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Old 2011-05-17, 23:45   Link #8801
Hooves
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Wouldnt that lead to a bad direction if the guy finds out what you were doing this whole time solidguy?
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Old 2011-05-17, 23:51   Link #8802
Slick_rick
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Originally Posted by Haladflire65 View Post
lol thanks for the advice, it's what I want to believe but am kind of afraid to, you know? Sometimes it seems really intimidating, seeing kids I'm friends with grinding on the dance floor making out with a guy (this is on our mandatory dance >.<). Where do people learn these things? Does it come naturally when you start going out with someone? I feel like I'm kind of... 'behind'.

I'll... I'll keep that last bit in mind
Don't try to "catch up" too much as that always leads to problems in my experience. My friend once advised me when I was first starting going out with girls to "not put the pussy on a pedestal" I'd advice the same. Don't put the penis on a pedestal. Just go out there and have fun but don't try to put too much importance on it. Guys will come whether you want them to our not. Might sound cliche but being yourself is the most important thing. Personally I just try to project confidence even if I not, like I was on stage doing a performance, while talking to a girl that I like.

Once you start going out with friends dancing comes pretty easy by watching or you can practice with friends. Its not that important either. Its not that important I utterly fail at dancing but I excel at a lot of other things.

Personally I think a girl who laughs at everything I said would come off as insipid. I'd might enjoy her "company" for a hour or two but that's about it.
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Old 2011-05-18, 00:56   Link #8803
solidguy
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Originally Posted by Hooves View Post
Wouldnt that lead to a bad direction if the guy finds out what you were doing this whole time solidguy?
No, its kinda like when you find yourself with a transvestite at 3 am in the morning after a long night of drinking. You may know the truth, but you just don't give a f***
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Old 2011-05-18, 02:43   Link #8804
Tsuyoshi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Haladflire65 View Post
Hmmm... I am sort of barging into the conversation here but I really wanted to ask a not-so-quick question...

So, I'm in an all-girls' school and boarding on top of that. I'm also pretty passive and reserved. It ends up that this isn't really a great combination... Because I never attend events or dances or anything like that, I have absolutely no guy friends at all. This is pretty bad, since I haven't really interacted with guys my age for a really long time now. I didn't really care about it before, but now that I've seen the grads going to prom with their dates this year and knowing I'll be in that position next year, I guess I got more self-conscious... So my question is this. Honestly, will my current state affect me socializing after I graduate, do you think? Is it really bad that I've had no experience in dating and relationships at all at this age?
Ok well, consider that there are those of us who haven't had a single bf/gf in our entire lives, some of which are already much older than you *coughMecough* so you really shouldn't let it bring you down. I haven't gone out with anyone in prom, and it was mostly out of lack of trying. Do I regret it? Not one bit. The girls who were single were horrible, and the girls worth going out with, already taken, but not exactly worth long term relationships for me because in less than a few months, I'd have been in London and never to see her again, probably. What you should do is just be yourself, let your life take you were it will and I'm quite sure a man worthy of you will come. When you start comparing yourself to others, that's when you forget yourself and what is truly good for you.

P.S. If it's any consolation, I'd totally go to prom night with you (assuming I was.......6 to 8 years younger)
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Old 2011-05-18, 05:03   Link #8805
Sumeragi
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Originally Posted by Haladflire65 View Post
Hmmm... I am sort of barging into the conversation here but I really wanted to ask a not-so-quick question...

So, I'm in an all-girls' school and boarding on top of that. I'm also pretty passive and reserved. It ends up that this isn't really a great combination... Because I never attend events or dances or anything like that, I have absolutely no guy friends at all. This is pretty bad, since I haven't really interacted with guys my age for a really long time now. I didn't really care about it before, but now that I've seen the grads going to prom with their dates this year and knowing I'll be in that position next year, I guess I got more self-conscious... So my question is this. Honestly, will my current state affect me socializing after I graduate, do you think? Is it really bad that I've had no experience in dating and relationships at all at this age?
Hey, this is a general thread, so please feel free to barge in as long as it's relevant to the main topic: LOVE!

I don't see your "lack of" experience as a bad thing. As long as you aren't too naive (living in a romantic fantasy and such, like so many "innocent" girls in their teens) or have arrhenphobia (fear of men), you'll probably be able to just be yourself and at least start friendships.


BTW, I have misandry, at least if the opposite side is trying to make a move on me.



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Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
If you're as confident and well-spoken in reality as you are online, then you may have no problems, but it's important to remember that hormones can melt your brain. Even the strongest minds have been felled when their lady-bits are set a-tingling...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Haladflire65 View Post
Mmm, that's the thing. I'm really quite passive in real life and can be such a chicken... (so much that the fact that I'm considered well-spoken here surprised me O.o) not having talked to guys for so long, I'll probably have trouble dealing with them, I feel >.<

And gulp. Hormones I'm really afraid what sort of stupid judgements I might make when they kick in...
Hmmm... now that we're on the question of hormones..... It really depends on what values you have concerning sexual relations. We can take this to PM if you wish, or I'll continue on in a separate post.



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Originally Posted by King Lycan View Post
Well don't worry we aren't so scary. You'll be ok just find someone you have something in common with and you guys can relate to each other you'll be good. My cousin went to an all guy high school and he's had more one night stands then I have and I went to regular high school
Just have sex with us and were awesome

Anyway question for the females. How do you guys feel when one of your guy friends tell you how he felt about you but he was drunk do you guys take it seriously ?
With my misandry being activiated any time a guy makes a move on me, I would say.... *Gets out her katana*

Besides, I'm already engaged, so that's really an irrelavent issue for me.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Haladflire65 View Post
lol thanks for the advice, it's what I want to believe but am kind of afraid to, you know? Sometimes it seems really intimidating, seeing kids I'm friends with grinding on the dance floor making out with a guy (this is on our mandatory dance >.<). Where do people learn these things? Does it come naturally when you start going out with someone? I feel like I'm kind of... 'behind'.
You actually have to practice dancing >_> One reason why night clubs are full all the time. I'm a horrible dance partner, but then, Oppa was never one to like dancing in the first place.



Quote:
Originally Posted by solidguy View Post
@ halad here is one piece of advice that always seems to work when girls talk to guys.

Laugh at everything they say
Its abit cheesy but honestly guys go apeshit over girls that think they're funny, unless they're a douche but then no amount of advice will change that.
Not a good idea unless you do actually find that guy funny. Acting can actually make things worse in the long wrong. This reminds me of a problem that many couples have with their sex lives: One acts as if they're satisfied, eventually leading to relation problems when the truth comes out. Never take this approach unless you see the potential for improvement.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Slick_rick View Post
Don't try to "catch up" too much as that always leads to problems in my experience. My friend once advised me when I was first starting going out with girls to "not put the pussy on a pedestal" I'd advice the same. Don't put the penis on a pedestal. Just go out there and have fun but don't try to put too much importance on it. Guys will come whether you want them to our not. Might sound cliche but being yourself is the most important thing. Personally I just try to project confidence even if I not, like I was on stage doing a performance, while talking to a girl that I like.

Once you start going out with friends dancing comes pretty easy by watching or you can practice with friends. Its not that important either. Its not that important I utterly fail at dancing but I excel at a lot of other things.

Personally I think a girl who laughs at everything I said would come off as insipid. I'd might enjoy her "company" for a hour or two but that's about it.
I have to agree with the general idea of this post.






Haladflire65, if there's anything you want to talk in private, shoot me a PM, imouto
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Old 2011-05-18, 05:32   Link #8806
DonQuigleone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Haladflire65 View Post
Hmmm... I am sort of barging into the conversation here but I really wanted to ask a not-so-quick question...

So, I'm in an all-girls' school and boarding on top of that. I'm also pretty passive and reserved. It ends up that this isn't really a great combination... Because I never attend events or dances or anything like that, I have absolutely no guy friends at all. This is pretty bad, since I haven't really interacted with guys my age for a really long time now. I didn't really care about it before, but now that I've seen the grads going to prom with their dates this year and knowing I'll be in that position next year, I guess I got more self-conscious... So my question is this. Honestly, will my current state affect me socializing after I graduate, do you think? Is it really bad that I've had no experience in dating and relationships at all at this age?
I wouldn't worry too much, for one thing, prom is overblown, I didn't attend mine and none of me or my friends ever talk about it. A month or two later everyone will have forgotten about it. So I wouldn't worry.

As for guys generally, I wouldn't worry too hard about it. As a girl, so long as you look even mildly attractive (and you very likely look more attractive then you think), you'll get guys somewhere hitting on you. As a guy it's a lot more difficult to get into the dating scene generally.

However since you don't have much experience with guys, you probably should be a bit careful when they first start chatting you up, don't be too quick to leap into the arms of the first guy you meet. I hear too many stories with bad endings about girls (and guys) who go out with the wrong people starting out. Most of the guys who try and engage you in conversation will be nice guys, but some of them will be jerks. Just be reasonably cautious and you'll have no problems. It really goes with talking to anyone really, but with "romantic relations" it's easier for your judgement to be clouded by hormones.

On the other hand, you should probably try and start making some male friends in a casual context, IE no sexuality expected. So long as you make yourself available guys will make the effort to talk to you.

I also wouldn't worry too much about a lack of dancing skill, there a lot of guys who don't dance at all. And if they do, and you don't, and you want to learn, they'd probably be queuing up to teach you...

Just don't get cocky
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Old 2011-05-18, 09:15   Link #8807
Kafriel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Haladflire65 View Post
Hmmm... I am sort of barging into the conversation here but I really wanted to ask a not-so-quick question...

So, I'm in an all-girls' school and boarding on top of that. I'm also pretty passive and reserved. It ends up that this isn't really a great combination... Because I never attend events or dances or anything like that, I have absolutely no guy friends at all. This is pretty bad, since I haven't really interacted with guys my age for a really long time now. I didn't really care about it before, but now that I've seen the grads going to prom with their dates this year and knowing I'll be in that position next year, I guess I got more self-conscious... So my question is this. Honestly, will my current state affect me socializing after I graduate, do you think? Is it really bad that I've had no experience in dating and relationships at all at this age?
You got a whole year ahead of you, and in my school all the pairs except one were made in 3rd year, so pick a guy, any guy, and try talking to them. Just make sure they're not shy too Although it's more usual for guys to come up to cute little girls trying to start a conversation...remember though, that making friends and getting into relationships are two different things. I suggest the former, it's a lot more fun and saves you the angst.
Quote:
You actually have to practice dancing >_>
Having some experience in dancing, the only ones who need to practice are guys, since they are the ones leading. Dammes just follow his dance, and if he's good enough, you don't even need to walk in order to dance well, he magically makes you his puppet and you fly around the place. If you're looking to practice dancing, you'll only learn show-off moves and high-class technique...rhythm and basic steps are all you require for now, and I don't see why anyone would practice the basic steps :P
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Old 2011-05-18, 10:09   Link #8808
Endless Soul
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Lots of great advice in the previous posts.

Don't worry too much about "being behind", you may find yourself rushing into something you'll deeply regret later. Like the Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) lyrics say, "sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself." So true.

"Be yourself" is such an old cliche, but the thing about cliches is that they generally tend to be a condensed truth. By being yourself, you will eventually atttract someone, it really doesn't matter how shy or outgoing you are. It will happen. Sometimes that attraction will take longer to happen to you than it does others (see the lyric quote above), you just need to be patient.

Above all, and I know it will be hard, but try not to let your worry and doubt affect your studies.
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Old 2011-05-18, 10:12   Link #8809
hoshikuzu
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Man, I have no experience with dating - cries -

All my friends already have boyfriends, and even grade 5s have boyfriends too!
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Old 2011-05-18, 10:20   Link #8810
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Originally Posted by hoshikuzu View Post
Man, I have no experience with dating - cries -

All my friends already have boyfriends, and even grade 5s have boyfriends too!
A question: How old are you?
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Old 2011-05-18, 10:26   Link #8811
Masuzu
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A question: How old are you?
let's not go there, besides it doesn't matter as much as most would like to think
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Old 2011-05-18, 10:33   Link #8812
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Maybe not, the only reason I asked was because I don't really find it worthwhile to compare with people young enough to still be in the 5th grade. Relationships among people that age douctfully last very long. As was said to Halad by a number of people, it's best to focus on just being who you are rather than worrying about how others are doing in that area. Worry too much and you might end up with the wrong guy because you've been in a bit of a hurry, if you know what I mean.
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Old 2011-05-18, 10:52   Link #8813
Masuzu
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Maybe not, the only reason I asked was because I don't really find it worthwhile to compare with people young enough to still be in the 5th grade. Relationships among people that age douctfully last very long. As was said to Halad by a number of people, it's best to focus on just being who you are rather than worrying about how others are doing in that area. Worry too much and you might end up with the wrong guy because you've been in a bit of a hurry, if you know what I mean.
i didn't think she was in fifth grade, but yeah, you're right about not worrying about how everybody else is doing
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Old 2011-05-18, 11:51   Link #8814
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Originally Posted by King Lycan View Post

Anyway question for the females. How do you guys feel when one of your guy friends tell you how he felt about you but he was drunk do you guys take it seriously ?
That depends how drunk he is. If he is really drunk, like to the point where he can't really muster the brain power to lie - yes, I would believe it. If he is still quite sober - no, or maybe at most.
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Old 2011-05-18, 19:05   Link #8815
solidguy
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Originally Posted by Sumeragi View Post


Not a good idea unless you do actually find that guy funny. Acting can actually make things worse in the long wrong. This reminds me of a problem that many couples have with their sex lives: One acts as if they're satisfied, eventually leading to relation problems when the truth comes out. Never take this approach unless you see the potential for improvement.
well she isnt gonna marry the dude, its just an easy, fun way to make a connection with someone. Like she said, practice will suffice.
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Old 2011-05-18, 19:35   Link #8816
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Originally Posted by hoshikuzu View Post
Man, I have no experience with dating - cries -

All my friends already have boyfriends, and even grade 5s have boyfriends too!
Don't rush it. Sooner or later it will happen. Trying to rush it often enough leads to very bad things.
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Old 2011-05-18, 21:54   Link #8817
Haladflire65
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Thanks for the great advice everyone! You actually did get me feeling a little better about myself in general I sometimes do wonder if I'd be attractive to guys, as all I see in my school here are a lot of really thin and pretty girls that I feel like I'd totally be shadowed by... I also have issues with wearing dresses, or dressing up in general which doesn't help my confidence at all either >.< and sheesh, maybe I'm too naive... It's pretty weird that a kid my age still hasn't drunk alcohol or done drugs or made out with anyone yet, even if I'm in a pretty enclosed environment...
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Old 2011-05-18, 22:03   Link #8818
Sumeragi
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well she isnt gonna marry the dude, its just an easy, fun way to make a connection with someone. Like she said, practice will suffice.
I was using a very extreme example to make a point: Laughing at "jokes" that are not funny can lead to problems later down the road when one tells the truth at the end.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Haladflire65 View Post
Thanks for the great advice everyone! You actually did get me feeling a little better about myself in general I sometimes do wonder if I'd be attractive to guys, as all I see in my school here are a lot of really thin and pretty girls that I feel like I'd totally be shadowed by... I also have issues with wearing dresses, or dressing up in general which doesn't help my confidence at all either >.< and sheesh, maybe I'm too naive... It's pretty weird that a kid my age still hasn't drunk alcohol or done drugs or made out with anyone yet, even if I'm in a pretty enclosed environment...
You're actually one of the cutest girls I've seen. Also, I've also never done drugs at your age. (I hope you don't mean going all the way when you talk about making out. If you are, though, don't worry, it's not like losing one's virginity early is a good thing)
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Old 2011-05-18, 22:13   Link #8819
Haladflire65
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Originally Posted by Sumeragi View Post
You're actually one of the cutest girls I've seen
Wow, really? You think so? Aw, thanks... *hides for a moment*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sumeragi View Post
I've also never done drugs at your age. (I hope you don't mean going all the way when you talk about making out. If you are, though, don't worry, it's not like losing one's virginity early is a good thing)
Yeah, I know they're not good things... but most of the people in my school seem to be doing all sorts of... strange stuff already. I guess I'm just growing up very clean, I know that pretty much everyone drinks and smells like weed all the time and stuff I'm just a bit nervous about what things would be like when I'm suddenly thrust into uni, I suppose...
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Old 2011-05-18, 22:40   Link #8820
solidguy
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Originally Posted by Sumeragi View Post
I was using a very extreme example to make a point: Laughing at "jokes" that are not funny can lead to problems later down the road when one tells the truth at the end.
huh? please explain how faking orgasims *ahem* a laugh leads to marital problems? Thats an awfully big assumption

Quote:
Originally Posted by Haladflire65 View Post
Yeah, I know they're not good things... but most of the people in my school seem to be doing all sorts of... strange stuff already. I guess I'm just growing up very clean, I know that pretty much everyone drinks and smells like weed all the time and stuff I'm just a bit nervous about what things would be like when I'm suddenly thrust into uni, I suppose...
University is a BIG place ya know. Im not sure how it is down your end of the world but here in NZ, in particular Auckland, its all pretty mellow. If you don't want to be promiscuous or a stoner then you wont be no peer pressure and shtick like that from high school. From my experiences that is.
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