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Old 2012-08-07, 05:52   Link #10601
GN0010 Nosferatu
Burning Red!
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Hargenteen
Age: 25
Doesn't it suck when you have persistent dreams about your ex boyfriends/girlfriends?

My first love did me in a few years ago. It doesn't hurt much these days, but on the days I dream of her, man...I got a little rain cloud following me around. -_-
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Old 2012-08-07, 06:23   Link #10602
DonQuigleone
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 26
I don't think they ever really go away...
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Old 2012-08-07, 07:42   Link #10603
Masuzu
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^ I know that feel, bro.
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Old 2012-08-07, 17:22   Link #10604
MUAHAHAHAHAHA
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: hahahahahahahahaha
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
happiness is indeed a state of mind but how can i make myself happy when every step i take reminds me of my past. should i move away from this country or is there another method to overcome this.
Most, if not all have tainted past. Live through that period, do not live IN it. It won't do you any good. Embrace the past, make it part of you. Do not escape from it. It is through our tainted past that we discover more about the world and also ourselves. Do not be your own judge and punish yourself. Yes, you may have made a mistake or have an unpleasant past but must you spend the rest of your life atoning for it?


Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
anyway this way of thinking isn't getting me anywhere....i'm a total loser and i will always be.. i sometimes give off a puff of smoke called confidence but this goes away at the first breeze.....
Unless you possess some form of powers or the ability to tell the future, you cannot dictate what the rest of your life would be. You can't change unless you get past this negative view of yourself. You expect friends and women to come running to you when you don't even love yourself. You must love yourself first before allowing yourself to be loved by others. Accept the beautiful and the ugly side of you. I have struggled with this problem myself. I didn't have a very good opinion of myself, but I have started to change slowly. I am still learning to embrace my "whole" self, not the self that I present to the public. You give off a puff of smoke called confidence because that's not who you really are. You are afraid of appearing less than what society expects from you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
about my experiences i like to think that every man/woman is like a precious gem. our life shapes us to a jewel. but if the "shaping tools" are bad then even the diamond will be worthless. i think of myself as one failed gem at the moment, but i am also afraid that repairing these defects will cause me to lose some big chunks, and this will change me into a very different person.
My dear fellow, your own analogy pretty much does the explanation for you. However rough the gem is, it's still a gem. There is still something precious about it. I can honestly assure you that there are no perfect gems in this world. We all started out as rough gems, then we slowly shape up to become an almost perfect gem through trials and tribulations. The point is, no humans are completely worthless. My idea of a useful being is this: a heart. As long as you are breathing, it is not the end yet. Your life is still running.

Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
my honest thoughts about this are that i am scared of the way i am now, i would want to only be more sociable more outgoing, i don't want to give up anything that defines me right now. (or maybe the way i am right now is the failed thing. i really don'know)
I don't know about others, but to me, sociable means making friends and interacting with them in a positive manner. No one is asking you to go to endless partying or change your image into a playboy. You need not have to change a thing. Just go out, talk to ppl, discover more about them and also allow them to discover more about you. I know what you are trying to say. You are afraid that you might have to change to suit what your friends would like you to be. Sharing from my own experience, such friends are useless. Being sociable and friendly are good, but there need to be a line drawn. You cannot please everyone. Just be yourself, and if through the experience of interacting you think you would like to change something about yourself, then fine. But do not be pressured into it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
i don't want to self-analyze myself... i've done it a countless times and that only brings me down.
Reflection is good, but never ever do it in an excessive manner. Particularly for someone as sensitive as you, if you think too much, you are going to end up being too emotional, to the point it's hard for you to "know" yourself. Try eliciting opinion from your parents or peers. Jot down what you think about yourself, then do the same after asking your parents or peers. You would be surprised that there is a "hidden" gem in you. Very often, we humans may be so harsh on ourselves that we forget we could sometimes be beautiful.

Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
my humblest apologies, i just don't have the will to fight for my happiness i'm giving up. all these years i fought, i clung to something that was not there... not even for a second....i ran i ran i ran after it countless times but never reached it...
To me, that's life. Life is all about running. We run as hard as we could, and the last breath that we take is the end of the marathon. To achieve anything, we need to chase after it relentlessly. Run, run, run, run.............All these years you run and you haven't achieved anything? Okay, take a 5 minute break and then continue running. But never take an eternal break before your time is truly up. Allow yourself to cry, whine, shout, curse,etc etc, but do not make it into a permanent habit.

One last word of advice. Having read through majority of your posts, I have come to notice that you think too much. Look at life as it is, you musn't delve too deep into it. Do that, and you will face a myriad of intricate and complex issues involving the human nature and human society.
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Last edited by MUAHAHAHAHAHA; 2012-08-07 at 17:34.
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Old 2012-08-07, 17:47   Link #10605
ChainLegacy
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Join Date: Feb 2004
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Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
~edit: i just saw that under my age i am red.. i got negative reputation... very nice...the good guy gone bad... i deserve it~


well as i said it i am gloomy almost 100% of the time, but i give off always the atmoshphere that nothing had happened. in fact...
Believing you deserve bad things is part of your problem. You can't on the one hand believe you deserve bad things and wish for good things. Well, I suppose you could do that, but good things never come to people like that. You have to make things happen for yourself in life. I had terrible anxiety problems as a child and was brought to a psychiatrist, they tried medication, etc. None of that worked.

What did work was getting out there and realizing I was good at things, I excelled at a particular sport in high school which led me to all kinds of current hobbies and ideas that I occupy my time with. You can't think you're bad, and even though it sounds a bit arrogant, it certainly helps me to think I'm "one of the best." Every good person out there deserve to have that kind of confidence, regardless of the reality.

Finding your talents and working at them can be a great way to prove to yourself that you have inner potential; that you can change and improve yourself - shape the 'clay' that is your body and mind into its most elegant form. That has been my goal for several years and it is the most effective way to stave off feelings of self-pity. You don't have time to kick yourself when you're driven towards a lofty goal. Weightlifting was the first thing that did it for me; I found I kept getting better at it so long as I ate healthy foods and put in the time and effort. It can be anything, though - nowadays I derive personal pride from other pursuits (rock climbing, bass guitar, promoting my websites)... Having some pride in yourself, or at least having the pride to push yourself towards believing you can accomplish things is critical... don't forget it.

Another thing is, no matter what I or anyone else tells you, you have to be the one that accepts and makes a conscious change to alter your mentality. As I'm sure all of us know, reading or listening to someone else's advice and agreeing with them, is a much different thing than actually incorporating new principles into your life. One technique to remember is that of 'meta-cognition' - we, as humans, are the only animals on Earth that are self-aware. Use this to your advantage. Feeling blue, unconfident, etc? You can always push back, purposefully, against such thoughts. I know that for me it is almost like an internal dialogue - doubts, weak feelings (as I call them), inevitably creep in sometimes (though the frequency lessens the more confident one becomes, of course!), but I purposefully create an internal 'voice' that proclaims them to be nonsense. Maybe I'm just a weirdo with the internal dialogue bit, but I know meta-cognition is an extremely powerful psychological tool. Use it. Don't let those thoughts of weakness win (judging by your posts, you analyze your miseries quite a bit. Trust me, I was once the same way, as an anxious person, but you can't even spend a speck of your time on negative thoughts. You accomplish nothing and instead reinforce all the bad crap that has you in the predicament to begin with.) Push them away, and drive yourself towards greatness in whatever pursuits your derive fulfillment from.

PS. Also, if you eat a lot of junk food, that may also contribute to your problems. Some people can be perfectly happy eating crap and still enjoy life, but I'm not one of them. I didn't truly clear up my depressive tendencies until I discovered paleolithic nutrition and cut all artificial food out of my diet, as well as monitor the proper amount of trace minerals, omega-3's, gut flora, etc... The body is a machine and the brain is a big cog in that machine; feed it high quality fuel or it will not work properly...
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Old 2012-08-08, 11:19   Link #10606
csuree
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yeah , well hello again, i'm back

after a week of so called shutting out the bad thing in my life, i returned a little bit refreshed.
i read through the posts and found out that indeed i might think a bit too much, the problem also is that i think fast too, and this aggravates the situation because i think very much in a very little timespace, i observed it many times already and because of my nerdy thinking self i found some addictions that relax me and take my mind of the everyday problems, i love cars driving, anime, manga, light novels, science(but that is also thinking games,

but it came down to this....in april-may i found myself glued to my addictions, and they took out almost 80% of my free-time. i said enough! i was playing WOW like it is for my life so i deleted it from my computer. i don't say anime manga and now i play visual novels, are better either but they at least these have a message, they can teach you, not like that stupid idotic game where you kill the other-one and you gain nothing in real life.

i read through all your replies and thank you for the advice i will try to incorporate as many as i can in my life, i might go try out some sports,; about eating.. i don't quite have the money to eat junk-food i try to save money by cooking for myself at home. it is generally something simple but it also relaxes me,
as i deduced from all your messages the best thing to do would be to somehow shut myself out of my head, not to think of me too much and in return to concentrate all that effort into something that is more constructive and i can also benefit from it.

it may not sound much but, Thank you,
i never really knew that people can care for one another even if they did not meet in real life, truly, this is like a small little society, i also have the courage to call it a family, that helps its members to grow, to overcome their problem and i think this was a good decision......i mean that 8 years ago i became hooked to anime :P, if i didn't i would not have ended up here.
i will say this if you ever come to visit Oradea or somewhere near feel free to contact me, and we might go out having a beer, a good talk, i know some good places.

Anyhow starting this month, this little hatchling takes the leap in the air and even if i fall to the ground i will get up and eventually soar higher than any mountain :P
bad memories are just like extra kilograms on a sports car, you need to get them out, in order to win the race.

i will keep you posted, and we might also chat.
and even though i did not have a girl YET, i will give advice, cuz help does not matter where it is coming from, if it is from the bottom of the heart.

take care everyone, i will go cook my evening meal :P

back in a few hours <wave>
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Old 2012-08-09, 03:46   Link #10607
NorthernFallout
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In itself, by "becoming something else" you are moving on. Time heals, etc., as cliché as it sounds. Channel those emotions into something and shape it. Not sure how old you are, but you sound young. It'll pass.

While your situation wasn't exactly the same as mine, if anything it was in reverse and somewhat worse, I would recommend trying to occupy your mind with something else. If you don't exercise, do that. Oddly, that's what I started doing and it actually helped. Otherwise, whatever hobbies you might have. And do remember it's a big world out there. Again, it hurts now, but it'll stop in time.
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Old 2012-08-09, 03:53   Link #10608
MUAHAHAHAHAHA
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Location: hahahahahahahahaha
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hasumi View Post
I tried to put up a brave face for AS and shrug the whole thing off as no big deal but it's slowly been filling me day by day. Recently I decided not to fight it
Perhaps if you decide to confront your lingering feelings for her, you can move on sooner. Speaking from experience, it took me a few years to heal from a guy whom I secretly liked. I always push the thoughts of him to the back of my mind, but it was slowly killing me. I confided in a number of people, telling them of my feelings. As a final step, I sent a letter detailing him of my struggles. His reply was very kind and understanding.

I still remember him now, I haven't completely forgotten about him. I suppose you can never forget about your crush completely. They will be part of us now and forever.

Edit: If you can make magic happen, then that's great for you.
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Old 2012-08-09, 04:11   Link #10609
MUAHAHAHAHAHA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hasumi View Post
I'll move on, but only after I know for a fact that I can't make any magic happen...at that point I have to give up being 'Batman'.
Yup, once you have done everything in your power and the outcome is still not what you wish for, you can try to move on without regret.
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Old 2012-08-11, 08:47   Link #10610
Tigress
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: The Abyss
Age: 24
Update on my situation. I am not upset about this. I am quite contented. ^.^

So all in all it didn't work out. But I do believe that it has worked out far better than if I had said no in the first place. The kissing and cuddling stuff was all aok but anytime it got a little further than that we would both just start giggling. It was too awkward and we agreed to put it down to an experience and go back to how we were as friends and he said he is glad we did try it.

I have not lost a friend at all. It's a relief really and tbh I decided to give it a go since I would probably regret not giving him a chance. He thought that since we got on so well and he also found me physically attractive that it would be enough. It is my opinion that we may get along TOO well. We are more like family than someone that could be lovers.

I would have hated it to have come between us. Had we become lovers and then split, it would have been much rather to return to friend status. That is why we took it slowly since there was far to much to loose.

We have talked and we have laughed about it all. End of a chapter. ^.^
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Old 2012-08-11, 10:32   Link #10611
NorthernFallout
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Good thing you remained friends, from what I've heard that's quite rare after something like that. A good experience to walk way from, as you say. Good thing it ended well for both of you as well.
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Old 2012-08-11, 10:42   Link #10612
Tigress
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Life's too short ^.^

Yes i would be inclined to say the same if we had gone to the next level. It was never a serious thing to begin with since we put ourselves on trial you could say. I think if it was left to him we would have rushed into something more but I was more careful because of my inital doubts. We talked for hours about it all beforhand and we talked for hours when it ended. I think our situation was quite rare to begin with. We've been friends since we were 13 or 14 and did a lot together. Lots of people think that a relationship like that is cute and should work out romantically and well this did not. ^.^
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Old 2012-08-11, 12:09   Link #10613
csuree
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it is good that you all went back to the pleasant situation that was before. i'm happy that it did not turn out awkward or anything beyond(yeah boys tend to rush things).

indeed in most of the cases the "osananajimi" pairs tend to work out but that is not 100%.....
about how you tell things i really think that in mind you are more mature than biologically. Composed, calm, firm i hope you will find a suitable guy.

one more question....i hope the laughing it off part wasn't the type like in animes, with the weird smile? because sometimes people get this tingling feeling when they nervously deny something that it is their real desire.

i know some of these situations....my high school crush coupled up with my friend and he apologized to me saying that he hopes that this won't bring me down... and i nervously laughed it off saying it is nothing...but in reality.....i better not tell this... those who read some of my post can guess how was i until graduation...

so Tigress chin up, chest out (not in the H way - i know you'd give me a look like this ) i can only say it, there are some real good guys out there and the one meant for you might be just on its way to meet you.


ohh i almost forgot...i also came here for some advice, or more like suggestion.:
can you give me advice on how to get friends? you just talk to people and hang out with them and eventually it will be a stronger bond or is it a more specific process....
i know i know i should think less about stuff like these, but honestly i never made as in "i made a friend", i just drifted along a group that seemed to be my type.....is that odd? my opinion is that it is.

i came to this after a little self- analysis and i kinda found that i might not be able to hook up girls cause i'm socially "inept", and i deduced that it is because recently i am not part of any friend group to hang out and socialize....

and yeah i said that i went out in town to try myself out but walking alone in a park full of groups of people having fun, laughing made me feel lonely, but i couldn't come up with any way to make friends.....makes me wonder a bit more about how bad i am........ but i said i won't bring myself down and keep my spirit up, but also i'd like a little help

thank you in advance.
i will be home this week-end..... i wanted to go stargazing to the nearby hills but it became cloudy.....
Wow...i just realized.....i don't really know how many times i planned out something and it went anything but what i had planned....
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Old 2012-08-11, 12:34   Link #10614
Ledgem
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Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
can you give me advice on how to get friends? you just talk to people and hang out with them and eventually it will be a stronger bond or is it a more specific process....
That's basically all that it is. It can be difficult for people who like to spend a lot of time to themselves. Friendships also alter when you start dating (with some exceptions).

For example, there was one guy who was very persistent about spending time with me. He would always be the one to come by my apartment, to message me, and to call me. It's not that I didn't like him, but if it had been left up to me, we probably never would have become friends. However, because of his persistence, he became a part of my group of friends.

I did something similar in building up a group of friends. There were some guys who I got along with pretty well, but we were little more than acquaintances. I began calling them often to have lunch or dinner together, and then it became a regular thing for all of us. You spend time with people, you get to know them, they get to know you, and you can go farther from there.

I encountered problems when I began dating, though. My friends were used to spending a lot of time together, but I had to split my time between them and my girlfriend. As a result, I was increasingly left out of their activities. I was able to maintain my friendship with another friend who was also dating, however, as we could do things together while bringing out girlfriends along, and our expectations regarding time commitment (as well as the general directions of our lives) were similar. The transition doesn't always have to be so rough, it's just a matter of friends' expectations and activities.

I will admit that at this point - being very busy, and being married to a woman who I want to spend nearly all of my free time with - I don't have many strong friendships. I don't do things with people outside of my work, and as such I haven't had the opportunity to form stronger bonds. If I were single I'd probably try to reach out to people a bit more.

How do you find friends as a professional? Co-workers and interest groups (hobbyist clubs) seem like a good place to start.
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Old 2012-08-11, 13:04   Link #10615
MUAHAHAHAHAHA
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: hahahahahahahahaha
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post

ohh i almost forgot...i also came here for some advice, or more like suggestion.:
can you give me advice on how to get friends? you just talk to people and hang out with them and eventually it will be a stronger bond or is it a more specific process....
Yes, just talk. Do not try too hard. Be casual. Also, do not try hard to please or impress your new friends. If you are trying to be someone you are not, your guise will be seen and they won't be mightily impressed with that. Don't care too much about their judgement, because once you are nervous, your body language will show when you are interacting. To start a conversation, just make small talks, perhaps about the weather.

If you have a particular hobby, you might consider joining a society. For instance, if you like photography, and you join the local society, it will be easier to make friends since you have similar interest and starting a conversation should not be hard or awkward.

Oh, a smile will always do the trick
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Old 2012-08-11, 13:38   Link #10616
Tigress
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Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
it is good that you all went back to the pleasant situation that was before. i'm happy that it did not turn out awkward or anything beyond(yeah boys tend to rush things).

indeed in most of the cases the "osananajimi" pairs tend to work out but that is not 100%.....
about how you tell things i really think that in mind you are more mature than biologically. Composed, calm, firm i hope you will find a suitable guy.

one more question....i hope the laughing it off part wasn't the type like in animes, with the weird smile? because sometimes people get this tingling feeling when they nervously deny something that it is their real desire.

i know some of these situations....my high school crush coupled up with my friend and he apologized to me saying that he hopes that this won't bring me down... and i nervously laughed it off saying it is nothing...but in reality.....i better not tell this... those who read some of my post can guess how was i until graduation...

so Tigress chin up, chest out (not in the H way - i know you'd give me a look like this ) i can only say it, there are some real good guys out there and the one meant for you might be just on its way to meet you.

Heee, of course not. Laughing it off was due to the conversation we had. In the middle of a normal evening: "Do you think this being together as more than friends is working out?" and he said "Well I am not sure what I expected BUT..." Those are not the exact words, it was a lot more casual. I agreed with what he had to say and then we went on to make fun of the situation. The awkward moments got snickered at. It is all cool. Don't worry. ^.^

Sometimes I think that I am incredibly immature, so thank you. I believe that there is one person out there for all of us. ^.^ If i thought he was the ONE and i thought it could really work i would not let him go like that. I am a hopeless romantic.
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Old 2012-08-11, 14:43   Link #10617
csuree
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"I am a hopeless romantic."

it is not just you....i had that comment at my last workplace.....

idk.... i may be old fashioned but a colleague said to me that i should have been born in the late 19th century for i would have been the dream guy of any girl back then..

i must say it really made me happy, but also to be like that in the 21st century is a bit embarrassing.

i am the kind of guy who would not just pick up girls....i am kind of like an explorer on a new continent. i want to know the girl better to understand her, to be able to talk to her. i have a great respect for women, i always try my best not to be rude to them. and i ususally do't judge them by what others say

by the way, i will tell the story of my almost girlfriend. 1.5 years ago, there was a girl who was said to be the "slut" of the factory. actually i have no idea about this, but one day she was doing something that had a great resemblance to how a cook handles cookies, and i made a funny remark about it, she was only a stranger then but i took a liking to her, and made that small comment. after that i still don't know how ended up talking more and more frequently, by the time a month passed by we reached to trust each other (who wouldn't trust an honest innocent boy like me ), our encounters got to the poit when she came to my workstation she often went a bit physical , meaning she sat so close we felt each other, she put her thighs over mine, and stuff that lovers do (cuddling up i mean there was nowhre a kiss ).
i was at a loss a bit, i never went to such levels with anyone and bammmm now ....it was something new... i did not want to spoil it so i did not say anything about it....i liked it too.....we talked a lot but only at work... i tried to call her out to dates but she was always busy. but at work things were the same. after some time i heard from her about the slut stuff....and how others are jealous of her. i pushed her a bit to become my girl, (no it wasn't too fast ....2 months have passed since first encounter) but she did not say anything.... after a while she was moved to another shift by HER request.....
i was a bit angry and upset so i kinda like avoided her. after a few weeks she came to me...to ask about me being angry at her and that kind.....

now pay attention this is where i think i screwed up: "No i am not angry at you or anything i was just busy with my work" - the truth was the opposite.
"really?"
"yeah really."

don't ever make this mistake.....tell her in a mannered mode that you are a bit upset. don't hide it.

and we kinda like went back to talking and all but this time i kept a bit my distance and always avoided getting physical... she was just toying with me cuz she saw the good in me.
reason: with other guys she went out to party and all but for me there was no time...

this is the reason why i think i've become a bit hostile to pretty and bedazzling girls. i try to avoid them, to not take advantage of my personality....honestly i was so shaken up by this... i thought that after years of unsuccessful attempts i will find happiness... but i was just a toy.
so i have reservations when talking to girls......i learned that even with the looks of an angel they can be as bad as the devil. although she was a 6.8 on a 10 scale so i did not went for a supermodel... i went for the cute girl...

my bad....but i had it similar with male friends of mine who used me and my kindness, so it was jus another failure of mine to live in this shitty world.....

honestly where are the virtues of the past? honesty, justice honor, kindness? they went extinct after the two world wars?

so as my colleague said it i should have been born 100-150 years earlier. but i still have my hopes up that i will find in this" rotten field a flower that blooms", even if all else near her is getting tainted, i hope i will find a kind-hearted girl who is honest , lovable and sees the world in pink like i do many times...

all is not lost....until there is 1 man fighting for the virtues of the past, nothing is forgotten,


PS: when i get down, a bit i bring my spirit up with this song: "INNA - Sun is Up" very good song, search it it might cheer you up a bit....to me it give an energy dose.
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Last edited by csuree; 2012-08-11 at 14:54.
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Old 2012-08-11, 15:46   Link #10618
Ledgem
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Join Date: Mar 2003
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Age: 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
and we kinda like went back to talking and all but this time i kept a bit my distance and always avoided getting physical... she was just toying with me cuz she saw the good in me.
reason: with other guys she went out to party and all but for me there was no time...
Who says she was "toying" with you? Maybe she liked you as a friend but didn't want to go any farther than that. You always have to respect that a girl might not be attracted to you. It doesn't mean that you're an unattractive person or that you'll never be able to date anyone, it just means that the chemistry wasn't working out for that particular girl. You shouldn't be surprised if that happens often, either. Just keep trying to improve yourself and your techniques, and keep trying in general.
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Old 2012-08-11, 16:31   Link #10619
Tigress
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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Age: 24
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Originally Posted by csuree View Post
"I am a hopeless romantic."

it is not just you....i had that comment at my last workplace.....

idk.... i may be old fashioned but a colleague said to me that i should have been born in the late 19th century for i would have been the dream guy of any girl back then..

i must say it really made me happy, but also to be like that in the 21st century is a bit embarrassing.

i am the kind of guy who would not just pick up girls....i am kind of like an explorer on a new continent. i want to know the girl better to understand her, to be able to talk to her. i have a great respect for women, i always try my best not to be rude to them. and i ususally do't judge them by what others say.
I don't think that you should be embarrassed about that. There are lots of girls out there who go for guys who want to know them on a real level first. There is just more of the other type. There are lots of the bad girls who like the sex without commitment and discard the boy when done. It works on both sides because of how society is tuned and how people are expected to act. It is embarrassing to tell someone you are a virgin in today's society too and that should be a personal choice not forced.

Some people tell me I would make the perfect wifey. I don't care maybe it's a compliment in its own right although meant as an insult. Everyone goes through a period of what you are going through. ^.^

Oh and bolded part. You will find someone. The right kind of person is rare for everyone but you will know when you find her. I wish you so much luck in finding a suitable partner. I think you have a big heart and it will happen. ^.^
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Old 2012-08-11, 16:45   Link #10620
NorthernFallout
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Join Date: May 2008
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While I surely don't have as much experience as other posters, this does sound like a symptom of "Nice Guy" syndrome, which I'm quite familiar with myself, in that you might put women "on a pedestal". Though in this case it might be that your values clash with theirs, which isn't unusual. Perhaps you are looking in the wrong places because while there is a girl out there that would respond well to that, they might not be in the place you're looking.

And hey, at least you have the courage to initiate conversation and act upon your words. I might be able to keep a convo going for a start, but I've never approached anyone in a conventional manner. I'm an extremely good listener, but an extremely bad conversationalist with people I've just met due to shyness and hefted tongue.
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