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Old 2012-02-21, 19:12   Link #10141
NoemiChan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by warita View Post
How do you feel about the saying "the way to a mens heart is through his stomache"?

Is it a big plus for you, if a girl can cook well? (I love to cook btw).
Well, in Philippine culture especially in the rural areas... such a skill is a must, if a girl wants to get married easily. There are instances that cooking skills out much the looks. That's also why girls working in "carenderia"( a small restaurant) has many suitors.

It's a dream of those men that after a day's work, they know their wives well serve them a delicious meal.... Imagine a beautiful girl serves you nothing but fried and boiled egg.
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Old 2012-02-21, 19:47   Link #10142
Tenken's Smile
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How about romantic daily meals at local restaurants? :P

One of my aunts-in-law doesn't know how to cook at all. Her family eats out everyday.
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Old 2012-02-21, 19:51   Link #10143
NeoChan
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....I don't want to comment about that... but it's not healthy....
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Old 2012-02-21, 20:07   Link #10144
GDB
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Unless it's an actual "restaurant" instead of fast food. In which case it's just bad for the wallet, so she better be rather loaded if that's the only option, because that would get far too expensive far too fast otherwise.
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Old 2012-02-21, 20:09   Link #10145
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Not only is it not healthy, it's not cost-effective. I spend anywhere from $20-30 on groceries per week, for me and my wife. Most restaurants in my area will charge you $10 for a full meal. So basically, I consumed a half a week's worth of groceries for two people on a single meal... and at most restaurants I've been to, I wind up feeling like I would have enjoyed my own food more.

I don't mind eating out here and there - maybe once a month, if that - but I really never understood people who eat out regularly. It's so expensive!
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Old 2012-02-21, 20:21   Link #10146
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenken's Smile View Post
One of my aunts-in-law doesn't know how to cook at all. Her family eats out everyday.
I really must find a skilled wife that can really cook food for her family
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Old 2012-02-21, 20:59   Link #10147
Dextro
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Quote:
Originally Posted by warita View Post
I was rather interested in finding out, how important a good cooking skills is to guys? Does a girl appeal to you more when she knows how to cook? Do you consider it romantic to get a meal served that was cooked with love? That kind of thing...
I can only speak for myself but I'll add it anyone: nope. A girl being a good cook or not really isn't important for me. I don't particularly mind cooking myself and I even enjoy doing it from time to time but I see cooking as something one must do to survive and not some important and/or symbolic thing that's filled with feelings. I know this sounds a bit harsh but I don't mean it that way, I just don't give it much importance that's all.

What I do find important is the same thing Ledgem and others have mentioned: for me to be happy with someone she would have to be able to take on the same household chores I can. I may not be a great cook, I may suck at doing dishes of the laundry but I at least make do and that's pretty much fundamental in today's hectic society. If I am to spend my life with someone that person must be able to do enough to survive on it's own so we can share the burden of keeping up a household.

And now I think I'll stop before I sound any more like a bastard/douche/*insert insult here*. Today is really not my day for making my self clear using the written word
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Old 2012-02-21, 21:03   Link #10148
monsta666
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Quote:
Originally Posted by warita View Post
I was rather interested in finding out, how important a good cooking skills is to guys? Does a girl appeal to you more when she knows how to cook? Do you consider it romantic to get a meal served that was cooked with love? That kind of thing...
I think to most guys a woman's ability to cook is more a welcome bonus rather than something they specifically look out for nor are they more attracted to a girl with good cooking abilities. Off course there are notable exceptions and some guys do look out for such things; I am only talking in a general sense. Also the answer to this sort of question maybe somewhat culture specific as in some cultures a woman's ability to cook is more highly valued. What I say next mainly applies to men's attitude in the western world.

The ability to cook and cook well is certainly helpful particularly if money is a bit tight and I think most guys, even if they can cook, will enjoy the feeling of coming home to a nice hearty meal after a hard days work. Sure, it may not be on the top of his agenda when looking out for a girl but it can help the relationship especially if done in a thoughtful way and is clearly benefiting the kids. In other words cooking helps maintain good feelings but it does not generate the feelings in the first place; that must come from something else. While cooking is certainly good at maintaining a relationship I don't think when it comes to major problems a woman's cooking abilities will amount to much. This is because if something bad happens the guy is not really going to consider a woman's cooking ability when evaluating whether he should break up with her. I guess what you can roughly equate cooking to is the nice guy effect. Being nice does not make a person fall in love with you but it can help in maintain what is already there. On the other hand like many people in the world, they will not be able to truly appreciate acts of kindness especially when they have felt wronged. I think those things can also apply to cooking but saying all that, I don't want to push this comparison too far because in a way I am comparing apples to oranges...

I think the biggest influence cooking can have on a guy is it can elevate his mood. If a guy is well fed it is quite likely he will be more suggestible and open to ideas. If a woman wanted to ask for a favour then a good meal could be a way of getting what she wants... I say that because there have been times when I have seen this happen, not to me (at least I don't think so ) but to another guy.
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Old 2012-02-21, 21:07   Link #10149
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Originally Posted by Dextro View Post
What I do find important is the same thing Ledgem and others have mentioned: for me to be happy with someone she would have to be able to take on the same household chores I can. I may not be a great cook, I may suck at doing dishes of the laundry but I at least make do and that's pretty much fundamental in today's hectic society. If I am to spend my life with someone that person must be able to do enough to survive on it's own so we can share the burden of keeping up a household.
This seems to be implying that you'd want someone who can supplement your abilities (based purely on wording, though I doubt that was your intention). Personally, I'd rather have someone who can compliment mine. I don't like my cooking at all, so I'd far prefer a girl who can cook well. Maybe she's not good at cleaning the house, doing dishes, or doing laundry? Well, I'm perfectly capable of doing that well enough. Efficiency and maximized shared abilities rather than being interchangeable is preferred for me.
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Old 2012-02-21, 22:23   Link #10150
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Originally Posted by GDB View Post
This seems to be implying that you'd want someone who can supplement your abilities (based purely on wording, though I doubt that was your intention). Personally, I'd rather have someone who can compliment mine. I don't like my cooking at all, so I'd far prefer a girl who can cook well. Maybe she's not good at cleaning the house, doing dishes, or doing laundry? Well, I'm perfectly capable of doing that well enough. Efficiency and maximized shared abilities rather than being interchangeable is preferred for me.
I'm not sure that was Dextro's point (and it certainly wasn't mine). It's the idea of contributing equally to get a job done, thereby lightening the load on everyone. For example, say that the laundry needs to be done, and a meal needs to be made. If both members of the relationship are capable of both tasks, then one member handles on task, while the other handles the other. Both benefit, and the total time and effort is cut in half.

Of course, that doesn't mean that you can't customize who does what. For example, my wife hates taking out the trash, so guess who handles that job? I find folding the laundry to be a boring and tedious task, but my wife likes it, so guess who often ends up with that task? But the point is that if either one of us couldn't do the work - whether because of illness or lack of time - the other could step in just as easily to take care of it.

I think there's something about knowing that your partner could handle it just fine that's somewhat reassuring. I think that most people don't want to feel like they're someone's maid, or that they're taking care of a child. Knowing that your partner is perfectly capable of doing the tasks on their own, and having them actively do other tasks, helps to prevent those sorts of feelings from occurring.
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Old 2012-02-22, 04:54   Link #10151
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One of my best friends is currently living with his girlfriend, neither of them know how to cook anything beyond pasta...last time I saw him, he told me "you don't know what it's like, living on spaghetti every single day!". That really made me glad I know how to cook, and I would appreciate it if my gf could whip something up while I'm away (assuming I have one, that is).

Using myself as an example, me and my 2nd brother can cook very well, the other two can't get as much done, and half of my friends will prepare a sandwich at best, while a few others may focus on foreign cuisine with increasing success. With so much diversity around, I'd say cooking is a useful skill that definitely gets a girl some points

Also from personal experience, a few women have been just as surprised when I told them I could cook as when they found out I can dance...and I certainly enjoy the former a lot more :P
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Old 2012-02-22, 05:16   Link #10152
Masuzu
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Seeing all the comments about food here, it really makes me feel guilty about eating on $2 a day even if I can afford more for my nutrition.
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Old 2012-02-22, 08:11   Link #10153
Dextro
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
I'm not sure that was Dextro's point (and it certainly wasn't mine). It's the idea of contributing equally to get a job done, thereby lightening the load on everyone. For example, say that the laundry needs to be done, and a meal needs to be made. If both members of the relationship are capable of both tasks, then one member handles on task, while the other handles the other. Both benefit, and the total time and effort is cut in half.

Of course, that doesn't mean that you can't customize who does what. For example, my wife hates taking out the trash, so guess who handles that job? I find folding the laundry to be a boring and tedious task, but my wife likes it, so guess who often ends up with that task? But the point is that if either one of us couldn't do the work - whether because of illness or lack of time - the other could step in just as easily to take care of it.

I think there's something about knowing that your partner could handle it just fine that's somewhat reassuring. I think that most people don't want to feel like they're someone's maid, or that they're taking care of a child. Knowing that your partner is perfectly capable of doing the tasks on their own, and having them actively do other tasks, helps to prevent those sorts of feelings from occurring.
That was exactly my point but as I said at the end of my post: my communication skills when I wrote that were... how shall I put it? ...kind of low.

The question isn't so much of looking for someone to supplement my skills, that would leave gaps somewhere eventually, but having the assurance that anyone of the two members of the household can do at least a passable attempt at every (or most) needed skills as a sort of failsafe.
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Old 2012-02-22, 11:14   Link #10154
Gamer_2k4
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Originally Posted by Kafriel View Post
One of my best friends is currently living with his girlfriend, neither of them know how to cook anything beyond pasta...last time I saw him, he told me "you don't know what it's like, living on spaghetti every single day!".
How are there still people like this? What's so hard about opening a recipe book and just doing what it says?

"Set the oven to 350F."
"BLARARAGHAGH WHAT'S AN OVEN"
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Old 2012-02-22, 12:35   Link #10155
warita
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Originally Posted by Gamer_2k4 View Post
How are there still people like this? What's so hard about opening a recipe book and just doing what it says?

"Set the oven to 350F."
"BLARARAGHAGH WHAT'S AN OVEN"
I think the deal with most people who dont cook these days isnt so much they couldnt cook if they wanted to as much as they are lazy and hence never even bother.

Sadly, a large proportion of the female population (here in Europe anyways) actually takes pride in not being able to cook anything. And when I say tell them I not only cook very well, I even LOVE cooking, they give me strange looks. I guess it makes me look old fashioned. And maybe I am a little on the conservative side, because I feel there is something sad about the fact that the young female generation couldnt even fix something nice for a special occation for their boyfriend..... and even more concerning is the fact that loads of woman take pride in it, as if though cooking a nice meals means you are playing the slave for your loved one.

Ah well, that is for everybody to decide in the end..... and there is something really nice about going out once a week. I have talked with my bf about it the other day and told him, that once we start living together, it would be nice to select one day per week (preferably friday or saturday night) and instead of cooking, we could eat out. I find rituals of this kind soothing and it is a treat you can look forward to all week long.
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Old 2012-02-22, 14:35   Link #10156
solomon
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Cooking is more of a health and finance issue rather than OMG HE/SHE IS SO MUCH HOTTER ON THE STOVE issue really.
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Old 2012-02-22, 16:08   Link #10157
Ledgem
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Originally Posted by Gamer_2k4 View Post
How are there still people like this? What's so hard about opening a recipe book and just doing what it says?

"Set the oven to 350F."
"BLARARAGHAGH WHAT'S AN OVEN"
It's a lot of effort. Actually, neither my wife nor I use a cook book, because it's too much work and too structured. We basically freestyle everything that we do. It's much more liberating. We're not making anything fancy, but then I think we're being pretty practical: it's food for us to eat throughout the week, not food for entertaining guests or making an impression. If people want to feel like they're eating at a five-star restaurant for each meal then I suppose that's their business, but as far as I'm concerned, it just needs to taste good and be nutritious. Being cheap helps, too

I think there's also a bit of a barrier to cooking if you've never done anything like it before. It's partly the effort, and partly the fear of failure (particularly the idea that you'll make yourself sick). To be perfectly honest, I didn't start cooking until after I had taken organic chemistry. It occurred to me that if I could put the various chemicals through all of those reactions, then cooking meat and vegetables shouldn't be too difficult. Nerdy, I know, but that was when I started cooking regularly. I think most people just need to try cooking or do something like it, to see that it's really not difficult and that they're perfectly capable of it.
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Old 2012-02-22, 16:21   Link #10158
Gamer_2k4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
It's a lot of effort. Actually, neither my wife nor I use a cook book, because it's too much work and too structured. We basically freestyle everything that we do. It's much more liberating. We're not making anything fancy, but then I think we're being pretty practical: it's food for us to eat throughout the week, not food for entertaining guests or making an impression.
Oh, I totally agree with that; my go-to meal is pork chops and frozen vegetables. Like you, I don't need to prepare restaurant-quality stuff every day either. I just think the statement, "I don't know how to cook," is ridiculous. There are books that tell you how to cook, and they don't use big words.
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Old 2012-02-22, 16:24   Link #10159
GDB
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
It's a lot of effort. Actually, neither my wife nor I use a cook book, because it's too much work and too structured. We basically freestyle everything that we do. It's much more liberating.
But not really practical if, as in the example given earlier, you only know how to make pasta (by which I assume it means either plain noodles, or plain noodles + sauce (spaghetti, for example)). There's an intrinsic lack of both knowledge and experience prevelent there that would likely lead to many hockey pucks.
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Old 2012-02-22, 16:34   Link #10160
Ledgem
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Originally Posted by Gamer_2k4 View Post
Oh, I totally agree with that; my go-to meal is pork chops and frozen vegetables. Like you, I don't need to prepare restaurant-quality stuff every day either. I just think the statement, "I don't know how to cook," is ridiculous. There are books that tell you how to cook, and they don't use big words.
You're right, but I understand where they're coming from. Most cook books have all sorts of fancy recipes that involve a lot of ingredients and quite a few steps. It's very involved. For someone who is just beginning and doesn't have anyone to guide them, the entire process - from selecting the ingredients, to preparing them, to the actual cooking itself - can seem overwhelming. Some parts of the process are left to experience, too. How hot should the frying pan be? When is the meat done, but not overdone?

All of this stuff is really pretty simple, but again, it's a lot of new things all at once. However, this conversation has me thinking that when I have children, I'll have them involved in grocery shopping and meal preparation at least some of the time, just so that it's not alien to them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GDB View Post
But not really practical if, as in the example given earlier, you only know how to make pasta (by which I assume it means either plain noodles, or plain noodles + sauce (spaghetti, for example)). There's an intrinsic lack of both knowledge and experience prevelent there that would likely lead to many hockey pucks.
Knowledge and experience are only part of the equation; a lot of the rest is creativity. Nearly all of my meals are rice-based, and there are even some ingredients that I reuse frequently because I like them, but I'm not making the same thing week after week (or even every other week). I vary it up. There is no written recipe that I follow, nor any directions from a cooking show, and only occasionally there's only a vague memory of something that I made before that I'm trying to re-create.

It's creativity; the idea that these things might go well together using this certain cooking process. People need to be less afraid of experimentation, and be more willing to try new things. I understand that when you're totally new to cooking, experimentation isn't necessarily the best thing to start with. But you build off of what you know. Your friend does pasta? Vary the vegetables, vary the sauces, vary the meats, add in other things, vary the types of pasta used. There's nothing wrong with having pasta as your base (when it goes on a really good sale, I switch from rice to pasta). But making the exact same thing, over and over? If you really like it, that's fine, but if it's due to a lack of creativity or an unwillingness to try something a little different, then the issue is something external to cooking.
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