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Old 2004-10-01, 16:27   Link #241
mantidor
the Iniquitous
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: bogotá
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with all these new threads I think this one needs to be revived..."stoic vs life experience"!? "do you believe in god"!? "war for humanity" O_o! not to mention others, does it have something to do with autumn or what?

So here I introduce Condorito! the funniest character imo and that Im sure most latinamericans know, recently you can find some jokes of him in yahoo, but they are quite lame, Ill post the ones I have without dialog to not have to translate, specially since some of the jokes are language based, so it would be futile to do so.

here we find him and his nephew, Cone, its kind of his son since hes an orphan and Condorito has taken care of him. Cone is like... I suppose kind of like Bart Simpson, only hes more innocent some times.

Spoiler:
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Old 2004-10-02, 01:26   Link #242
hobobaggins
だいすきが大好きです!
 
 
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IT IS REVIVED!

<orion`-`-> what the fuck
<orion`-`-> i think the icecream truck just hit a kid
<orion`-`-> brbrb

<factorial_nine> "Male masturbation is a personal turn off for me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who doesn't masturbate, even while he's single."
<factorial_nine> GOOD LUCK, BITCH.


(JHawk111420) Hey whats up, a/s/l?
(Lady Renegade) more than you want, I'm sure
(JHawk111420) ill take that as a challenge ;-)
(Lady Renegade) take it any way you want sweetie
(JHawk111420) k, how old are ya?
(Lady Renegade) probably too old for you, but let's pretend I'm 20
(JHawk111420) k, what do ya look like?
(Lady Renegade) before or after I'm dressed up?
(JHawk111420) both :-D
(Lady Renegade) well......after I'm dressed up, I have long sexy red hair, nails painted red to match the slinky dress I have on, stiletto heels, pouty lips, green eyes, boobs out to here, and a smile that stops
traffic
(JHawk111420) and before your dressed up?
(Lady Renegade) before I'm dressed up, I'm bald and wearing boxers...sometimes my weenie is peeking out
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello ....

<YuFFie> SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH
<YuFFie> WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER.
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) Quit (Quit: Owned.)
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #
<YuFFie> HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF


<+mOrphz> damn it :/
<@Lego> damn it :/
<+mOrphz> stop that
<@Lego> stop that
<+mOrphz>
<@Lego>
<+mOrphz> Lego smells
<@Lego> Lego smells
<+mOrphz> /quit
quit: (Lego) (~leet@apex|Lego.user.gamesnet) (Quit)

i love bash.org. need to fine more places of great humor.

"If you put an asian on a stool, and spin him around, does he become dis-oriented?"

as a kid i didnt get any respect. i threatened to run away from home once, and my mom immediatly replied, "On your marks...".
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Old 2004-10-02, 01:46   Link #243
Shadowlord
~DESU
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Vancouver, Canada eh?
Age: 27
finally a place to post amusing articles and pics

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:


I guess i'll stop there, I have many more, but since this isn't an image board, ill stop for now.
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Old 2004-10-02, 02:08   Link #244
Scrumhalf
Ed & Winry? :O
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadowlord
Spoiler:
Gold.

If I had to choose between an WRX & a pr0n magazine to bukkake over, it's the car hands down.
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Old 2004-10-03, 01:53   Link #245
haunterex
Senior Member
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenTze
I found this pretty funny.
BTW, are they actual characters for a Chinese action show?
They arent actual characters, but some of the characters are parodies to some chinese movies of the past.
It's just a commerical trying to pack as many famous actors and singers to gain popularity.
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Old 2004-10-11, 19:47   Link #246
Entropy
Flame warrior
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Age: 27
The world according to student bloopers

Saw this on another site and litterally couldn't stop laughing

Click here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Lederer
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.

Quote:
The World According to Student Bloopers
The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Issac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Issac, stole his brother's birthmark. Jacob was a partiarch who brought up his twelve sons to be partiarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.

Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.

Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears in "The Illiad", by Homer. Homer also wrote the "Oddity", in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.

In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.

Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History call people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlic in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March killed him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames, King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harold mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was cannonized by George Bernard Shaw, and the victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks. Finally, the Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verse and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted "hurrah." Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespear. Shakespear never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived in Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies and errors. In one of Shakespear's famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. In another, Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the King by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote "Donkey Hote". The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote "Paradise Lost." Then his wife dies and he wrote "Paradise Regained."

During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. Later the Pilgrims crossed the Ocean, and this was known as Pilgrim's Progress. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by Indians, who came down the hill rolling their war hoops before them. The Indian squabs carried porpoises on their back. Many of the Indian heroes were killed, along with their cabooses, which proved very fatal to them. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

One of the causes of the Revolutionary Wars was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. During the War, Red Coats and Paul Revere was throwing balls over stone walls. The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.

Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared "a horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time became the Father of Our Country. Then the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, "In onion there is strength." Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also signed the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltare invented electricity and also wrote a book called "Candy". Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the Autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.

Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

France was in a very serious state. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened. The Marseillaise was the theme song of the French Revolution, and it catapulted into Napoleon. During the Napoleonic Wars, the crowned heads of Europe were trembling in their shoes. Then the Spanish gorillas came down from the hills and nipped at Napoleon's flanks. Napoleon became ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained. He wanted an heir to inheret his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't bear any children.

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick Raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Samuel Morse invented a code for telepathy. Louis Pastuer discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturailst who wrote the "Organ of the Species". Madman Curie discovered radium. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.

The First World War, cause by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by a surf, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
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Old 2004-10-11, 20:01   Link #247
sOnJoOL
Senior Member
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Entropy
Saw this on another site and litterally couldn't stop laughing

Click here!
dude!!! my history teacher was telling us these!!!
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Old 2004-10-11, 20:04   Link #248
hobobaggins
だいすきが大好きです!
 
 
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Age: 25
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this goes in "a laugh a day" thank you very much. because these are hilarious ^^

Last edited by NightWish; 2004-10-11 at 20:19. Reason: Merged thread
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Old 2004-10-11, 20:15   Link #249
aahhsin
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Quote:
The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted "hurrah." Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.
I love this one.

Who wouldn't want to be flashed by a virgin queen? She musta been pretty hot too. Getting flashed by royalty, the soldiers better damn well fight and win.

I think i read that wrong....
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Old 2004-10-11, 21:07   Link #250
hobobaggins
だいすきが大好きです!
 
 
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tis revived! and with the coming election this is more than appropriate ^^

Spoiler:


http://www.wearabledissent.com/101/floridavote.html
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Old 2004-10-11, 21:16   Link #251
sOnJoOL
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donno if you put this yet, hobobaggins.
Spoiler:
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Old 2004-10-11, 21:47   Link #252
NoSanninWa
Weapon of Mass Discussion
*Fansubber
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: New York, USA
Quote:
Originally Posted by Entropy
Saw this on another site and litterally couldn't stop laughing

Click here!

Spoiler for Originally Posted by Richard Lederer:
I ought to ban you for attempting to kill a moderator. I almost died laughing.
__________________

There's not that fine a line between willing suspension of disbelief and something just being stupid.
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Old 2004-10-11, 22:25   Link #253
hobobaggins
だいすきが大好きです!
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sOnJoOL
donno if you put this yet, hobobaggins.
http://forums.animesuki.com/showthre...797#post289797

yes indeed i have ^^

<Deffy> Christ is so cool. He's born, I get presents. He dies, I get candy.

<DeX`> i could eat a 4lb london broil and have room left for a small chinese woman
<Damaceles> after you ate her you'd have to eat again in an hour

<FM{FF1}> Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.
<FM{FF1}> ...men.
<FM{FF1}> GOD THAT WAS A BAD TYPO.

<Spesh> It takes skill to climb the corporate ladder on your knees.

<FreshBrew> IM DONT MATH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
<FreshBrew> HELL FUCKING YES
<kolby> you still in english?

<SoulBain> I think my keyboard's unplugged.

<Kyro> searching for: penis
*** Kyro has quit IRC (Excess Flood)

and the best one...

<CrazyClimber> top dangling modifier of the day:
<CrazyClimber> "A jet going 100 m.p.h. slammed into a deer, which ruptured a wing fuel tank and dumped 70 gallons of gas on the runway. "
<CrazyClimber> i knew about cows and methane, but...
<me_tew> Dammit, when are they going to REQUIRE that fuel tanks on deer be moved away from the wings.

Spoiler for not for people who are planning to eat soon/have eaten:

Last edited by hobobaggins; 2004-10-12 at 14:54. Reason: too rauchy
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Old 2004-10-12, 15:28   Link #254
OutPhase
Lord Chairman God King
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Do you really give a damn?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoSanninWa
I ought to ban you for attempting to kill a moderator. I almost died laughing.
He tried to jenk me too, NSW.

I found this line very amusing:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Entropy
Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared "a horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
What? He's dead and still is today? Does that mean:

1. He'll rise from his grave and terrorize us all.

It's said that from 300 years after his death he'll resurrect from the dead and kill us all with his experiments by using us as his test subjects. We will be his lab rats and die painfully.


2. Be a zombie.

From how I see it Franklin will suddenly develop a taste for brains at anytime and decide to become alive. It's said that is cry is, "Evil Zombie Franklin LIVES!!!!!!!!" Also if he's still hungry he will eat your arms too.


3. Suddenly tell us he's the true Messiah.

It is said by a few druggies that Ben Franklin is the true Son of God and He opened the gates to Heaven and He will guide us to salvation. Prepare for Judgement Day, because when Franklin resurrects it will be your final day on Earth!


I don't want to meet Franklin. He's all decayed and he smells funny now.....
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Old 2004-10-17, 02:59   Link #255
Melty Snow
<3 WoW undead girls
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: in a cold puddle
Aye, guess this is where I should post this ^^. Don't really like making a thread just for a video link.
real life rpg battle
I just love rpg's .
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Old 2004-10-17, 03:40   Link #256
sarcasteak
WAHA~
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
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Age: 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoSanninWa
I ought to ban you for attempting to kill a moderator. I almost died laughing.
Almost doesn't count.

Poor me, I have to surgically re-attach my lower jaw!
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Old 2004-10-17, 04:40   Link #257
Inuzuka
now with 20% more ego!
 
 
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Age: 23
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Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melty Snow
Aye, guess this is where I should post this ^^. Don't really like making a thread just for a video link.
real life rpg battle
I just love rpg's .
That was awkwardly funny
Quote:
Originally Posted by Entropy
The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.


William Hung wannabes can be scary sometimes

Last edited by Inuzuka; 2004-10-19 at 07:36.
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Old 2004-10-23, 10:59   Link #258
Sakaki
Watakushi wa heiki desu!
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
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Age: 51
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I received these 2 emails in my Yahoo email today,
Quote:
Drae‬ Yaho!o‬ Meebm‬r,

We mtsu‬ chekc‬ tah‬t yruo‬ Yooha‬! ID was regiset‬red by real poe‬ple. So, to hepl‬ Yooha‬! prenev‬t autotam‬ed
regisrt‬ations, pleesa‬ clci‬k on tsih‬ lkni‬ and comtelp‬e cdo‬e vefir‬ication proec‬ss:

w‬w‬w‏.޳y‬ah޵o޳o޼.޸c޸o‬m޵/?9q2Gbi0jbmDQnj1EQhMj7hb4k4j5mg6q4qf5DpwNs0ZPXOcBB ActA3w9x2a

Tah‬nk you


and

Dae‬r Yaho!o‬ Membre‬,

We msu‬t cceh‬k ttah‬ yuo‬r Yaoh‬o! ID was regiderets‬ by rae‬l pepo‬le. So, to hepl‬ Yaho!o‬ pretnev‬ atamotu‬ed
registrnoita‬s, pleesa‬ cil‬ck on tih‬s likn‬ and coelpm‬te coed‬ vernoitacifi‬ prsseco‬:

w‪w‎w޳.y޴aho‬o௦.*c޶o‎m‏/?gMOk8fgoMkgdZf5QP9eN8w7wo76l9f5roVuSUv8QFw8wLg3mM 7h500p9m

Tknah‬ you
Do you think that they might be legitimate?

Maybe Yahoo just needs to hire employees with better spelling or typing skills.

You think if someone was going to try and scam you they would at least try to make it look legitimate.
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Old 2004-10-23, 11:16   Link #259
???
Unknown
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Unknown Land
Age: 11
What thing as blue, white and red ?

Spoiler:
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Old 2004-10-23, 12:04   Link #260
Green²
It's Magic
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Up and to the Left
Age: 34
Not sure if this has been posted yet,.. but read this.
Spoiler for or click here & read...:
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