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Old 2004-11-05, 17:09   Link #281
Arwyn
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: God forsaken middle of nowhere, Texas
Lol, I love that site, I have used some of their stuff for my desktop wallpaper.

My favorite;

Attitude: Some say attitudes are contagious, mine might kill you....
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Old 2004-11-05, 17:15   Link #282
Cammie
Smooth and Curvy...
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Someone had way to much time on their hands at work...

I like this one:

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Old 2004-11-05, 22:44   Link #283
Chechirom
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New Orleans, LA
I liked the individuality one the best:

"Just remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else."

The Intimidation one is pretty funny too:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, But you'd be a fool to withhold that from you superiors."

By the way thanks for the link to that site, I might use one or two for my background I like the Intimidation picture
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Old 2004-11-05, 23:24   Link #284
OutPhase
Lord Chairman God King
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Do you really give a damn?
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This is one of my personal favorites:

Spoiler:
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Old 2004-11-05, 23:30   Link #285
hobobaggins
だいすきが大好きです!
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Age: 25
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belongs in: A laugh a day.

very funny
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Old 2004-11-06, 02:07   Link #286
Sanjuronord
セクシーなパイロット
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Kentucky
My favorite:
Spoiler:

Lets your workers know where they stand. Mwahaha.
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Old 2004-11-06, 20:19   Link #287
Green˛
It's Magic
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Up and to the Left
Age: 34
Spoiler for Dot Com Bust:
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Old 2004-11-06, 21:41   Link #288
Shadowlord
~DESU
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Vancouver, Canada eh?
Age: 27
Nude intruder hitches ride on moving jet at LAX

Nude intruder hitches ride on moving jet at LAX

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/6407177/?GT1=5809

LOS ANGELES - A Canadian man, angry that he was refused a plane ticket to Australia at Los Angeles International Airport, stripped naked, sprinted across the tarmac and climbed into the wheel well of a moving jumbo jet, officials said.

advertisement
Pilots of the Qantas Airways flight stopped the plane upon realizing they had picked up an unauthorized passenger and the man was coaxed out of the wheel well and arrested for trespassing, airport spokeswoman Nancy Castles said Wednesday.

“This was an extremely dangerous thing for him to do,” she said. “If he had continued to cling in there with the aircraft taking off at over 200 per hour, he might have fallen out and could have been sucked up by an engine.”

“If he had survived that and was in the wheel well when the landing gear was retracted, he could have been crushed by the mechanism. And if not he very likely would have frozen to death during the 15 1/2 hour flight at 30,000 feet while wearing no clothes.”

The man, Neil Melly, 31, tried to buy a one-way ticket on the Qantas flight on Monday evening, but was turned down because he could not supply a valid credit card, Castles said.

Later, he managed to climb over an airport fence, topped by three strands of barbed wire, without injury and was spotted by a ramp worker “running, naked, full-speed” toward the plane.

Castles said a check by authorities found that Melly had been reported missing to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and was suffering from bipolar disorder, a manic-depressive illness.

Funny but sad as well

Also, this one gave me a hell of a laugh

Warning, contains adult themes! (no pics)

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Last edited by Shadowlord; 2004-11-06 at 21:54.
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Old 2004-11-06, 22:40   Link #289
LoveOfAnime
~Lost in the Moonlight~
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: WA State
Age: 41
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Talking Job Outsourcing

by Staff Reporter Melynda Jill

Washington DC - Congress today announced that the
Office of President of the United States will be
outsourced to overseas interests as of June 30th, the
end of this fiscal year. The move is being made to
save $400K a year in salary,a record $521 Billion in
deficit expenditures and related overhead. "The cost
savings will be quite significant" says Congressman
Adam Smith (D -Wash) who, with the aid of the GAO (the
General Accounting Office) has studied outsourcing of
American jobs extensively. "We simply can no longer
afford this level of outlay and remain competitive in
the world stage", Congressman Smith said.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of the
termination of his position. He will receive health
coverage, expenses and salary until his final day of
employment. After that, with a two week waiting
period, he will then be eligible for $240 dollars a
week from unemployment insurance for 13 weeks.
Unfortunately he will not be able to receive state
Medicaid health insurance coverage as his unemployment
benefits are over the required limit.

Preparations have been underway for some time for
the job move. Sanji Gurvinder Singh of Indus
Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming the
Office of President of the United States as of July
1. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his
parents were here on student visas, thus making him
eligible for the position. He will receive a salary
of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or
other benefits. Due to the time difference between
the US and India, Mr. Singh will be working
primarily at night, when offices of the US
Government will be open.

"I am excited to serve in this position," Mr. Singh
stated in an exclusive interview. "Working nights
will let me keep my day job at the American Express
call center. I always knew I could be President
someday." Congress stressed patience when calling
Mr. Singh as he may not be fully aware of all the
issues involved with his new position. A
Congressional Spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh has
been given a script tree to follow which will allow
him to respond to most topics of concern. The
Spokesperson further noted that "additional savings
will be realized as these scripting tools have been
successfully used by Mr. Bush and will enable Mr.
Singh to provide an answer without having to fully
understand the issue itself."

Mr. Bush has been offered the use of a Congressional
Page to help him write a resume and prepare for his
upcoming job transition. According to Manpower,
Inc., the placement firm, Mr. Bush may have
difficulties in securing a new position as job
prospects in the Sports Franchise Ownership arena
remain limited. A recently released report from the
Pentagon suggests a good prospect for him as a newly
unemployed person may be in the Army National Guard.
There he would be called up with his unit and
stationed in Iraq, a country he has visited briefly
before. "I've been there, I know all about Iraq and
the conditions there," stated Mr. Bush. He gained
invaluable knowledge of the country in his first
visit at the Baghdad Airport non-smoking terminal
and gift shop.

Meanwhile in Baghdad and Falluja, Iraq, sources
report that local Iraqis say Mr. Bush would receive
an especially warm reception from them. Such sources
stated the Iraqis only request would be to be
informed of which convoy he would be riding in order
to give him the welcome he deserves.

Congress continues to explore other outsourcing
possibilities including that of Vice-president and
most Cabinet positions.
Let's do it!
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Old 2004-11-07, 17:26   Link #290
hobobaggins
だいすきが大好きです!
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Age: 25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveOfAnime
[LEFT] Washington DC - Congress today announced that the
Office of President of the United States will be
outsourced to overseas interests
oh my god. that killed me!

http://www.ucomics.com/nonsequitur/

go wiley!
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Old 2004-11-07, 19:31   Link #291
Shay
Monarch Programmer
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Liverpool
Age: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadowlord

Also, this one gave me a hell of a laugh

Warning, contains adult themes! (no pics)


6.9
A 69 ruined by a period.

ROFL!
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Old 2004-11-08, 08:43   Link #292
Tiamat's Disciple
Disciple of the Flames
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Appologies to any american readers......

....but i found this and just had to share it with you .....

Quote:

President Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their
meanings.

The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him,
that would be a "tragedy."

No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call great loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand...

In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs.Bush was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that
would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either".
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Old 2004-11-08, 08:58   Link #293
Umbrae
Generic Human
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: here
nah, that would be friendly fire. . . frinedly to us, fired for bush =p
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Old 2004-11-08, 09:01   Link #294
Lst2touchdasky
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Phoenix,AZ
Age: 27
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That was priceless! are you sure it isnt a joke?
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Old 2004-11-08, 09:49   Link #295
???
Unknown
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Unknown Land
Age: 11
You guys read to much Cartoon Politics.
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Old 2004-11-08, 13:08   Link #296
Green˛
It's Magic
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Up and to the Left
Age: 34
Spoiler for Fallujah:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Taliesin
President Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their
meanings.

The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him,
that would be a "tragedy."

No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call great loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand...

In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs.Bush was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that
would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either".
Then after two minutes of this:



Bush then pulled out of his bag a book and replied to the class: "So,.. uh, umm,.. who wants to read My Pet Goat?"

Last edited by Green˛; 2004-11-08 at 13:45. Reason: second half addition.
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Old 2004-11-08, 14:51   Link #297
???
Unknown
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Unknown Land
Age: 11
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Old 2004-11-08, 15:35   Link #298
Roots
外人、漫画訳者
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Austin, TX
Age: 32
HARA-KERRY, LMAO that's great! +rep goes to you



For those who don't get the joke, in Japan's feudal age it was common practice for samurai to commit hara-kiri, or ritual suicide by cutting their stomachs with their own sword. It was done as a means to restore honor after committing a terrible act (or failing to commit a noble act). So here Kerry is committing ritual suicide to try to restore his honor, by death, at having lost to the biggest moron in the world.
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Old 2004-11-08, 15:39   Link #299
Shay
Monarch Programmer
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Liverpool
Age: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roots
HARA-KERRY, LMAO that's great! +rep goes to you



For those who don't get the joke, in Japan's feudal age it was common practice for samurai to commit hara-kiri, or ritual suicide by cutting their stomachs with their own sword. It was done as a means to restore honor after committing a terrible act (or failing to commit a noble act). So here Kerry is committing ritual suicide to try to restore his honor, by death, at having lost to the biggest moron in the world.
Yeah I got the joke and I thought it was hilarious, I also wanted to give some good rep, but the dammed thing tells me I've given too much out in the last 24hours. Grrrrr!

Note to self: stop dishing out rep for fun, wait for times like this when it is well deserved!
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Old 2004-11-08, 17:09   Link #300
Melty Snow
<3 WoW undead girls
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: in a cold puddle
http://www.enwhore.com/viewmovie.php?mid=227
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