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Old 2010-01-05, 09:23   Link #2481
cheyannew
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Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
Maybe Cipher is right and I shouldn't just turn a potential friend away just because she makes me a little hot and bothered (in both ways).
I am fairly sure that right now, as with most comments he makes, Cipher is not right.

You are under no obligation to be friends, acquaintances, partners or anything else with people you don't enjoy being around. If someone annoys you, why in the gods' name would you voluntarily be around them, if you can help it? o.O

The fact that your living situation is FAR from ideal and offers little to nothing in the way of personal space would most certainly not help, and I agree with those who suspect that letting her in any further would send the wrong message, not to mention up your stress level, which is not something you need on top of everything else.
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Old 2010-01-05, 09:47   Link #2482
Mystique
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Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
....dude, do you get off on telling people that they may have psychological issues, or something? Shut your trap if you can't avoid making slurs on others' mental stability each time you open your mouth.
The funny thing is I find more offence and being turned off as a female from your tone, your words and your posts onto others, than I do with Cipher.
While I don't agree with his recent opinion/posts although he's probably more thinking in terms of 'being more tolerant/open to people' (albiet the situation with Syna wouldn't help), yours was just downright rude.
(There is being straight to the point, no sugar coating and giving some tough love as advice, but how you carry that through attitude matters greatly).
And if Cipher is known to be irratating or unpleasant, drop a neg rep/report and be on your merry way. :\

But try looking at yourself before you criticise others for their seemingly negative responses that aren't even aimed at you, honestly.
Chill already...
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Old 2010-01-05, 14:18   Link #2483
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
Maybe Cipher is right and I shouldn't just turn a potential friend away just because she makes me a little hot and bothered (in both ways).
Tread carefully here, then. If you think the two of you can be friends then that's all fine and good, but remember that she might take your decision as a chance for a romantic relationship and that in becoming her friend, you're going to be in steady contact with her when your gut says to jump her.
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Old 2010-01-05, 16:08   Link #2484
Cipher
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Tread carefully here, then. If you think the two of you can be friends then that's all fine and good, but remember that she might take your decision as a chance for a romantic relationship and that in becoming her friend, you're going to be in steady contact with her when your gut says to jump her.
I'd say she's already his friend. Its just a matter of controlling and limiting his interactions with her. ..Though, I do wonder, even with hints, if she really sees him that way. There might be a chance of early jumping into conclusions. perhaps little chance, but you can have friends that are attracted to you and yet remain friends. i see many examples (in animes).
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Old 2010-01-05, 16:53   Link #2485
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Originally Posted by Cipher View Post
perhaps little chance, but you can have friends that are attracted to you and yet remain friends. i see many examples (in animes).
And then you have situations where there's an attraction and it completely destroys the friendship and how close you were to your friend. I stand by what I said to Syn. If she wants to be friends with this girl, then she's free to be friends with her. She just needs to be careful and remember what's at stake if they become lovers.
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Old 2010-01-05, 16:57   Link #2486
Cipher
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
And then you have situations where there's an attraction and it completely destroys the friendship and how close you were to your friend.
Yeah... It depends on the individuals' abilities/inabilities to control.
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Old 2010-01-05, 16:59   Link #2487
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Originally Posted by Cipher View Post
Yeah... It depends on the individuals' abilities/inabilities to control.
Are you implying that it's the person's fault if they're in love with their friend? Because from where I'm standing, it sounds like you're saying that.
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Old 2010-01-05, 17:05   Link #2488
Cipher
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
it's the person's fault if they're in love with their friend?
I'm not really sure with this. it, again, depends on the individuals' abilities.
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Old 2010-01-05, 17:06   Link #2489
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Originally Posted by Cipher View Post
I'm not really sure with this. it, again, depends on the individuals' abilities.
So let me see if I have this right. You're saying, basically, that if a person is in love with their friend and it is beyond their ability to control those feelings, then that person is to blame when the friendship is ruined?
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Old 2010-01-05, 17:10   Link #2490
Cipher
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
if a person is in love with their friend and it is beyond their ability to control those feelings, then that person is to blame when the friendship is ruined?
There is no "blame". A person's inability is not his/her fault( at least in this situation ) (in my opinion) though the *cause* is connected to his/her functions and other factors of course.
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Old 2010-01-05, 17:14   Link #2491
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Originally Posted by Cipher View Post
There is no "blame". A person's inability is not his/her fault. (in my opinion) though the *cause* is his/hers and other factors of course.
It seems I misread the tone of your posts, then. From the feeling of the words, it appeared to me that you were implying that the friend in love was the friend who is to blame for the loss of the friendship, though you say that isn't what you meant. My bad.
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Old 2010-01-05, 17:22   Link #2492
Cipher
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
It seems I misread the tone of your posts, then. From the feeling of the words, it appeared to me that you were implying that the friend in love was the friend who is to blame for the loss of the friendship, though you say that isn't what you meant. My bad.
That leads to the question of whether Synaesthetic or the girl is able to or not. perhaps, considering how emotionally motivated the girl is(i think), less interactions are needed. it'd be nice if we're all friends...even though how naive and unlikely it is. Still, decisions(a no/yes) can be made, and to prosper, experiences are to be gained. (that's in my opinion.)
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Old 2010-01-05, 17:47   Link #2493
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Turns out she's actually not attracted to me in that way at all, she's super-friendly with everyone and I just made mountains out of molehills. I guess I subconsciously suggested to myself since I am sexually attracted to her and blew it all up out of proportion...

Oh well, that's one less thing to worry about.
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Old 2010-01-05, 17:52   Link #2494
JRendell
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Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
Turns out she's actually not attracted to me in that way at all, she's super-friendly with everyone and I just made mountains out of molehills. I guess I subconsciously suggested to myself since I am sexually attracted to her and blew it all up out of proportion...

Oh well, that's one less thing to worry about.
You win the prize for defining Life Glad it's sorted however
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Old 2010-01-05, 18:05   Link #2495
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Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
Turns out she's actually not attracted to me in that way at all, she's super-friendly with everyone and I just made mountains out of molehills. I guess I subconsciously suggested to myself since I am sexually attracted to her and blew it all up out of proportion...

Oh well, that's one less thing to worry about.
Well, good to know that whole issue resolved itself rather nicely.
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Old 2010-01-05, 23:42   Link #2496
Ascaloth
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Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
The funny thing is I find more offence and being turned off as a female from your tone, your words and your posts onto others, than I do with Cipher.
While I don't agree with his recent opinion/posts although he's probably more thinking in terms of 'being more tolerant/open to people' (albiet the situation with Syna wouldn't help), yours was just downright rude.
(There is being straight to the point, no sugar coating and giving some tough love as advice, but how you carry that through attitude matters greatly).
And if Cipher is known to be irratating or unpleasant, drop a neg rep/report and be on your merry way. :\

But try looking at yourself before you criticise others for their seemingly negative responses that aren't even aimed at you, honestly.
Chill already...
Look at myself? Madame, I already know I can be a real asshole whenever I want to be. I generally prefer to treat people the way they deserve to be treated, instead of making any unnecessary pretense at civility.
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Old 2010-01-05, 23:59   Link #2497
Mystique
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Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
Look at myself? Madame, I already know I can be a real asshole whenever I want to be. I generally prefer to treat people the way they deserve to be treated, instead of making any unnecessary pretense at civility.
That's an unfortunate trait then cause it serves to only cause disdain towards you unless you're on a personal mission to scorn everyone (directly or indirectly) regardless.
Such unnecessary aggression that serves no purpose but to put people off around you (meaning even if you're committing self righteous judgement on one particular person, you're also making it unpleasant for others near ya)

Anyone can be an asshole, it's easy, but to be civil yet firm commands much more respect and credence to your words when we hear them.
Even if they were to ring true, they'd fall flat on deaf ears.
Why?
Cause your attitude sucked and that’s what sticks in people’s minds, that aura of hostility.
Don't you think that's truly a waste of time and pointless?

It doesn’t attract or gain support but only repel and disgust.
Maybe you don't care cause we're only a bunch of 1's and 0's but someone who you do care about will notice that one day.
In other words, think of me as the girl you like (I believe are currently dating) reacting/feeling the same way as an unfortunate side effect from a backlash that you decided one sunny day to inflict on someone who ‘rightly deserved’ it.

You'd be just screwing yourself over when there was purely no need to all because you decided to forgo a little dose of civility or maturity;
it's kinda a shame to see that in a person. :\
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Old 2010-01-06, 00:50   Link #2498
Ascaloth
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Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
That's an unfortunate trait then cause it serves to only cause disdain towards you unless you're on a personal mission to scorn everyone (directly or indirectly) regardless.
Such unnecessary aggression that serves no purpose but to put people off around you (meaning even if you're committing self righteous judgement on one particular person, you're also making it unpleasant for others near ya)

Anyone can be an asshole, it's easy, but to be civil yet firm commands much more respect and credence to your words when we hear them.
Even if they were to ring true, they'd fall flat on deaf ears.
Why?
Cause your attitude sucked and that’s what sticks in people’s minds, that aura of hostility.
Don't you think that's truly a waste of time and pointless?

It doesn’t attract or gain support but only repel and disgust.
Maybe you don't care cause we're only a bunch of 1's and 0's but someone who you do care about will notice that one day.
In other words, think of me as the girl you like (I believe are currently dating) reacting/feeling the same way as an unfortunate side effect from a backlash that you decided one sunny day to inflict on someone who ‘rightly deserved’ it.

You'd be just screwing yourself over when there was purely no need to all because you decided to forgo a little dose of civility or maturity;
it's kinda a shame to see that in a person. :\


1) What ever happened to not criticising others for "negative responses that aren't even aimed at you"?
2) Why do you care so much about my attitude, and the negative consequences it will have for me? It's almost like you're treating me as family, and that's kind of a scary thought.
3) And really, you make it sound like I'm picking on Cipher just because I feel like it. If only I know how to show you the perfectly good (to me, at least) reasons why I'm doing as I am.
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Old 2010-01-06, 01:35   Link #2499
Mystique
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post


1) What ever happened to not criticising others for "negative responses that aren't even aimed at you"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystique
(There is being straight to the point, no sugar coating and giving some tough love as advice, but how you carry that through attitude matters greatly).
And if Cipher is known to be irratating or unpleasant, drop a neg rep/report and be on your merry way. :\
Your attitude Ascaloth, your attitude, that's all. Telling someone to 'shut their trap' isn't quite criticising now, is it?
Quote:
2) Why do you care so much about my attitude, and the negative consequences it will have for me? It's almost like you're treating me as family, and that's kind of a scary thought.
Mwuahaha, tis all part of my ebil plan~ *rubs hands in glee*

Joke aside, call it just some advice from someone who has been told is 'too nice' on cyberspace.
(As this thread is an advisory one and I as I said in my initial post, I was speaking as a 'female', unnecessary aggression really is an instant turn off).
As I said, you can happily ignore lil virtual ol me, but you risk offending someone who not only you worked hard to gain her attention but actually like and are currently dating.
Don't like seeing a guy shoot himself in the foot with something good going on when there's no need to and no, you don't have to be family for me to point that out.
Quote:
3) And really, you make it sound like I'm picking on Cipher just because I feel like it. If only I know how to show you the perfectly good (to me, at least) reasons why I'm doing as I am.
Dude, you've been like this for aaaaaaaages on Animesuki, are you kidding? xD
You can try to explain it on my profile board if you wish, I'm cool eitherway.
I gain a sense from RB and Chey's posts alone that Cipher probably riles a few people, but you don't see either women insulting or sniping him now, do you?
You can say 'that's just how I roll', I'm just letting you know that there are better ways to do so that aren't as unpleasant for those around you or yourself, with potentially really negative effects.
That's about it. *shrugs*
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Old 2010-01-06, 02:03   Link #2500
Ascaloth
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Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
Your attitude Ascaloth, your attitude, that's all. Telling someone to 'shut their trap' isn't quite criticising now, is it?
True. And the attitude is very much intentional, in fact. I'll explain further in PM or profile.

Quote:
Mwuahaha, tis all part of my ebil plan~ *rubs hands in glee*

Joke aside, call it just some advice from someone who has been told is 'too nice' on cyberspace.
(As this thread is an advisory one and I as I said in my initial post, I was speaking as a 'female', unnecessary aggression really is an instant turn off).
As I said, you can happily ignore lil virtual ol me, but you risk offending someone who not only you worked hard to gain her attention but actually like and are currently dating.
Don't like seeing a guy shoot himself in the foot with something good going on when there's no need to and no, you don't have to be family for me to point that out.
Fair enough, you do have a point there, and no, I'm not nearly as trigger-happy IRL as I am here, as you might have guessed. So I'm not all that worried about shooting myself in the foot with her, but thanks for the thought.

And really, there are times when I'm tempted to respond to you with 'Yes, Mommy' just because.

Quote:
Dude, you've been like this for aaaaaaaages on Animesuki, are you kidding? xD
You can try to explain it on my profile board if you wish, I'm cool eitherway.
I gain a sense from RB and Chey's posts alone that Cipher probably riles a few people, but you don't see either women insulting or sniping him now, do you?
You can say 'that's just how I roll', I'm just letting you know that there are better ways to do so that aren't as unpleasant for those around you or yourself, with potentially really negative effects.
That's about it. *shrugs*
I am no woman. I am a man. Aggression is part of who I am. Rawr.

That said, me being like this for ages? I don't think so! I'm just saving some of my worst behaviour specially for the kid. Again, I'll explain in your profile board.
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