AnimeSuki Forums

Register Forum Rules FAQ Members List Social Groups Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Go Back   AnimeSuki Forum > General > General Chat

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 2011-02-22, 17:38   Link #8281
Knightrunner
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: United States--- California
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
Interestingly enough, that doesn't matter. Once you get put into friend territory, you're sunk, and by being a bit crazy, you keep her intrigued. Will it work with everyone? Obviously not. But you'd be surprised at how many it does with.
I see what you mean by being friendzoned, but I don't want to look that crazy. I think people will believe I'm crazy if I acted crazy. lol I don't exactly have cute cuddly features. Hmmmm. I might post a pic. in the other trend later this week to show you what I mean. Just think of someone that has a mustache, wears dark cloths ( not in a goth way), wears one of those french hats, brown skin, slim side, and always where shorts. Can't afford acting like a loon wearing that.
__________________
http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/6139/omk1.jpg
Credit to grylsygaeger

Last edited by Knightrunner; 2011-02-22 at 18:17.
Knightrunner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-22, 18:08   Link #8282
Kaijo
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow, in a house dropped on an ugly, old woman.
Send a message via AIM to Kaijo Send a message via MSN to Kaijo
It's all in how you present yourself.

During one of my high school years, a relatively unknown guy was running for student president. During an assembly where each one was going to give a speech, he entered wearing a bright green suit, a large cat-in-the-hat cartoonish hat, and using a Willy Wonka type cane. His first words when he stepped up to the mic were: "You'll have to forgive me if a I seem a little nervous; I've only been popular for a week now."

Had the assembly roaring in laughter. And he won the election later. Became especially popular with the ladies, too.

Crazy does work if you do it right, because it's not really crazy that does it; it's confidence. If you can keep up a slightly crazy facade, that's a way to showcase the confidence that will attract a woman and keep her interested. And the best way to build that kind of confidence is to just jump in and do it over and over until it's natural and girls don't scare you anymore.

It's a kind of confidence that says: "I don't really care what people think of me, and I'm just so good I can get away with this."
Kaijo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-22, 18:27   Link #8283
Ricky Controversy
Frandle & Nightbag
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Alternatively, just understanding your actual personality and having confidence in that works, too.

Leave the eccentricity to us strange and charismatic devils.
__________________
Ricky Controversy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-22, 18:42   Link #8284
Crimrui
Hollow
 
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: River of solitude
Send a message via Skype™ to Crimrui
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knightrunner View Post
Lol. That only works if you have strong muscular guys for friends. It would be funny if my friends tried that stunt then they end up running to the other direction. Maybe I should try that Coca-Cola commerical trick.
Hey, that would be cool. But you know, trying something like that and failing miserably will lead to a huge laughter between all of you, which again, has its charms

There is one thing that you should understand. It's all right to ask help in how to approach a girl, but you know that every second girl is different and one approach will not work the same on every girl. One likes to flirt a bit and other one likes to get to the point immediately. You shouldn't start something that you're not good at, especially trying a pick-up lines if you're a shy person, it could only get worse. So if you don't have any info on her you should just act natural and be honest with her.
__________________
Crimrui is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-22, 22:31   Link #8285
synaesthetic
blinded by blood
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Oakland, CA
Age: 30
Send a message via AIM to synaesthetic Send a message via Skype™ to synaesthetic
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ricky Controversy View Post
Alternatively, just understanding your actual personality and having confidence in that works, too.

Leave the eccentricity to us strange and charismatic devils.
It's not like you really need to worry about anything at all, considering your looks!
__________________
synaesthetic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-22, 23:31   Link #8286
tehmuffinmon
Seleção
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Age: 23
Argh, so I have a bit of a dillema here, haha. A girl I honestly never spoke to before had added me as a friend on Facebook...we went to school together, and that's about it. In any case, that's not the problem. A little over a week ago I made a really short video on facebook about how I had the flu. It was basically just a joke video, it was about 20 seconds long, and I did it out of sheer boredom because I had the flu and had nothing else to do. Somehow this girl became smitten with me after seeing this video...no joke. So we started IMing each other and whatnot, she gave me her phone number right away (despite the fact that I don't have a cell phone and I didn't even ask for her number at all), and asked me tons of questions. We talked the following couple days as well, and I ended up meeting her in person. I think she's cute, yes, and the purely physical side of my brain wants to say go for it.
Now I don't want to seem chauvinistic, but I am a male, and the very first night we met she wore a shirt that revealed a lot of cleavage and sort of nonchalantly mentioned her cup size. DDDs. ._.
I don't want to seem like a pervert, I'm just saying...I'm typically actually good with not staring at cleavage, but this was different, haha. I was distracted. So I was sort of excited based simply on the physical factor, so I figured I'd see what would happen if I hung out with her again and kept talking to her.
Well, I'm not sure what I want at this point. A couple days later my friends and I went to a Japanese culture exchange at another friend's college, and we met a number of cute Japanese girls. Now my friend's infatuated with one of them and after hanging out with a couple of them since then, I find them to be downright adorable and bubbly and fun to be around.
I don't want to selectively choose girls by race, but this does tie in to the girl who is smitten with me currently. My purely male, sexually-driven side is urging me to pursue her, but otherwise, I'm not entirely sure I want to. She was fun to hang out with, but she revealed to me that she suffers from clinical depression, and the last couple times I've spoken to her haven't been entirely pleasant as a result. I reaaally dislike drama and all that; my mom is bipolar, so I'm no stranger to mood swings and the like. When this girl started talking to me on an awkwardly personal level and basically started wallowing in self-pity, not to sound mean-spirited or anything, I started to hesitate.
I liked her personality and obviously, physically I find her desirable, but I also would not cope well with the drama and depression. I think she'd be the type to become clingy. Furthermore, I have a feeling she would pretty much throw herself at me and end up feeling far more strongly for me than I for her, and I don't think it's fair to toy with her feelings like that. My friends have already told me that she asks them questions about me constantly and told them that she "feels like a schoolgirl" thinking about me and stuff like that. A couple nights ago on IM she told me she was really tired and more or less depressed/sick, but it was up to me when she went to bed. I found that sort of notion a bit disconcerting. We really haven't known each other long at all yet she feels this attached and attracted to me already. Stuff like my aforementioned example sort of make me feel cool in a way, but I get the feeling she's prepared to submit to me and I find that a bit desperate, I suppose.

It's cool to fantasize about an attractive girl becoming infatuated with you and everything, but for me at least, it all came about too soon and too strongly. Now I'm struggling to figure out what exactly I want. I haven't dated in a long time and I have a chance to easily get with this girl who's nice and attractive, but suffers from clinical depression. Part of me wants to help her because of that, but the other part of me is too weirded out simply because I'm reminded of my own experiences with drama like that.

But I have a feeling if I turn this girl down, I won't find another girl for quite some time, so I don't know. :O Whew...I wrote a lot. Any suggestions?
tehmuffinmon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-23, 00:00   Link #8287
Kaijo
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow, in a house dropped on an ugly, old woman.
Send a message via AIM to Kaijo Send a message via MSN to Kaijo
Quote:
Originally Posted by tehmuffinmon View Post
*snipping most of the wall of text*

But I have a feeling if I turn this girl down, I won't find another girl for quite some time, so I don't know. :O Whew...I wrote a lot. Any suggestions?
If you get involved with this girl, and decide to back out at a later date, it's going to crush her. It sounds like you're interested in her purely for the physical, and that never ends well (unless you are upfront and honest and the other party is fine with it). You might try telling her that you find her attractive, but you don't think you can handle someone who is bipolar. At best, it would be a physical relationship, and so you don't want to hurt her.

That leaves the door for her to decide whether she wants to continue pursuing you, accepting your stance, or to back out totally for now.

It's always tempting to go for a girl, especially one that is in to you. And from one standpoint, having a relationship does give you some experience. But you have to be open honest with her from the start, or things will go bad later. It also partially sounds like you want her just to say you have a girlfriend. Really, that should be the least of your concerns.
Kaijo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-23, 00:19   Link #8288
tehmuffinmon
Seleção
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Age: 23
Thanks for the response! I definitely get the feeling that she wouldn't be down with a purely physical relationship, and in all honesty, neither would I. I didn't want it to come across quite like that. I could see a relationship being possible from the couple of times we hung out, though the whole depression aspect is definitely something that's an obstacle. She's funny and nice and open to my hobbies, but at the same time, I'm afraid that if I were to take it further I'd see a more clingy side to her, and I don't want to feel smothered. My last girlfriend was what I would consider to be out of my league, but she also had an insatiable appetite for attention and couldn't stand not being in a relationship. I feel as though that's the main reason she instigated things in the first place. We didn't go out that long, but she was so clingy that it definitely felt like we did. We spent practically every free moment of every day together, or so it seemed. *scratches back of head* Haha, sorry for rambling, I've just been thinking about it a lot lately. I'll have to think about it and consider what to do. Thank you for the feedback.
tehmuffinmon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-23, 00:31   Link #8289
Asuras
Dictadere~!
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: On the front lines, fighting for inderpendence.
As a future note Muffinbroski, I suggest you indent your walls of text a bit more.

That aside, I think it's really in your best interest to search deep and see if you feel you can really deal with this drama you speak of. If it's something that you think will disrupt a relationship later on, then I wouldn't delve too deep.

If you feel more often than not that your basing your feelings on physical attraction, then that may present problems later as well. Try your best to focus on her personality next time you go out or something; see if she's someone who has the best of both worlds when depression isn't happening.

I'm not one to really be listened to, but that's my two cents.

Or one cent. Whatever.
__________________
Asuras is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-23, 08:43   Link #8290
JuGG
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Nottingham, UK
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Asuras View Post
As a future note Muffinbroski, I suggest you indent your walls of text a bit more.
Maybe not indentation but a single line paragraph space should do the trick. Lots of lazy people *points at self* tend to just go "WTF-WALL-'O'-TEXT" and scroll faster when they see longer posts without spacing.

On the idea of a wholly physical relationship--it's probably not going to work out. Just like how a purely emotional one can have problems if the other party isn't happy with it. However, if you're worried about things becoming too clingy before you're certain then that's an obstacle. Without going out with her it is going to be hard to tell if she really is that sort of person--and you shouldn't let an opportunity go because of a misconception. Are you sure you're not just thinking she's clingy because you've come out of a clingy relationship previously?

Certainly, if she smothers you and you don't feel comfortable or generally things start going awry early on then you can break off without anyone getting to deeply hurt. And at least you've tried.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Asuras View Post
Or one cent. Whatever.
I'd say this is another cent too. So now you have 2-3 cents in your pocket. Go go go.
__________________
JuGG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-23, 10:00   Link #8291
tehmuffinmon
Seleção
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Age: 23
*jingles the 3 cents around in his pocket excitedly*

Yeah, sorry about the wall of text, haha. I never bother indenting or spacing it out, I'll try and do that in the future. Thanks for the feedback, guys, I appreciate it.

JuGG, that more or less sums it up to some extent, I think. I would agree that it's hard to accurately gauge how clingy she might become considering my experience, but at the same time, she came on very strong from the start and it hasn't really diminished since then.

She'd IM me the moment I'd get online (if she was on) and essentially has told me tons of personal stuff without me prying in the slightest. Maybe it's just because I'm bad with drama, but I already feel a little smothered because of how fast she's trying to take things, I suppose.

Argh, I still don't know. @_@
tehmuffinmon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-23, 12:24   Link #8292
Nightbat®
Deadpan Snarker
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: The Neverlands
Age: 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by tehmuffinmon View Post
But I have a feeling if I turn this girl down, I won't find another girl for quite some time, so I don't know.
So you're just 'keeping her for your own convenience'?

*shakes head*
__________________
Nightbat® is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-23, 13:37   Link #8293
Konakaga
Yuri Moderator
*Moderator
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: FL, USA
Age: 26
Send a message via AIM to Konakaga Send a message via Skype™ to Konakaga
Quote:
Originally Posted by tehmuffinmon View Post
She'd IM me the moment I'd get online (if she was on) and essentially has told me tons of personal stuff without me prying in the slightest. Maybe it's just because I'm bad with drama, but I already feel a little smothered because of how fast she's trying to take things, I suppose.
Well I think it's reasonable for her to want to tell you at start about the clinical problems she has I mean, so she can find out how you feel about the issues she has.

And it's better she tells you the truth at the beginning, then for you to slowly find out about it while being with her for months/weeks isn't it?
__________________
Haruka & Yuu - Sakura TrickAvatar & Sig by TheEroKing
MAL(KagamiHiiragi)
Konakaga is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-23, 13:49   Link #8294
idiffer
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Russia, Moscow
Age: 25
Send a message via ICQ to idiffer
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightbat® View Post
So you're just 'keeping her for your own convenience'?

*shakes head*
lol.
+1
this message is too short to post, so says the system.
so.
tehmuffinmon
you'll meet plenty of ppl, if you TRY. i don't try at all and i still get to meet interesting ppl. i spend 80 % of my free time staring at the computer screen. i even met a VERY smart girl. thats like a goldmine.
__________________
My posts seem retarted? I invoke the freedomof choice upon thee to choose one of the below.
a) I’m batshit insane or mentally challenged. Nyan!
b) Wasu~p?! *brofist*
c) Your mind is too narrow to embrace my genius, de geso.
d) I was accidentally dropped into a barrel of whiskey, so now I am constantly drunk.
e) Go home and die! Dattebayo!
idiffer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-23, 14:05   Link #8295
RadiantBeam
Test Drive
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Age: 23
Send a message via AIM to RadiantBeam Send a message via Skype™ to RadiantBeam
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightbat® View Post
So you're just 'keeping her for your own convenience'?

*shakes head*
Sad, but not all that unusual or uncommon. A lot of people are in relationships simply because it suits them.
__________________
RadiantBeam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-23, 16:12   Link #8296
tehmuffinmon
Seleção
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Age: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightbat® View Post
So you're just 'keeping her for your own convenience'?

*shakes head*
No. Gah, I worded myself poorly.

I don't even know exactly what I meant in retrospect, I was somewhat drowsy when I wrote that. I didn't mean to come across as a prick or anything, I just haven't been in a relationship in quite some time and have been leaning towards giving her a shot, but I'm conflicted because of the aforementioned problems.

EDIT - Bah, "giving her a shot" sounds a bit objectifying. Essentially I liked where things were going and honestly believed there was some level of chemistry, and figured that a relationship could easily come out of it. But now I'm leaning more towards that not being a good idea, for both myself and for her. I'd feel terrible for hurting her, and that's the last thing I want.

And I wouldn't 'keep a girl for my own convenience', because that would be simply immoral and unfair towards her. I know that. Argh, too much stuff has happened lately, haha, my mind's in disarray. My bad, guys. @_@

And while I can see the point of her telling me about the clinical depression right away, I think a lot of it also had to do with the timing. It was right after coming back from the culture exchange thing, and I was feeling great. It was a very satisfying night overall, and I came home in high spirits.

That's when she IMed me and sort of unloaded a lot of the stress she had apparently been going through, etc. I still don't know exactly how to word things without seeming insensitive, and I can't think of what to add at the moment, so I'll just leave it at that for now.
tehmuffinmon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-23, 17:06   Link #8297
Nightbat®
Deadpan Snarker
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: The Neverlands
Age: 37
the only thing I can tell you now is that being 'chivalrous' is just a way of protecting your conscience
You're gonna end up the bad guy if you break it up, no if's but's or maybe's



What you're questioning is if there's a need to be the bad guy


Say you'll be away a weekend, lock yourself in your room in that time
Grab your mind with all the "what if's" currently running around in it and do some serious thinking
__________________
Nightbat® is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-23, 20:00   Link #8298
whitepearl
Dietrich fan #681675
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: New York
Send a message via AIM to whitepearl Send a message via MSN to whitepearl
Quote:
Originally Posted by tehmuffinmon View Post
Argh, so I have a bit of a dillema here, haha. A girl I honestly never spoke to before had added me as a friend on Facebook...we went to school together, and that's about it. In any case, that's not the problem. A little over a week ago I made a really short video on facebook about how I had the flu. It was basically just a joke video, it was about 20 seconds long, and I did it out of sheer boredom because I had the flu and had nothing else to do. Somehow this girl became smitten with me after seeing this video...no joke. So we started IMing each other and whatnot, she gave me her phone number right away (despite the fact that I don't have a cell phone and I didn't even ask for her number at all), and asked me tons of questions. We talked the following couple days as well, and I ended up meeting her in person. I think she's cute, yes, and the purely physical side of my brain wants to say go for it.
Now I don't want to seem chauvinistic, but I am a male, and the very first night we met she wore a shirt that revealed a lot of cleavage and sort of nonchalantly mentioned her cup size. DDDs. ._.
She sounds desperate herself, with her giving you her number and the revealing shirt. She definitely wanted attention.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tehmuffinmon View Post
My purely male, sexually-driven side is urging me to pursue her, but otherwise, I'm not entirely sure I want to. She was fun to hang out with, but she revealed to me that she suffers from clinical depression, and the last couple times I've spoken to her haven't been entirely pleasant as a result. I reaaally dislike drama and all that; my mom is bipolar, so I'm no stranger to mood swings and the like. When this girl started talking to me on an awkwardly personal level and basically started wallowing in self-pity, not to sound mean-spirited or anything, I started to hesitate.
As you should. The depression part should've made you apply the figurative brakes.


Quote:
Originally Posted by tehmuffinmon View Post
I liked her personality and obviously, physically I find her desirable, but I also would not cope well with the drama and depression. I think she'd be the type to become clingy. Furthermore, I have a feeling she would pretty much throw herself at me and end up feeling far more strongly for me than I for her, and I don't think it's fair to toy with her feelings like that. My friends have already told me that she asks them questions about me constantly and told them that she "feels like a schoolgirl" thinking about me and stuff like that. A couple nights ago on IM she told me she was really tired and more or less depressed/sick, but it was up to me when she went to bed. I found that sort of notion a bit disconcerting. We really haven't known each other long at all yet she feels this attached and attracted to me already. Stuff like my aforementioned example sort of make me feel cool in a way, but I get the feeling she's prepared to submit to me and I find that a bit desperate, I suppose.
It is desperation from her. Gotta wonder if she went through a breakup recently. Or, does she throw herself at any and all guys she remotely finds interesting?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tehmuffinmon View Post
But I have a feeling if I turn this girl down, I won't find another girl for quite some time, so I don't know. :O Whew...I wrote a lot. Any suggestions?
False. Don't think that you will not find another girl.

I don't know where you live but believe me, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Plenty. Just get yourself out there and meet new people.
__________________
Go Yankees.

Twitter
whitepearl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-23, 22:58   Link #8299
tehmuffinmon
Seleção
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Age: 23
Thanks, guys, I appreciate all the advice. It really does help.

I don't think she throws herself like that every guy, and she hasn't said anything about any recent relationship or breakup. Also, I do plan on being more proactive in meeting girls from now on. I've been getting better about it lately, I can tell; I'm just feeling a little anxious is all.

I do plan on doing some thinking, definitely. Thanks again. ^_^
tehmuffinmon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-24, 01:07   Link #8300
germanturkey
Smiling Monster
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Age: 25
but whatever you do, don't make decisions that will lead you looking back and saying, "I should have ..."
__________________
Aria is the best series EVER. Rewatch Origination with me.

Blessed are those who listen to headphones, for they listen to the sound of heaven.
germanturkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
advice, break-ups, dating, dating after divorce, divorce, happiness, love, pairings, single dad, single mom

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:43.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
We use Silk.