AnimeSuki Forums

Register Forum Rules FAQ Members List Social Groups Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Go Back   AnimeSuki Forum > General > General Chat

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 2011-01-21, 15:34   Link #7781
Irkalla
I asked for this
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Winterfell
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsuyoshi View Post
There's really no use in her keeping it a secret if you ask me. Word gets out. Word always gets out. I would guess her parents would appreciate it a lot more if word came from her mouth before anyone else's. Whether they will be disappointed by the fact or go "meh" doesn't matter. What matters is that their daughter is open, and ideally, a family shouldn't hide things from each other.
As there is no need to tell them. She shouldn't feel compelled to tell them, that is like seeking their permission to have sex from now on. That spells insecurity for me personally. If you wanna show your parents that you are old and mature enough for sex, don't ask for their opinion before taking steps/progressing. If you wanna tell them, tell them casually, don't start like, "omg I have something to confess that you might not like." It's not about keeping secrets, it's about having some privacy for sanity's sake. Be mature, be responsible, don't seek your parents guidance on sex, it will just make them think you are still a clueless baby. The best thing would just be for them to come to you when they start to notice things like a bf for an example. And before somebody goes smartass on me, no that does not go for things like drugs or anything of the sort. Sex drive comes natural to us.
__________________
Irkalla is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 16:16   Link #7782
TWWK
Junior Member
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheyannew View Post
Nope; didn't miss a thing I'm married and have a gf (who is also my ex bf's wife); we ended up having to make a topic to clear the confusion LOL that's over here. I think most people who post in this thread're just used to it by now
:O

Thanks for the link...very interesting. :P
__________________
Beneath the Tangles: The Convergence of Anime and the Invisible God
TWWK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 16:20   Link #7783
Neat Hedgehog
Hack of all trades
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Michigan
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zaseka View Post
Be mature, be responsible, don't seek your parents guidance on sex, it will just make them think you are still a clueless baby. The best thing would just be for them to come to you when they start to notice things like a bf for an example..
Yeah, because at the age of 15, everyone already knows everything about sex and relationships, and obviously needs no advice from their parents who have probably never even had sex and therefore obviously have nothing to contribute in the way of advice.

-_-
Neat Hedgehog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 17:03   Link #7784
Irkalla
I asked for this
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Winterfell
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neat Hedgehog View Post
Yeah, because at the age of 15, everyone already knows everything about sex and relationships, and obviously needs no advice from their parents who have probably never even had sex and therefore obviously have nothing to contribute in the way of advice.

-_-
You are so not getting the point. Going for sex advices to your parents after actually having sex is a really bad idea, they will think you weren't ready and bitch to no end. Do you really want to put the girl through that? She just wants to be honest with them, sure, she can tell them casually, but not in a manner that would indicate that she went into it unprepared. Besides that, parents are not the only place you can get sex intel from, heck google is a much better bet, friends, even your teachers. Don't they teach you sex ed in school?
__________________
Irkalla is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 17:19   Link #7785
Simon
気持ち悪い
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: New Zealand
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zaseka View Post
Going for sex advices to your parents after actually having sex is a really bad idea, they will think you weren't ready and bitch to no end. Do you really want to put the girl through that? She just wants to be honest with them, sure, she can tell them casually, but not in a manner that would indicate that she went into it unprepared.
I don't have kids of my own, but enough of my mates have teenage daughters that I think I can see things from a parent's perspective. Unless her parents are religious (in which case all bets are off), it's not sex per se that's the issue - it's their child's well-being. I'd want to know that my daughter wasn't putting her health at risk and that she could handle the emotional aspects of a sexual relationship. In particular, having been a teenage boy myself and knowing all the sleazy tricks they try, I'd want to be confident that she was having sex by choice and not because her bf or peers had pressured her into it.

But even if her situation wasn't ideal, I'd certainly rather that she talked to me than kept it hidden and struggled to deal with the consequences. Better "dad, I know you don't want to hear this but I've started having sex and I want to go on the pill" than "dad, I know you don't want to hear this but I'm pregnant."

There's also another issue: isn't sex supposed to be a good thing, and finding someone to share it with a happy occasion? If I was a parent I'd want to earn my kids' trust so they felt they could tell me what was going on in their lives - sure, I wouldn't want to know the details, but I wouldn't want them to tip-toe round the issue feeling needless guilt either.

Of course I have no idea what OP's family situation is, so none of this may apply in her case.
Simon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 17:19   Link #7786
cheyannew
PolyPerson!
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Northern VA
Who on earth is saying the parents ought be told to be asking for guidance? It's more in the spirit of letting your folks know what's going on in your life, especially at a young age when THEY are legally responsible for you, should something happen.

By no means do I require my kids to tell me EVERYTHING, but I certainly hope when they're ready to take the plunge into a sexual relationship, they'll let me know. They don't need permission (they'll do it anyway whether or not they have it, I wasn't 15 THAT long ago ffs), but we do have a rapport that I enjoy; they have yet to NOT come to me with issues or just a "Hey here's what's going on right now", and I hope that doesn't change when they take the step to become sexually active. I've given them the talks, they have access to computers, and I've flat out said I'm happy to nab pills/condoms/whatever for them, if they would like (however if it's cause they're embarrassed, I maintain they shouldn't be having sex. I meant more of a to avoid the pharmacist refusing them or whatever cause they're a kid, etc).

Having sex is no reason to be embarrassed. However, giving your folks a heads up to say "Hey, fyi I'm sexually active", while not required, is considered a considerate thing to do. Goddess forbid something happen, you catch some STD (which can happen even if condoms are used) and then you'd have to tell them anyway. Most parents would end up being more disappointed you didn't tell them you were active in the first place.

I say the above realizing I am *NOT* a typical parent, and my kids have NOT had a typical upbringing, though.
__________________
"...we are wolves in a flock of sheep. We are the hunters. We are the Alphas and we are on this Earth to conquer."

RIFT | Division | Side 7 Art Archive
cheyannew is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 17:26   Link #7787
Neat Hedgehog
Hack of all trades
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Michigan
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zaseka View Post
You are so not getting the point. Going for sex advices to your parents after actually having sex is a really bad idea, they will think you weren't ready and bitch to no end. Do you really want to put the girl through that? She just wants to be honest with them, sure, she can tell them casually, but not in a manner that would indicate that she went into it unprepared. Besides that, parents are not the only place you can get sex intel from, heck google is a much better bet, friends, even your teachers. Don't they teach you sex ed in school?
So, it's somehow wrong to admit that you don't know everything, and that maybe you could use a little advice? Have you never done anything and then sought advice on it after the fact because maybe, just maybe, you thought you might be able to do it better next time if you get as much input on the matter as you can (or care to)?

The attitude which you are presenting here of "show no weakness" indicates fear, much like a deer who cannot afford to lose step with the herd for fear of being singled out and killed. This is not the kind of relationship you should have with your parents, or anyone. You should not be afraid to admit inexperience because you think the people you're telling will lay into you like a mack truck.

If you can't ask for advice, or even just talk openly, about things like sex, then either you, or the people you are talking to, are mentally and emotionally immature. Period.

Quote:
Do you really want to put the girl through that?
I'm not putting anyone through anything. I'm just some guy writing on a forum.
Neat Hedgehog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 17:43   Link #7788
Kaijo
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow, in a house dropped on an ugly, old woman.
Send a message via AIM to Kaijo Send a message via MSN to Kaijo
Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
Also, I give up on trying to get you guys to understand what I'm saying. You're acting like we do nothing but stand around and look hot, beating off mobs of men with sticks!
Calm down, Syn, we actually do understand, heh. No, not all women get men coming up to (or onto) them. It's not like [heterosexual] women turn dates down 5 times a day. It's just that women, in general, don't tend to make the move first unless they feel a spark. Whereas men will make a move if they feel even the slightest inclination of a possibility, since they don't know where the relationship could end up going.

It's just a difference between the sexes on a general level.

And yes, we understand that you, Syn, as a primarily lesbian, would have more issues finding someone because your dating pool is small. I probably shouldn't have specifically named you in my last post, since I was going more towards women in general who are also generally more attracted to men, heh.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Speaking personally on this point...

All I can say is I very rarely make a move unless I feel something because to me, agreeing to go out with someone when you know you don't feel anything romantic for them is, in a way, a little cruel. I know my feelings and my thoughts, and I know that once I feel a certain way about someone, there's very little that can be done to change my feelings for them. Hence why I, personally, never acted on something unless I had feelings already: because to me, taking that risk only for it to fall flat could be even worse than staying strictly friends.

Just my two cents on it.
There is a risk in anything we do. As I said, the difference between the sexes is that men are generally more willing to take that risk, even if it ends badly. From our perspective, we don't know how things will end up unless we try, and not even taking the chance to see, is dooming things to fail right from the start. Maybe the feelings will grow, and maybe they will fade; who knows?

That's where the general male feelings come from. And if they don't act on those small feelings, then you get the nice guys that some people were complaining about earlier. The ones who never take a chance, never ask someone out, and just hope she comes to love them. That's someone zebra complained about, wishing they'd at least ask her out to coffee and/or a movie. And I think, deep down, most women want the man to make the move. I think most people who find themselves loving someone in secret, wish that person would make the move.

For better or worse, that's how our society has developed, with the men assuming most of the risk of making the first move. Or at least, the pressure to do so.

And speaking for myself, I am capable of remaining friends with someone I dated, so it's purely a personal emotional issue. There have been a few I ended on good terms with, mostly because they were willing to keep being friends with me. So it's entirely possible to do, depending on where the two people are on an emotional maturity level. I already do continue to talk to people I have been intimate with on varying levels. All it takes is a "Okay, so we didn't work out; we know that now. But we don't need to let that stop us from being friends."

And sometimes, the intimacy leads to a better friendship. Once two people have been intimate (and not just in the physical sense), that carries over to a level of emotional trust, because the barriers have been broken down. Thus, they can at least share things with each other, knowing they won't get back together.

Unless one subscribes to the "Men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way" thing that I think Billy Crystal said in the movie When Harry Met Sally, heh.
Kaijo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 17:53   Link #7789
cheyannew
PolyPerson!
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Northern VA
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
And speaking for myself, I am capable of remaining friends with someone I dated, so it's purely a personal emotional issue. There have been a few I ended on good terms with, mostly because they were willing to keep being friends with me. So it's entirely possible to do, depending on where the two people are on an emotional maturity level. I already do continue to talk to people I have been intimate with on varying levels. All it takes is a "Okay, so we didn't work out; we know that now. But we don't need to let that stop us from being friends."

And sometimes, the intimacy leads to a better friendship. Once two people have been intimate (and not just in the physical sense), that carries over to a level of emotional trust, because the barriers have been broken down. Thus, they can at least share things with each other, knowing they won't get back together.
Actually, I agree with this.. I'm actually friends with a number of my exes, though for most of us, the rekindling of friendship happened years after the breakup (as the breakups were usually pretty bad, the worst made me go into therapy, and him become a hermit for nearly 2 years, that's my "bf in law", aka my gf's hubby).
We all learned that while being a couple was a bad idea (tm), being friends is great, and we should've STAYED friends hehe.
I do know that for many, myself included, becoming intimate with someone does tend to change things; even if you're just friends, it becomes a... deeper level? of friendship? for lack of a better term. And I don't mean just having sex, either; there's some things you share with a partner you dont' share with regular friends.
__________________
"...we are wolves in a flock of sheep. We are the hunters. We are the Alphas and we are on this Earth to conquer."

RIFT | Division | Side 7 Art Archive
cheyannew is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 18:00   Link #7790
Moczo
"Hey, Isaac?"
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Pennsylvania. It's sort of like a real state.
Age: 29
Send a message via AIM to Moczo Send a message via Skype™ to Moczo
Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
There's absolutely nothing wrong with a toss in the sheets that only last a few weeks! Some of those ended up becoming good friends!

... that I, alas, no longer have sex with.

Also, I give up on trying to get you guys to understand what I'm saying. You're acting like we do nothing but stand around and look hot, beating off mobs of men with sticks!

Nothing could be further than the truth, and you know, I am gay. Automatically I have a harder time finding a partner than every man on here simply due to the fact that only 10% (15% if you're really optimistic) of the women out there would even be receptive in the first place! You dudes could potentially date 9 out of 10 women, while I get (at the very best) that remaining one. *facepalm*

Fortunately I am no longer on the market.
*sigh* Maybe I didn't explain myself properly. I understand what you are saying: it's best to just go out, make friends, and let romance happen once you've befriended the girl and gotten to know her. And intellectually, I completely agree with that. I think it sounds really nice.

But what I'm saying is that it doesn't work for everyone, y'know? All people are unique. I personally take longer than most people to warm up to others to the point I call them 'friends'. And by the time that a girl is a 'friend', it seems almost universally that either she no longer considers me a romantic option, or I consider her almost too much like family to pursue. Whatever the case, any spark that might have been there is long extinguished.

I'm not saying I intend to go out on the town, walk up to random women, and cheerfully ask for sex in the first three minutes. I'm saying that maybe in my case, after I meet someone and have a good initial conversation with them, the next thing I say needs to be less, 'we should talk again', and more 'hey, are you free this weekend? Let's grab dinner'. Ignite that spark into something before it goes out, and become her lover and friend simultaneously, rather than one at a time.
Moczo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 18:18   Link #7791
Kaijo
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow, in a house dropped on an ugly, old woman.
Send a message via AIM to Kaijo Send a message via MSN to Kaijo
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheyannew View Post
I do know that for many, myself included, becoming intimate with someone does tend to change things; even if you're just friends, it becomes a... deeper level? of friendship? for lack of a better term. And I don't mean just having sex, either; there's some things you share with a partner you dont' share with regular friends.
Yeah, this pretty much. Once I have shared some intimate things with someone, which takes a level of trust to do, I'm more apt to share with them other things in the future that I wouldn't even tell a best friend. Once you've already crossed the threshold, there is less fear about holding things back. You two have already shared practically everything anyway, so what is there to fear?

So I suppose that's a large reason why I don't see too many issues with dating a friend. Even if it doesn't work out, it can at least lead to a more fulfilling friendship, if they are emotionally mature enough to handle it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
I'm not saying I intend to go out on the town, walk up to random women, and cheerfully ask for sex in the first three minutes. I'm saying that maybe in my case, after I meet someone and have a good initial conversation with them, the next thing I say needs to be less, 'we should talk again', and more 'hey, are you free this weekend? Let's grab dinner'. Ignite that spark into something before it goes out, and become her lover and friend simultaneously, rather than one at a time.
The problem between men and women, are the different ways they approach this. Women make up their minds very early on, as to whether someone will be a friend or a potential lover. To a man, every women is a potential friend *and* a potential lover. So society has shaped men to pretty much hit on a new woman from the get go, because society has shown them they don't have a chance otherwise. If women find it irritating that men they hardly know keep hitting on them, this is why.
Kaijo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 22:09   Link #7792
Samari
World's Greatest
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Francisco
Age: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zaseka View Post
You are so not getting the point. Going for sex advices to your parents after actually having sex is a really bad idea, they will think you weren't ready and bitch to no end. Do you really want to put the girl through that? She just wants to be honest with them, sure, she can tell them casually, but not in a manner that would indicate that she went into it unprepared. Besides that, parents are not the only place you can get sex intel from, heck google is a much better bet, friends, even your teachers. Don't they teach you sex ed in school?
Sex advice from parents? No thank you. Never talking about my sex life with either of my parents. Hell no.
__________________

"Every light must fade, every heart return to darkness!"
永遠不要失去信心,你的命運。
Samari is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 22:19   Link #7793
Khu
そんなやさしくしないで。。。
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: NSW, Australia
Age: 20
That just gets into a new whole order of magnitude of weirdness.

Imagine if your parents told you about their sex life.

God, ew.

Teling them because they deserve to know that you've taken the step is fine; but asking for advice is a bit eurgh. :<
Khu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 22:22   Link #7794
Samari
World's Greatest
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Francisco
Age: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Khu View Post
That just gets into a new whole order of magnitude of weirdness.

Imagine if your parents told you about their sex life.

God, ew.

Teling them because they deserve to know that you've taken the step is fine; but asking for advice is a bit eurgh. :<
Exactly. Might as well walk in on them having sex. Gross.

That being said, if I ever become a parent, I hope I'm cool enough to talk about without grossing out my children. If they have questions I'll answer them, but I can't see myself intruding their world of sex and mutilating it. I would like my child/children to be safe, but at the same time I wouldn't want to traumatize them either.
__________________

"Every light must fade, every heart return to darkness!"
永遠不要失去信心,你的命運。
Samari is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 22:56   Link #7795
Khu
そんなやさしくしないで。。。
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: NSW, Australia
Age: 20
"Your mum could do this thing with her leg and a --"
"DAD?!"
Khu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-21, 23:25   Link #7796
Hooves
♣~Sleepy~♣
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Xanadu
Age: 20
Send a message via Skype™ to Hooves
Quote:
Originally Posted by Khu View Post
"Your mum could do this thing with her leg and a --"
"DAD?!"
need to stop parents before they get into it too much that it will scare you
__________________
Illya & Miyu from Fate/kaleid liner PRISMA ☆ ILLYAMyAnimeList (Hoovesahoy)
Avatar from: TheEroKing
Signature from: TheEroKing
Hooves is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-22, 05:15   Link #7797
Irkalla
I asked for this
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Winterfell
Age: 25
You guys have said it better than I could with a wall of text, thanks! Though when I mentioned sex advices from parents, I meant the protection part, not the, you know, steamy parts. That would be just wrong on so many levels.

The reason I don't agree with this girl telling her parents that she has had sex is because her post a while back. She said that now that she is 15,she feels like she could finally tell them. That spells to me that she herself thinks they wouldn't exactly welcome it, or that now that she is 15, they would be more understanding about it. Doesn't really make a difference in a parents eyes if you ask me. So I think she should wait, not just spring it on them now that she is 15, which I assume is the legal age of consent in her country. You might not agree with me and give me some honesty shit, but it's how teenagers work when their parents are a conservative bunch. Then again, I might be wrong and her parents are really cool, in which case I don't understand why wait. And that is just about everything I have to add to this topic, let her decide on her own, just don't fill her with the perfect and accepting families and a bag of chips too much.

Oh, and I think Chey's parenting is great!
__________________
Irkalla is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-22, 10:05   Link #7798
Moczo
"Hey, Isaac?"
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Pennsylvania. It's sort of like a real state.
Age: 29
Send a message via AIM to Moczo Send a message via Skype™ to Moczo
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
Yeah, this pretty much. Once I have shared some intimate things with someone, which takes a level of trust to do, I'm more apt to share with them other things in the future that I wouldn't even tell a best friend. Once you've already crossed the threshold, there is less fear about holding things back. You two have already shared practically everything anyway, so what is there to fear?

So I suppose that's a large reason why I don't see too many issues with dating a friend. Even if it doesn't work out, it can at least lead to a more fulfilling friendship, if they are emotionally mature enough to handle it.



The problem between men and women, are the different ways they approach this. Women make up their minds very early on, as to whether someone will be a friend or a potential lover. To a man, every women is a potential friend *and* a potential lover. So society has shaped men to pretty much hit on a new woman from the get go, because society has shown them they don't have a chance otherwise. If women find it irritating that men they hardly know keep hitting on them, this is why.
Heh. Thank you, Kaijo, for saying what I was trying to say better than I could say it.

Yes, honestly, I would prefer to date a friend. I'm not the most social person in the world and I make friends slowly, but I can say that over the course of my life I've had about twenty girls I'd call real friends. But I can also say that of all these there has only been romantic attraction involved in a grand total of two of these friendships, once on the girl's part, and once on my part.

In the first case, the girl never made a move and I only found about the attraction several months after she had given up and moved on; she had assumed I wasn't interested because I didn't make a move, and she didn't want to 'risk our friendship' by just asking me out. Amusingly, we're not friends anymore anyway, and part of the reason we drifted apart because after I learned that she had feelings for me and was too afraid to trust me with them, I kind of had a hard time respecting her anymore. I really didn't have any romantic inclinations of my own towards her, but I liked her as a friend and I would have been willing to give it a try and see what developed if she'd just been honest with me.

The second time I did make the move and got shot down summarily. Was recent, and still dealing with the fallout of that, if we're being honest. The self-doubt, the disappointment, constantly wondering 'what if', the anger and sadness that I thought I had under total control but that keep bubbling up randomly the last few days... yeah. It's not been fun.

So yeah, I don't have a problem with dating a friend. It's just that cases were dating becomes an issue in my friendships, my friends seem to have a problem with dating me. Hence: pursuit of a relationship first. Though I'm starting to think that might be too soon as well, and maybe I'm overcompensating for the second incident above...

Last edited by Moczo; 2011-01-22 at 10:26.
Moczo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-22, 12:10   Link #7799
Kaijo
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow, in a house dropped on an ugly, old woman.
Send a message via AIM to Kaijo Send a message via MSN to Kaijo
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
In the first case, the girl never made a move and I only found about the attraction several months after she had given up and moved on; she had assumed I wasn't interested because I didn't make a move, and she didn't want to 'risk our friendship' by just asking me out. Amusingly, we're not friends anymore anyway, and part of the reason we drifted apart because after I learned that she had feelings for me and was too afraid to trust me with them, I kind of had a hard time respecting her anymore. I really didn't have any romantic inclinations of my own towards her, but I liked her as a friend and I would have been willing to give it a try and see what developed if she'd just been honest with me.

The second time I did make the move and got shot down summarily. Was recent, and still dealing with the fallout of that, if we're being honest. The self-doubt, the disappointment, constantly wondering 'what if', the anger and sadness that I thought I had under total control but that keep bubbling up randomly the last few days... yeah. It's not been fun.

So yeah, I don't have a problem with dating a friend. It's just that cases were dating becomes an issue in my friendships, my friends seem to have a problem with dating me. Hence: pursuit of a relationship first. Though I'm starting to think that might be too soon as well, and maybe I'm overcompensating for the second incident above...
To be quite honest, there is nothing such as "too soon." Like I said, women generally will friendzone you quickly, once they get to know you. And once friended, as you've found out, very few will actually overcome their fear and "risk the friendship" to see if something can develop.

The air of mystery is a powerful attractor to them. So really, you can't approach any potential prospect until you've decided what you want from them. Perfect your approaches through practice, and you can at least get a few dates. Hold as much back as you can, and if it goes on long enough, you'll get her invested enough such that she'll stick with you.

It goes partially for women as well as men, that we will rarely get approached by the ones we harbor crushes towards. So it's only through direct action that you even get your shot.

It's just the way our culture has evolved. If we want something different from culture, then we have to be willing to change ourselves; such as be more willing to date friends and being emotionally mature enough to keep the friendship even if the relationship doesn't work out. The payoffs for such are immense, but fear holds many of us back.
Kaijo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-22, 13:52   Link #7800
whitepearl
Dietrich fan #681675
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: New York
Send a message via AIM to whitepearl Send a message via MSN to whitepearl
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
The self-doubt, the disappointment, constantly wondering 'what if', the anger and sadness that I thought I had under total control but that keep bubbling up randomly the last few days... yeah. It's not been fun.
I've been there before...it is definitely not fun to experience.
__________________
Go Yankees.

Twitter
whitepearl is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
advice, break-ups, dating, dating after divorce, divorce, happiness, love, pairings, single dad, single mom

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 19:40.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
We use Silk.