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Old 2008-11-01, 11:28   Link #861
Ledgem
Love Yourself
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
True, that. I'm just telling you that you shouldn't get too chummy with a girl, because once she thinks of you as a real friend, it's hard for her to think of you as anything else.
Depends on the girl. In my experience it also helps if you're already dating someone, but of course that provokes a chicken-and-egg scenario (and is also not a situation you want to be in).
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Old 2008-11-01, 12:39   Link #862
Falcon1991
K-ON and Haruhi fan
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Norwich, England.
Age: 22
I wish there was a girl who I knew who actually liked anime and video games.
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Old 2008-11-01, 12:54   Link #863
Ascaloth
I don't give a damn, dude
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In Despair
Age: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcon1991 View Post
I wish there was a girl who I knew who actually liked anime and video games.
They exist. They're just exceedingly rare. And they're usually already snapped up especially if they're cute into the mix. I should know.
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Old 2008-11-01, 14:10   Link #864
Waking_Dreamer
Dreamer King
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: lost - with no intention to be found...
Age: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcon1991 View Post
I wish there was a girl who I knew who actually liked anime and video games.
If you ever find yourself with the opportunity - Take it! Trust me. I let a couple slip away.

One time early in the morning in the uni computers room, a girl sat a couple of computers adjacent to me and I saw here put a dvd inside. It turns out they had FMA eps on them. She was quickly sampling the eps, quietly laughing at the Ed vs Roy ep. I even had to walk past her to leave the room...I didnt say a word.

Though in my defense, I only had a few hours of sleep the previous night and I was frantically trying to get an assignment done for a presentation in the next 20 mins...As enjoyable and easy a conversation with her it would have probably been, I had a lot of other things on my sleep deprived mind.

You should definitely open your mouth and say something if youre ever in a similar situation. Whatever you do, dont analyse the situation or start thinking about it. Every minute you have that self conversation in your mind, the less likely it actually happen in reality. Its not an option - just take a deep breath and same something!
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Old 2008-11-01, 14:45   Link #865
BOOKGLUTTON
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: California
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eczema View Post
I haven't been following this topic, so apologies if this has been asked already.

Okay, I'm a noob at this stuff. I can talk to girls pretty fine usually, but trying to get them attracted to me, or flirting, is something I don't know how to do. Also, what is everyone's opinions on the friend zone? It seems easier and better to be friends first, but I don't want to sort of spring it on my friend all of a sudden that I'm attracted to them. It could jeopardize the friendship.
You need to come off as a polite individual, maybe somewhat flirtatious. After getting to know her invite her to lunch on a weekend (preferably a sat) ask her to maybe go out some other time. Don't let her pay for anything . Don't get to integrated with her friends or other things until you two are dating. If you do, she may not want to date you for fear of her friends getting involved.
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Old 2008-11-01, 15:31   Link #866
Amray
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: England
Age: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by NightShade99 View Post
just believe me when i say that younger girls and older men
dont work out.....it gets awkward......but when i say old i mean like
8-10 years apart ^_^
Do not let my hopes down.....

Out of all seriousness though, the outcome of a relationship does not necassarily have anything to do with the age of the two persons involved, but instead the way in which they both act, not just towards one another, but also naturally. There are lots of people out there in the world and they are all different.

I have met some very mature young females, probably even more so maturer than myself (maybe) and I know that they could probably make a relationship work out fine, then it would depend on the male. If the male was responsible and was very caring, let is use...me as an example, I think that their relationship would work perfectly despite there being quite an age difference.

Again, I do not think that age is an important issue in cases such as this, especially when regarding a relationship.
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Old 2008-11-01, 15:53   Link #867
Xvoki
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: UK
Age: 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amray View Post
I do not think that age is an important issue in cases such as this, especially when regarding a relationship.
I agree, age "shouldn't" be a reason to avoid a relationship, but its hard to take you seriously with this font colour.
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Old 2008-11-01, 16:35   Link #868
Narona
Emotionless White Face
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
They exist. They're just exceedingly rare. And they're usually already snapped up especially if they're cute into the mix. I should know.
They exist. Again, the boys jump the gun . At leats in France, Girls who like videogames are not so rare. Maybe they don't play a lot, but a lot of girls ahve, for example, a Nintendo DS and some games. France is part of three most big Videogames market in Europe with Germany and the UK.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amray View Post
Do not let my hopes down.....

Out of all seriousness though, the outcome of a relationship does not necassarily have anything to do with the age of the two persons involved, but instead the way in which they both act, not just towards one another, but also naturally. There are lots of people out there in the world and they are all different.

I have met some very mature young females, probably even more so maturer than myself (maybe) and I know that they could probably make a relationship work out fine, then it would depend on the male. If the male was responsible and was very caring, let is use...me as an example, I think that their relationship would work perfectly despite there being quite an age difference.

Again, I do not think that age is an important issue in cases such as this, especially when regarding a relationship.
I deleted my post, but finally I want to post it again. I don't know if it can still work with the people of our current generation, but my parents have 10 years apart from each other and are still in love and happy.
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Old 2008-11-01, 16:35   Link #869
BOOKGLUTTON
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: California
Haha, that's exactly what I was thinking. ^^
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Old 2008-11-01, 16:53   Link #870
Falcon1991
K-ON and Haruhi fan
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Norwich, England.
Age: 22
Aww people. You've given me hope.

Well I'm doing a course with some people who I have known for years. So once I go to college or get a job, hopefully then I will meet someone.

I plan to work at a video game store, and I've seen some girls working there. So its a start!
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Old 2008-11-01, 17:01   Link #871
Narona
Emotionless White Face
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcon1991 View Post
Aww people. You've given me hope.

Well I'm doing a course with some people who I have known for years. So once I go to college or get a job, hopefully then I will meet someone.

I plan to work at a video game store, and I've seen some girls working there. So its a start!
There are also some girls who go in that kind of shops to buy videogames XD

It also reminds me a cute guy who was working in a videogames store here in Paris, he was always talking about Sony and Microsoft, as if it was a war (I didn't understand anything about what he was saying but he was very serious about it ) but he has quit the job apparently.
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Old 2008-11-01, 17:03   Link #872
Falcon1991
K-ON and Haruhi fan
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Norwich, England.
Age: 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
There are also some girls who go in that kind of shops to buy videogames XD.


Oh, that reminds me. I bought my first bit of manga in ten years last week, while I was browsing, I saw a girl there around my age looking too. Its probably due to me being socially inept but I was pleasantly surprised to see another person there who loved manga, in the same city as me, in the same country.
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Old 2008-11-01, 17:14   Link #873
Narona
Emotionless White Face
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcon1991 View Post


Oh, that reminds me. I bought my first bit of manga in ten years last week, while I was browsing, I saw a girl there around my age looking too. Its probably due to me being socially inept but I was pleasantly surprised to see another person there who loved manga, in the same city as me, in the same country.
I said that because your sentence was sounding like no girls go there to buy videogames XD

If you go to Paris someday, visit the mangas department of the FNAC, you should see some girls there. The few times that I go there, I was not alone.
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Old 2008-11-01, 17:18   Link #874
Falcon1991
K-ON and Haruhi fan
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Norwich, England.
Age: 22
That sounds good. Though one day I want to go to animé/manga's big daddy itself: Japan.

I'm going to be buying 'Japanese Coach' for my DS soon. So I'll learn the basics.
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Old 2008-11-01, 17:30   Link #875
Narona
Emotionless White Face
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcon1991 View Post
That sounds good. Though one day I want to go to animé/manga's big daddy itself: Japan.

I'm going to be buying 'Japanese Coach' for my DS soon. So I'll learn the basics.
I would like to visit Japan too, but not to meet some guys, just because it seems to be a beautiful country.

I really really like what I have seen of Tokyo, Kyoto and some other places from many documentaries and from photos that took my friends.

About what I've seen from it, the mangas/videogames stores are awesome

That's a bit offtopic XD
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Old 2008-11-01, 17:54   Link #876
Xvoki
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: UK
Age: 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
I deleted my post, but finally I want to post it again. I don't know if it can still work with the people of our current generation, but my parents have 10 years apart from each other and are still in love and happy.
I know many relationships where the age limit is 10 or more years apart. I personally don’t think to days generation is any different. I guess people do tend do find relationships with others of similar age, but its certainly not universal. Age has no limits in love.
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Old 2008-11-01, 18:24   Link #877
Mystique
Honyaku no Hime
*Fansubber
 
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcon1991 View Post
I wish there was a girl who I knew who actually liked anime and video games.
*coughthisforumandotheranimeforumscoughoranimecons cough*
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
They exist. They're just exceedingly rare. And they're usually already snapped up especially if they're cute into the mix. I should know.
We are?
Yeesh I'm a computing and japanese graduate, spent 6-7 years being surrounded by 90% males in all my compting classes.
For 6th form (age 16-19), we just messed around on the internet. For uni, well uni had deadlines and stuff, no time to socialise per say, we just got down to work.
But let's just say that the 'nice girl' syndrome exists
(And rather it was the cute guys that had the girlfriends already) >.>
Not to mention, once guys started talking about computer games, the internet, technology or football even, there was usually no stopping them xD
Which was fine by me, but you can see it just means we got along purely on shared interests and that's about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amray View Post
Do not let my hopes down.....

Out of all seriousness though, the outcome of a relationship does not necassarily have anything to do with the age of the two persons involved, but instead the way in which they both act, not just towards one another, but also naturally. There are lots of people out there in the world and they are all different.

I have met some very mature young females, probably even more so maturer than myself (maybe) and I know that they could probably make a relationship work out fine, then it would depend on the male. If the male was responsible and was very caring, let is use...me as an example, I think that their relationship would work perfectly despite there being quite an age difference.

Again, I do not think that age is an important issue in cases such as this, especially when regarding a relationship.
Within the teenage decade it makes a difference. I remember this having been discussed before.
But that's such a volitile age, where someone who's 16 going out with someone who's 21 are in completely different life stages, mainly via education (and she's still developing, whereas you may be more settled with yourself)
For a relationship to survive those changes, the chances are very low.

If she's 18 and you're 23, then yes, the general acceptance and chances of working increase some, she may be at uni by then and you may be working, so evenings and weekends usually are the time when a couple can spend time together (using an example from a friend with a fiance who's 7-8 years older than her)
But during high school or 6th form, it's difficult, she would be experiencing new things, seeing new people, being surrounded in new environments, growing up, things you've already experienced and done.
Her energies may transfer over to other activities instead of a relationship, there are quite a few reasons, but yes age does play a factor.
Not just in terms of maturity, but simply in terms of life stages.

If it's the case where like back in the 60's, 70's, the woman is going to be an immediate housewife with no other role but to serve her husband (with no other ambitions of her own) then yes, she can dedicate all her time and efforts to the relationship while the male works.
But in this day and age, both genders are out there, chasing dreams and desires, at 16 and 21, it will be diificult to sustain a relationship.
What also tends to happen is that you simply grow apart as you both mature in your respective enviroments.

If your relationship survives for another 3 years (so she's 19) and you guys are still strong then kudos to you both, but you have a tough time on your hands (as you're probably experiencing already), I wish you well with it.

Not saying it can't be done, but as someone who is viewing this objectively, I'm just telling you like it is, no sugarcoating.
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Old 2008-11-01, 18:33   Link #878
Narona
Emotionless White Face
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
I don't think that anyone said that it happens often, just that it happens sometimes even if it's really rare.

I know it's not the same generation but my mother is not so old, when she met my father she was 15... (sorry mom if you read this [you will not but who knows] but it's for the sake of this discussion) and she never was his "slave" . The word is too strong, but your sentence sounds like the women didn't have the right to say anything and such.:

Quote:
the woman is going to be an immediate housewife with no other role but to serve her husband (with no other ambitions of her own)
(And being an husband's slave (sorry ) was not common in the 60's 70's here [for the people who married at that time]. Was it like this in Japan?)

She just had different dreams and goals from the majority. A bit like me. I don't want to be a star or have the best job ever, I just dream about having what I call a normal life.

And I don't think I am alone in my generation even if it's rare. As i said to you by PM, if I had met "that guy", when I was 15, then I would have tried to stay with him no matter what, since my view about that is not so different from when I was younger.

Last edited by Narona; 2008-11-01 at 19:05.
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Old 2008-11-01, 19:19   Link #879
Mystique
Honyaku no Hime
*Fansubber
 
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...
I didn't use the word 'slave' - i said 'for women who want to serve their husbands with no other ambitions of their own.'
Being a dutiful housewife is an ambition and that's what she wants to concentrate on then fine, as I'm guessing that's what your mother did, she poured all her energy into the relationship for your father with nothing else in mind.
I used that example as being the case where marriages and relationships tend to last when the girl is like 15/16 and the guy 21 and older, otherwise, there's too many external factors that happen nowdays that dissuade one person away from focusing as much as they used to in a relationship with someone they care about.

But like you said, you would have tried to stay with him no matter what.
(Given up education? Take a part time job? Look after the house? At 15?)
It's still a sacrifice of sorts, and a risk to invest yourself into the relationship. As Ledgem said, don't fall into the trap of deluding yourself if something were to go wrong.
And as I said, once the inital desires of marriage and kids are achieved, what else is there between the two of you that'll keep the relationship strong after 10-15 years?
Apart from being a housewife and mother, what other skills and interests would you have? Would you have the time to learn about yourself, to develop anything new?

In the UK, the housewife was celebrated via the media during those times, though more during he 40's and 50's I guess (before the swinging sixties hit)
In Japan, there are many many reports on BBC, of wives now divorcing their husbands after finishing raising the kids and looking after the house while the husband worked all hours, there was nothing between her and her husband, he was like a stranger to her.
So they divorce and persue their own lives and hobbies, which doesn't necesarilly mean they find another man, but they finally start doing things simply for themselves, since they decided to set that aside at the young age that they got married.
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Old 2008-11-01, 19:20   Link #880
Kakashi
カカシ
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: London
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If my girlfriend knew I watched anime in my spare time, she would dump me. In a way I look down on her for not dumping me already.
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