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Old 2011-02-12, 21:45   Link #8121
Kaijo
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Suspicion will kill a relationship just as good as someone actively cheating.

Having said that, there are some very good cheaters out there, and it's entirely possible that you'll never find out unless you look. The key is to know your partner and have specific ground rules set.

For instance, if I go out, I'd let her know where I was going and approximately how long I might be gone, and make sure she has a way to contact me if she needs to. The main purpose being in case of an emergency, and if I'm gone too long, she can check up to see if I'm alright. But the side benefit is that it would allay suspicion.

The other major ground is to be someone who doesn't blow up and get made and make rash decisions upon an emotional moment. If I blow up at little things, people will be less likely to want to come to me with the truth. But if I cultivate an air that I can calmly and rationally discuss anything, then if she did something like have a one-night stand affair or were interested in someone else, she'd know she could come to me without me blowing up at her.

This can be hard for some to do, because humans are generally more emotional by nature. But I find the it pays off, because people will honestly and bluntly tell me things, knowing I won't get upset at them. Hell, I have a couple of friends that have had people blow them off because of various reasons. But I haven't yet, no matter how whiny or bad they might become at times (and they realize this, but are more emboldened because they know I won't abandon them).

In other news, in addition to the girl that's been flirting with me through IM's (although I haven't really responded to it), I've got someone at work who has been showing interest. Heard she's been asking a bit about me and she's real friendly towards me, but I didn't think anything of it. But she's asked me to lunch, and I thought, "why not?" Not sure anything will come of it, especially since I am very wary of getting involved with anyone, but I'll go with the flow for now, not really encouraging anything. I don't want to lead her on, but I don't want to outright ask her intentions, either, in case she really is just being friendly.

At this point, I think the most I could would be a short fling, anyway.
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Old 2011-02-13, 01:46   Link #8122
Magin
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I have a question for y'all; or at least, I want to see what you guys have to say

Back in my first post on this thread (quite a few pages ago), I explained my current situation: dated a co=worker, had a lot of good times, but we eventually broke up because apparently things that were extremely private matters were getting out in the open. And even despite the break-up, we still have been working together, because finding a job around here... hard as all hell.

Anyways, it's been about 7 months since we broke up, and at this point, we're pretty good friends again. Hell, the other night I was even invited over to her place for the first time since the break-up, mostly to just talk and hang out as friends. Now tonight, I heard a rumor that. because she's going to be transferring to another section of where we work, that she is starting to very slowly consider perhaps get back together with me (in about a month)... she's had a couple relationships since me, and I also understand that the relationship she was in with me was either her second or third longest. Now, this is something I heard secondhand, and so I'm still very skeptical of it actually being true. But assuming that this is more than just a rumor, and in a month's time time it turns out to be real, should I even consider getting getting back with her, or should I go the route of "an ex is an ex for a reason"? About the biggest thing that's changed since then is that I've learned to keep certain information to myself, and also to really listen to people. As the immediate moment, I would like to hang out with her as a friends more often... hell, she even said that myself and another co-worker who she's very close friends with (this one is also a guy) are her Valentines for this year (a day that I also say is really Singles Awareness Day). Then there's the fact that she said "hey, whether I have a boyfriend or not, if you want to just hang as friends at my house, you just need to ask"

So... what do y'all think of this?
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Old 2011-02-13, 02:50   Link #8123
Ricky Controversy
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Originally Posted by Magin View Post
I have a question for y'all; or at least, I want to see what you guys have to say

Back in my first post on this thread (quite a few pages ago), I explained my current situation: dated a co=worker, had a lot of good times, but we eventually broke up because apparently things that were extremely private matters were getting out in the open. And even despite the break-up, we still have been working together, because finding a job around here... hard as all hell.

Anyways, it's been about 7 months since we broke up, and at this point, we're pretty good friends again. Hell, the other night I was even invited over to her place for the first time since the break-up, mostly to just talk and hang out as friends. Now tonight, I heard a rumor that. because she's going to be transferring to another section of where we work, that she is starting to very slowly consider perhaps get back together with me (in about a month)... she's had a couple relationships since me, and I also understand that the relationship she was in with me was either her second or third longest. Now, this is something I heard secondhand, and so I'm still very skeptical of it actually being true. But assuming that this is more than just a rumor, and in a month's time time it turns out to be real, should I even consider getting getting back with her, or should I go the route of "an ex is an ex for a reason"? About the biggest thing that's changed since then is that I've learned to keep certain information to myself, and also to really listen to people. As the immediate moment, I would like to hang out with her as a friends more often... hell, she even said that myself and another co-worker who she's very close friends with (this one is also a guy) are her Valentines for this year (a day that I also say is really Singles Awareness Day). Then there's the fact that she said "hey, whether I have a boyfriend or not, if you want to just hang as friends at my house, you just need to ask"

So... what do y'all think of this?
Well, you've said a lot about what she's saying and thinking, but comparatively little about what YOU are thinking. You want to hang out with her as a friend more often...great, but that could very well mean that you just want to be her friend and nothing else. First things first, don't let yourself get swept along by what other people are saying or thinking about it: figure out your own feelings.

Once you know that, then it's possible to proceed in a bit more detail.
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Old 2011-02-13, 04:06   Link #8124
Kafriel
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an ex is an ex for a reason
Isn't the reason in your case technicalities and office gossip? If she transfers (and assuming it's ok for you to be in a relationship with her), I don't see what's wrong with getting back together, unless you want to be friends and nothing else. Now, since she's told you that you can hang around again, and you seem to like it, why not go for it? If you feel that you want to go further later on, you can always talk with her about it, no? Just be careful as to what you do until she gets transferred, even walls have ears...
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Singles Awareness Day
SAD for short, that's so mean
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Old 2011-02-13, 04:15   Link #8125
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Originally Posted by Kafriel View Post
Quote:
Singles Awareness Day
SAD for short, that's so mean
Damn... now I'm feeling bad about trolling my anime/mahjong about how I was sharing a massive piece of chocolate cake with my girlfriend while surrounded by male nerds last time we went for dinner. In retrospect, it might have been a bad time of year.

I suppose I could always point out that its not like I have a harem or anything.
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Old 2011-02-13, 09:30   Link #8126
SaintessHeart
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Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0 View Post
Damn... now I'm feeling bad about trolling my anime/mahjong about how I was sharing a massive piece of chocolate cake with my girlfriend while surrounded by male nerds last time we went for dinner. In retrospect, it might have been a bad time of year.

I suppose I could always point out that its not like I have a harem or anything.
You are going to make her wear kemonomimi on this year's date, aren't you?

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SAD for short, that's so mean
Been celebrating it since 2000.
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Old 2011-02-13, 12:04   Link #8127
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I suppose I could always point out that its not like I have a harem or anything.
Not yet, anyway...
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Old 2011-02-13, 17:43   Link #8128
Jinto
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My phone is like my computer. Touch it and you die. I don't care who it is doing the touching.
*touches your computer* Err, don't mind me.. I am just going to verify the transitive closure of your statement. That brings me to the most important question: what happens, when you touch it?
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Old 2011-02-13, 20:36   Link #8129
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The universe collapses upon itself!
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Old 2011-02-13, 21:46   Link #8130
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The universe collapses upon itself!
I thought that only happens when you try to divide by zero.
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Old 2011-02-13, 22:34   Link #8131
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No, that might happen if I meet a girl and an actual relationship results.



I kid, I kid.
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Old 2011-02-14, 00:38   Link #8132
Ascaloth
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So today's the first real Valentine's i'll be able to spend with my girl (she...was'nt around last year), and she outright asked a card from me, since I've never gotten her one before.

<--- Fails as a BF.

So I went out last night to get one...and somehow ended up shelling out as well for some chocs, a linked pair of teddy pigs (long story), along with 5 feather roses I will be getting shortly.

-.-"

I overdid it a little, didn't I? I didn't want to post this in the Valentine thread since there seems to be a lot of SAD celebrators there, and I'm not feeling up to rubbing their faces in it.
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Old 2011-02-14, 00:40   Link #8133
SaintessHeart
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Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
So today's the first real Valentine's i'll be able to spend with my girl (she...was'nt around last year), and she outright asked a card from me, since I've never gotten her one before.

<--- Fails as a BF.

So I went out last night to get one...and somehow ended up shelling out as well for some chocs, a linked pair of teddy pigs (long story), along with 5 feather roses I will be getting shortly.

-.-"

I overdid it a little, didn't I? I didn't want to post this in the Valentine thread since there seems to be a lot of SAD celebrators there, and I'm not feeling up to rubbing their faces in it.
Shouldn't you bring her to Funan, 4th floor La Tendo, and get her an anime figurine?

Or Chinatown Point 2nd Floor, Pan In A Box, and get her a kemonomimi?
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Most of all, you have to be disciplined and you have to save, even if you hate our current financial system. Because if you don't save, then you're guaranteed to end up with nothing.
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Old 2011-02-14, 01:49   Link #8134
Knightrunner
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Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
So today's the first real Valentine's i'll be able to spend with my girl (she...was'nt around last year), and she outright asked a card from me, since I've never gotten her one before.

<--- Fails as a BF.

So I went out last night to get one...and somehow ended up shelling out as well for some chocs, a linked pair of teddy pigs (long story), along with 5 feather roses I will be getting shortly.

-.-"

I overdid it a little, didn't I? I didn't want to post this in the Valentine thread since there seems to be a lot of SAD celebrators there, and I'm not feeling up to rubbing their faces in it.
lol so you decide to rub it on us here . At least the title Valentine tread warns us somebody will rub something in our faces. I like to here the story in why you pick teddy pigs I think you overdid it depending how much you spend. If I had a girlfriend and I knew she is a coffee person I would buy her a Baskin robbin drink then spend some quality time with her during dinner time. If she is a flower person then I would buy flowers from Cosco. I think they are usually $15 for over 15 roses.

Remember: The most important thing is the quality time and maybe the card.
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Old 2011-02-14, 02:18   Link #8135
Ascaloth
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lol so you decide to rub it on us here . At least the title Valentine tread warns us somebody will rub something in our faces. I like to here the story in why you pick teddy pigs I think you overdid it depending how much you spend. If I had a girlfriend and I knew she is a coffee person I would buy her a Baskin robbin drink then spend some quality time with her during dinner time. If she is a flower person then I would buy flowers from Cosco. I think they are usually $15 for over 15 roses.

Remember: The most important thing is the quality time and maybe the card.
Her term of endearment for me is Vietnamese for what essentially translates to "fat pig". I usually tease her with phrases in the same language which amounts to "eat like pig" and "sleep like pig". Honestly, teddy pigs are about as appropriate as it gets. .D
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Old 2011-02-14, 02:21   Link #8136
Knightrunner
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Her term of endearment for me is Vietnamese for what essentially translates to "fat pig". I usually tease her with phrases in the same language which amounts to "eat like pig" and "sleep like pig". Honestly, teddy pigs are about as appropriate as it gets. .D
Wonderful story Now it makes sense. Are you planning to take her in any interesting place?
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Old 2011-02-14, 03:33   Link #8137
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I was originally going to take my girlfriend to a place that does insane waffles (like, white chocolate almond or apple custard waffles) for Valentine's Day, then realized it isn't open Mondays. Would you guys believe me if she suggested we go to a maid cafe (well, more accurately, cake shop) instead?

I can't make this stuff up.

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Not yet, anyway...
I actually do know quite a few good looking local cosplayers. On the flip side, when I answered "a harem" in response to my girlfriend's question of what I'd wish for in exchange for becoming a magical girl, the response wasn't quite what I'd hoped.
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Old 2011-02-14, 03:59   Link #8138
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You know the saying "People that tend to lie may die." I'm not sure why it would be strange for your girlfriend to suggest where to go . Actually, your lucky because your girlfriend cannot complain that you choose the wrong place to date *sarcastic grin*
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Old 2011-02-14, 04:19   Link #8139
zebra
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
Her term of endearment for me is Vietnamese for what essentially translates to "fat pig". I usually tease her with phrases in the same language which amounts to "eat like pig" and "sleep like pig". Honestly, teddy pigs are about as appropriate as it gets. .D
I personally think she'll be quite happy about that May laugh about it and give you a light slap on the shoulder, but will love it nonetheless.

I also don't think you overdid it. Better one thing too much than one too little

Quote:
Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0 View Post
I was originally going to take my girlfriend to a place that does insane waffles (like, white chocolate almond or apple custard waffles) for Valentine's Day, then realized it isn't open Mondays. Would you guys believe me if she suggested we go to a maid cafe (well, more accurately, cake shop) instead?
Cake sounds fitting to me If she doesn't mind maids, there is no reason she wouldn't like that I think.
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Old 2011-02-14, 04:45   Link #8140
Kafriel
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On the flip side, when I answered "a harem" in response to my girlfriend's question of what I'd wish for in exchange for becoming a magical girl, the response wasn't quite what I'd hoped.
A few questions...
1) Are you the one who would cosplay the magical girl?
2) Would the harem be in cosplay too?
3) Why would you want a harem, usually harem boys end up with no girl!
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