Dating

[Hooves]

Originally Posted by Detective-san

Almost all the people I know are calling February 14 'Forever-alone Day'.

February 14 is nicknamed "Forever-alone Day"
While December is nicknamed "Forever-alone Month"

Or so I hear.

[warita]

Personally I dont like it, when people go so self pity on themselves and whenever Valentines come up and they start whining about being lonely. There is something really lame about that.

I am in a relationship right now, but that wasnt always so. Last year valentines was the first one I actually celebrated properly, because before that I was either single (most of the time) or in an abusive relationship where the guy couldnt care less about Valentines or me for that matter. And I never whined about not being able to celebrate Valentines with anybody or about not having a relationship.

Trust me, it is actually a lot bitterer, when your partner ignores you and your emotional needs, then to be single!!! I speak out of experience.

Besides, whats the big deal anyways? If you are single, then you can always continue your daily routine as normal. There is no obligation for you to organize a date for this day, unless of course thats what you want and you make a good use of the opportunity to ask a girl out.

There is no reaso to be upset about Valentines and call it the day of the lonely.

[Who]

I, for one, plan on whoring myself out on Valentine's Day and attending every dance/speed dating event going on in campus. Haven't tried it before and sounds like fun. Best that can happen? I find a girl I connect with. Worst that can happen? I have a lot of fun.

In other stories, I hate when guys are way too overprotective of their girlfriends. I tease my roommate's girlfriend about her hiccups and he starts bitching and moaning at me about being an insensitive jerk.

[Stiletto]

Nothing bad about being over-protective. In fact, if you show a kind of jealousy the more liable a relationship will work out. Don't beleive me? Look at it this way: It tells her you sicnerely care and want to be with her. Being too intense about it though, will of course make her seem like an object to you. All in moderation.

Though hey, maybe we should move this over to the Valentine's thread? I'm just saying it probably needs the attention. No need to derail the dating thread too much. Not like those times in the "post pictures of yourself" thread. Ah, good times... good times. God I'm so sentimental, just shoot me.

[Who]

Originally Posted by Stiletto

Nothing bad about being over-protective. In fact, if you show a kind of jealousy the more liable a relationship will work out. Don't beleive me? Look at it this way: It tells her you sicnerely care and want to be with her. Being too intense about it though, will of course make her seem like an object to you. All in moderation.

He's very good boyfriend material from the way I've seen him treat his girlfriend. However, it wasn't jealousy. I wasn't flirting with her in any way; he just got insanely mad and started to rip into me verbally. It's one thing to get mad at someone who insults your significant other, but when it's playful teasing and the girl herself laughed at it, then it's baffling, especially since he's been my roommate for 2 years now.

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by warita

I am in a relationship right now, but that wasnt always so. Last year valentines was the first one I actually celebrated properly, because before that I was either single (most of the time) or in an abusive relationship where the guy couldnt care less about Valentines or me for that matter. And I never whined about not being able to celebrate Valentines with anybody or about not having a relationship.

Trust me, it is actually a lot bitterer, when your partner ignores you and your emotional needs, then to be single!!! I speak out of experience.

That sounds terrible, but your own suffering doesn't invalidate the suffering of others. If people feel sad or depressed about being single on Valentine's Day, it's better to be supportive of them, right? There's always someone who has it worse, but suffering is suffering, no matter how relative it may be.

Originally Posted by warita

Besides, whats the big deal anyways? If you are single, then you can always continue your daily routine as normal. There is no obligation for you to organize a date for this day, unless of course thats what you want and you make a good use of the opportunity to ask a girl out.

It's about being left out. There's a holiday specifically for people in a relationship to celebrate, and if you're single, you are left out of the celebration. On top of that, many people wish that they were in a relationship, but haven't been able to find or enter into one. Valentine's Day then becomes a day where singles are constantly reminded of that fact.

Originally Posted by Who

In other stories, I hate when guys are way too overprotective of their girlfriends. I tease my roommate's girlfriend about her hiccups and he starts bitching and moaning at me about being an insensitive jerk.

You never know what's going on behind the scenes. I know that there have been times when people said various things to my wife and she seemed fine with them, but then she broke down crying over them to me in private. Similarly, maybe the girl is really sensitive about her hiccups (or other bodily actions), or just really sensitive in general, and her boyfriend was protecting her.

On the other hand, it's also possible that the girl would really be fine with it, but the guy is the one who is sensitive and feels that his girlfriend would be sensitive over it, as well.

[warita]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

If people feel sad or depressed about being single on Valentine's Day, it's better to be supportive of them, right?

First of all, I am being supportive, because if they take what I said to heart, then they will stop suffering (not that I really expect that to happen).
Drowning in selfpity has never helped anybody as far as I know. If you are unhappy with a certain situation, then take steps to rectify it = find yourself a gf. And if that is not possible.... and believe me, I have spent long time in the single land to know how difficult it is to find the right person, then find other sense in life. Life doesnt revolve around a relationship. One can lead a fruitful and happy life without one.

Originally Posted by Ledgem

There's a holiday specifically for people in a relationship to celebrate, and if you're single, you are left out of the celebration.

You said it yourself, it is for people IN a relationship. If you are NOT in a relationship, then it doesnt concern you. Basically, what you are saying is, that people cant stand the idea that some others have what they dont. Not a nice character trait, if you ask me.

I have been single long enough and felt lonely as well. Yet the world has never heard me whine about the valentines day.
It is something for people who have a partner and instead of wasting energy on whining, I rather invest it into something more beneficial.

[Kafriel]

I only ever feel lonely twice a year, and Valentine's is not one of those times. Never heard of any nicknames for it though...not much goes on either, just a few extra decorations at the mall and stuff. Everything else is pretty much the same, there's no reason to be more emotional than any other day of the year~

[DonQuigleone]

Originally Posted by Who

In other stories, I hate when guys are way too overprotective of their girlfriends. I tease my roommate's girlfriend about her hiccups and he starts bitching and moaning at me about being an insensitive jerk.

I had this problem with my older sister's boyfriend a few times. Put it this way, like all siblings we argue sometimes, but otherwise we're pretty close. I don't really think the boyfriend has any kind of right to tell the younger brother what he can or cannot do,and it's not like I've ever upset my sister either. He just thinks my sister isn't capable of looking after herself... He's not as bad about this as he used to be though, he seems to have mellowed a bit, maybe my sister gave him a good talking to .

When a boyfriend or girlfriend acts protectively it implies that their partner isn't capable of looking after themselves, and implies an inequality in the relationship. That's not right. If I had a partner, I'd only aggresively intercede on her behalf if she wanted me to, and certainly not in a familial situation that she has handled herself for her whole life.


@Valentines day: Once I've got a GF, I'm going to make a point of having a romantic dinner on February the 10th or something, and do nothing in particular on the 14th.

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by warita

First of all, I am being supportive, because if they take what I said to heart, then they will stop suffering (not that I really expect that to happen).
Drowning in selfpity has never helped anybody as far as I know. If you are unhappy with a certain situation, then take steps to rectify it = find yourself a gf. And if that is not possible.... and believe me, I have spent long time in the single land to know how difficult it is to find the right person, then find other sense in life. Life doesnt revolve around a relationship. One can lead a fruitful and happy life without one.

I don't disagree with what you're saying, but telling people 'it's lame to feel bad about yourself and your current situation, and I've experienced much worse (so you have nothing to feel bad about)' is... well, I disagree with the method of delivery

Originally Posted by warita

You said it yourself, it is for people IN a relationship. If you are NOT in a relationship, then it doesnt concern you. Basically, what you are saying is, that people cant stand the idea that some others have what they dont. Not a nice character trait, if you ask me.

Nope, that's not what I'm saying. Maybe it's a bit more of a low-key event where you're from, but here in America they've turned it into a big deal. Never mind what other people are doing, there's Valentine's Day stuff all over the place. It is a constant reminder of the fact that while much of society is engaging in it, none of it applies to you, because there is something missing from your life (assuming that's what you want).

Of course singles can be happy in spite of Valentine's Day, and of course you can be happy even if you're not in a relationship. I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling a bit down on Valentine's Day if you're single and are interested in dating, though.

[DonQuigleone]

Eh, where I am, other then a few card shops, there isn't usually much hubbub over Valentines day. Hallmark Holiday and all that.


Also, telling someone "you shouldn't feel bad about what you feel bad about because it's nothing compared to what others go through" doesn't really help much, if anything, it only makes them feel worse.

Now, not only can they hate themselves for the original thing, but they on top of that they can hate themselves for being an undeserving depressed drama queen. Not pretty.

[warita]

Originally Posted by DonQuigleone

Eh, where I am, other then a few card shops, there isn't usually much hubbub over Valentines day. Hallmark Holiday and all that.


Also, telling someone "you shouldn't feel bad about what you feel bad about because it's nothing compared to what others go through" doesn't really help much, if anything, it only makes them feel worse.

Now, not only can they hate themselves for the original thing, but they on top of that they can hate themselves for being an undeserving depressed drama queen. Not pretty.

Actually, when I said that I have gone through worse, I didnt mean to say that this isnt the reason why other shouldnt feel bad. What I meant to express is, that I understand what it is like.

And my point was, that even though I have gone through worse, I still didnt complain and others shouldnt either. It is perfectly normal to desire to be in fullfilling relationship and to have somebody to love to.... sure. But it is not normal to whine and drown in self pity. If you are distasisfied, go and do something about it, but for god sake dont make other people enjoying valentines feel like its their fault that you are single and unhappy.

[DonQuigleone]

Originally Posted by warita

And my point was, that even though I have gone through worse, I still didnt complain and others shouldnt either. It is perfectly normal to desire to be in fullfilling relationship and to have somebody to love to.... sure. But it is not normal to whine and drown in self pity. If you are distasisfied, go and do something about it, but for god sake dont make other people enjoying valentines feel like its their fault that you are single and unhappy.

True, though it's occasionally nice to give yourself a chance to whine, threads like this provide a decent opportunity.

[warita]

Originally Posted by DonQuigleone

True, though it's occasionally nice to give yourself a chance to whine, threads like this provide a decent opportunity.

Yeah, I suppose you are right... for therapeutical reasons :P

[solomon]

No those are good points. And I am sure a lot of people are taking a light hearted approach to their "ronery" sthtick. It's for people who go above that who DONT have some deablilitating disease to help them find someone that I have a problem with....

I dunno maybe it's cause I am friends with one who is going through some stuff right now...

[warita]

This is what I made for valentines day for my boyfriend.



I think looking at the summer night sky is so romantic.... and I am happy I made the card in unusual colors for the valentines day. It is original

[solomon]

Congratulations, you made all the ronery males on here cry in despair....hehhahahaaa.

Nice work on the subtle coloring there.

[Stiletto]

I'm not ronery, I'm ornery. Difference.

That is adorable, Warita. Cats are my favorite pets and seeing something like this is great. Hey, hope you enjoyed Valentines with him.

[Endless Soul]

Very nice, warita.

Endless "Appreciator of art" Soul

[Kafriel]

Originally Posted by solomon

Congratulations, you made all the ronery males on here cry in despair....hehhahahaaa.

Nice work on the subtle coloring there.

Hey no worries, I'll get your mood right up, my best friend found out that his gf had been cheating on him for four months yesterday, you don't even want to imagine how he spent his valentine's day...