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Old 2010-02-09, 01:39   Link #2981
Seitsuki
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No kidding. I guess the internet does offer you anonymity, which allows you to express yourself more freely than if it was in real life but that same anonymity and uncertainty means that there are many people who will try and take advantage. It depends on your luck i guess ^^;
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Old 2010-02-09, 05:20   Link #2982
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I really doubt there are that many people who would take advantage of the internet, it just seems as if there is no reason to do it. Some do it 'for a laugh' but I dont really see any other motive, the other motive is to rape but if you arrange to meet in a public place and then leave before it gets dark - I really can't see a problem.

My mum tells me to "be careful online, 'they're all pedophiles and rapists' on there." which I found rather arrogant. She also said "You always read about it in the papers."
- Thats because they only put that in the papers - they don't exactly write about the other 10million (or w/e) who were perfectly fine.
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Old 2010-02-09, 05:36   Link #2983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Animelover#1 View Post
- Thats because they only put that in the papers - they don't exactly write about the other 10million (or w/e) who were perfectly fine.
That is so right. It's like driving (>.> I know...). We hear of many road accidents (now we gotta call them collisions because accident implies there's nobody to blame), but how many do we actually see?
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Old 2010-02-09, 07:12   Link #2984
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yeah I know, because aparrently it doesn't make for 'good reading'
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Old 2010-02-09, 07:56   Link #2985
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I'm glad I'm not the only one who tried it, haha.

I think my difficulty was because many of the users on it lived in the city which although it's not far distance wise, it's far time wise and I don't care for the city much.
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Old 2010-02-09, 09:57   Link #2986
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I have my doubts about the actual effects of online dating: if people are shy enough so as not to try and socialize in the real world, even after knowing someone over the net and after <insert number of years> they decide to meet irl, they would lack the initiative to take it to the next level...
Quote:
people who will try and take advantage.
if you do decide to try online dating, be wary of these types...they are the ones who will immediately empathize with you in an attempt to look good in your eyes, so you can entrust them with information that reveals a certain pattern to your character, which in turn allows them to guess many things about yourself that you wouldn't want to be known.
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Old 2010-02-09, 10:25   Link #2987
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Perhaps it isn't physical danger, but I've been hearing quite often lately about scammers based in Africa that prowl social media and dating sites, earn the trust of their 'prospective lover' and somehow convince them to send money overseas. Now, I don't know who is naive enough to do this but apparently for some people desperation for love creates an entirely irrational mindset.
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Old 2010-02-09, 10:27   Link #2988
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DragoZERO View Post
I think my difficulty was because many of the users on it lived in the city which although it's not far distance wise, it's far time wise and I don't care for the city much.
My problem seems to be the lack of physical contact. Which isn't to say I want to jump the person, it's just that I'm the kind of girl who takes her cues and reactions from the body language of someone else. The problem with online dating is unless you've met, it's extremely hard to judge a person's mood or tone just by how they type unless you know them very well and can detect the pattern. Even talking on the phone can't really do much.

Granted, this isn't to say those relationships don't work... my father figure on the forum met his wife through an online gaming community, if I remember correctly, and they've been married for nine, ten years.
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Old 2010-02-09, 10:45   Link #2989
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I've never really thought about online dating specifically. I've met someone online and wanted to date them though - more than anyone I've met offline.

That's just how things go. It's not like there's a 'right' way to meet the 'right' person. Often things can be inconvenient. You either work around it or move on. My last girlfriend lived about 2 hours away from me, I didn't like her enough to travel that far, and it was one of the main reasons we broke up fairly quickly. The girl I met online I would gladly travel for hours to see, but she doesn't even live in the same county.
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Old 2010-02-09, 11:16   Link #2990
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChainLegacy View Post
Perhaps it isn't physical danger, but I've been hearing quite often lately about scammers based in Africa that prowl social media and dating sites, earn the trust of their 'prospective lover' and somehow convince them to send money overseas. Now, I don't know who is naive enough to do this but apparently for some people desperation for love creates an entirely irrational mindset.
There are a lot scams like that - in the virtual world and the real world. Scammers and con artists know where to look.

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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
My problem seems to be the lack of physical contact. Which isn't to say I want to jump the person, it's just that I'm the kind of girl who takes her cues and reactions from the body language of someone else. The problem with online dating is unless you've met, it's extremely hard to judge a person's mood or tone just by how they type unless you know them very well and can detect the pattern. Even talking on the phone can't really do much.

Granted, this isn't to say those relationships don't work... my father figure on the forum met his wife through an online gaming community, if I remember correctly, and they've been married for nine, ten years.
Physical interaction is necessary, of course. I see online dating as a means of meeting the person. Almost like going out with your friends and meeting one of their friends. Like others have said, waiting too long to meet the person face to face becomes an obstacle.

And you are a normal girl for reading body language, much better than those who ignore the situation (one time had a girl wanted to make during a movie with kids and parents all around us, lol).
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Old 2010-02-09, 14:05   Link #2991
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DragoZERO View Post
There are a lot scams like that - in the virtual world and the real world. Scammers and con artists know where to look.
The key here is to take it with a pinch of salt. By having experience in the online dating field, it makes it easier to avoid pitfalls that some people seem to fall into.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DragoZERO View Post
Physical interaction is necessary, of course. I see online dating as a means of meeting the person. Almost like going out with your friends and meeting one of their friends. Like others have said, waiting too long to meet the person face to face becomes an obstacle.

And you are a normal girl for reading body language, much better than those who ignore the situation (one time had a girl wanted to make during a movie with kids and parents all around us, lol).
Yes, physical contact is vital. It allows you to actually see the person in the same space as you, understand their personality a bit more, their habits, and it allows you to get intimate with the person if you so wish. Reading the bodylanguage is a good talent (and one I wish I had when my first girlfriend dumped me. For god sakes she used the Beyonce song "Single Ladies". Now I hate that song xP).
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Old 2010-02-09, 14:11   Link #2992
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Originally Posted by ChainLegacy View Post
Perhaps it isn't physical danger, but I've been hearing quite often lately about scammers based in Africa that prowl social media and dating sites, earn the trust of their 'prospective lover' and somehow convince them to send money overseas. Now, I don't know who is naive enough to do this but apparently for some people desperation for love creates an entirely irrational mindset.
I really wonder who'd fall for that, I'd never pay the tickets for someone I've never met before. With my GF I have now though t's another thing, since we have met in real life several times so I know she's for real and not a con artist.

But it is something to keep in mind to never fall for. For no reason whatsoever should you pay the ticket for the other person before you have met at least once or twice.
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Old 2010-02-09, 14:38   Link #2993
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Originally Posted by Seitsuki View Post
No kidding. I guess the internet does offer you anonymity, which allows you to express yourself more freely than if it was in real life but that same anonymity and uncertainty means that there are many people who will try and take advantage. It depends on your luck i guess ^^;
Actually, even people I know in real life tend to be more open about themselves online.

And if the person isn't quite sure what they think about something, the slower pace of most online communication can give them time to think it over. First time I confessed to a girl I did it in person, but I actually had to wait until the next e-mail she sent me to get her real thoughts on the matter were. She wasn't really in a mental state to answer me in person because I shocked her pretty badly.
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Old 2010-02-09, 14:44   Link #2994
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Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0 View Post
First time I confessed to a girl I did it in person, but I actually had to wait until the next e-mail she sent me to get her real thoughts on the matter were. She wasn't really in a mental state to answer me in person because I shocked her pretty badly.
Eh? Scare her much. I'd understand if they were taken aback, but shocked? So how'd it pan out?
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Old 2010-02-09, 18:27   Link #2995
Animelover#1
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yeah, i'm curious too. Hit me with it.
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Old 2010-02-09, 23:07   Link #2996
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Eh? Scare her much. I'd understand if they were taken aback, but shocked? So how'd it pan out?
I wouldn't say she was scared, but she was nervous. As it turns out, she thought I wanted an immediate response and she wasn't prepared for that, since we barely knew each other yet at the time. I basically told her not to worry about it for the moment, which seemed to do the trick since we've seen each other on a fairly regular basis since.
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Old 2010-02-10, 03:20   Link #2997
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Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0 View Post
I wouldn't say she was scared, but she was nervous. As it turns out, she thought I wanted an immediate response and she wasn't prepared for that, since we barely knew each other yet at the time. I basically told her not to worry about it for the moment, which seemed to do the trick since we've seen each other on a fairly regular basis since.
All's well that ends well, I suppose.
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Old 2010-02-10, 13:43   Link #2998
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Okay, this isn't exactly dating advice, but this is the best thread to ask for help with this issue...

As pretty much everyone here knows at this point, while I've seen some cute guys, right now I'm not especially interested in actually pursuing a relationship with any of them. The problem is that my family doesn't know this; I'm constantly being asked if I've approached any cute boys, if I'm interested in someone, and constantly given advice on how to approach said cute boys and strike up a friendship with them.

I know my family means well, and they just worry about me since I live on my own and other than my calling them, they don't really know how well I socialize. And in some matters, it doesn't help that my sister has a boyfriend. But it's starting to rub my nerves raw, and I don't have the heart to tell them that right now I'm just completely disinterested in a relationship in case it backfires.

So what do I do?
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Old 2010-02-10, 14:00   Link #2999
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Okay, this isn't exactly dating advice, but this is the best thread to ask for help with this issue...

As pretty much everyone here knows at this point, while I've seen some cute guys, right now I'm not especially interested in actually pursuing a relationship with any of them. The problem is that my family doesn't know this; I'm constantly being asked if I've approached any cute boys, if I'm interested in someone, and constantly given advice on how to approach said cute boys and strike up a friendship with them.

I know my family means well, and they just worry about me since I live on my own and other than my calling them, they don't really know how well I socialize. And in some matters, it doesn't help that my sister has a boyfriend. But it's starting to rub my nerves raw, and I don't have the heart to tell them that right now I'm just completely disinterested in a relationship in case it backfires.

So what do I do?
i would say to get them of your back at leat for a while. lie and say that you've recently started seeng someone. don't make it complicated, to much details are hard to remember.
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Old 2010-02-10, 14:09   Link #3000
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I'd definitely not follow psycho's advice. Lying wouldn't solve it since they'd try and get information out of you. I'd just tell them what you said here, that you're not interested at the moment. And if they can't accept that and stop bothering you then they need to re-think some of their values I'd say.
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