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Old 2012-06-16, 04:05   Link #10441
MeoTwister5
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Where I can learn to be lonely.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
I remember my birthday because it is smack right in the middle of December. I believe Meotwister shares the same birthday as me.

Unfortunately, being a doctor, he doesn't have as good a taste for girls as me - he likes dojikkos who can't cook for nuts.
Being a Doctor apparently and unfortunately doesn't earn you bonus points. At least in my experience, no matter the type of woman, so I can't find even them Dojikkos heh. It doesn't seem to hold the same flair and pizzaz like it did years ago. Probably because most of the money these days go to call centers and whatnot methinks.

Also this month of June 2012 officially marks the ten solid years that I have been failing, in sequence, in all my romantic endeavors. That's a strange and depressing memory to remember. A friend of mine asked how someone finds the strength to continue going out there and taking risks, when all you ever can expect is going home broken and tired. I told him three things:

1. Therapy, and lots of it.
2. A good deal of flavored rum and vodka.
3. The idea that every bit of your loneliness and suffering will be validated, like they were nothing, when you finally find what you're looking for.

He wouldn't know of course since he's tying the knot at the end of this year. My single man's club has shrunk to just 3 guys. Almost ironic that I gave him advice on how to proceed, he took it, now he's getting hitched.

So here's a question for all of you: Have you ever found yourself to be the guy/girl who always doles out relationship advice to people because they they rank your advice highly, and said advice works for them, yet you're the one who has been effectively single all his/her life?
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Old 2012-06-16, 05:05   Link #10442
Masuzu
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^ That's me, used to be called Dr. Love until my clients all got what they wanted.
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Old 2012-06-16, 05:07   Link #10443
Kafriel
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Quote:
So here's a question for all of you: Have you ever found yourself to be the guy/girl who always doles out relationship advice to people because they they rank your advice highly, and said advice works for them, yet you're the one who has been effectively single all his/her life?
Isn't that what half the thread posters are? Well, if not...I sure am one :P It's nothing to feel bad about though, it's just that having a relationship is better than being single.
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Old 2012-06-16, 05:09   Link #10444
warita
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Originally Posted by ReaperxKingx View Post
I just wonder if a incest married couple decides to move to a country where incest isn't allow, what would happen in the immigration process?

You are asuming, that the authorities would know of the family relationship. But why would they? There is not any record of the linealogy in your passport and when you apply for a visa, there is not a question that goes: is your spouse related to you by blood and if yes, how closely are you related?

My guess is, that nobody would notice. Also, I am pretty sure they would recognize the marriage anyways.
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Old 2012-06-16, 05:12   Link #10445
Mr.Raw
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeoTwister5 View Post
So here's a question for all of you: Have you ever found yourself to be the guy/girl who always doles out relationship advice to people because they they rank your advice highly, and said advice works for them, yet you're the one who has been effectively single all his/her life?

To all bros out there:

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Old 2012-06-16, 06:00   Link #10446
zebra
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Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH.

*head-in-sand*

I think I need some psyching-up, guys.
My personal opinion is that you as a couple should decide and discover what you want. It's a nice thing you families embrace the union, but you don't need to make haste, if you don't want to.
Do you guys want to move in together beforehand?

I personally see that as must to see how living together works, but it's not a must for everyone.

But I'm happy for you two No matter if you get married sooner or later, you seem to have a nice relationship.

It's kinda scary thinking about that I'm the same age as your gf and I'm personally not anywhere near thinking about marriage. Granted, my relationship is rather fresh and young, but even if we were going out for years it wouldn't feel right just yet. Need to find my place in my career and life first

Quote:
Originally Posted by Calca View Post
How would one go about asking out a girl who is a cashier for a store? She is very outgoing to me and smiles a lot and seems disappointed when I don't talk with her more.

I've also caught her staring at me when I'm getting my stuff at the store. The type where she quickly looks away when I look at her.
Hey, I just met you-
and this is crazy!
But here's my number ... so call me maybe?


Just start a conversation ask for a name and if the convo isn't a total disaster, ask her out.
"Wanna grab some coffee sometime?" Is used so very often, but for the simple reason that it works.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kafriel View Post
Isn't that what half the thread posters are? Well, if not...I sure am one :P It's nothing to feel bad about though, it's just that having a relationship is better than being single.
I personally prefer to be single than being with the wrong person. Having someone is a lot nicer, though, but I really need someone that fits or it becomes a burden. I tend to be longer single than some of my friends, because of that - I'm picky when I meet someone and I don't stay when it doesn't feel right.

With my girlfriends and me it's more like a mutual exchange - everyone has advices for the others, sometimes we listen to each other ... sometimes we don't But no matter what, we'll always meet up and pour our hearts heart with a cup of coffee ... or a bottle of sparkling wine.
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Old 2012-06-16, 15:20   Link #10447
antediluvian
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I've been single for far too long. It doesn't bother me anymore, but I can safely say the one reason I currently have no interest in dating is because of this amazing friend I had back in high school & beyond. She was such a positive influence on my life and it was so great. I can think of a few moments where I let her down, years later, and I totally understand why I was let go. I had so many problems to contend with back then, my god, I wish I could go back and do it all over so she and I might be together today.

But to apply a bit of brutal honesty to myself for a moment: I deserve to be alone. I am a wretched creature.
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Old 2012-06-16, 15:32   Link #10448
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Quote:
Originally Posted by antediluvian View Post
I've been single for far too long. It doesn't bother me anymore, but I can safely say the one reason I currently have no interest in dating is because of this amazing friend I had back in high school & beyond. She was such a positive influence on my life and it was so great. I can think of a few moments where I let her down, years later, and I totally understand why I was let go. I had so many problems to contend with back then, my god, I wish I could go back and do it all over so she and I might be together today.

But to apply a bit of brutal honesty to myself for a moment: I deserve to be alone. I am a wretched creature.
Don't say that. People make mistakes in relationships including myself. It hurts when a girl leaves you, but sometimes pain can be turned into strength. I've been single for a few years now and I'm still trying to find myself before I commit myself to another relationship. The best thing to do is to find yourself, move forward, and start again. Even if you fall you''ll always get back up on your feet, it's one of the only ways we grow.
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Old 2012-06-16, 16:07   Link #10449
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Originally Posted by Kirito View Post
Don't say that. People make mistakes in relationships including myself. It hurts when a girl leaves you, but sometimes pain can be turned into strength. I've been single for a few years now and I'm still trying to find myself before I commit myself to another relationship. The best thing to do is to find yourself, move forward, and start again. Even if you fall you''ll always get back up on your feet, it's one of the only ways we grow.
Try never having been in a relationship - ever. It hurts so much to admit my feelings only to be rejected almost instantly. Only on very few occasions have I told someone how I feel and they didn't reject me - but the fact was that they thought they had feelings for me, but it turned out they didn't.

One girl over in America in particular that I had feelings for...she had feelings for me back when we first met, but I was looking slightly elsewhere. By the time I realised I had feelings for her, she too had moved on - though she thought she had feelings for me too. Turned out, 1 year after I fell for her, she didn't.

Heck, even now I'm going through drama with a girl I have feelings for (again, America...so sue me). She claims she doesn't know (or doesn't want to know) whether she has feelings for me or not - despite the fact that me and her have pretty much professing our feelings to each other for a month!

I feel like I'm at my wits end with dating and relationships. Either I'm going completely the wrong way about it, or I'm just an unlikable schlep who deserves to be alone. Or maybe I'm falling for the wrong people. I honestly don't know.

I've seen the 'you're a nice guy' card played a couple of times, mind...
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Old 2012-06-21, 22:17   Link #10450
ReaperxKingx
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Quote:
Originally Posted by viperdk1 View Post
Try never having been in a relationship - ever. It hurts so much to admit my feelings only to be rejected almost instantly. Only on very few occasions have I told someone how I feel and they didn't reject me - but the fact was that they thought they had feelings for me, but it turned out they didn't.

One girl over in America in particular that I had feelings for...she had feelings for me back when we first met, but I was looking slightly elsewhere. By the time I realised I had feelings for her, she too had moved on - though she thought she had feelings for me too. Turned out, 1 year after I fell for her, she didn't.

Heck, even now I'm going through drama with a girl I have feelings for (again, America...so sue me). She claims she doesn't know (or doesn't want to know) whether she has feelings for me or not - despite the fact that me and her have pretty much professing our feelings to each other for a month!

I feel like I'm at my wits end with dating and relationships. Either I'm going completely the wrong way about it, or I'm just an unlikable schlep who deserves to be alone. Or maybe I'm falling for the wrong people. I honestly don't know.

I've seen the 'you're a nice guy' card played a couple of times, mind...
Relationships are very complicated, you can met the one you are truly blessed with in unexpected moments. I know, because I met my girlfriend that way. So don't give up, just keep trying. The good thing is you are still trying, most would give up and never find someone at all. The point is, at most relationships with one you are destine for your entire life don't just appear quickly. It takes time, just because you lost an opportunity doesn't mean you won't get another chance. Be yourself and someone will take notice, all it takes is effort. If you don't make the effort, how will you know? Although stated many times, just don't give up and when you do get in a relationship be sure to know what you are getting into.
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Old 2012-06-27, 15:42   Link #10451
csuree
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Hey there everyone,

i think i have a bit of an issue here....i think you will laugh it off as a joke but i swear it isn't, my parents my brother are kinda like making fun out of this in the past 1-2 years.

My biggest issue is that i am 24 and i still didn't find love, i mean not true love or something like it i mean everything.... i hate to say it out loud i'm 24 i never had a relationship in my entire life, not even for a few hours, i'm a virgin, did not have my first kiss and i'm feeling depressed on this matter because i sometimes if not always i feel like i'm too arrogant and act as if i'm someone superior; i'm not considering myself like this because i'm a bit clumsy i have no talent for anything the only good thing about me is that i can retain information very fast, and a lot of it; I liked to help people a lot in any thing that i could help, but because of many of my so called "friends" just used me to get better grades , i might have changed into something ugly, without my knowledge. i'm also afraid of becoming an outcast, and i'm a bit inept in social skills like communicating, i'm also looking for some advice about this matter, but the good thing that these "bad" changes were discovered by myself, and i'm fighting against them.

i do not consider myself a very bad guy, my colleagues at work say that i'm kind, and hard-working, and try my best to help someone ( actually they said this to my mom who in turn told me.. and that she is very proud of me)... okay okay i'm a good guy but in today's world the good guys end up friend zoned....and that is not getting me anywhere

i'm a clean person, i do chores at home(because i live alone for 2 years now), i cook, wash, literally everything that needs to be done at home,

yet all these things not once i had the chance to have a relationship,
i'm not saying that i'm one of those religious guys who remain pure until they marry, i actually try to not be pure, and live my life for the fullest, and i'm kinda happy, but my happiness is incomplete without someone to share it with.

i "fell in love" cuple of times, i courted the respective girls, i treated them as ladies, but i only got in the "friend Zone" every time.
i'm a little bit anxious & reluctant about writing these things down here but i thought that here i can find some answers for my lifelong problems of not having a parter

P.S. I like girls, just so you don't think of calling me g*y, i'm 1000% heterosexual :P

Thanks in advance, have more luck in love than me...i might go for the title of 40 year old virgin (16 years to go :P)

and another thing where should i search for potential partners??? considering i'm not rich, please do not suggest too fancy places. anyhting would be fine
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Last edited by csuree; 2012-06-27 at 16:14.
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Old 2012-06-28, 07:01   Link #10452
Paranoid Android
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Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
My biggest issue is that i am 24 and i still didn't find love, i mean not true love or something like it i mean everything.... i hate to say it out loud i'm 24 i never had a relationship in my entire life, not even for a few hours, i'm a virgin, did not have my first kiss and i'm feeling depressed on this matter because i sometimes if not always i feel like i'm too arrogant and act as if i'm someone superior; i'm not considering myself like this because i'm a bit clumsy i have no talent for anything the only good thing about me is that i can retain information very fast, and a lot of it; I liked to help people a lot in any thing that i could help, but because of many of my so called "friends" just used me to get better grades , i might have changed into something ugly, without my knowledge. i'm also afraid of becoming an outcast, and i'm a bit inept in social skills like communicating, i'm also looking for some advice about this matter, but the good thing that these "bad" changes were discovered by myself, and i'm fighting against them.
People read you like an employer reads a resume. Your introduction of yourself gives a strong 'oh this is what everyone says about themselves' presence. If there's nothing you have that can give people a more distinct impression of yourself, you need to make up something or add something to your lifestyle. From a sliding scale of online poker to camping to skydiving to drawing incomprehensible things.

Quote:
i do not consider myself a very bad guy, my colleagues at work say that i'm kind, and hard-working, and try my best to help someone ( actually they said this to my mom who in turn told me.. and that she is very proud of me)... okay okay i'm a good guy but in today's world the good guys end up friend zoned....and that is not getting me anywhere
It's better you restrain comments about your mother. Moms and girlfriends are natural enemies. There's nothing wrong with feeling respected or respecting your parents, but it's a negative quality to be talking about it to whoever your date is.

Quote:
i'm a clean person, i do chores at home(because i live alone for 2 years now), i cook, wash, literally everything that needs to be done at home,
This is personality-specific but quite often, women would rather you not be 100% covered on all parts of your daily living. Then they feel unneeded. My ex-gf complains but enjoys cleaning up after me because I leave things around whenever I go to her house. I am actually not that rudely messy at other people's houses but I do that on purpose.

Quote:
i "fell in love" cuple of times, i courted the respective girls, i treated them as ladies, but i only got in the "friend Zone" every time.
'Friend zoning' is either a witty way to reject you and make fun of how gullible you are, or that girl is actually just some unreasonable extreme idealist who thinks men can genuinely be 'those kinds' of friends. Always take it as a staight-forward rejection. Going back and forth for 1 person will make time in your life fly by in an instant.

Quote:
and another thing where should i search for potential partners??? considering i'm not rich, please do not suggest too fancy places. anyhting would be fine
Most commonly, through male friends. People network and meet friends of each other. Hang around with out-going guys and you'll generally expand your social circle by their influence.

Forcefully, you can go to some post-secondary institution for a 2-4 year program to get some random skill you think might be good for having while having the opportunity to meet women 18~20's.

Municipal clubs/events. For example, volunteering, sports groups, festivals.. Working is better than attending. but you have to be out there.

I don't personally recommend relationship rooting from the internet. It's a gamble of time and the large majority of internet dating are directionless people who are not willing to commit. And those that are eager to commit come off as scammers xDDD
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Old 2012-06-28, 12:09   Link #10453
csuree
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huh thanks those were good advice.....

about the too general introduction that sounded plain, i did not present my whole self there and also i have my own quirks and hobbies as such, I love science, cars and motorsports involving drifting drag racing and tuning, astronomy, many conventional sports, anime, manga, light novels, sci-fi, adventure books and movies(i actually read a lot), i am also fascinated by nature, and natural phenomenas that happen all around us, i love to dance listen to music, hang out and party with my friends (usually the old ones from high school),
all these things define me as such and because they are rather unusual things that go together in my life many people think that i am a chaotic, unpredictable person who is also a geek.

i don't talk about my mom or my parents at any given place... i rather avoid that issue.. i had a not too conventional childhood "let's stick to this"

about the chores thing i don't quite do it too often so, the majority of the time when visitors come to me there isn't 100% clean environment but i tend to clean up the house myself once a week, girls here are a bit lazy these days.....maybe not all of them but i don't have the slightest idea how can i make a girl feel "needed" in my life, you can ask me any question about many things i answer you like a professor, but if you ask me about girls, i'm as dumb as a dead horse, even though i gave away good & successful advice to many of my friends in how to pick up girls, i myself did not have luck...

maybe i was too much of a nice guy that is why i go friend zoned but i don't know any other way to approach a stranger without getting rejected. so i go with the reject-free solution to become a friend with her and advance further.....i know it is a wrong tactic but i don't have confidence in myself i am too shy, and tend to blush (becoming red to the ears) when i talk to a girl to whom i am romantically attracted.

about getting to know new girls i am out but im too much of a coward to talk to them. i was thinking of maybe i should go to dance lessons(there i might meet new girls and because you have to dance with them the approach problem might be avoided), or another thng i would like to start up with kendo (we have a kendo school, but i don't know if there are any girls here), i somehow missed two anime meetings where i certainly could have found girls with similar interests as me (i will try to get to it next time), about meeting other girls in their 18-20's what suggestion do you have? cooking school? might be good? i don't have the slightest idea where i could go to meet girls where they are in numerical advantage but i don't feel bad being with them...(i htink dance school was a good suggestion but i'd like other ideas too,

in our town most of the festivals are in autumn so there is no problem i tend to go to them but i already said that i have problems talking to girls who i don't know, and what i should talk about?

volunteer work....same as with 5 -10 lines above but the problem is also that i kinda have to work my ass of just to live from one day to another and in the majority of my free time i relax, catch up with my hobbies, clean the house, cook food, wash dishes, wash, dry and iron clothes, so i have little time to do volunteer work even though i would like to do some.

the internet dating might be onvenient for someone with almost no free time as me and i tried it too and met up with some girls but somehow the fire died out and i became just a name in their list.

honestly i'd like to have a serious relationship but i think i should start up with something that doesn't last long to gain some XP.

I'd like to hear about your opinions as well on these matters too,

Anyway i learned a lot from your reply thanks again.
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Old 2012-06-28, 16:20   Link #10454
Gamer_2k4
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Originally Posted by csuree View Post
My biggest issue is that i am 24 and i still didn't find love, i mean not true love or something like it i mean everything.... i hate to say it out loud i'm 24 i never had a relationship in my entire life, not even for a few hours, i'm a virgin, did not have my first kiss
I'll be 24 in two months. I had my first girlfriend and first kiss within the past six months, and I'm still a virgin (the last one by choice). In other words, at the start of the year I was in exactly the same boat as you. You know what? It doesn't matter one bit.

Not everyone moves at the same pace in life, and it's not a bad thing to start later. One major benefit of never having a girlfriend before for me is that I still have my "innocence," so to speak. I've never had my heart broken, and I don't have any baggage from past failed relationships. Everything is new and wonderful.

Honestly, when the right girl comes along, it'll take you completely by surprise. I met my girlfriend because I had broken my pelvis in a climbing accident and was immobile for a couple of weeks, so I decided to mess around on a dating website. There she was.

I was a little bit concerned before this about my lack of experience. My game plan was waiting for the right one, but I had occasionally thought, "Perhaps I'll just go out with someone who isn't right for me, just to gain experience." I never did, and I don't regret it. Once you're in a relationship, it's pretty easy. Just don't be stupid and it'll be a breeze.

As far as actually meeting people, I've got nothing for you. I didn't have any success until I stumbled upon online dating, so that's the best advice I can offer. Still, don't stress out about it. You've got plenty of time left to be young. The right girl will come along eventually.
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Old 2012-06-28, 23:08   Link #10455
Malkuth
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Originally Posted by Ruby Princess View Post
Does anyone have any advice for how to date four guys at once without any of them finding out about each other? There's been plenty of times where I've dated two guys at once no problem, and three's a fun challenge, but four might be too tough for me.
A little late in replying this, but I believe Shirou and Shiki addressed your problem (gender-swapped of course) in Carnival Phantasm ep.2

In other words, don't. The only time I had to be with two girls in secret (ages ago) I felt like the biggest jerk in the universe... so unless they know about the situation and you guys are into those group stuff, better avoid the whole mess, usually it turns pretty nasty in the end, and the worst thing is that you can not blame anyone in the end
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Old 2012-06-29, 04:24   Link #10456
BradleySmith
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Old 2012-06-29, 06:24   Link #10457
harmonious
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Originally Posted by Ruby Princess View Post
I'm not a troll. ._. And as for the guys... ah...

Guy 1: The main boyfriend. We've been dating for a few years.
Guy 2: A person I've been seeing for about six months. He's the lighthearted playboy type, but he's getting serious enough that I could imagine him getting jealous if he knows I'm seeing other people.
Guy 3: A man I've been dating since October. He's started using the 'L word' recently. >.> Eep.
Guy 4: A person I've dated a few times this past month. He's so charming that I just couldn't help but go for him.



Six guys, MUAHAHAHAHA? That's impressive! Sounds like I could learn a thing or two from her. ^^;

I just saw this. Are you freaking kidding me? Your selfishness could irrevocably damage one or more of them when they find out. You could literally ruin their life. Quit playing around with people's emotions.
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Old 2012-06-29, 06:49   Link #10458
Mr.Raw
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Guys, she's gone already, responding to her is useless now
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Old 2012-06-29, 07:35   Link #10459
Merilyn Mensola
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I just saw this. Are you freaking kidding me? Your selfishness could irrevocably damage one or more of them when they find out. You could literally ruin their life. Quit playing around with people's emotions.
Probably they already know..and are ok with this.
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Old 2012-06-29, 08:22   Link #10460
Mr.Raw
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Ehh not really, she was asking what the best way was to keep it a secret from every guy. ANYWAYS, let's end the discussion about her and move on, she is not worth our time
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