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Old 2010-02-01, 02:18   Link #2841
Haruka_Kitten
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It gets a bit more problematic too, he's sort of a natural Womaniser (and it's even more jaw-droppingly shocking from here: He's a year younger than me!).

I told him about my friend having the hots for him today, and has assured me that he will work something out before something goes horribly wrong, and at this time of my school and social life, packing on all my school work, my home work, my chores, my girlfriend and a whole lot of other outside influences (like budgeting), the last thing I need is 2 of my best friends developing a rift between the 2. A social break up like that is most likely going to drive me around the bend (as I'm sort of used as glue between 2 friends falling out).
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Old 2010-02-01, 13:12   Link #2842
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I told him about my friend having the hots for him today,
I can't imagine hearing something like that. Suddenly hearing that a guy I know have the hots for me. I'm not homophobic, far from it, but it'd feel a bit odd I think, especially from a friend. I did hang out a bit with a gay guy a year or two ago though, a friend of some friends. But he said I wasn't his type =P
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Old 2010-02-01, 22:15   Link #2843
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And relationship over. Joe and I were talking tonight, and we admitted to each other that we act more like close friends than boyfriend and girlfriend... so officially, we're no longer dating and just friends again. Which honestly, I can't say I didn't see coming... the feeling faded rather quickly, which makes me feel a little guilty now.

Though overall, it was a good experience, and I'm glad it ended before things got sour between us. I'm torn between being guilty that I couldn't make it last longer and relieved that I'm still capable of crushing on a guy, even after what happened in May.
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Old 2010-02-01, 22:37   Link #2844
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This poses an interesting question.

Obvious benefits of the flesh aside, what do you think is the difference (emotionally) between Best Friends and Boyfriend-girlfriend (or BF-BF and GF-GF)?
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Old 2010-02-01, 22:37   Link #2845
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I have yet to be in such a scenario, but how many times have I've seen and heard stories of breakups where they either don't speak to each other (at best) or have bad fights. A tough decision to breakup, but it sounds like no feelings were hurt (that much) in the process.
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Old 2010-02-01, 23:03   Link #2846
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A tough decision to breakup, but it sounds like no feelings were hurt (that much) in the process.
There really weren't any feelings to be hurt. I realized during this last week that we were acting more like friends than boyfriend and girlfriend, and to be honest right now it's almost impossible for me to invest time and energy into a relationship with my classes. Not that I wasn't trying, but some things don't work out, in the end. In the end, it was a mutual thing, and we're still friends.
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Old 2010-02-02, 01:22   Link #2847
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There really weren't any feelings to be hurt. I realized during this last week that we were acting more like friends than boyfriend and girlfriend, and to be honest right now it's almost impossible for me to invest time and energy into a relationship with my classes. Not that I wasn't trying, but some things don't work out, in the end. In the end, it was a mutual thing, and we're still friends.
This scenario reminds me a bit of what happened between me and one of my friends, I mentioned her before when you told about that time your and Joe's conversation went a bit out of hand. It didn't go exactly like this, but it was similar in how I think we both mistook friendship for something it wasn't. Luckily for both you and me it seems our misjudgments didn't cause us to loose a friend ^^
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Old 2010-02-02, 14:54   Link #2848
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Originally Posted by solomon View Post
This poses an interesting question.

Obvious benefits of the flesh aside, what do you think is the difference (emotionally) between Best Friends and Boyfriend-girlfriend (or BF-BF and GF-GF)?
I'm wondering about this too, especially in regards to the early stages of a relationship.
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Old 2010-02-02, 15:32   Link #2849
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Originally Posted by solomon View Post
This poses an interesting question.

Obvious benefits of the flesh aside, what do you think is the difference (emotionally) between Best Friends and Boyfriend-girlfriend (or BF-BF and GF-GF)?
Best friends aren't placed under the unwritten hope of becoming life long partners?
They just 'are' due to experience and the contribution to the friendship isn't as critical as one needed for a relationship, best friends tend just go with the flow and support each other as much as poss in ways unique to the people involved.
A relationship will want to go through stages (marriage, kids, moving in together, etc), so different goals for both.
And then, there's the sex.
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Old 2010-02-02, 15:47   Link #2850
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yo people, a little question. is it retarded and stupid to love someone who you met online and who lives a couple of thousand miles away. cuz i'm sorta in that position and for some reason i love her like nothing i ever loved before.
she makes my head go all fuzzy when i talk to her, i'm willing to abandon everything for her.
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Old 2010-02-02, 16:02   Link #2851
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psycho_luny View Post
yo people, a little question. is it retarded and stupid to love someone who you met online and who lives a couple of thousand miles away. cuz i'm sorta in that position and for some reason i love her like nothing i ever loved before.
she makes my head go all fuzzy when i talk to her, i'm willing to abandon everything for her.
Well, consider whether or not such feelings are true. It may be wise to think about obtaining a photo or setting up a video chat just to make sure.
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Old 2010-02-02, 16:13   Link #2852
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Well, consider whether or not such feelings are true. It may be wise to think about obtaining a photo or setting up a video chat just to make sure.
i guess they are, i never felt this way for someone else before, every day i'm not able to talk to her i feel miserable and lonely and when i talk to her it feels like nothing else around me matters. just her and me.
whe both send pictures to eachother, so that isn't a problem.
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Old 2010-02-02, 16:41   Link #2853
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I'd still say be weary. Tread lightly, lest not it turns out sour, and curb the enthusiasm to stop the disappointment that may come when and if you two decide to part ways.
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Old 2010-02-02, 16:45   Link #2854
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Originally Posted by Harufox View Post
I'd still say be weary. Tread lightly, lest not it turns out sour, and curb the enthusiasm to stop the disappointment that may come when and if you two decide to part ways.
i'll keep that in mind thanks
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Old 2010-02-02, 16:53   Link #2855
Habhome
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Originally Posted by psycho_luny View Post
yo people, a little question. is it retarded and stupid to love someone who you met online and who lives a couple of thousand miles away. cuz i'm sorta in that position and for some reason i love her like nothing i ever loved before.
she makes my head go all fuzzy when i talk to her, i'm willing to abandon everything for her.
I have to admit it is a bit naive to call it love unless you've met irl, but who am I to judge who met my dream girl on a forum and am currently dating her.

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Originally Posted by psycho_luny View Post
i guess they are, i never felt this way for someone else before, every day i'm not able to talk to her i feel miserable and lonely and when i talk to her it feels like nothing else around me matters. just her and me.
whe both send pictures to eachother, so that isn't a problem.
Photos is a very good start anyway. It's the first step towards trust.

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I'd still say be weary. Tread lightly, lest not it turns out sour, and curb the enthusiasm to stop the disappointment that may come when and if you two decide to part ways.
Yeah. Tread lightly, definitely. What me and my gf did was that we completely refrained from thinking about the possibility of us being in love, we took it as mutual friendship and that was the basis we met on. Then things turned out for the "worse" but that's another thing since we had met irl then.
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Old 2010-02-02, 17:06   Link #2856
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I'd have to agree with Habhome here. Calling it love without having actually met irl is what I would say is jumping the gun. You can never know for certain until you know what they're like physically instead of what they're like behind a monitor. Take your time with her and be sure to get to know her more before you make any conclusions. And most importantly, be sure that if you want a relationship with her, she also has to be willing to meet with you. It will never work otherwise.
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Old 2010-02-02, 17:06   Link #2857
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psycho_luny View Post
yo people, a little question. is it retarded and stupid to love someone who you met online and who lives a couple of thousand miles away. cuz i'm sorta in that position and for some reason i love her like nothing i ever loved before.
she makes my head go all fuzzy when i talk to her, i'm willing to abandon everything for her.
I'd put off on calling it actual love and abandoning everything for her until you meet her and actually talk to her face to face. As a general question, also, how long have you known her? From your post I'm judging this happened recently, and you could be confusing the initial intense feelings of a crush for genuine love. Like Haru and Hab are saying, tread lightly here. There's no problem with crushing on someone over long distance, but you'd be better to refrain from considering it more than that before you've met them.

You might also want to take a closer look at your feelings before going through with anything. Sometimes you can be extremely attracted to a person, only to actually bond and realize that you're both better as friends instead of lovers.
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Old 2010-02-02, 17:16   Link #2858
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
I'd put off on calling it actual love and abandoing everything for her until you meet her and actually talk to her face to face. As a general question, also, how long have you known her? From your post I'm judging this happened recently, and you could be confusing the initial intense feelings of a crush for genuine love. Like Haru and Hab are saying, tread lightly here. There's no problem with crushing on someone over long distance, but you'd be better to refrain from considering it more than that before you've met them.

You might also want to take a closer look at your feelings before going through with anything. Sometimes you can be extremely attracted to a person, only to actually bond and realize that you're both better as friends instead of lovers.
well i met her here, know her since 2009-06-10. i'm pretty close to go´ng to her, almost have enough for the tickets. and i guess you guys are right.
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Old 2010-02-02, 17:24   Link #2859
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well i met her here, know her since 2009-06-10. i'm pretty close to go´ng to her, almost have enough for the tickets. and i guess you guys are right.
I'm going to be honest, the kind of love you're describing worries me a little. Saying you'll "abandon everything" for her seems just a little too.... intense. That kind of passionate love can burn out quickly and leave some nasty scars in its wake.
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Old 2010-02-02, 17:26   Link #2860
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And seriously, don't even think about wasting your life over someone you've met online. Take things slowly and try to prepare yourself for her in the long term. Don't rush into the first meeting and you have to be sure that she wants to see you as well, but that she's also aware that it's difficult to make up for the distance and that it needs time.
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