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Old 2008-07-23, 16:10   Link #661
King Lycan
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Wow.....that's the longest post i actually read ..
Good Job Mystique
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Old 2008-07-23, 16:35   Link #662
Mystique
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irenicus View Post
Mystique, that post is epic. Cookie for you.

Honestly though, your advice to nice guys won't work for one reason: we're supposed to be nice guys! How in the world can us, nice guys, knight-in-shining-armor-illusion, comfort zone person, snuggle buddy, do that to a girl we love? Knowing she'll be hurt, left alone, no one to cry to? Worrying she'll cut herself instead or something? Resist those teary eyes, those pitiful circumstances, the victim of yet another criminal enterprise by scums of our own gender, the princess waiting to be rescued? I know, I know, medicine is bitter. Give it and go, she's better off in the long run. But the world would probably have been a much smoother place, and much more boring for that matter, if people are all rational and strong-willed. And nice guys, well, tend to be of the weaker kind in callousness compared to the playboys.

Just my two Pound Stirlings (or wait, do you Brits finally break down to common sense and finally accept the Euro? )
COOKIE!
*takes it, checks that it has chocolate in it and grabs some milk*
Hey, you can keep your role, just let a girl know that you're a sexual being too with a possible interest in her. All that fantasy is a lovely fast track way to closing that "boyfriend" door that I mentioned earlier. And you seem to know of our evil feminine wiles, don't fall for it! xD

I know it's hard, I've really as a person myself had to grow up in the last... 3 years to learn how to walk away everytime my heart bleeds, to give myself a limit of how much i should take from someone if they're hurting themselves + won't do anything about it, thus in turn they're hurting me and don't (or can't) seem to care. Your heart will be screaming for wanting to comfort her, and your head will try for rationality but it'll be a tiny voice. If your other head starts complaining too, you should listen to it sometimes, lol.
Doesn't make you a bastard, makes you very human and you do deserve a girl who you can comfort when she's sad as well as when either one of you are horny, she'll be happy to jump ya

And you'd be adding your two pence as americans have "cents". No we haven't relented, Pounds and pence forevah!!! xD (the europeans hate our guts for that, truuuuust me, but we don't care) xD

Quote:
Originally Posted by King Lycan View Post
Wow.....that's the longest post i actually read ..
Good Job Mystique
I need a life, i know
I was thinking if i should have spoilered it into sections to give the illusion of it being short, but then the wall of text will open and probably give you heart attacks, so I figured to leave it.
Those who can read will and i thank you for sparing some time for it.

*munches* Plus i love cookies~ <3
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Old 2008-07-23, 16:54   Link #663
King Lycan
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....No need to be jealous Ledgem i read your very long posts to..XD
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Old 2008-07-23, 23:55   Link #664
DingoEnderZOE2
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.....Wow mystique....I didn't read that whole thing but from what I did read that was quite informative.

But I have just have one question, if us "nice guys"(Yes I'm also one of those unlucky guys with a heart too big and is too caring for their own good...) aren't supposed to be quick to want to listen and comfort a girl who we are interested in sexually with their problems, how are we supposed to cut them down in a polite fashion that won't jeopardize a nice guys chance to gain access to their "More than just friends" room then?
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Old 2008-07-24, 05:14   Link #665
Mystique
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DingoEnderZOE2 View Post
.....Wow mystique....I didn't read that whole thing but from what I did read that was quite informative.

But I have just have one question, if us "nice guys"(Yes I'm also one of those unlucky guys with a heart too big and is too caring for their own good...) aren't supposed to be quick to want to listen and comfort a girl who we are interested in sexually with their problems, how are we supposed to cut them down in a polite fashion that won't jeopardize a nice guys chance to gain access to their "More than just friends" room then?
Here is where the girls of Asuki would do good to come out of lurksville cause we all vary. Me personally don't open up, so you lot rarely have angsty drama to hear from me as a girl, no chance to comfort. xD
I kinda wrote about the keeping us on our toes and don't offer us your full friendly services before a first kiss (dunno if you got that far) - so I've gone around asking a few 'nice guys' I'm mates with online who're no longer trapped in friends only mode and they said to pass this to you guys.

Quote:
there's a way to be a nice guy, without putting yourself immediately in the role of "nothing but friend", but a lot of 'nice guys' don't know how to avoid doing this.
You have to be the 'good friend' and show that you're bf material before you show that you're the 'nice guy' = chance at becoming more than just friends... but it's a very tricky bridge to walk, and varies from girl to girl
Also...
Quote:
problem is, true 'nice guys' don't seem to know how to flirt... they think being friendly is flirting, but all that does is put them in 'friend mode'... you have to use some slight innuendo to show that you might be interested... simply asking a girl about her day is not flirting... you need to watch for openings to truly 'flirt'... another tricky bridge to cross, but well worth it
Practice online - at least that's how I learnt how to over the years, lol. Naturally online makes people a lot braver and arrogant to say things, than for example on Skype, where it's easier for me to get blood out of a rock than to snag the "nice guys" who i'm good friends with, to come chat with me via voice.
Skype is a good way to put some social skills into practice without having to see their faces, so call it 'middle ground', you gotta learn how to keep a conversation going and with more practice you'll be able see if the chemistry is right anyways.
For the first 3-5 chats, don't go into 'tell me your life story' or 'tell me what's bothering you' - she'll get into the habit of you becoming her personal shrink. Do keep topics varied on hobbies, school, sex, relationships, sex *laughs*, at least if an element of sexual related knowledge is around, even if its very light, it keeps the door open for you. She'll be learning bout your own perferences too remember and i'm sure girls have lots of questions they'd wanna know or ask about guys too.
Quote:
though, bf material is completely up to the girl... you could be a good friend and still not be bf material, but still avoid being the pushover nice guy that she mooches off of cause she knows you'll do anything for her... that's a bad spot to be in
Agreed, that's where girls will walk over you once you become their sanctuary, I did mention that near the end dingo, so if you get some spare time, finish the rest
Quote:
...and that would be the difference between 'good friend' and 'nice guy'... a 'good friend' can be either gender, so the 'nice guy's' goal is to accomplish that, as a male...
Best thing i heard is to talk to a lot of girls. Easier said than done right, but do try.
At least online from a forum like here, if you get on with a few then take it to PM's or IM's. Use us as research, talk about sex and relationships and ask the girl 'why is it girls don't really want a nice guy? what makes you think of a male friend as a boyfriend? What do you like in a guy?'
Be upfront, be straight - most of us will probably feel contrite about the questions and try to answer you honestly, it makes us think, makes us a little bit more aware.
Any girls that seem bitchy or bossy or spiteful over any other girls or peeps, stay well away from them, don't give them the attention that they crave. Or straight up, tell them what you think, if you don't like the way they treat others, but let yourself and your feelings be known.

Hope that helps somewhat.
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Old 2008-07-25, 03:00   Link #666
bbduece
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People who say "i'm a nice guy...etc....etc.." are bs-ing. I watch out for those guys when they say that. I find that people say that to renforce a doubt in thier own mind. No need to say it if you are. Actions will speak for themselfs.

Anyways; courage, effort, be honest without letting everything out of the bag, be observant, make sound judgments, and of course be nice without going out of character works well.

Too many variables, got to learn from experiences.

Last edited by bbduece; 2008-07-25 at 03:27.
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Old 2008-07-25, 03:29   Link #667
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^I know what I am, I've no need to tell someone and I have no doubt in my mind that I'm a nice guy, I just show it too much(Which lies my problem) but at the same time I'm also fully aware that I have my mean streaks and even I won't put up with peoples crap if I'm pushed enough, but overall I view myself as a nice guy as long as I'm not taken advantaged of.

But question for you bbduece, what you're saying is a genuinely nice guy isn't allowed to state that they're a nice guy because other wise they're just Bs-ing themselves right?

And the reason why you're so cautious is because you feel guys who state outright that they're "nice guys" are just using it as a cover to hide their true intentions?
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Old 2008-07-25, 03:53   Link #668
bbduece
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DingoEnderZOE2 View Post
^I know what I am, I've no need to tell someone and I have no doubt in my mind that I'm a nice guy, I just show it too much(Which lies my problem) but at the same time I'm also fully aware that I have my mean streaks and even I won't put up with peoples crap if I'm pushed enough, but overall I view myself as a nice guy as long as I'm not taken advantaged of.

But question for you bbduece, what you're saying is a genuinely nice guy isn't allowed to state that they're a nice guy because other wise they're just Bs-ing themselves right?

And the reason why you're so cautious is because you feel guys who state outright that they're "nice guys" are just using it as a cover to hide their true intentions?
question one:
If your a nice guy/girl is there a need to state that to anyone? It will show through your actions unless that person is very insecure which lead me to wonder why, did that person do something he/she not suppose to do. And another thing; no one said you werent a nice guy/girl, why tell us that, is there a reason why we will automatically assume you are not a nice guy/girl? If you a kid then i understand, but in the adult world i find it weird if some person i dont know automatically say he/she is a nice guy/girl (and starts ranting why) before i get to know them. This is given the fact that no misunderstanding has happen for you to reaffirm your personallity.

question two:
I find it questionable. If i know you then there is no need for that statement aside from jokes. If of course you made a mistake during the beggining of the relationship then it is a toss up and the person can make the call, but usually no need to say it, just show it. If you indeed did make a mistake do the right thing to rectified.

I'm not saying we guys/girls shouldnt say we are nice guys/girls but in those situtation it is weird. Just my opinion.

Question three:
Weird question? Seems like it is directed towards someone that is interested in guys (fyi, i like playful women that stimulate the body and the mind). My previous post was directed for unisex but i should have made it clear.

Last edited by bbduece; 2008-07-25 at 04:29.
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Old 2008-07-25, 07:11   Link #669
Amray
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What annoys me though is that their are over six-billion people on this planet..and we only ask for just that ONE special someone. Not too much to ask for, is it? Yet it can sometimes prove so difficult. I was told to get education out of the way first though which seems understandable to me.
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Old 2008-07-25, 12:13   Link #670
Mystique
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Originally Posted by Amray View Post
What annoys me though is that their are over six-billion people on this planet..and we only ask for just that ONE special someone. Not too much to ask for, is it? Yet it can sometimes prove so difficult. I was told to get education out of the way first though which seems understandable to me.
Now let's add some maths to that
2/3 are starving, a good majority are crammed in poor developing countries, then there's the issue of those who can speak english in those countries around the world.
Then there's the issue of religion, billions are faithful to some religion or other, it's us Westerners who somewhat have the privilidge of free access to any info and knowledge, science, advanced technology and logical thinking that faith kinda takes a back seat, compared to like smaller towns or villages in poorer countries where faith helps to sustain a human being through poverty and hardship.
Feels like peeps on IRC/anime forums are full of athiests, if that religion thread is just 1 example of anything to go by, lol.

So we got geography, religion, language, ooh culture! Typical African and Asian peeps are very family bound (hispanic peeps probably too) - fairly strict parents (i'm talking of those born and raised in their country of origin before travelling to the West and giving birth to us lot)
usually, it's like the mafia, wanna marry your love, you're marrying the entire family, so that's sacrifice to be made on that end.

And then if we've narrowed it down to peeps within your country, then there's hobbies, sense of humour, physical attraction, personality compatibility, can you live with this person for the rest of your life (ofc people change, so 10 years down the line, you can't tell)
Morals, do those match, manners, respect and behaviour to other people, etc.

Once we get past all of that, we prob can find someone out there for us
Of course not everyone is willing to give up work and home to move to another place hundreds or thousands of miles away, due to being scared of the 'what if its all for nothing' - so it makes the 6 billion kinda small now huh, lol.

Not being pessimistic, just realistic.
Perhaps in our liberal age, we're somewhat too fussy and too selfish now....

PS: So was I, education > boyfriends.
My parents practically drilled that into me ever since i was 11 x.x
But it's true, one the cert is there with decent grades and you got the skills/knowledge, you can go places, it opens more doors for you.
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Old 2008-07-25, 16:26   Link #671
2H-Dragon
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It's basically physical attraction and the rest is how good you can play out your cards. Honestly same interrest and same hobies are not needed. Religion does play a major for those who really do believe(the posers don't give a fuck if you ask me.) =o
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Old 2008-07-25, 16:44   Link #672
bbduece
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Originally Posted by 2H-Dragon View Post
It's basically physical attraction and the rest is how good you can play out your cards. Honestly same interrest and same hobies are not needed. Religion does play a major for those who really do believe(the posers don't give a fuck if you ask me.) =o
Religion plays a big role because it is some people's core beleifs. Same interest and hobbies fit this description but religion has a stronger impact in comparison so most people will refuse to abandon religious belief. Hobbies can be put on hold, religion can not.

In my opinion it is mostly physical attraction that draws the attention. Then after that, its having similarities which will go a long way.
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Old 2008-07-25, 18:20   Link #673
anti-random
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People, I need your opinion and advice. What is the best way to pick up a girl at a nightclub or anywhere else. Do you just go straight up to them on the dance floor and dance right next to them, do you ask them if they want to dance when your on the dance floor or do you do, like what I do, and start small talk over a drink and then ask them to dance? My friend was explaining me this yesterday at the social and I started to wonder what do people prefer. What makes them go yeah I'll dance blah blah blah with this guy or girl. So yeah, please give me your opinion and why.
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Old 2008-07-25, 19:07   Link #674
Irenicus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbduece View Post
question one:
If your a nice guy/girl is there a need to state that to anyone? It will show through your actions unless that person is very insecure which lead me to wonder why, did that person do something he/she not suppose to do. And another thing; no one said you werent a nice guy/girl, why tell us that, is there a reason why we will automatically assume you are not a nice guy/girl? If you a kid then i understand, but in the adult world i find it weird if some person i dont know automatically say he/she is a nice guy/girl (and starts ranting why) before i get to know them. This is given the fact that no misunderstanding has happen for you to reaffirm your personallity.
Hello, we're on the internet. None of us know each other (well, most...) -- how are we supposed to talk about anything if we don't tell each other straight off what we are when it's related to the topic at hand?

What kind of actions can I make right here to convince you, "Yes, I'm really so-and-so!" Send someone a good rep? Link you to my Facebook page (which doesn't even have my pic )?
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Old 2008-07-25, 21:17   Link #675
bbduece
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Originally Posted by Irenicus View Post
Hello, we're on the internet. None of us know each other (well, most...) -- how are we supposed to talk about anything if we don't tell each other straight off what we are when it's related to the topic at hand?

What kind of actions can I make right here to convince you, "Yes, I'm really so-and-so!" Send someone a good rep? Link you to my Facebook page (which doesn't even have my pic )?
I don't see why one needs to convince another that he/she is a nice girl/guy. Can't we have a nice verbal relationship without ranting on why one is a nice guy/girl?

Internet relationships are limited. Bound by this limitation, the need to say one is this and that holds no farther subsantance.

I dont see the need to randomly tell people your not a mean person because saying that devalue the meaning itself.

I think by going into a conversation thinking that no one judges you in a bad way makes more sense.

You can tell people about yourself, but reaffirming you area nice guy sounds weird. It is like reaffirming that i am over the age of 18, why would i need to do that? I dont go to bevmo and tell them i'm am over the age of 21, i wait for them to ask for my id. Or walk up to a hold'em tournament, emphasize i'm over 21 and then ask for a spot in the tournament. Or walk up to an attractive woman and say "i'm cute whats your name?" or "i'm a nice guy, are you a nice girl?" (actually i can see people do this but it just seems unnatural to me.)

If someone ask (be it real life or internet base) then be proud and answer the question and state the nice guy/girl things. But if not one ask and you iniate it yourself, then yea something is definitely weird.

In the end arn't we all nice at some point and not so nice when situations dictate it? No need to rant about it, it is a given or is it not?

Last edited by bbduece; 2008-07-25 at 21:59.
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Old 2008-07-26, 06:15   Link #676
Cake-kun
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Originally Posted by Fome View Post
Ever feel like the girl/guy you like is way out of your league?

That's what i thought.

I can't believe she said yes, and without hesitation.

I'm the happiest guy alive.

Yes, i'm being a stupid romantic.
-How nice. :] goodLuck. :]



Anyway, since dating is the title of this thread, is it easy for you guys to go dating with your friends or with your love/crush?

-If you ask me, yeah, i find it easy. :] (I'm not bragging) What's not easy for me is to make a remedy if i ran out of cash. XD hahahah . :]
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Last edited by Cake-kun; 2008-07-26 at 09:11.
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Old 2008-07-26, 13:10   Link #677
bbduece
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Originally Posted by Cake-kun View Post
-How nice. :] goodLuck. :]



Anyway, since dating is the title of this thread, is it easy for you guys to go dating with your friends or with your love/crush?

-If you ask me, yeah, i find it easy. :] (I'm not bragging) What's not easy for me is to make a remedy if i ran out of cash. XD hahahah . :]
If you run out of cash get a loan .

After the relationship becomes a long term one, the money problem is easy since most couples share the expenses. If one dont have the other will cover the tab.
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Old 2008-07-26, 21:36   Link #678
Cake-kun
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Well. I think cash loan is too early for me, cause I'm only fifteen. :] And, if i know that i have lots of money, i usually can't help spending it. XD But sometimes, I just ask the owner to make it a tab, and i'll return the pay later, since my home is just walking distance from there. :]]
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Old 2008-07-27, 00:30   Link #679
Samari
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Originally Posted by anti-random View Post
People, I need your opinion and advice. What is the best way to pick up a girl at a nightclub or anywhere else. Do you just go straight up to them on the dance floor and dance right next to them, do you ask them if they want to dance when your on the dance floor or do you do, like what I do, and start small talk over a drink and then ask them to dance? My friend was explaining me this yesterday at the social and I started to wonder what do people prefer. What makes them go yeah I'll dance blah blah blah with this guy or girl. So yeah, please give me your opinion and why.
Try not to go to a nightclub or whatever alone. I'm not sure how it is in America, but a friend of mine in Japan told me while I was in Tokyo that if you go to the clubs alone and try talking to a few girls that are in a group or something they find it really creepy...as opposed to going up to them in a group with other guys with you. They feel safer. Yes it doesn't make much sense, but apparently that is how it is sometimes. I remember going to one of the clubs there alone. Luckily someone else who was in my same situation talked to me and we decided to attack the problem together. A lot of the girls there seemed really timid LOL.

But that's just one person's opinion for a certain area. I do however think it is good advice to go to a club with a bunch of friends than going alone. It does seem strange in my opinion if you're there solo.
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Old 2008-07-27, 03:27   Link #680
Orchunter226
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Originally Posted by bluejazz87 View Post
Try not to go to a nightclub or whatever alone.
This should always apply.

You should always have a few wingmen on hand when going to parties/clubs/etc. If you see a group of girls, and there's one you would like to talk to, you need the friends. Have your buds talk to the friends, no matter how uninteresting/ugly they are. And then shoot for your target.

Of course, this assumes you have friends willing to do this for ya.

Girls also (from my experience) seem to like guys who are a bit more social. Being there with a few buds shows you're not just some creep.

Plus, if you're having trouble getting conversations going with strangers, it's nice to have your friends there for a "refuge."
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