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Old 2009-11-13, 06:13   Link #2241
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
But you are aware of what you did back then right?
You potentially rejected your future husband because at first they did not fit into a category that you deemed worthy of your time.
You’re a strong minded girl, so I doubt you dumping a guy if you felt it wasn’t really going well would be too despairing for you, however to slam guys out before they even get a chance (and they did come up to approach you) is to damn yourself too.

9/10, probably those boys at the time were just simply horny little bastards, but who’s to say after hanging out with you, seeing the kind of girl you were, the morals you hold and how stubborn you can be, that they won’t think twice and go;
‘wait… she’s kinda different. Okay maybe at first I was just trying to get into her pants, but methinks, I may actually like her…’
I said it once here IIRC. What I am contrasted a bit too much with the big majority of people I knew in HS back then. (For example, talking about marriage and babies so seriously kind of made me look like a freak at that time )

The criticism from some people, and around me, to see bunch of types of relationships/behaviors that I dislike kind of killed my interest in dating a high school boy.

Beside the ones in which I had zero interest in (sounds rude, sorry. And I think you might have an idea on the kind of man I would have liked to step in my life at that time), I was not seeing myself mass dating boys till finding one that would change his behaviors, or till I find one who had a secret side that I would have liked etc. I might sound like a rude/bad person, but in some cases, I don't think that giving false hopes to somebody I was not attracted to to begin with was a good thing to do either. That doesn't mean I didn't let them try to befriend me though. But blunt as ever, I didn't let things being unclear about friends and possible love interest. Kind of helped to know people better though.

That, and to be honest, maybe also that while I was spotting the immaturity of the boys in HS, maybe I was myself not mature enough to handle the boys I was talking about.

While I do realize that I turned down them that easily (too easily, maybe), I tend to not regret it though (what's done is done), so I don't really think about it.


Quote:
Step out of your immediate ideals from time to time, just to see what potentially lies out there that you may find you like anyways.
Btw, you’ve sent me a few PMs and I apologise for the lack of response, if you have Skype or even AIM/MSN, it’s easier to answer everything in real time, so lemme know
I am not the kind to talk about some things and asking for advices about some things on a public forum, :secretive: :dodges:

And no need to apologize, you said a few times that you are really, really busy I'll send you my msn address

Last edited by Narona; 2009-11-13 at 06:50.
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Old 2009-11-13, 07:02   Link #2242
Ascaloth
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Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
Care to expand on that?
One story I've heard is this one time, when girls who were from single-sex schools in the secondary level came to school for the first day of classes in the pre-university level, they sat around with their legs open just like guys do, while wearing school skirts, and with guys present in the classroom too, apparently not knowing any better. From what I've heard, a female classmate who came from a co-ed secondary-level school had to go up to them and mention this awkward faux pas they apparently didn't even realise existed.

(Of course, the other story I've heard is that girls from single-sex schools are more likely to have experimented with same-sex relationships before, but eh, I figured that stuff's kind of universal in nature. )
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Old 2009-11-13, 09:36   Link #2243
Mystique
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
One story I've heard is this one time, when girls who were from single-sex schools in the secondary level came to school for the first day of classes in the pre-university level, they sat around with their legs open just like guys do, while wearing school skirts, and with guys present in the classroom too, apparently not knowing any better. From what I've heard, a female classmate who came from a co-ed secondary-level school had to go up to them and mention this awkward faux pas they apparently didn't even realise existed.
That is interesting though, I'm kinda split with it. Yes, they should be told bout it so they're aware of how easy it is to tease a guy, then again can't you people really just turn a blind eye to it and get on if their stance isn't directly aimed at you?
Quote:
(Of course, the other story I've heard is that girls from single-sex schools are more likely to have experimented with same-sex relationships before, but eh, I figured that stuff's kind of universal in nature. )
Nah, more a case of done to death male fantasy of having two of a same good thing, or girls wanting to try just cause it may be 'cool' or they were drunk (explains a good number of kissing cases in the UK, at least)
And then we have peeps like me, who renounce the gender and prefer to hung out with guys

Then again, boarding schools for guys, all that testoserone going about, the fights, agressiveness, horniness, etc.
Maybe then it's kinda universal in nature for guys to wank togther, or on each other or get really physical after one drunken horny night...?
(it is rhetorical, btw)
But it would be interesting to hear from the male end, what it must have been like to be back studying with females again after being cooped up with guys for ages.
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Old 2009-11-13, 10:22   Link #2244
Ascaloth
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Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
That is interesting though, I'm kinda split with it. Yes, they should be told bout it so they're aware of how easy it is to tease a guy, then again can't you people really just turn a blind eye to it and get on if their stance isn't directly aimed at you?
Even if it isn't, that kind of stance viewed from any angle still gives the 'free access!' vibe to anyone looking. As a guy, I'd say stuff like that is rather hard to ignore.
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Old 2009-11-13, 11:55   Link #2245
Mistypearl
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@Mystique
Thanks for your insight, I'm sorry the girls at your school were like that, thankfully I haven't had any of it (at least I hope!) Also is there a certain reason why I have to pay attention to how they sit and put their hands besides taking up room?
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Old 2009-11-13, 16:23   Link #2246
Mystique
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Originally Posted by Mistypearl View Post
@Mystique
Thanks for your insight, I'm sorry the girls at your school were like that, thankfully I haven't had any of it (at least I hope!) Also is there a certain reason why I have to pay attention to how they sit and put their hands besides taking up room?
Hee hee, it was public school life, happens to the most of us anyways. Naturally there was fun times too, but for most part, it was 'meh' for me.

As for 'reason', not really, it was just something I didn't quite realise during 6th form either as well as the answer being rather amusing, but it's nothing important.
Just note it down as something to ask a male friend someday if you get the chance.
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Old 2009-11-13, 17:54   Link #2247
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
One story I've heard is this one time, when girls who were from single-sex schools in the secondary level came to school for the first day of classes in the pre-university level, they sat around with their legs open just like guys do, while wearing school skirts, and with guys present in the classroom too, apparently not knowing any better. From what I've heard, a female classmate who came from a co-ed secondary-level school had to go up to them and mention this awkward faux pas they apparently didn't even realise existed.
I've never been in a non co-ed environment and I find that occasionally when I wear skirts, I sometimes do this without thinking about it. I can't stand sitting with my legs pressed together and my knees bent. It may look prim and proper and keep people from getting an eyeful, it makes my knees hurt. x_X

If I don't forget I usually sit with my legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles, which can be a problem for people if I'm sitting near a walkway...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
(Of course, the other story I've heard is that girls from single-sex schools are more likely to have experimented with same-sex relationships before, but eh, I figured that stuff's kind of universal in nature. )
I'm pretty sure this mostly exists in fiction and not in real life. >.>;
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Old 2009-11-13, 18:49   Link #2248
whitepearl
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Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post

I'm pretty sure this mostly exists in fiction and not in real life. >.>;
I knew of two girls (went to separate all-girl's schools) who kinda did some experimenting with fellow classmates (in a NON-school setting, of course).
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Old 2009-11-13, 19:35   Link #2249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
I'm pretty sure this mostly exists in fiction and not in real life. >.>;
I know people in RL who have done it. It just comes down to what you're attracted to, really, not whether or not it's done in real life or fiction.
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Old 2009-11-13, 19:42   Link #2250
synaesthetic
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... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT. I meant that the whole all-girls-schools being giant lesbian orgies is a (typically) male fantasy that only shows up in fiction.

And if you didn't gather that from what I said, wow, the lack of food really is fucking with my thought processes.
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Old 2009-11-13, 19:45   Link #2251
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Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT. I meant that the whole all-girls-schools being giant lesbian orgies is a (typically) male fantasy that only shows up in fiction.

And if you didn't gather that from what I said, wow, the lack of food really is fucking with my thought processes.
Well, no, I got it, I'm just saying that it isn't always a thing in fiction.... okay, the lesbian orgies is, but it isn't unusual for students to experiment with each other even if they aren't in a same sex school.
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Old 2009-11-13, 20:17   Link #2252
Mistypearl
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I know of people dating or experimenting, but usually it's behind closed doors (somewhat literally haha) but the only open couple that I've seen was my freshman year, and that was just hand holding, etc really. The whole lesbian orgies bit really isn't true. Unless you ended up drunk in a hallway which is really unlikely. Sorry
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Old 2009-11-14, 01:45   Link #2253
Ascaloth
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Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
I'm pretty sure this mostly exists in fiction and not in real life. >.>;
There was this cute girl in junior college I had a major crush on back in my day, and one of my classmates who came from the same girl's secondary school as her once confided to me that said cute girl was once involved with another girl at the school. She was worried I might not take this well, but needless to say, I just got more intrigued than anything.

....what? I never claimed to be a saint. >_>

Oh, and at least here in Singapore, there are certain girl's schools which have a reputation for its students being more likely to have experimented like this at least once. If there are any of my countrymen reading this, I'm sure you'll know what I mean when I mention Crescent Girls. >_>
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Old 2009-11-14, 13:13   Link #2254
Narona
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Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
....what? I always claimed to be a pervert. >_>


Quote:
Oh, and at least here in Singapore, there are certain girl's schools which have a reputation for its students being more likely to have experimented like this at least once. If there are any of my countrymen reading this, I'm sure you'll know what I mean when I mention Crescent Girls. >_>
What they mean, I think, is that the case of schools in which all the majority of girls are or tried a lesbian relationship doesn't exist.

In this time and age, there's chances to be cases of lesbianism, yeah, but the majority of an entire school? I have some difficulty to believe it.
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Old 2009-11-14, 14:28   Link #2255
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I dunno if I've ever felt a girl to be out of my league. I guess I was/am only attracted to girls who seem possible for me.

As far as rampant lesbianism in schools, I can't say I know too much about that so I wont comment. All I know is the percentage in my high school was rather low.
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Old 2009-11-14, 15:05   Link #2256
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I feel like the odd one out now. My school had a very high percentage of gays and lesbians, and they were all very open about it by the time I was a senior. It really wasn't unusual to see girls holding hands or guys wrestling with each other during my last year of high school. People were very open about it.
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Old 2009-11-14, 16:50   Link #2257
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Update on my situation!

Well after working together wednesday, I found out the person she's seeing i her roomate, which was passed onto me by a mutual friend, So I concluded that it was best to leave this matter alone. However, the last couple of days she's been really talkative especially today. I thought i was making her feel uncomfortable, but it appears the tables have turned and now she's making me uncomfortable. She seems embarrased when we talk, she turns red in the face, and we're talking about work related stuff.

Today our conversation delved into my personal life and my goals more specifically me moving in with a friend,and she was overly flirty today. I know the looking thing means very little but i caught her staring more often than usual,which she would turn her head whenever i looked at her. I feel like im getting mixed signs. I'm truly at a loss for words here, and that rarely happens.
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Old 2009-11-14, 17:27   Link #2258
Walkingcatastrophy
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Ek I feel for you Crusader if you are getting mixed signals. I think that in itself is one of the harder things to figure out in life. I kinda wish people would just wear tags that say "I like you so and so more than so and so." I can't say I really know all the details, but from my experience its good to see how things play out. Got to get to the root of things somehow.
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Old 2009-11-14, 18:02   Link #2259
Miko Miko
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Okay so I want to ask this girl out but I darent.. she'd be my first girlfriend and I dont know how to go about it. We are both bi by the way and good friends
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Old 2009-11-14, 18:07   Link #2260
Walkingcatastrophy
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I would love to tell you I got some perfect method to tell ya miko, but I don't. Someone else could prob give you some better hints, I've always just gone the direct route once I know the girl a little. Usually I'll just ask "Hey wanna go do something this weekend together?" If she's like "You mean a date?" then I'd reply "Yep. A date, where you want to go."

Again that works for me. I just like to be direct.
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