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Old 2010-03-30, 17:06   Link #4041
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
I have no idea what she sees in a loser like me though. Maybe she is emotionally insecure and desperate? Wish I knew.
Why don't you ask her?
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Old 2010-03-30, 17:23   Link #4042
Kaijo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yoropa View Post
If only I knew how to ride a bike... T_T
There's a date idea. Learn to ride a bicycle together. Or if she knows how, have her teach you. ^_~
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Old 2010-03-30, 17:25   Link #4043
yoropa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
There's a date idea. Learn to ride a bicycle together. Or if she knows how, have her teach you. ^_~
That'd be interesting. XD How much do bikes go for anyway?
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Old 2010-03-30, 17:34   Link #4044
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yoropa View Post
That'd be interesting. XD How much do bikes go for anyway?
Varies, based on what kind of model and whether it's new or used. You might not be able to afford a new one, but maybe someone can lend you some, or you can search craigslist for a used one?
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Old 2010-03-30, 18:59   Link #4045
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
I told her before. She wouldn't listen and thinks that I am some sort of WMD to her sis. She threatened me with a stitch unpicker once.


Wow, that is pretty unreasonable. I'm not even sure what the game here is anymore. Did you put it to her in an easily misunderstood way? Or does she simply not believe what you say?

Maybe she wants you to hook up with the imouto?
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Old 2010-03-30, 21:58   Link #4046
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
Maybe she wants you to hook up with the imouto?
Maybe she wants to get all of them involved in one big threesome?
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Old 2010-03-30, 23:31   Link #4047
yoropa
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That would be awkward...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
Varies, based on what kind of model and whether it's new or used. You might not be able to afford a new one, but maybe someone can lend you some, or you can search craigslist for a used one?
I think if I can't afford a date above $20 without starving then I won't be able to afford a bike. XD I still have my childhood tricycle though... I wonder if I fit on that.

Anyway this is all presuming that something actually leads me to asking her (my vote is: insanity) and then her somehow actually saying yes (a second vote to: insanity) which I don't think is a high chance.

Granted she did call me oppa... Guhhhhh I'm going to try to sleep and forget about this.
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Old 2010-03-30, 23:34   Link #4048
SaintessHeart
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kafriel View Post
It only matters if you're interested in her, otherwise don't think about it too much.
She is like a cute little sister to me. A little too helplessly cute.

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Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0 View Post
I don't know, appeal of living dangerously, maybe?
My insurance isn't enough to cover that.

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Originally Posted by Yoko Takeo View Post
You're selling yourself way too low there. If you really want to know, then I suggest you take her invitation and go to her and ask. It's that simple.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Why don't you ask her?
The only thing I am worried about is hurting her feelings. Though I am not scared of death or cockroaches, the biggest thing I fear in life is to make a girl cry.

It already breaks my heart to see someone so cute cut herself like that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Maybe she wants to get all of them involved in one big threesome?
That sounds like a perfect recipe for disaster. I am the one at the bottom of the food chain you know.

But nah. That sounds too wrong. I will just take the older one if she permits.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post


Wow, that is pretty unreasonable. I'm not even sure what the game here is anymore. Did you put it to her in an easily misunderstood way? Or does she simply not believe what you say?
Well you have to remember that I am the type of guy who is a little too straightforward (politically correct term for shooting off the mouth without thinking). My guess is that for both of us, our relationship is a love-hate one : I hate her for being so loud-mouthed and dominant yet love her for being a loyal friend with a cute angry face, she hates me for being so crude and "untruthful" with my words and constantly teasing her about her way of dressing but likes me for don't know what reason.

Quote:
Maybe she wants you to hook up with the imouto?
You know, girls like that are lifetime commitments. Leave her and she goes nuts. The main thing I don't like about the younger one is that she is physically clingy. That is the biggest turn-off for me.
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Old 2010-03-30, 23:41   Link #4049
synaesthetic
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Well, RB... I did it. I told her everything and it looks like I'm going to be hated.

Isn't this the way it usually works? You get hated whenever you do the right thing, the hard thing. I could have kept doing the easy thing, kept sublimating my dissatisfaction, continuing to try and change her into someone she's not. But I didn't and I chose to come out with it.

I feel awful, but I couldn't keep forcing her to be someone she's not. I couldn't keep forcing her to fit the kind of girl I want to be with. I just had to stop trying to put the square peg in the round hole, and now I'm being hated for it.

Sigh.

I sometimes wonder if this is my fate. Is there really anyone out there for me, or am I just doomed to be alone forever? Or am I just being a petulant little bitch, complaining about things that don't matter, throwing away something good over something stupid?
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Old 2010-03-31, 00:49   Link #4050
Kafriel
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^ Better to feel bad about it now than regret it in 30 years.
Quote:
The only thing I am worried about is hurting her feelings.
Asking her what she sees in you isn't a question that can hurt other people's feelings, unless you've been together for a long time, resulting in an insult of your relationship...which isn't the case.

v yeah, it's more the kind of self-pitying question that makes them go "aww" -_^
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Last edited by Kafriel; 2010-03-31 at 04:17.
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Old 2010-03-31, 00:58   Link #4051
Tsuyoshi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
The only thing I am worried about is hurting her feelings. Though I am not scared of death or cockroaches, the biggest thing I fear in life is to make a girl cry.

It already breaks my heart to see someone so cute cut herself like that.
How is a question like "What do you see in me?" going to break her feelings. If anything, and considering she likes you, I think she will be happy that you asked her deep inside.
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Old 2010-03-31, 08:55   Link #4052
hinakatbklyn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
I told her everything and it looks like I'm going to be hated.

Isn't this the way it usually works? You get hated whenever you do the right thing, the hard thing. I could have kept doing the easy thing, kept sublimating my dissatisfaction, continuing to try and change her into someone she's not. But I didn't and I chose to come out with it.

I feel awful, but I couldn't keep forcing her to be someone she's not. I couldn't keep forcing her to fit the kind of girl I want to be with. I just had to stop trying to put the square peg in the round hole, and now I'm being hated for it.

I sometimes wonder if this is my fate. Is there really anyone out there for me, or am I just doomed to be alone forever? Or am I just being a petulant little bitch, complaining about things that don't matter, throwing away something good over something stupid?
Work, romance or anything else I missed, that happens alot. Either you get taken advantage of for doing the right thing or take a shortcut just to be more happy. It would of hurt alot more for you if you kept your opinions hidden away until you couldn't take it anymore.

I wouldn't try to change the person standing in front of me, it's who they are. But if I still wanted to be with that person, and a compromise could be made, I would bring it up and see if the other has an opinion about changing, but I wouldn't wait too long in bringing it up.

There are many types these days: happy with a partner, happy single, fighting partners, etc. You already brought up how bad things are, but there are always many more all over who are in much worse shape for whatever reason. Sometimes it takes alot longer than others to find that right person. Some will have trouble finding that right someone, but they manage just fine. I won't say being single is right for me, but I'm doing OK right now. I'll cross that road when I get to it.
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Old 2010-03-31, 09:12   Link #4053
SaintessHeart
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Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
Well, RB... I did it. I told her everything and it looks like I'm going to be hated.

Isn't this the way it usually works? You get hated whenever you do the right thing, the hard thing. I could have kept doing the easy thing, kept sublimating my dissatisfaction, continuing to try and change her into someone she's not. But I didn't and I chose to come out with it.

I feel awful, but I couldn't keep forcing her to be someone she's not. I couldn't keep forcing her to fit the kind of girl I want to be with. I just had to stop trying to put the square peg in the round hole, and now I'm being hated for it.

Sigh.

I sometimes wonder if this is my fate. Is there really anyone out there for me, or am I just doomed to be alone forever? Or am I just being a petulant little bitch, complaining about things that don't matter, throwing away something good over something stupid?
I think it is time for you to move on. If you are going to stay around and mope it is only going to get worse.
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Old 2010-03-31, 09:14   Link #4054
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
The only thing I am worried about is hurting her feelings.
Why? You aren't insulting her feelings, you're just asking her what she sees in you. That's an honest question.

Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
Well, RB... I did it. I told her everything and it looks like I'm going to be hated.

Isn't this the way it usually works? You get hated whenever you do the right thing, the hard thing. I could have kept doing the easy thing, kept sublimating my dissatisfaction, continuing to try and change her into someone she's not. But I didn't and I chose to come out with it.

I feel awful, but I couldn't keep forcing her to be someone she's not. I couldn't keep forcing her to fit the kind of girl I want to be with. I just had to stop trying to put the square peg in the round hole, and now I'm being hated for it.

Sigh.

I sometimes wonder if this is my fate. Is there really anyone out there for me, or am I just doomed to be alone forever? Or am I just being a petulant little bitch, complaining about things that don't matter, throwing away something good over something stupid?
*hug*

I wish I could say more than "I'm sorry", but nothing else comes to mind. In the end, though, I think you did what was best; you could have stayed in the relationship and continued to try and change her, always being unhappy and hating yourself for it, or you could tell her the truth. Sometimes doing the right thing hurts, even if you know it will work out in the long run.

On my end of things, I'm probably going to take a serious break from romance for awhile. Stress over school, stress over my family, and a lot of other factors pretty much played into ending my current relationship. I feel like a grade A bitch for hurting her, because I know I did, and the thought of her hurting makes me ache. But I had to be honest with her...

Anyway, single again and planning to stay that way for awhile this time. I need to smooth out some things before I take another shot at a relationship.
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Old 2010-03-31, 09:59   Link #4055
Kaijo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
Well, RB... I did it. I told her everything and it looks like I'm going to be hated.

Isn't this the way it usually works? You get hated whenever you do the right thing, the hard thing. I could have kept doing the easy thing, kept sublimating my dissatisfaction, continuing to try and change her into someone she's not. But I didn't and I chose to come out with it.

I feel awful, but I couldn't keep forcing her to be someone she's not. I couldn't keep forcing her to fit the kind of girl I want to be with. I just had to stop trying to put the square peg in the round hole, and now I'm being hated for it.

Sigh.

I sometimes wonder if this is my fate. Is there really anyone out there for me, or am I just doomed to be alone forever? Or am I just being a petulant little bitch, complaining about things that don't matter, throwing away something good over something stupid?
Gonna put this quote up that I found on a random webpage recently:

" Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope.
Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds. "

It pretty much sums things up, heh. Long odds, indeed. But somehow, we keep trying, despite the pain we cause. RB said most of what I would have said, but this is just how love is. For a long time, I closed myself off to people because I hated this part. I didn't want to the pain of it, so I said I was done. The small chance wasn't worth the inevitable pain.

So, it's up to each of us: Are we willing to face the pain, in order to keep trying at love? Or do you want to close yourself off because it's safer?

At the least, because you can feel this pain, it means you're a good person at heart. Not many value the straightforward honesty, or are able to give. So that's double points for you.^^
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Old 2010-03-31, 12:37   Link #4056
synaesthetic
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It's not exactly over. What I did was tell her everything that concerned me and left the choice up to her. I told her that I just can't see her like a girlfriend if she's going to be the way she's been being. It's just my preferences.

I apologized for trying to force her to change and left the choice to her. I told her I'd stop trying to change her, but if she stays in that incompatible state, it's not going to work out. The rest is up to her. If she wants to stay with me, the choice is hers; if her other stuff is more important to her than me, then we'll part ways amicably.
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Old 2010-03-31, 14:53   Link #4057
Tsuyoshi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Why? You aren't insulting her feelings, you're just asking her what she sees in you. That's an honest question.



*hug*

I wish I could say more than "I'm sorry", but nothing else comes to mind. In the end, though, I think you did what was best; you could have stayed in the relationship and continued to try and change her, always being unhappy and hating yourself for it, or you could tell her the truth. Sometimes doing the right thing hurts, even if you know it will work out in the long run.

On my end of things, I'm probably going to take a serious break from romance for awhile. Stress over school, stress over my family, and a lot of other factors pretty much played into ending my current relationship. I feel like a grade A bitch for hurting her, because I know I did, and the thought of her hurting makes me ache. But I had to be honest with her...

Anyway, single again and planning to stay that way for awhile this time. I need to smooth out some things before I take another shot at a relationship.
While it's good to take a break and get your mind straightened out, I've always been one to believe that you can love whenever you're ready to love someone. It's pointless to chase for that feeling aimlessly and trying desperately to reach out for it when the very definition of love has as many forms as there are people in this world. I think it's best to realize that your heart will feel love when it comes.

You can, and probably will, meet hundreds upon hundreds of people throughout your life. You can love each and every one of them, and each one will receive a different kind of love. Friendship, brotherhood, you name it. Today, one of my workmates, an older woman than myself, actually admitted she saw me as a kind of younger brother figure, which made me feel quite warm inside actually because I accept her in the same way. So you see, love comes in many shapes.

That being said, you will eventually meet that someone who will receive that brand of love people most often refer to as relationships. I don't like to use that word because it's too simplistic and assumes there's only certain types of love. So my advice is to just simply let it be, and eventually you'll find someone who truly deserves strong feelings from you.
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Old 2010-03-31, 18:14   Link #4058
Dextro
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
There's a date idea. Learn to ride a bicycle together. Or if she knows how, have her teach you. ^_~
This is a great idea and it's a sure way to get some laughs to ease the tension. Also it's plenty cheap if you can find someone to lend you a bike or something like that
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Old 2010-03-31, 20:00   Link #4059
Wrath88
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Originally Posted by yoropa View Post
That's another problem here. Doesn't help that I tell myself to forget about it, successfully do, and then get back where I started when she comes up to me smiling and talking.

Not gonna do a short fling...
If she's impeding your attempts to hold yourself back, I think you might as well go for it. Still no info on what her interests are?

Syn & RB, sorry to hear about your respective separations. Hang in there. (I suppose it's kind of a weird coincidence I'm listening to Megurine Luka's Just Be Friends)
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Old 2010-03-31, 21:14   Link #4060
Mystique
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
On my end of things, I'm probably going to take a serious break from romance for awhile. Stress over school, stress over my family, and a lot of other factors pretty much played into ending my current relationship. I feel like a grade A bitch for hurting her, because I know I did, and the thought of her hurting makes me ache. But I had to be honest with her...

Anyway, single again and planning to stay that way for awhile this time. I need to smooth out some things before I take another shot at a relationship.
So why end the relationship (i mean what does it matter of you being gf's with her) rather than just chilling on the romance, fun stuff and just let her support you as a friend? Kinda curious about that aspect, since most peeps say that their bf/gf's are like their best/closest friends and more, a relationship isn't all fun or games, rather, this is where it begins to really count.
When life turns to utter crap, will you mutually help and support each other through an event and can the couple survive it?

So even if you can't dedicate as much time into the relationship as you'd like, but she's all for supporting you through your really stressful period, (which means, she'll definitely know to chill on the fun/lovey stuff cause she'll be concerned for you) then why actually 'break up'?
Isn't supporting the ones you care about all part of being in a relationship as well? Or rather, is it tying into something related with your self-confidence issue. Not wanting to 'burden' her with your issues?

Something doesn't sit right here RB, I don't know particular details, but all it sounds like to me is that you've shut a friend out, first and foremost. No one is really gonna be in a 'perfect' state while in a relationship (albiet, there are better states of emotional and mental health before getting into a relationship) - but you were already with her and she I'm sure is fully aware, so where or what is the key point here for you to actually cut off a support line to help you get through your really tough moments?
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