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Old 2008-11-17, 01:29   Link #3141
Demongod86
Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
A college professor had the mysterious habit of walking into the lecture hall each morning, removing a tennis ball from his jacket pocket. He would set it on the corner of the podium. After giving the lecture for the day, he would once again pick up the tennis ball, place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the room. No one ever understood why he did this, until one day a student fell asleep during the lecture. The professor never missed a word of his lecture while he walked over to the podium, picked up the tennis ball and threw it, hitting the sleeping student squarely on the top of the head.
The next day, the professor walked into the room, reached into his jacket, removed a baseball. . . No one ever fell asleep in his class the rest of the semester!
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Old 2008-11-17, 06:35   Link #3142
Konpachi
Sinear Mambur
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Look behind you...
During a war, the army didn't have enough time to properly train it's soldiers. So men were drafted, given very basic training, then pushed into battle. One of these men was in the frontline and he threw a grenade over to the other side, hoping to take out as many enemy soliders as possible. One of these enemy soldiers picked the grenade up, pulled the pin and threw it back.



At the start of the school year, the professor walks into his class and tell the class that he believes that at the end of the year, everyone will fail.

At the end of the year, the professor's prediction came true but he allowed his top three students a chance to pass. All they had to do was to come back the next day dressed as an emotion. If the professor couldn't correctly guess the emotion, they pass.

So the next day, Student One walks in wearing a red shirt, red pants, red socks, red shoes, etc. The professor guessed that he was anger and, being correct, failed Student One.

Student Two walks in with a green cap, green jacket, green shorts, etc. The professor guessed that he was envy and, being right again, failed Student Two.

Next, Student Three walks in competely naked but with a hard-on and a pear tied to his penis. Dumbfounded, the professor passes Student Three, but asks, out of immense curiousity, what he was dressed as. Student Three replied, "Can't you see, sir? I'm fucking dis pear!"
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Old 2008-11-17, 23:45   Link #3143
Fipskuul
τηε πιγητ ωατςη
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: τηè λαnδ of веагз αnδ дг
Kids are doing, kids stuff. On another dimension.

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Old 2008-11-18, 01:00   Link #3144
Reckoner
Bittersweet Distractor
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 23
Spoiler for Funny Commericials:


Spoiler for The Wagon:


Spoiler for Lawyer and a Honest Man:


Spoiler for Another Bill Clinton Joke... They never get old.:


He can explain...

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Old 2008-11-18, 01:58   Link #3145
Aoie_Emesai
♪♫ Maya Iincho ♩♬
*Artist
 
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Unnecessary
Age: 28
Send a message via Yahoo to Aoie_Emesai
Jokes for ya ^^ (just keep laughing at the end)

Spoiler for A Girls First Time:


hahaha, i'm still laughing ^^
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Last edited by Aoie_Emesai; 2008-11-18 at 02:10.
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Old 2008-11-18, 07:02   Link #3146
OutSmart
Comic Relief
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Portugal
Age: 24
LOL you caught me! lmao
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Old 2008-11-18, 15:17   Link #3147
Cub-Sama
Member of DOLLARS
*Artist
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: In the magical land of Moonswell pass
Age: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aoie_Emesai View Post
Jokes for ya ^^ (just keep laughing at the end)

Spoiler for A Girls First Time:


hahaha, i'm still laughing ^^
I was anticipating it to be something completely innocent.
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Old 2008-11-18, 16:32   Link #3148
Kaze
「Darkly Charismatic 」
*Artist
 
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Lounge
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demongod86 View Post
A college professor had the mysterious habit of walking into the lecture hall each morning, removing a tennis ball from his jacket pocket. He would set it on the corner of the podium. After giving the lecture for the day, he would once again pick up the tennis ball, place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the room. No one ever understood why he did this, until one day a student fell asleep during the lecture. The professor never missed a word of his lecture while he walked over to the podium, picked up the tennis ball and threw it, hitting the sleeping student squarely on the top of the head.
The next day, the professor walked into the room, reached into his jacket, removed a baseball. . . No one ever fell asleep in his class the rest of the semester!
This one is plain win
I can actually see that happening
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Old 2008-11-18, 17:05   Link #3149
MisterJB
Warden of the West
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Casterly Rock
This is actually a true story.

A guy was traveling in an airplane and when he landen, he noticed that his luggage. He ralked with one of the officers in the airport who says this:

"Don't worry, we are trained professionals and your luggage will soon be with you. We just need one information, has your airplane already arrived?"
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Old 2008-11-19, 06:05   Link #3150
Solafighter
Hige
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: God only knows
Bill Engvall-live #2 Airforce Thunderbirds




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Old 2008-11-19, 06:36   Link #3151
Riker
Peek a boo
*Graphic Designer
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Wow. Was the game that buggy?

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Old 2008-11-19, 09:39   Link #3152
Solafighter
Hige
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: God only knows
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riker View Post
Wow. Was the game that buggy?




Matrix style.
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Old 2008-11-19, 10:57   Link #3153
Spectacular_Insanity
Ha ha ha ha ha...
*Graphic Designer
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Right behind you.
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riker View Post
Wow. Was the game that buggy?

LOL, what the hell it look like they're breaking it down mid-air.
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Old 2008-11-19, 23:58   Link #3154
Urzu 7
Juanita/Kiteless
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: New England
Age: 31
Man Tries to Pay Bills With Spider Drawing

Below is the complete email conversation that Adelaide man David Thorne claims he had with a utility company chasing payment of an overdue bill.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.



http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847

Read the link for the rest of the exchange. Funny stuff.
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Old 2008-11-20, 01:11   Link #3155
Evil Rick
Black Dragon
*Graphic Designer
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Netherrealm, thinking who to betray next...
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Old 2008-11-20, 02:36   Link #3156
ZephyrLeanne
On a sabbatical
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Wellington, NZ
Age: 33
Remember these sillies??




This is in the US...


And this is what your tax goes to.


I can wait. Really.


From the movies...

HK cop drama... or is it?


Trojans had jet fighters!
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Old 2008-11-20, 04:33   Link #3157
ganbaru
books-eater youkai
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Betweem wisdom and insanity
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urzu 7 View Post
Below is the complete email conversation that Adelaide man David Thorne claims he had with a utility company chasing payment of an overdue bill.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.



http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847

Read the link for the rest of the exchange. Funny stuff.
someone posted already this one a few pages ago.
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Old 2008-11-20, 17:28   Link #3158
nanafan
horo fan
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: missouri, usa
Age: 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reckoner View Post
Spoiler for Funny Commericials:


Spoiler for The Wagon:


Spoiler for Lawyer and a Honest Man:


Spoiler for Another Bill Clinton Joke... They never get old.:


He can explain...

like the jokes. the vending machine commercial was great
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Old 2008-11-20, 22:56   Link #3159
Urzu 7
Juanita/Kiteless
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: New England
Age: 31
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Old 2008-11-20, 23:28   Link #3160
Evil Rick
Black Dragon
*Graphic Designer
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Netherrealm, thinking who to betray next...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urzu 7 View Post
I don't get it >.o!
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