Dating

[Thewanderer]

xD

It's just that ever since my ex-fiancee broke up with me last April, I've lost all willpower and confidence. I know I'm over her, but I feel broken.

[hakisak]

If you went out more you'd feel more confident. ^_^. I am being totally serious right now. I am not making fun of you. Lets get that clear. It's just eaiser to be direct. Once you post in a thread like this. You put yourself out there. But I like you.... So I am serious. No matter how it comes out.
FIRST!

I want you to say. "Fuck Her!" Go ahead...say it. "Fuck Her!"

You said it? Now about confidence. You are better off without her. You will wake one morning and wonder what the hell was the matter with you anyway.
(might be sooner if another chick gets you whipped)

You guys kill me with this confidence thing. I know it's easier said than done.
(Because "ugly" is not a nice word. We will use "Facially-Impaired People")

"Facially-Impaired People"... Especially guys. Are the most aggressive and bag the prettiest women. You know why? Because the have nothing to lose. So you have to think like a "Facially-Impaired Person" and say to yourself ..."I have nothing to lose" Then just go and kick it. Just don't be a rude, ass. Otherwise if you relax you should be fine.

People concentrate to much on the "What if he/she says no." and never think"What if she says yes."
"Facially-Impaired People"...think about the latter. (They have to) *no offense or anything*

and TW...
Thinking about the "How's" and "Why" you broke up. Won't get you anywhere. Stop doing that!

Don't jump into a shallow relationship. Seriously ...You should go out.

When you see a woman think "I have nothing to lose". You are witty. That's a dangerous weapon. Women love guys who make us laugh. We will over look any defect he has, if he's funny. If the girls are honest they will say say "She's right" (They're remembering the jerks the dated that way) jk.<--really not a joke.

Anything else?

[Thewanderer]

lol I loved that "Facially-Impaired People" motivational speech =p you're awesome like that.

Originally Posted by hakisak

Anything else?

Nothing else that's on-topic. Thanks though.

Originally Posted by DragoZERO

And a good source of advice: http://advice.eharmony.com/

I've been there before. 0 matches for me!

[DragoZERO]

Originally Posted by Thewanderer

I've been there before. 0 matches for me!

I was linking the advice part. As for the main site where you get matched up.. it is mixed results.

[SaintessHeart]

Talking about facially impaired I am one. I got big lips which are slightly slanted (due to a gangfight 6 years ago which "reoriented" my jaw...).

And as far as I know, the girls here are pretty material and go for good-looking guys. Never ceases to amaze me how some girls can attempt to act cute and innocent in front of a rich friend of mine (he is a lolicon like me ) just to chip off his allowance.

I feel that dating anime girls on a weekly basis by watching their anime is much better than dealing with such girls IRL. This is a personal preference, follow it or not is up to you.

[Crimson Cloud]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

I feel that dating anime girls on a weekly basis by watching their anime is much better than dealing with such girls IRL. This is a personal preference, follow it or not is up to you.

Hahaha, yeah I could agree with that in some point. Bad thing is that there is no contact with 2d girls. Well you can always buy a poster of the certain anime girl to touch it. Ok... that sounded.... a bit wrong...

[oompa loompa]

Originally Posted by Crimson Cloud

Hahaha, yeah I could agree with that in some point. Bad thing is that there is no contact with 2d girls. Well you can always buy a poster of the certain anime girl to touch it. Ok... that sounded.... a bit wrong...

a-tee-hee

[Xvoki]

Originally Posted by Crimson Cloud

Hahaha, yeah I could agree with that in some point. Bad thing is that there is no contact with 2d girls. Well you can always buy a poster of the certain anime girl to touch it. Ok... that sounded.... a bit wrong...

I heard that in Japan you can buy blow up dolls of certain anime characters... for eh... touching... and stuff... the perfect gift for a male anime fan down on his luck in the RL GF department.

[hakisak]

WTH?! Isn't the point of this thread--making the need "Blow-up Dolls" for blow-up dolls,obsolete?

Uh. Uh...No Pery Fantasies Allowed!

Let me help you, so in turn--I can help some lonely girl. We out number you guys. There are lot more lonely girls than there is guys.

Seriously...

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Its just something I noticed. Going by the guys who picked me up and people I see in and know in my personal life or in general.
And as far as I know, the girls here are pretty material and go for good-looking guys. Never ceases to amaze me how some girls can attempt to act cute and innocent in front of a rich friend of mine (he is a lolicon like me ) just to chip off his allowance.)

I feel that dating anime girls on a weekly basis by watching their anime is much better than dealing with such girls IRL. This is a personal preference, follow it or not is up to you.

*Record Skip*

No you didn't...

There are GUYS who do the exact same thing. This is not a battle of the sexes. It's about dating. If you like anime girls better. Just say...I prefer 2-D girls. You don't have to insult women to do it. That could be why you can't get a date and nothing to do with money at all. :stare:

I could understand that.---I feel the same way. (Find I prefer 2-D males. See guy in the avatar/sig?....That's my boo!)

Unfortunately my boyfriend does not.

The only thing you need to know is women and men think differently. (Don't try to figure us out. Just try to play the game ^0^)


There are women like that. If she's a skank like that only looks at money. Get some hit and dump her. Or the hell with her, you don't need a chick like that.

Don't label all women like that. If you persist in thinking that. How can you trust any girl likes you? We are not all like that.

Most of date with our hearts (except the whores, they do it with other parts ^0^).

We have to like you, love you or, feel we can love you within five minutes of meeting you. -- Guys do not think like that.

You ever heard the saying "It's a womans prerogative to change her mind"? It's because we can be convinced we really like a guy, we thought we didn't by that guy if he plays his cards right...

Advice for the ladies


If you are at a party and you wonder why a guy hasn't talked to you all night.

It's because he's watched you turn down guy after guy all night. I know some were "Facially Impaired," Too Short or Ewww <--those I give you a pass for.

Thing you have to understand is. Guys don't judged other guys They only say that about cute guys. They can tell if he's "Facially Impaired"


Even guys who seem the most confident have to have a ego-booster.

"What?! She's talking to that dude!! Oh I know I can get her"

If they see you not mingling with any guy, they will just think you are cold. You are going to have to flirt with some of those rejects...NOT LEAD THEM ON...JUST FLIRT.

Originally Posted by Thewanderer

lol I loved that "Facially-Impaired People" motivational speech =p you're awesome like that.

Thank you. You are awesome too *huggles* Despite your filler sickness :P

More than than that you understand I wasn't making in fun of you, right?

I won't make fun of any of you. I am just going to give it to you straight. It's the best way. You asked and I know I can help since I am a chick--who can think like a guy.

Plus I can spot game, and I got's game. It really doesn't sound good when a chick says this...but I HAVE experience

Game isn't what you say--it's how you play it.

You (TW) need to to get over what you can't change. Until you do that, you won't be able to date.

You can get advice online, but you can't find your match.

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Talking about facially impaired I am one. I got big lips which are slightly slanted (due to a gangfight 6 years ago which "reoriented" my jaw...).

I hope you weren't offended.... I was trying not to be offensive.
It's the best way I could say it. I don't like to call real people that Characters can't type...it's not nice.

I am sorry to say there are shallow people like that. You don't need those kind. Those lips are doing you a favor...

At the same time...

You could work around that. You see "All that glitters isn't gold" but there is a such thing as "packaging."

1. If you aren't going to get plastic surgery. Forget about the shit you can't change. Instead work around it.

2. Find a hairstyle that takes attention away from your lips. To make the damage, appear less severe.

3. Always try to look your best. (Note: You don't have to wear expensive clothes to do that)


4...Just for you.:stare: Get off your ass and put some effort in to it. And I don't expect you to trick(spend money just so a person will like you)---but you could spend a little money Don't be so damn cheap.

5. Figure your good qualities and put them onto to display. If you are person that people tell they are funny. I mean laughing with you not at you....or making fun of you. If you're witty..USE IT. That's a truly a dangerous weapon in the hands of any man.

6. Don't make sexist comments, or tell everything you are truly thinking--she doesn't love you, yet.

7 Don't lie. It just ends badly..

8. Remember if she doesn't appreciate you for who you are. Think "Fuck her! " don't let it bruise your ego. That's just life...

Just try to kick it to somebody else. It's why its called dating. You are only a "dog" if you act like one. If you are committed and you still sleep around. Or you're just a complete "asshole/pig/chauvinist---that sorta thing. You are free to ask any number of girls out you want to.

Sometimes an "Facially Impaired Person" can become Beautiful and an Beautiful person can start to appear "Facially Impaired" ---the more you get to know them. Keep that in mind.


I can't think of anything else atm, anyone else?

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by hakisak

I won't make fun of any of you[/U]. I am just going to give it to you straight. It's the best way. You asked and I know I can help since I am a chick--who can think like a guy.

Plus I can spot game, and I got's game. It really doesn't sound good when a chick says this...but I HAVE experience

I can't think of anything else atm, anyone else?

*leaning on the wall, arms crossed continuing to observe this thread quietly*
No no, it's interesting when you state 'i am a girl who can think like a guy', the point here for guys who are asking for advice and may want a female perspective is to have girls who think like a girl, so when they give their thoughts out, it's geniunely feminine.

Since you've taken the no BS, zero sugar coating approach on a topic that's sensitive for most, I'll leave it to ya.
Although you've said it before, do keep referring to the point that this just happens to be your approach to this topic and you're not directly attacking anyone else.
Our minds may understand your logic, but people's hearts can still be stung...

[Irenicus]

Originally Posted by hakisak

5. Figure your good qualities and put them onto to display. If you are person that people tell they are funny. I mean laughing with you not at you....or making fun of you. If you're witty..USE IT. That's a truly a dangerous weapon in the hands of any man.

[Devil's Advocate mode; i.e. "He's a foreigner from Mars."]

See, the thing is, when girls say find your good qualities, the thing they always mention is being funny and witty. And it also happens to be the only thing mentioned every time. -_- What about shy people or those with unique senses of humour and such? Not everyone's Chris Rock (or Kyon, *grins*) and quite a few of the guys find humour about Super Smash Bros. or whatever* funnier than trying to play the suave playboy.

*Note: Super Smash Bros. jokes cannot reach me either. Just an example. Mind, I have my own, erm, "humour quirks."

I mean, apart from being fun, one could always cynically add "money" and "looks" into the equation. But beyond that "good qualities" becomes rather, ah, intangible.

Examples,

Intellectual? -- I just heard someone muttered "boring" really loud.
Strong? -- O...kay. If that's your thing I guess. People who try to show their strength just come out like dangerous material though.
Confident? Pushy? -- Sorry girls, but as a guy I can definitely say that you've just got yourself an egotistic sonofabitch.
Broad back? Big hands? -- shoujo/yaoi cliché alert.
Good in bed? -- an important quality (haha), but I don't hear people advertise it. And those who do, well...
"Driven In Pursuit of a Big Dream" -- I see that a lot in shonen fare but never in real life or "chic fiction."
Caring? Nice? -- Haha. Ha. Hahaha. Ha~ Ha...

[/Goes back to the Death Star]

So, essentially, as a girl, what do you usually look for in guys?

[Thewanderer]

Originally Posted by hakisak

If you are at a party and you wonder why a guy hasn't talked to you all night. [/B]

It's because he's watched you turn down guy after guy all night. I know some were "Facially Impaired," Too Short or Ewww <--those I give you a pass for.

Thing you have to understand is. Guys don't judged other guys They only say that about cute guys. They can tell if he's "Facially Impaired"


Even guys who seem the most confident have to have a ego-booster.

"What?! She's talking to that dude!! Oh I know I can get her"

If they see you not mingling with any guy, they will just think you are cold. You are going to have to flirt with some of those rejects...NOT LEAD THEM ON...JUST FLIRT. [/CENTER]

Kinda discourages guys that are shy from approaching girls though. You know, if they're flirting with other guys.

Though I hope you're not grouping them in with the "rejects" you're talking about... =p

Originally Posted by hakisak

Thank you. You are awesome too *huggles* Despite your filler sickness :P

More than than that you understand I wasn't making in fun of you, right?

I won't make fun of any of you. I am just going to give it to you straight. It's the best way. You asked and I know I can help since I am a chick--who can think like a guy.

Plus I can spot game, and I got's game. It really doesn't sound good when a chick says this...but I HAVE experience

Game isn't what you say--it's how you play it.

You (TW) need to to get over what you can't change. Until you do that, you won't be able to date.

You can get advice online, but you can't find your match.

lol I guess just need to get out more. I've just followed the same routine as when I was with her. Aka staying home on the computer all day. That's what I get for dating a D&D/computer geek though

Though I haven't actually dated for... going on 4 years now. Bleh. It'll be hard to get used to dating again. Dx

[Kakashi]

I think you can read and memorize all the tips and tricks that go with dating, but they never really help much. As a guy, what helped me most was to dive straight in and get experience. It really is a simple matter of doing it.

What do girls look for in a guy? Who gives a shit. How can I get a girl to like me? You can't, you can only be yourself and believe that a girl will like that person. You say that, but a girl has never approached me or shown interest in me? That's because you don't give yourself the chance. Go to parties, or someplace with a crapload of ladies. You'll make mistakes and feel like a complete douche without a doubt, just don't take it too seriously because it doesn't matter. Most girls will overlook any flaw if they like your vibe.

Hakisak's advice is good because it doesn't overcomplicate the issue. And yes, please get over 2D girls if that happens to be holding you back.

[Trespur]

Originally Posted by Kakashi

I think you can read and memorize all the tips and tricks that go with dating, but they never really help much. As a guy, what helped me most was to dive straight in and get experience. It really is a simple matter of doing it.

What do girls look for in a guy? Who gives a shit. How can I get a girl to like me? You can't, you can only be yourself and believe that a girl will like that person. You say that, but a girl has never approached me or shown interest in me? That's because you don't give yourself the chance. Go to parties, or someplace with a crapload of ladies. You'll make mistakes and feel like a complete douche without a doubt, just don't take it too seriously because it doesn't matter. Most girls will overlook any flaw if they like your vibe.

Hakisak's advice is good because it doesn't overcomplicate the issue. And yes, please get over 2D girls if that happens to be holding you back.

I used to be a complete social recluse until my senior year of HS when I started to actually hang out with my friends a bit outside of school. So far, my freshman year of college, I've made many friends but I didn't go to a party until around november. Now I go out all the time and I have noticed that it's not that big of a deal really. About a month ago, I was approached by a girl for the first time in my life. However, I just talked to her like she was a normal human being. Unfortunately, she left several minutes after we talked. I was approached by two girls (one was very good looking) two weeks ago at a party.

Now, I can easily make small talk and make girls laugh. I can't seem to get beyond this though. I have plenty of female friends, but that seems to be all I ever get. Everytime I talk to a girl I end up in the friendzone even though I'm confident and funny. I'm not the best looking guy (slowly working on this, got a good haircut this weekend, working on getting rid of the last remnants of my acne, losing some weight) but I'm not bad either. Maybe it's because I look much younger than I am. I'm short and have a baby face and girls always call me "cute" and want to hug me but unfortanetly I think it's the bad type of cute.

How can I escalate things beyond just a small chat? I really don't know what to say. I can literally talk with girls for hours on end but nothing ever goes beyond this. What do I start to say or do so things go beyond this? I mean I want to bring things to the next level with a girl, but I really have no clue what to do. Probably doesn't help that I never started trying till college, so I'm really confused on what to do. Do I ask them out on a regular date? But what about meeting a girl at a party, seems kind of weird to ask them out there? I'm just really confused, I honestly have no idea what to do. I know what I want but have no clue of how to get there.

[fanty]

Originally Posted by Trespur

How can I escalate things beyond just a small chat? I really don't know what to say.

I think one of the biggest mistakes some people make is that they think that there's something they need to say. But flirting isn't about talking. You can be talking about rainbows and bunnies but imply much more. Flirting is about body language! And that stuff's like... hard-wired into you!

Ah, always wanted to say this. I'm tired of seeing so many people on the internet not getting something so basic

[Kakashi]

Originally Posted by Trespur

I used to be a complete social recluse until my senior year of HS when I started to actually hang out with my friends a bit outside of school. So far, my freshman year of college, I've made many friends but I didn't go to a party until around november. Now I go out all the time and I have noticed that it's not that big of a deal really. About a month ago, I was approached by a girl for the first time in my life. However, I just talked to her like she was a normal human being. Unfortunately, she left several minutes after we talked. I was approached by two girls (one was very good looking) two weeks ago at a party.

Now, I can easily make small talk and make girls laugh. I can't seem to get beyond this though. I have plenty of female friends, but that seems to be all I ever get. Everytime I talk to a girl I end up in the friendzone even though I'm confident and funny. I'm not the best looking guy (slowly working on this, got a good haircut this weekend, working on getting rid of the last remnants of my acne, losing some weight) but I'm not bad either. Maybe it's because I look much younger than I am. I'm short and have a baby face and girls always call me "cute" and want to hug me but unfortanetly I think it's the bad type of cute.

How can I escalate things beyond just a small chat? I really don't know what to say. I can literally talk with girls for hours on end but nothing ever goes beyond this. What do I start to say or do so things go beyond this? I mean I want to bring things to the next level with a girl, but I really have no clue what to do. Probably doesn't help that I never started trying till college, so I'm really confused on what to do. Do I ask them out on a regular date? But what about meeting a girl at a party, seems kind of weird to ask them out there? I'm just really confused, I honestly have no idea what to do. I know what I want but have no clue of how to get there.

To me it sounds like the only thing you're not doing is flirting. You have to make sure that, if you have the hots for a girl, you sort of make it evident at an early stage. By no means do you have to be all brazen about it, be subtle and give her a clue which direction you want things to go. Paying compliments and teasing generally work from my experience, at least to give me some basic things to keep in mind. Especially lighthearted teasing. As for what you can do, something which worked for me was to sit (or stand, if you're at a bar) very close to the girl. Talk to her for a while and move close. Literally get as close as you can and get some body contact going. Ask to see her hand and say how small it is or w/e, and rest your head on hers.

And yeah, you shouldn't ask a girl out at the party, you simply exchange numbers at the end of the party and call her later to organise a date later. Give her your number first of course, and then she should give you hers. You sound like a great guy so it's only a matter of time.

[Trespur]

Originally Posted by Kakashi

To me it sounds like the only thing you're not doing is flirting. You have to make sure that, if you have the hots for a girl, you sort of make it evident at an early stage. By no means do you have to be all brazen about it, be subtle and give her a clue which direction you want things to go. Paying compliments and teasing generally work from my experience, at least to give me some basic things to keep in mind. Especially lighthearted teasing. As for what you can do, something which worked for me was to sit (or stand, if you're at a bar) very close to the girl. Talk to her for a while and move close. Literally get as close as you can and get some body contact going. Ask to see her hand and say how small it is or w/e, and rest your head on hers.

And yeah, you shouldn't ask a girl out at the party, you simply exchange numbers at the end of the party and call her later to organise a date later. Give her your number first of course, and then she should give you hers. You sound like a great guy so it's only a matter of time.

I think I might just be a little uncomfortable with my body still. Hopefully once I lose some weight I can start making things a bit more physical. I have 0 experience with this (beyond dancing/grinding with girls) but I shouldn't let that hold me back, gotta start somewhere. I know I'll make mistakes but I can only learn if I make mistakes.

[0utf0xZer0]

Originally Posted by Kakashi

To me it sounds like the only thing you're not doing is flirting. You have to make sure that, if you have the hots for a girl, you sort of make it evident at an early stage. By no means do you have to be all brazen about it, be subtle and give her a clue which direction you want things to go. Paying compliments and teasing generally work from my experience, at least to give me some basic things to keep in mind. Especially lighthearted teasing. As for what you can do, something which worked for me was to sit (or stand, if you're at a bar) very close to the girl. Talk to her for a while and move close. Literally get as close as you can and get some body contact going. Ask to see her hand and say how small it is or w/e, and rest your head on hers.

The compliment one sounds really useful, I'll have to keep that one in mind. Getting close I'm a little less sure about. I worry it could scare the girl off.

Do you have any tips regarding the follow up phone call type stuff? I've never been that good on the phone.

[Kakashi]

Originally Posted by Trespur

I think I might just be a little uncomfortable with my body still. Hopefully once I lose some weight I can start making things a bit more physical. I have 0 experience with this (beyond dancing/grinding with girls) but I shouldn't let that hold me back, gotta start somewhere. I know I'll make mistakes but I can only learn if I make mistakes.

Yeah, well obviously getting fit will do wonders for your confidence in that department. I've never been a gym type guy because I can never get motivated, but sport and swimming seemed to do the trick.

Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0

The compliment one sounds really useful, I'll have to keep that one in mind. Getting close I'm a little less sure about. I worry it could scare the girl off.

Aye, but it's not such an issue if you're both a little drunk, which is common at parties. Even without drink, towards the end of the evening people tend to get tired and therefore more relaxed, making it less likely the girl will get freaked out. Presumably you'd have been talking to the girl for a while, holding hands and leaning on eachother is 'noninvasive' so it's the most acceptable way to get closer to a girl for the first time. It's quite a sweet thing to do as well.

If you ever want to kiss a girl, play with her hair and say how soft her hair is, then lean in. Never fails.

Do you have any tips regarding the follow up phone call type stuff? I've never been that good on the phone.

What do you have trouble with? I'd call the girl a day or two after you get her number, and ask her if she wanted to go out some time. Have a time and place in mind in case she can't decide. If you have trouble getting the words out, text her. I did that.

[rio]

Originally Posted by Kakashi

Yeah, well obviously getting fit will do wonders for your confidence in that department. I've never been a gym type guy because I can never get motivated, but sport and swimming seemed to do the trick.



Aye, but it's not such an issue if you're both a little drunk, which is common at parties. Even without drink, towards the end of the evening people tend to get tired and therefore more relaxed, making it less likely the girl will get freaked out. Presumably you'd have been talking to the girl for a while, holding hands and leaning on eachother is 'noninvasive' so it's the most acceptable way to get closer to a girl for the first time. It's quite a sweet thing to do as well.

If you ever want to kiss a girl, play with her hair and say how soft her hair is, then lean in. Never fails.



What do you have trouble with? I'd call the girl a day or two after you get her number, and ask her if she wanted to go out some time. Have a time and place in mind in case she can't decide. If you have trouble getting the words out, text her. I did that.

y.. you are awesome.. especially the quotes
If you ever want to kiss a girl, play with her hair and say how soft her hair is, then lean in. Never fails.
and
Ask to see her hand and say how small it is or w/e, and rest your head on hers.




you are a very playboy, aren't you? or is it usual to do for boys ?

i haven't seen boys doing that in Japan.. maybe they are shy . They aren't good at praising girls .

i think praising girls to get a girlfriend is not so bad..if i were treated like that, i wouldn't feel bad (though if it seemed very intentionally or exaggerated, i would withdraw )but how will you keep that attitude to her in your relationship ?

i just wonder.. if you do that by your natural personality, it's good. But if you just pretend,and stop that when you are tired, that relationship wouldn't turn good , and as a result hurt her .


How do you think about it?