversation =)).

On another note, props to you for being openly accepting of criticism and having an open desire to improve. Such a trait is both valuable and rare.
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Old 2013-05-06, 22:09   Link #1631
XFire
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Originally Posted by Algester View Post
and then the 8th Campione was actually the last King...
wrong thread ^_^
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Old 2013-05-06, 22:26   Link #1632
Algester
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good pointing it out lol will move
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Old 2013-05-07, 00:05   Link #1633
noobarta
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Originally Posted by setsuna86 View Post
No, so if you can help it a little, that will be good.
Will do, I'll help edit some parts of the sentence structure I spot
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Old 2013-05-07, 00:52   Link #1634
haseo0408
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Does anyone know when volume 7 will be release?
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Old 2013-05-07, 01:35   Link #1635
Awrya
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haseo0408 View Post
Does anyone know when volume 7 will be release?
Volume 7 release was mentioned 2 pages ago.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nihgthawk View Post
Got a release date for volume 7, 6/25.
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Old 2013-05-07, 02:03   Link #1636
setsuna86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nandesuto View Post
I'd advise being a little more careful with lines that tend to have chained modifiers + descriptions. The flow of the English is a little awkward as well, although that's simply because you're not a native English speaker. An editor ought to be able to help with that.
I try to do as you advise and reedit. Please read once more on BT. (ch 2)
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Old 2013-05-07, 03:17   Link #1637
cramped
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Need my help setsuna?
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Old 2013-05-07, 03:42   Link #1638
XenahortCharybdis
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I too am at your service, oh thee of the free time.

And I end temp work come the end of this month. Ree-hee-hee!
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Old 2013-05-07, 07:28   Link #1639
setsuna86
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Originally Posted by cramped View Post
Need my help setsuna?
Of course, your help is welcome.
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Old 2013-05-07, 07:44   Link #1640
cramped
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Your wish is my command, awaiting ORDERS SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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