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Old 2011-12-16, 14:10   Link #9881
Jinto
Asuki-tan Kairin ↓
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Fürth (GER)
Age: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Endless Soul View Post
You can't say Stalking without talking.
You refer to the kind of stalking, where the stalking person tries to remain in contact with you... sending you unwanted SMS (text messages), calling your number...??? Its annoying like hell, I tell you.
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Old 2011-12-16, 16:26   Link #9882
Who
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Age: 24
It's like not I haven't talked to her randomly. Just this one instance and I walked away with her looking disappointed. Overexaggeration on the above post on my part.
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Old 2011-12-16, 16:43   Link #9883
Endless Soul
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Age: 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jinto View Post
You refer to the kind of stalking, where the stalking person tries to remain in contact with you... sending you unwanted SMS (text messages), calling your number...??? Its annoying like hell, I tell you.
No sir. I was pointing out that the word talking is inside the word stalking. That's all there is to it.

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Old 2011-12-16, 18:02   Link #9884
Jinto
Asuki-tan Kairin ↓
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Fürth (GER)
Age: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Endless Soul View Post
No sir. I was pointing out that the word talking is inside the word stalking. That's all there is to it.

Endless "Bad Joke" Soul
Indeed a bad joke, if that was all there is to it. I thought about a second meaning of this (of something that actually makes sense)
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Old 2011-12-16, 20:15   Link #9885
DonQuigleone
Knight Errant
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 26
With all this talk going around, it makes me realise that I have to get back in the game.

It's been at least a year since I properly stalked a girl! Got to figure out a good one first though, then I got to get back into the whole "gathering info" cycle! So much fun!
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Old 2011-12-16, 23:59   Link #9886
HasuMasu
サイアク、トキメキ、ヘンシン、コクハク
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: プールなんですよ
"And thus, my secret life as a stalker was discovered..."
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Old 2011-12-19, 05:39   Link #9887
Shinji01
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Half Australia, Half Tokyo, Bits and pieces in US
I gotta say, getting a "yes" from someone out of you league is cool, but also finding someone who understands your love for anime is also important too.

Many couples in Japan nearly divorce because the wife does not understand why the husband collects figurines, and throws them away, or forbids them from investing in more DVDs etc (you get the picture)

I have a dilemma right now that i am in the best realationship ever, but i have no one to go watch the next Evangelion movie with me. I probably will go by myself.
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Old 2011-12-19, 06:22   Link #9888
DonQuigleone
Knight Errant
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 26
Hobbies ... aren't everything.

I'm probably leaning in the direction of not wanting to go out with an anime fan. Though a tolerance to it would probably be a reasonable thing to expect.
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Old 2011-12-19, 07:03   Link #9889
solomon
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Suburban DC
While those sterotypical Japanese reactions are knee jerk and unnecessary, the Don is right.

People make connections for things more deep than just similar hobbies you know. You have to discover that, and you'd be surprised where you can find it. Otherwise, you may have to go with the ol' "live and let live" approach as far as certain hobbies and pastimes are concerned.

As Homer said "Our differences are only skin deep, but we share a deep mystical connection! WOOHOO WE'RE NUMBER 1! IN YOUR FACE SPACE COYOTE!!!"

Marge: "Space Coyote?"
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Old 2011-12-19, 07:28   Link #9890
Paranoid Android
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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That's not a simple hobby, that's more of an obsession. If my girlfriend likes firearms, that's one thing. Having a depository of 50 assault rifles and going to the shooting range twice a week is another story, and I'd be a creeped out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by solomon
People make connections for things more deep than just similar hobbies you know. You have to discover that, and you'd be surprised where you can find it.
You mean they have to discover that. The one jumping to conclusions and doing the rejecting would be the other person who doesn't appreciate your anime/manga 'hobby'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinji01 View Post
I gotta say, getting a "yes" from someone out of you league is cool
Make sure when you view people of other 'leagues', that you don't assume their position is in anyway superior. They're simply different and riskier (exciting) than someone who is very similar to you.

As an asian person who lives in an area that's 99% caucasian. I'm in my own league =( And I understand how awesome it is to get a 'yes' from someone who is so different.
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Old 2011-12-19, 11:12   Link #9891
Gamer_2k4
Anime Cynic
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: USA
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinji01 View Post
I have a dilemma right now that i am in the best realationship ever, but i have no one to go watch the next Evangelion movie with me. I probably will go by myself.
Really? THAT'S a dilemma?

Relationships should be built on a deeper connection with shared interests. If you want someone to like based on their interest in your hobbies, look to your friends. That's why they're your friends - they like the same things you do. If you're satisfied with your romantic relationship, on the other hand, it's matters little that your partner isn't into anime. You like the person, right? You're attracted to them? They feel the same about you?

That's enough.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paranoid Android View Post
You mean they have to discover that. The one jumping to conclusions and doing the rejecting would be the other person who doesn't appreciate your anime/manga 'hobby'.
Not in this case. If I understand Shinji01 correctly, the rejection is in his mind, not in his girlfriend's. The mindset I interpreted from his post was, "I think this may not work out because we have different hobbies," not, "She thinks this may not work out because we have different hobbies."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paranoid Android View Post
Make sure when you view people of other 'leagues', that you don't assume their position is in anyway superior. They're simply different and riskier (exciting) than someone who is very similar to you.
Another concern is from the other person's perspective. If they also think they're out of your league, it's very possible that they'll put less effort into the relationship because they don't believe they have to. Sadly, I know this from personal experience.
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Old 2011-12-19, 11:40   Link #9892
Paranoid Android
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Age: 23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamer_2k4 View Post
Another concern is from the other person's perspective. If they also think they're out of your league, it's very possible that they'll put less effort into the relationship because they don't believe they have to. Sadly, I know this from personal experience.
Of course, but how the other person would view me is beyond what I can control. That can change, but definitely not before the 'pre-first-date' stages of a relationship. There's too much biased and superficial judgement.

For me personally, that kind of superiority attitude is a major turn off lol. Don't think I'd want to engage in a relationship where the other person thinks I'm the one that should try and not her.
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Old 2011-12-19, 11:40   Link #9893
greedyisgood
easy mode
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
So I was asked again by my co-workers..."when will you get a girlfriend?".

It really annoys me asked by this question day by day. Just because I am at my early 20's and have a decent job.
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Old 2011-12-19, 12:59   Link #9894
Hippo
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinji01 View Post
Many couples in Japan nearly divorce because the wife does not understand why the husband collects figurines, and throws them away, or forbids them from investing in more DVDs etc (you get the picture)
With the cost of DVDs in Japan I can't say I blame them!

I think it is good to have some crossover with hobbies and interests with your partner. My boyfriend and I do have similarities but they aren't identical, eg we both love comics but he mostly buys American ones while I buy manga, but we will sometimes read each other's. He'll watch some anime- the usual suspects like Ghibli films, Satoshi Kon films, GitS, Eden of the East, Cowboy Bebop etc but will turn his nose up at all the high school comedy/ romances that I have He hadn't watched any anime apart from Akira when I met him, but I usually have a good idea of what film or series he would enjoy. It doesn't matter if someone doesn't have the same interests as you right away, you can introduce each other to new things bit by bit and will probably find more things you both like.
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Old 2011-12-19, 13:02   Link #9895
Kafriel
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Athens (GMT+2)
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by greedyisgood View Post
So I was asked again by my co-workers..."when will you get a girlfriend?".

It really annoys me asked by this question day by day. Just because I am at my early 20's and have a decent job.
And the comeback to that is, "I'll find one...at your wedding!". If already married, then at their child's baptism :P
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Old 2011-12-19, 14:01   Link #9896
solomon
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Suburban DC
Quote:
Originally Posted by greedyisgood View Post
So I was asked again by my co-workers..."when will you get a girlfriend?".

It really annoys me asked by this question day by day. Just because I am at my early 20's and have a decent job.
If I may ask, are you Asian or come from an Asian background? I understand there is some societal pressure there.

If not and you were just American/Western I'd just say tell em to Piss off/Sod Off/Va ta faire Voir or whatever linguistic stand in you have.

It's your life, do it when you're ready and tell them to mind their own buisness less they THEMSELVES have trouble in paradise but don't know it.

On the hobbies thing, it is true there should be SOME overlap. Otherwise, you really have to be intune with that "deep spiritual connection" jargon I talked about and it's often hard to pick up since we humans place so much emphasis on superficality in society.

And same thing on the "Leagues". Remember, people are people are people. Now, the income gap thing may be a bit harder to deal with (especially for a dude) but it's been dealt with before. Otherwise, the people who normally have this "league" problem are nerds. It's time to get some friggin nerd pride and while embracing your uniqueness acting like a MAN about it. League talk is overrated. You don't put the pussy on a pedestal.
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Old 2011-12-19, 14:30   Link #9897
Gamer_2k4
Anime Cynic
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: USA
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by solomon View Post
And same thing on the "Leagues". Remember, people are people are people. Now, the income gap thing may be a bit harder to deal with (especially for a dude) but it's been dealt with before. Otherwise, the people who normally have this "league" problem are nerds. It's time to get some friggin nerd pride and while embracing your uniqueness acting like a MAN about it. League talk is overrated. You don't put the pussy on a pedestal.
I was under the impression that "out of my league" tended to mean "is so attractive compared to me that it feels like a privilege to be going out with them." Or "is way smarter than me" or "more talented" or anything of that nature. It would never have occurred to me that "I'm a nerd and she's not" would be the most common example of this.
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Old 2011-12-19, 14:36   Link #9898
Paranoid Android
Underweight Food Hoarder
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Kitch-Water and T.O., Canada
Age: 23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamer_2k4 View Post
I was under the impression that "out of my league" tended to mean "is so attractive compared to me that it feels like a privilege to be going out with them." Or "is way smarter than me" or "more talented" or anything of that nature. It would never have occurred to me that "I'm a nerd and she's not" would be the most common example of this.
Neither did it occur to me it was about that.

I've tried to ask out girls that seem to be better than me in both appearance and intelligence. But what can I do? I just ask them out anyways. I got turned down every time because they probably see the same, but that assumption isn't enough to stop me from trying at least.

---
Off topic on a tangent

Does anyone see calmness as a positive trait anymore? Theoretically, that seems like a positive trait but my experience with women seems to be the opposite. Everyone seems to like the spontaneous emotional craze more than stability. =/

If only relationships didn't begin with a load of superficial judgement... xP
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Old 2011-12-19, 15:01   Link #9899
Kafriel
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Athens (GMT+2)
Age: 26
Quote:
Does anyone see calmness as a positive trait anymore? Theoretically, that seems like a positive trait but my experience with women seems to be the opposite. Everyone seems to like the spontaneous emotional craze more than stability. =/
I'm in favour of calm people, but others might call you boring or insensitive for not acting as extreme as they do...
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Old 2011-12-19, 15:13   Link #9900
Gamer_2k4
Anime Cynic
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: USA
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paranoid Android View Post
Does anyone see calmness as a positive trait anymore? Theoretically, that seems like a positive trait but my experience with women seems to be the opposite. Everyone seems to like the spontaneous emotional craze more than stability.
It depends on how you define "calmness." If you mean "level-headed and slow to anger," of course it's a positive trait. If you mean "never enthusiastic about anything," that's less desirable. Apathy is never attractive, but being overly emotional isn't either.
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