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Old 2009-01-16, 22:22   Link #3461
NakedAngelX
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Toronto Canada
Installing a Husband =P

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
* Romance 9.5 and
* Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as

* PS 3.0 ,
* Wii 1 .0 and
* Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

* Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate
================================================== ===================


DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
* Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
* Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
* If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
* Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 -program ..These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
* Cooking 3.0 and
* Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Hope this can help you.

Regards

IT Support
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Old 2009-01-16, 22:44   Link #3462
SeijiSensei
AS Oji-kun
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Mucking about
Age: 64
I recommend an upgrade to Golf Clubs 5.0 which can be found on the Mizuno site. You might consider also installing the Golf Lessons 1.0 software on the companion unit.

Hot Lingerie 7.7 can often activate the required plug-ins that may currently be in sleep mode on Husband 1.0.
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Old 2009-01-16, 23:36   Link #3463
Honda Boy Techy
I has a Civic
 
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Tennessee
Age: 26
Ha! Someone just posted a variant of this the other day on TennSpeed.
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Old 2009-01-17, 00:00   Link #3464
Tri-ring
The Censor Bat
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Land of the rising sun
I guess a marriage councel will be called helpdesk and divorce a clean install.

I wonder what a blue screen of death equal to?
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Old 2009-01-17, 00:09   Link #3465
Generic Asian Guy
^_^
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Age: 25
Send a message via MSN to Generic Asian Guy
Spoiler for mature nerd joke:
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Old 2009-01-17, 00:22   Link #3466
0utf0xZer0
Pretentious moe scholar
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Age: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Generic Asian Guy View Post
Spoiler for mature nerd joke:
I'm personally prefer
Spoiler for Mature nerd joke:
.

I also enjoy BBspot's geek pickup line list (warning: some of these are a bit dirty):
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2004/09/t..._up_lines.html
There's also parts two-at least five at that site if you search around a bit.
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Old 2009-01-17, 01:18   Link #3467
King Lycan
User Title eaten by ravenous bunnies
*IT Support
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Zeon
Age: 23
Man when u install A wife make sure you have ur Nag protection software installed to !!!
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Old 2009-01-17, 01:36   Link #3468
TinyRedLeaf
On indefinite hiatus
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Singapore
Age: 39
Who cares about Husband 1.0? Wife 1.0 comes with a lot more bugs!

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources available for other applications.

He also noticed that Wife 1.0 spawns child processes which consume further valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialisation, where it can monitor all other system activity. He discovered that some applications — such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 — are no longer able to run on his system at all, crashing the system whenever selected (even though they always worked fine before).

Also, Wife 1.0 installed some undesired plug-ins by default, such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. These plug-ins have diminished his system performance with each passing day.

Unlike my friend, I decided to avoid the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 7.0. Nonetheless, I still encountered many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 7.0 on top of Girlfriend 6.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 6.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug that I should have known about. Apparently the previous versions of Girlfriend have conficts over shared use of the I/O port. You'd think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now.

To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 6.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing: all versions of Girlfriend continually pop up annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.

What Tech Support advised me to do

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a Utilities & Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is indeed an operating system and designed by its creator to run everything.

Bear in mind that it is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 6.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 6.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 6.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

To avoid this problem, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.1 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet.

Beware though: If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

To avoid such unnecessary hassle, we suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Other useful programs include C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. We recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 24K. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.


Best of luck,
Tech Support
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Old 2009-01-17, 01:37   Link #3469
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by Honda Boy Techy View Post
Ha! Someone just posted a variant of this the other day on TennSpeed.
The joke itself has probably been around the internet world a gazillion times and may be 5 or 10 years old....

However... there's always a new set of eyeballs to "discover it" and raise it from the dead.

Its still fairly funny as a geek gag though...
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Old 2009-01-17, 01:46   Link #3470
Claies
Good-Natured Asshole.
 
 
Join Date: May 2007
Age: 24
Hu$band?! Who the hell uses Hu$band?! And you fruity Wife 10.5 users aren't any better!

I highly recommend throwing all that away, and using BestFriends 8.10 and TwoDGirls 11. They're free, open source, and there are highly supportive online communities. You can freely customize appearances, install as many as you want, copy to your friends, and it doesn't involve any backdoor crap such as Golf Clubs.

Forget the $$$ and embrace the world of open-source.
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Old 2009-01-17, 01:54   Link #3471
0utf0xZer0
Pretentious moe scholar
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Age: 27
I would like to remind all users not to use Alpha versions of Girlfriend. These versions are unauthorized leaks and downloading them will result in severe legal penalties.

Not that some East Asian versions of Girlfriend often look like Alpha versions, even when they aren't.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Claies
I highly recommend throwing all that away, and using BestFriends 8.10 and TwoDGirls 11. They're free, open source, and there are highly supportive online communities. You can freely customize appearances, install as many as you want, copy to your friends, and it doesn't involve any backdoor crap such as Golf Clubs.
TwoDGirls 11 has awesome graphics, particularly with the nekomimi or miko expansions, but the force feedback effects are very lacking. I was forced to simulate these effects myself.
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Old 2009-01-17, 02:43   Link #3472
cuteycindyhoney
Member
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Age: 35
A new mix!


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Old 2009-01-17, 03:22   Link #3473
Papaya
Sup
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Atlanta
Age: 26
Send a message via AIM to Papaya Send a message via MSN to Papaya
Partition hard drive and dual boot
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Old 2009-01-17, 03:28   Link #3474
0utf0xZer0
Pretentious moe scholar
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Age: 27
I'm thinking of switching from Girl with Glasses 1.0 to Girlfriend 1.0. Does anyone have some advice on this matter? I'm kind of worried that I'm going to screw things up.
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Old 2009-01-17, 04:03   Link #3475
Claies
Good-Natured Asshole.
 
 
Join Date: May 2007
Age: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Papaya View Post
Partition hard drive and dual boot
Make sure they don't share the same hard drive. They might corrupt each other and then you'll lose everything.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0 View Post
I would like to remind all users not to use Alpha versions of Girlfriend. These versions are unauthorized leaks and downloading them will result in severe legal penalties.
Your point? I've been pirating multiple copies of every version and so far nothing has happe
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Old 2009-01-17, 06:27   Link #3476
Clarste
Human
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Age: 27
On the other hand, adding version numbers onto the ends of words quickly loses its humor value.
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Old 2009-01-17, 08:15   Link #3477
ganbaru
books-eater youkai
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Betweem wisdom and insanity
Quote:
Originally Posted by Claies View Post
Your point? I've been pirating multiple copies of every version and so far nothing has happe
The Alpha version is a early version, not supposed to be on the market.
Like 0utf0xZer0 said , stay away from those, it better for everyone.
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Old 2009-01-17, 12:41   Link #3478
Evil Rick
Black Dragon
*Graphic Designer
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Netherrealm, thinking who to betray next...
Epic Fail

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Old 2009-01-17, 13:07   Link #3479
Solafighter
Hige
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: God only knows
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Rick View Post
Epic Fail

OMG
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Old 2009-01-17, 13:34   Link #3480
felix
sleepyhead
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: event horizon
Hm.. the mike wire ehh~ stupid reporter.
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