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Old 2010-02-12, 18:50   Link #3041
Haruka_Kitten
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GN0010 Nosferatu View Post
Do you want to give me advice? I feel somewhat experienced as is really, but I can always use newer, more updated INTEL.

Heh, in all honestly really, I'm a pessimist, don't get me wrong. I'll do my best to see if the relationship can go anywhere. But it's my nature to doubt, and not have any confidence in myself.

Sooner or later, people grow tired of me.
Advice coming from me isn't going to be, well, professional. I've only ever dated 2 girls in my lifetime.

I can't really suggest anything, other than that tomorrow is Valentine's day and you should probably think of something special to give her.
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Old 2010-02-12, 19:07   Link #3042
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GN0010 Nosferatu View Post
Not over here, tomorrow is the 13th, you're about...a day ahead. I do aim to give her a card and some sweets. Maybe something a little extra, not sure what though.

Heh, this is actually one of the first times I've been seeing someone while Valentine's Day has taken place. So, looks like I won't have to be dug in like a tick in my little cave.


or dramatically depressed...
The international dateline is something that never ceases to piss me off...
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Old 2010-02-12, 19:24   Link #3043
Mystique
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GN0010 Nosferatu View Post
Do you want to give me advice? I feel somewhat experienced as is really, but I can always use newer, more updated INTEL.

Heh, in all honestly really, I'm a pessimist, don't get me wrong. I'll do my best to see if the relationship can go anywhere. But it's my nature to doubt, and not have any confidence in myself.

Sooner or later, people grow tired of me.
Why are you deleting your posts when people are trying to interact with you?
That and being a pessimist may be your 'nature', but it's something you can fight against for the sake of giving yourself some happiness.
This being from someone who one of her best friends is really struggling just to be 'happy', but he's trying and while his pessimistic sentiments get the better of him some days, it's his own conscious decision to not let it ruin the relationship he's in that more or less will be his to settle for life with. So while the doubts are there, he simply fights through them all and you can do the same.

While our characteristic natures influence us heavily, it's up to us to let them take over our lives, or rather, its just something you like to be cause its what you know or are used to it, rather than trying to step into the unknown and into a situation which may actually work better for you.

Don't give her a reason to 'grow tired of you', if things truly are working well and you're into her, fight to work on your negatives while strengthening your positives. This includes the 'no confidence' situation, even if you don't or can't see that you're doing well, just keep working at achieving what you want and being focused.
Eventually, small drops of confidence appear, usually on basis of gaining very small achievements.
(But, nonetheless all the more valuable).

PS: If there's no advice to give to someone or no new situation about, this thread can drop for a few days, you know
Just tossing that out there, seems to be quite a few random or non topic posts here and there while I was catching up over the last few pages.
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Old 2010-02-12, 19:51   Link #3044
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GN0010 Nosferatu View Post
I was told that this thread is more about, people either asking advise on relationships, or talking about some problems they might have.
The title says "Dating". Not "Dating problems/advice".
So posts discussing successful dates should be pleasantly welcome, from my point of view anyway.

That being said.

Valentine's closing in and my GF and me will be separated by 1070km during it. I promised to make it up to her by taking her on a date when she came here on the 27th instead. Can you guess where she wants to go on said date? I bet not. She wants to visit an old sewer in my city to crawl through it and find a small plastic box which is hidden in there

How many girls would consider that a date and not torture? xD
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Old 2010-02-12, 20:03   Link #3045
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Habhome View Post
...She wants to visit an old sewer in my city to crawl through it and find a small plastic box which is hidden in there

How many girls would consider that a date and not torture? xD
Hey, precious childhood memories? I remember a few things I did as a child that I'll probably never do again. I was telling someone about how I found an abandoned escalator behind some clothes display racks against a glass wall. I snuck behind the glass through an opening and found this unused escalator with 2 wooden chocks glued to the hand rails and a door at the top. I never went up, but if it's still there I might.
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Old 2010-02-12, 20:20   Link #3046
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Habhome View Post
How many girls would consider that a date and not torture? xD
Hey, if it's something she wants to do and something she finds fun, sounds like a date to me. Nothing's ever a torture when it's something you want to do.
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Old 2010-02-12, 20:44   Link #3047
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Hey, if it's something she wants to do and something she finds fun, sounds like a date to me. Nothing's ever a torture when it's something you want to do.
Lol well it's a date if they both want to do it and enjoy it when they do And I have the gut feeling they will enjoy it, as crazy as it may be.
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Old 2010-02-12, 20:51   Link #3048
Mystique
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GN0010 Nosferatu View Post
I was told that this thread is more about, people either asking advise on relationships, or talking about some problems they might have.

In retrospect, talking about a date I have might not be the best way to start off. Know what I'm saying?
Talking about an actual date may have put this thread back on topic for a long time
Yes for a while, it became pretty engrossed and heavy on advice and issues (which was nice tbh), however these were from people trying to take that first step to landing a date.
Doesn't mean it stops there, since the dating process is a drawn out one for most part, so stories related to nice ones are cool too, if you have a point, reason or advice to give from them.
Quote:
Another thing is, I kinda had my heart broken back in September 08, and while I've had two relationships since then, I'm somewhat, doubtful of myself.

Granted, the two relationships I had were...mediocre at best. One was ok, another one was 6 months worth of WASTED time I'll never get back.

After having someone say "I love you" end up living you for someone else after two years, you're gonna end up beating yourself up sooner or later. I have a constant feeling, that one day, people will just grow tired of me, because she eventually did.

That doesn't mean that this girl I'm seeing is gonna do that, but I worry over my insecurities a lot ever since 08. Thinking that the same thing will happen over and over again.
2 relationships within 18 months of being emotionally crushed to the point that you still can't work past your insecurities?
Methinks the two relationships have done more harm than the 08 one itself, where was the time to heal and lick your wounds before making yourself 1 half out of two with someone else?
(Unless they were rebounds)

And there isn't such a thing of 'waste of time of my life', as long as you learn from the experience.
Yes, the result didn't bode well, but sometimes it's purely the experience that was needed to teach you something about yourself.
At the end of the day, it's a mental mindset of a person what can make a terrible situation devour them or if they work to learn/ become stronger from it.
"What doesn't kill you..."
Your fears are justified but again, are you really gonna let them rule ya?
You've entered a relationship (or taking the steps that may lead to one) where you don't or can't fully trust the girl or give her a complete benefit of doubt cause she has the potential to hurt you.
Do remember that you have just as much potential to hurt her, badly. More times that not, it isn't something people plan to do or even forsee in the future, but it sadly happens.
What happens after that, how the people involved handle it, is what counts.
And so, we're all taking risks with each other, it's the rules of Life, my dear, but we do so in hope, while being sensible and careful as much as possible, of course

You got courage enough to try again (for reasons, I'm not sure though, are you doing mass rebounds here for the sake of not being single for a year or so), so if you can manage that much, then work on not projecting your insecurities onto a new person.
Sometimes subconsciously, it'll influence us to behaving in a way that does lead to the unwanted result, purely cause we were expecting it from the start, so it becomes like a;
'see, I knew it'd happen. Good thing I wasn't optimistic (thus sincerely tried) from the start'.
I kinda see that as more of a shame of the person throwing something potentially amazing away.

Learn to live and work with your fears but don't let them dictate your life.
That goes for relationships and everything else you do. We’re all gonna ship out eventually and none of us have Shinigami eyes to know ‘when’, (today, tomorrow, 5 years time, etc) so enjoy life and get as much out of it as you can while you’re here.
More smiling memories, less brooding, monotonous, miserable ones.

Anyways, good luck.
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Old 2010-02-13, 04:16   Link #3049
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GN0010 Nosferatu View Post
Nah, I don't think they were rebounds. If you wanna talk about rebounds, talk to me ex. She had a new boyfriend only two weeks after the break up. My first relationship didn't start until January 09, the break up occured in September 08. The next one (albeit dreadful) started in April. So, I don't think they were rebounds, as i did have some genuine good times.

But I know what you're saying. Why let my fears and insecurities get the best of me? I try to not let that happen, but time and time again I let it. In all honesty i shouldn't, people tell me I'm all around good person, in both personality and looks, yet I'm the only one who can't really see it.

But...my second date did just finish about 15 minutes ago, and it went quite well. What her and I originally planned didn't really happen (yet at the same time it did ). So...I guess so far so good. So....heres to forth coming good times right?
*grabs champagne, and gets told off for underage drinking shortly afterwards* I can only say it'll most likely get better from here on in.
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Old 2010-02-13, 05:18   Link #3050
Habhome
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Originally Posted by GN0010 Nosferatu View Post
Yikes! That is quite the distance.

Where did she go?
Nowhere. It's rather that she won't go anywhere that is the problem. She lives in Czech and me in Sweden. (I forgot that you weren't in on that fact ^^)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Harufox View Post
Hey, precious childhood memories? I remember a few things I did as a child that I'll probably never do again. I was telling someone about how I found an abandoned escalator behind some clothes display racks against a glass wall. I snuck behind the glass through an opening and found this unused escalator with 2 wooden chocks glued to the hand rails and a door at the top. I never went up, but if it's still there I might.
Nope, no childhood memories involved. She's never been to the area ever in her life.
And nice with the escalator =P

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Hey, if it's something she wants to do and something she finds fun, sounds like a date to me. Nothing's ever a torture when it's something you want to do.
She will definitely find it fun. We're both dedicated geocachers so we have explores quite a few similar areas already together. But it sounds a bit odd to go on a date to a sewer pipe =P

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoko Takeo View Post
Lol well it's a date if they both want to do it and enjoy it when they do And I have the gut feeling they will enjoy it, as crazy as it may be.
As I said to RB, we will definitely enjoy it. I've been down there at the cache twice already. Now I get to guide her to it =P
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Old 2010-02-13, 06:16   Link #3051
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Good news. If your GMT is +12.00 hours, you're 15 minutes into Valentine's day. If you're like me, you have another 1hr 45min to go, and if you're in the other direction of Greenwich, you have another day to organise your Valentine's.
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Old 2010-02-13, 10:18   Link #3052
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GN0010 Nosferatu View Post
So, after two dates ( and a few kisses) is getting something for her on V-day, fine?

Doesn't seem too forward or anything?
Doesn't seem too forward to me, at least judging from how things have gone for you so far.
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Old 2010-02-13, 13:19   Link #3053
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Originally Posted by GN0010 Nosferatu View Post
So, after two dates ( and a few kisses) is getting something for her on V-day, fine?

Doesn't seem too forward or anything?
Something small. You don't want to scare her away or raise the bar too high.
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Old 2010-02-13, 13:27   Link #3054
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Originally Posted by DragoZERO View Post
Something small. You don't want to scare her away or raise the bar too high.
What Drag said.
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Old 2010-02-13, 14:25   Link #3055
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Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I can't do anything with my girlfriend. Because I live in a homeless shelter and have zero privacy, and don't have the money to rent a hotel room for the day. And the shelter treats people living there like children, so there's no way we can do anything. At all.

This sucks. =|
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Old 2010-02-13, 14:25   Link #3056
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Small box of chocolates?
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Old 2010-02-13, 14:26   Link #3057
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With the money I don't have, yeah...

I want to have sex with her, because it hasn't been able to happen due to logistical concerns. This is annoying me tremendously.

Shit I wish I had more friends here, at least then maybe someone would be able to loan us a guest room for a few hours. ><
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Old 2010-02-13, 14:28   Link #3058
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Just in case if anyone didn't realise, cat-ear hairbands make good V-day gifts, coupled with the excuse of "I want to see how cute you look in that."

Of course, this suggestion is packaged with a disclaimer : the author of this post is not responsible for any heart failures. Thank you.
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Old 2010-02-13, 14:34   Link #3059
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Quote:
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I can't do anything with my girlfriend. Because I live in a homeless shelter and have zero privacy, and don't have the money to rent a hotel room for the day. And the shelter treats people living there like children, so there's no way we can do anything. At all.

This sucks. =|
Doesn't she have a place to invite you to?
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Old 2010-02-13, 14:43   Link #3060
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
Just in case if anyone didn't realise, cat-ear hairbands make good V-day gifts, coupled with the excuse of "I want to see how cute you look in that."

Of course, this suggestion is packaged with a disclaimer : the author of this post is not responsible for any heart failures. Thank you.
I need one of those. Name a shop that would normally sell them
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