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Old 2008-01-06, 21:33   Link #381
Darkman.exe213
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Thanks for the help so far, guys. I was thinking more along the lines of lunch BEFORE the movie. Would that work?
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Old 2008-01-06, 21:54   Link #382
Chibi Nasu
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I think after the movie would be better. If you go out for lunch before the movie, there may be possible moments of silence when neither person can think of a conversation. On the other hand, going out afterwards gives you both something to talk about--the movie. Use that to springboard a lively conversation.
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Old 2008-01-07, 05:11   Link #383
Supah Em
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Originally Posted by Darkman.exe213 View Post
I wouldn't really say I was paranoid, I just didn't know any better. I've never been on MySpace before, and I've never had a girlfriend before, so this whole thing is fairly new to me.

And I already figured out that she's not avoiding me. I've seen her put up an away message without going idle even when I'm not online.


*cough*cough*

sorry to burst your bubble dude, but these two words should never be put in the same paragraph.

myspace will NEVER be the place to find your FIRST girlfriend. trust me, you'll hurt a LOT. given the reputation of myspace(in terms of relationship building, that is), i can safely say that most people will agree to what i said.
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Old 2008-01-07, 06:25   Link #384
Densha
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anybody from asia?
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Old 2008-01-07, 20:47   Link #385
Darkman.exe213
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Quote:
Originally Posted by supahem View Post
*cough*cough*

sorry to burst your bubble dude, but these two words should never be put in the same paragraph.

myspace will NEVER be the place to find your FIRST girlfriend. trust me, you'll hurt a LOT. given the reputation of myspace(in terms of relationship building, that is), i can safely say that most people will agree to what i said.
You got the wrong idea. I've known this person in real life for a while now. It's just that I rarely see her.(NO, I didn NOT meet her on MySpace)
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Old 2008-01-07, 22:40   Link #386
Satomi87
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I'm a girl who had a boyfriend and a girlfriend.I currently dating with my girlfriend and I afraid my boyfriend will find out about my girlfriend.What I'm going to do to prevent it from happen?
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Old 2008-01-07, 22:47   Link #387
Darkman.exe213
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satomi87 View Post
I'm a girl who had a boyfriend and a girlfriend.I currently dating with my girlfriend and I afraid my boyfriend will find out about my girlfriend.What I'm going to do to prevent it from happen?
EDIT: If you read what I posted earlier, nevermind. I thought you were having an affair or something. D:

Just say that your girlfriend is just your friend. I guess you could try to explain the whole thing to your girlfriend and then try to get your ex-boyfriend to understand with time. However, it really depends on how long ago you broke up with your boyfriend.
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Old 2008-01-07, 22:53   Link #388
Spectacular_Insanity
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So.... the girl I like already has a boyfriend. I am not completely sure as to the strength of said relationship, but I feel as if I would be more compatable. The situation could get complicated. She's a good friend at the moment, so I don't want to risk offending her and risking our friendship. What do I do?
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Old 2008-01-07, 23:20   Link #389
Vestus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spectacular_Insanity View Post
So.... the girl I like already has a boyfriend. I am not completely sure as to the strength of said relationship, but I feel as if I would be more compatable. The situation could get complicated. She's a good friend at the moment, so I don't want to risk offending her and risking our friendship. What do I do?
"All is fair in love and war"

That quote is incomplete IMHO. It should be "All is fair in love and war, but honor should be of importance".

What I mean is that in love and war all tactics are fair-game, regardless of honor. That much is true. However, I believe (and will probably always believe) that honor should be an important factor in deciding the win-strategy also.

That said, I think you should not say anything directly. I mean if she is important to you, you can hold out right? Just try to develop a close relationship with her w/o giving off the hint that you're reaching for an intimate relationship with her. That way, if she does break up with her boyfriend, you'll be the number one pick.

Also, DO NOT try to break them up / steal her from him. I mean, wouldn't that be considered a hollow victory (if love can be won/lost)? Wouldn't you want a full victory when acquiring her? I would.

However, this is advice given from someone who has no experience in relationships (save that weird-pretend bf/gf relationship I'm currently experiencing right now).
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Old 2008-01-07, 23:37   Link #390
Ledgem
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Originally Posted by Vestus View Post
That said, I think you should not say anything directly. I mean if she is important to you, you can hold out right? Just try to develop a close relationship with her w/o giving off the hint that you're reaching for an intimate relationship with her. That way, if she does break up with her boyfriend, you'll be the number one pick.
I don't really know about that. If she breaks up with her boyfriend, wouldn't she be in a relative state of trauma? I'd imagine that she'd want her friends to be there for her, and not feel like friends were suddenly trying to shift into other forms of a relationship. On the other hand, depending on the type of person she is, she may be more likely to enter into a relationship with Spectacular_Insanity. But is that really good? That may be a rebound relationship.

As I understand it, rebounds are basically relationships that people run into once a previously stable relationship ends, and it's partially because they don't want to be alone, partially because they're confused, and partially because they're almost suffering withdrawl from just not having someone in an intimate position in their life. The rebound will generally last for however long it takes for the person to get over their previous relationship and realize that they can stand on their own.

I'd imagine that there are plenty of successful relationships that formed out of rebounds, but it does seem a little risky to me. If it were me, I don't think I'd go for it, and I'd mark the girl as off-limits.
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Old 2008-01-08, 01:54   Link #391
Spectacular_Insanity
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
I don't really know about that. If she breaks up with her boyfriend, wouldn't she be in a relative state of trauma? I'd imagine that she'd want her friends to be there for her, and not feel like friends were suddenly trying to shift into other forms of a relationship. On the other hand, depending on the type of person she is, she may be more likely to enter into a relationship with Spectacular_Insanity. But is that really good? That may be a rebound relationship.

As I understand it, rebounds are basically relationships that people run into once a previously stable relationship ends, and it's partially because they don't want to be alone, partially because they're confused, and partially because they're almost suffering withdrawl from just not having someone in an intimate position in their life. The rebound will generally last for however long it takes for the person to get over their previous relationship and realize that they can stand on their own.

I'd imagine that there are plenty of successful relationships that formed out of rebounds, but it does seem a little risky to me. If it were me, I don't think I'd go for it, and I'd mark the girl as off-limits.
I see what you mean. However, I am not 100% sure of the exact circumstances of their relationship anyway (eg how long they've been together, how they know each other, etc.). Also, I don't want to ask because for one thing I'd probably give myself away (she's not stupid) and not to mention it would just be rude to pry into their realtionship. And heaven knows do not want a rebound relationship. Those always seemed to be to be, well, opportunistic. With regards to the girl I like, it wouldn't be fair to her, I think.

In any case, trying to ruin their relationship would not only probably not get me in her good graces, but I doubt that our friendship would survive such a thing.

I think that unless something huge happens to break them up (which somehow I can't picture, at least in the near future), I won't do anything. At most, I'd have to be there for her, but the idea of using such a situation to my advantage just seems wrong.

Anyway, thanks for the advice, guys. I appreciate it a lot. I think I'm less confused now.
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Old 2008-01-08, 09:35   Link #392
Supah Em
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spectacular_Insanity View Post
So.... the girl I like already has a boyfriend. I am not completely sure as to the strength of said relationship, but I feel as if I would be more compatable. The situation could get complicated. She's a good friend at the moment, so I don't want to risk offending her and risking our friendship. What do I do?
"good things come to those who wait"
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Old 2008-01-08, 12:10   Link #393
ReizoSan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spectacular_Insanity View Post
So.... the girl I like already has a boyfriend. I am not completely sure as to the strength of said relationship, but I feel as if I would be more compatable. The situation could get complicated. She's a good friend at the moment, so I don't want to risk offending her and risking our friendship. What do I do?
Same boat as me but the thing is me and the girl are really good friends and it could easier turn into a relationship but WONT when she's going out with this guy, just bide your time and get to know her more and go out as friends then it leaves a suttle hint of your intentions without saying it, believe me that day will happen when they break so don't pounce on her when shes just broke up, just be there for her and then when it feels right then hopefully it will work out, this is how it happened for me when it was for a mates friends who i comfated at a party where she got dumped .
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Old 2008-01-08, 15:07   Link #394
RaizeN
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Ive felt like some girls are out of my league and some waaay above mine but Ive always said yes whit out hesitation... I dont liek to hurt people feelings.
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Old 2008-01-08, 21:28   Link #395
raikage
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satomi87 View Post
I'm a girl who had a boyfriend and a girlfriend.I currently dating with my girlfriend and I afraid my boyfriend will find out about my girlfriend.What I'm going to do to prevent it from happen?
Firstly, I'm not sure if your boyfriend would mind all THAT much.

Secondly, either clue them all in, or dump one of them. It's not fair to either, to believe that you're "exclusive" (for a lack of better term) and have that not be the case.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spectacular_Insanity View Post
So.... the girl I like already has a boyfriend. I am not completely sure as to the strength of said relationship, but I feel as if I would be more compatable. The situation could get complicated. She's a good friend at the moment, so I don't want to risk offending her and risking our friendship. What do I do?
Try to break them up. Then watch as not only does it not happen, but she cuts you off from her life forever. (May or may not include fists being exchanged with the current boyfriend.)

Or... y'know, wait. Depending on how old you are (the younger = the greater the chance) relationships don't last forever. They'll break up eventually.

Or perhaps just give up. I refer you to the concept of ladder jumping.



It is possible, but not likely to make the jump. It's much more likely that you'll fall into the Abyss of awkwardness.
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Old 2008-01-08, 21:32   Link #396
Marina
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Originally Posted by raikage View Post
Or perhaps just give up. I refer you to the concept of ladder jumping.



It is possible, but not likely to make the jump. It's much more likely that you'll fall into the Abyss of awkwardness.
Ahhh, the infamous ladder. I quite love this concept and think more guys should pay attn. to it. And yes, the abyss is quite real, I've sent some down there
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Old 2008-01-08, 22:57   Link #397
Edgewalker
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To add to ladder jumping, You are almost always doomed to abyss if she already has a boyfriend.

You could always be a jack and try to get close to her when you sense that she is on the verge of breaking up with her current BF, but that generally only increases your chances when the girl in question has the IQ of a donut in which case you shouldn't want her as a romance partner anyways.

in other word's: just wait it out, or better yet find someone else.
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Old 2008-01-09, 02:15   Link #398
Vestus
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Originally Posted by Marina View Post
Ahhh, the infamous ladder. I quite love this concept and think more guys should pay attn. to it. And yes, the abyss is quite real, I've sent some down there
I think the "ladder theory" is a bunch of BS invented by depressed/angry/cynical guys for the sole purpose to excuse their failure from the friend->boyfriend transition so that the true reason would remain hidden.

If it isn't what I stated above, then it's a bunch of BS invented to give girls a reason/excuse to reject their not-so-popular guy friends. So, they can go after the badass/popular guy.
(Who in the long-term will probably get fat and end up with no job. While the nerdy/otaku/etc. guy who got rejected will "pretty" himself [no gay pun intended] because he got rejected and end up with a high-paying job because he actually did good in school. Then, that nerdy/otaku/etc. guy will end up with a nice girl).

"Ladder Theory" aside. If she doesn't go out with you then she fails to see your "potential" (I have a generalization that all nerds/notakus have a great romantic potential) and you should forget about a girl like that because she obviously is into the "hot" guys.
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Old 2008-01-09, 02:28   Link #399
Demongod86
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LMFAO @ Constructing the ladder...wow I had a good laugh ^_^
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Old 2008-01-09, 02:49   Link #400
tripperazn
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Originally Posted by Vestus View Post
I think the "ladder theory" is a bunch of BS invented by depressed/angry/cynical guys for the sole purpose to excuse their failure from the friend->boyfriend transition so that the true reason would remain hidden.

If it isn't what I stated above, then it's a bunch of BS invented to give girls a reason/excuse to reject their not-so-popular guy friends. So, they can go after the badass/popular guy.
(Who in the long-term will probably get fat and end up with no job. While the nerdy/otaku/etc. guy who got rejected will "pretty" himself [no gay pun intended] because he got rejected and end up with a high-paying job because he actually did good in school. Then, that nerdy/otaku/etc. guy will end up with a nice girl).

"Ladder Theory" aside. If she doesn't go out with you then she fails to see your "potential" (I have a generalization that all nerds/notakus have a great romantic potential) and you should forget about a girl like that because she obviously is into the "hot" guys.
As someone who has actually survived a jump myself, I can pretty much assure you that a lot of Ladder Theory is valid. I've never experienced the abyss first-hand, but one guy is in it right now, it ain't pretty.
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