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Old 2007-04-06, 05:38   Link #781
Aoie_Emesai
♪♫ Maya Iincho ♩♬
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Join Date: May 2004
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Herring View Post
Penis allegory?
If it's that, then it's a a bit more laughable this time.
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Old 2007-04-06, 10:00   Link #782
OutPhase
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Old 2007-04-09, 12:52   Link #783
azuma-blade
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Razer_2mb View Post
WTF!?
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Old 2007-04-12, 15:51   Link #784
gummybear
MUDKIP MUD!
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Beside a road, next to a tree
the truth behind easter

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Old 2007-04-12, 19:03   Link #785
ChaosTheory
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Old 2007-04-12, 22:23   Link #786
gummybear
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Location: Beside a road, next to a tree
so what is wrong with it that you have to object?
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Old 2007-04-12, 22:35   Link #787
jedinat
フリーター
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gummybear View Post
so what is wrong with it that you have to object?
I dunno... maybe all the extreme sacrilege? lol
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Old 2007-04-13, 07:55   Link #788
gummybear
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jedinat View Post
I dunno... maybe all the extreme sacrilege? lol
awwww
But then Jesus get to kick butt Blade style in this one at the end, doesn't it evens out?
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Old 2007-04-14, 05:10   Link #789
deathreape98
Clannad Preacher
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In my fantasy dreamworld called Clannad
Age: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oneesama View Post
do you know it takes 17 muscles to smile yet 43 muscles to frown?<--correct me if I am wrong

do you know people say: if you laugh 3 times a day keeps your family doctor away? (ok... i make tat up.... it was from my mom XD )
but FACTS: laugh have the ability to cope with major illness and the stress of life's problems. also bring balance to all the components of the immune system, which helps us fight off diseases. ^^ so

>>>>>SO THIS THREAD IS FOR YOU TO RELAX AND LAUGH AWAY<<<<<

p.s. Do you also know a person who studies laughter is called a Gelotologist ^^
--> I didnt know there was such occupation

hm........
1st attempt

A boy wrote this letter home from Camp:
Drear Mom and Dad:
Gue$$ what I need? Plea$e $end $ome $oon.
Be$t Wi$he$
Your $on $ammy

His parents wrote back:
Dear Sammy:
NOthing much is happening here. Please write aNOther letter soon. Bye for NOw. Love, Mom and Dad

2nd attempt

Counselor: how did you get that horrible swelling on your nose?
Jimmy: I bent over to smell a brose.
Counselor: There is no b in rose.
Jimmy held up a rose: There was in this one.

haha..... hope that make you laugh
hahahha...hahaha...haha...ha.... ok, it wasnt funny. ill be blunt, all the jokes on the first page sucked. didnt bother reading anymore pages:P
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Old 2007-04-14, 07:11   Link #790
rei
Nya~ I'm a good actress
 
 
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Postman: Excuse me, is this Mr. Smith's house?

Mr. Smith: Yes, it is. I'm Mr. Smith.

Postman: Oh thank goodness! I had a hard time trying to find this house. This is for you *handing over a letter*

Mr. Smith: Oh, thank you so much for your trouble. But if you had a hard time trying to find my house, why don't you just send it to the post office?

Postman:
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Old 2007-04-16, 08:42   Link #791
gummybear
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Old 2007-04-26, 07:07   Link #792
KNETTER2000
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: The Netherlands
Age: 37

this made me mess up my monitor with coke..




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Old 2007-04-26, 14:56   Link #793
Risaa
Evil Little Pixie
 
 
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I am so sorry for posting this. It just makes me crack up everytime I see it. (This is graffiti found in SF.) XD
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Old 2007-04-26, 15:08   Link #794
ibreatheanime
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: St. Louis MO
Heres a terrible joke I heard the other day.

Why can a bike not stand up on its own?



punchline:Because its two tired(too tired)

Its terrible, I know.
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Old 2007-04-27, 09:21   Link #795
KNETTER2000
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: The Netherlands
Age: 37
I guess it;s not really a laugh, but more of a selftest :P

Quote:
If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Try them yourself.


Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
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Old 2007-04-27, 11:13   Link #796
Spectacular_Insanity
Ha ha ha ha ha...
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Age: 25
^^ Omg. O_o
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Old 2007-04-27, 11:26   Link #797
Aoie_Emesai
♪♫ Maya Iincho ♩♬
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Lol, and I read it all that damn thing too. 10/10
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Old 2007-04-27, 14:36   Link #798
Knightmare213
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by KNETTER2000 View Post
I guess it;s not really a laugh, but more of a selftest :P
Alrighty! I managed to read at least 95% of all the lines without screwing up! Good thing I'm an English Major already.
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Old 2007-04-27, 17:33   Link #799
KNETTER2000
Rei! What have you done!
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: The Netherlands
Age: 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knightmare213 View Post
Alrighty! I managed to read at least 95% of all the lines without screwing up! Good thing I'm an English Major already.
major?.. majority? or is it mayor!

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Old 2007-05-01, 13:28   Link #800
KNETTER2000
Rei! What have you done!
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: The Netherlands
Age: 37


ouch!
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