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Old 2012-08-22, 04:21   Link #10701
csuree
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I came back only for one comment.....
because i saw that apparently no one reacted to Tigress' post and it seems like by your ignorance you are approving her feelings of resentment towards guys from this thread.

i think on the behalf of the people here i have to apologise, and also to scold you a bit Tigress.

1) the comment on how some of you view the life of a woman is quite old-fashioned and chauvinist. even if she gets older she is not obliged to live her life like society dictates. we live in a free world where girls have the same rights as us.

2) Tigress you shouldn't get too worked up on this matter, everyone has different views about it, but don't take it to heart, like hell you have 8 years to live like you want. the whole life is yours to decide. So don't leave because of some other people's opinions. you know what they say about opinions?
They are like the hole on our a$$. Everyone has one, but no one is interested in the other's.

so, don't leave us like that....
and guys......proper apology.....or at least comment on it....

this might be a "Dating" thread, but it is also about relationship between the genders. and it looks like the relationship between genders has gone a bit sour.

so, farewell, i'll be back when i settle some important personality problems and become truly happy with myself.

and no hard feelings from any side okay?

be good...smile.....because a smile is only an upside-down frown. :-(-:
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Old 2012-08-22, 20:11   Link #10702
Ledgem
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DonQuigleone View Post
It makes such a lifestyle tolerable. Without these various entertainments, it would be difficult to tolerate singlehood for such long extended periods.
Interesting theory. I don't know that I agree with it, but I can't outright disagree with it, either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
because i saw that apparently no one reacted to Tigress' post and it seems like by your ignorance you are approving her feelings of resentment towards guys from this thread.
I think she misunderstood what was being said. It's not uncommon over the internet, and even in life: we perceive things based on what's going on around us. If people have been hassling Tigress about settling down and starting a family in her own life (as an example), she could easily have interpreted posts here as saying the same thing. But I'm largely replying because I wanted to fix this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
you know what they say about opinions?
They are like the hole on our a$$. Everyone has one, but no one is interested in the other's.
It's "opinions are like ass holes - everyone has one, and they all stink."
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Old 2012-08-22, 21:56   Link #10703
Tigress
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No one has been hassling me in my real life. I am too young for that yet I think. My mother even agrees with me. The problem I had with Don was him jumping all over the fact I said that I feel it is time enough waiting til 30 to have kids when my life is settled and I have a job and money and a career, hopefully! I don't see 30 as being old and my real life female friends range from 18-35 from a tennis club that I am involved in. One of the 32 year olds in our group I would kill to look like her, so I resent someone saying a woman of that age is old and decrepid. Men age the same as women and some look better than others. Just cuz men can have babies til they die doesn't mean their swimmers don't become defective if it goes by that. A 32 year old man to me can look old too because 10 years is way too much for me. The good looking ones keep their looks, but the rest of them are not going to get the younger ones. I wouldn't want to date one too much older. I like to stay within a few years of my own age.

I think it is bigotted and sexist and to say that a woman must marry in her 20s it just well it made me mad. If I never have kids I wont care. I will not settle for someone because of a ticking biological clock when its not even a real issue. If I meet someone special between now and then well thats another story. Of all the older women in their 30s that have babies that I know none of them have birth defects so the statistics I am not going to listen to. I agree that when a woman gets into her late 30's that she is taking some risks. There is a massive difference between a 28-35 year old and a 38-45 year old.

I probably shouldnt have been posting my opinions here anyway since I dont have much experience on life. I am usually a bit of a lurker, so I will bow out.
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Old 2012-08-22, 22:15   Link #10704
Ledgem
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Originally Posted by Tigress View Post
Of all the older women in their 30s that have babies that I know none of them have birth defects so the statistics I am not going to listen to.
I like you, Tigress, and the following rant isn't directed at you personally, but this type of reasoning drives me crazy. It's similar to the people who claim "this winter and summer were cooler than ever where I live; therefore global warming is a lie." Statistics and data are what they are. You're comparing a pool of what I would guess is less than 20 individuals in a single community to data collected from tens of thousands of people across the country, if not hundreds of thousands. If you disagree with the interpretation of the data, fine; if you disagree with the methodology used to collect the data, that's fine, too. But how do people just dismiss it outright like that? Are they just ignoring reality when it doesn't fit their desired view of the world?

Granted, the entire reason why I brought the data up in the first place was over this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigress View Post
I think when I am in my mid 30s I will want to settle down and have children and do normal family stuff. If it happens before then that is fine too but I think the pressures on women is unrealistic.
Just an explanation for part of the reason why there's pressure and expectations, at least from the biological stance. But your focus seems to be that the pressure is on women to have children early simply for the sake of having children, because it's a "woman's duty" and other such outdated concepts. I would agree with your thoughts there.
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Old 2012-08-22, 22:30   Link #10705
Tigress
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Yeah, but why should I care? They are statistics. That's like saying 1 out of every 3 people will get cancer at some point in their lives. Am I going to worry about these statistics? No. I am not going to live my life by statistics. I am going to live my life as it plays out. If something happens to me, it was meant to be. That's how I see it.

Sure I said that but yeah I was taking a stab at the whole by the time your 30 you must have babies. I want to a least enjoy SOME of my young life before then. I haven't even seen any of the world. That won't happen if I hurry off to have kids when I finish college in a few years. My mother regrets that aspect of her life. She had my older siblings when she was my age. Only now she is able to go on vacations because she has a little money to do that. I am the only one left at home and the others flew the nest. I work a crap job to try and pay some of my expenses for college to make it easier on my parents. Its why i want a career first. My mom never got hers off the ground. She ended up taking care of us and never got the job she wanted and was trained for.
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Old 2012-08-22, 22:55   Link #10706
Ledgem
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Originally Posted by Tigress View Post
Yeah, but why should I care?
I'm not going to tell you why you should care - it's your life.

What I will offer is that the prospect of a child with birth or developmental defects is serious to me and to my wife, and hence we're going to try to plan to have them before she hits that high-risk period. A child with those types of problems will require more attention and care, and they're handicapped (literally) when it comes to competing with the rest of society. Nobody wants that for their child; everyone wants to give them the best shot at a wonderful life that they can. (And on that note, you're right to not rush into a relationship, because broken or dysfunctional family units hurt children as well.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigress View Post
They are statistics. That's like saying 1 out of every 3 people will get cancer at some point in their lives. Am I going to worry about these statistics? No. I am not going to live my life by statistics.
A better comparison is "people who smoke have a significantly greater risk of developing lung cancer and other complications than people who do not smoke," or "eating a diet largely comprised of red meat puts you at greater risk of developing heart disease." Do you need to live your life by it? No. You're free to eat hamburgers and steak for every meal of every day, all while smoking as much as you want, of course. I think that sort of information helps people to make informed decisions, though. They're free to take the risks and play the odds. Knowing that sort of information, perhaps they'll decide that smoking isn't worth it; perhaps they'll decide to eat chicken or fish daily, leaving red meat as a special once-a-week dish. The way I see it, people are free to put themselves at risk - I just don't want people to be unknowingly putting themselves at risk, particularly when they would have chosen not to take the risk if they had been informed.

Mind you, that doesn't translate over to when you, Tigress, should have children at this particular moment. Your life hasn't stabilized in terms of career and location, you're still freely dating, and there are things you want to do. Even if you decided that you wanted to have a child right now, you couldn't (or I suppose you could... but it wouldn't be a good idea). However, in a few short years you might find yourself settled down and married (you never know - life is interesting like that), and when you and your husband are in the process of family planning, that's when the statistics regarding birth defects will be relevant.
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Old 2012-08-23, 00:16   Link #10707
Usami_Haru
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It is true that you get less fertile when you reach thirty but the differeance is minimal. Its not until after 35 that the fertility rate really begin to drop and genetic defects becomes an issue.
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Old 2012-08-23, 06:37   Link #10708
DonQuigleone
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Originally Posted by MakubeX2 View Post
It makes no dense based on your previous argument. True apathy would dictate that one spend a couple of thousand yen on porn or game that one can watch or play over and over. A visit to a club for just an hour can easily cost ten times more. So why bother ?
A lot of people aren't nearly as satisfied by 2d women flirting with them, as by 3d women flirting with you.

A hostess (or host) is just like being able to buy yourself a girlfriend (or boyfriend) for the night, without having to go through all that difficulty that goes along with dating, and them having "independent opinions".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigress View Post
No one has been hassling me in my real life. I am too young for that yet I think. My mother even agrees with me. The problem I had with Don was him jumping all over the fact I said that I feel it is time enough waiting til 30 to have kids when my life is settled and I have a job and money and a career, hopefully! I don't see 30 as being old and my real life female friends range from 18-35 from a tennis club that I am involved in. One of the 32 year olds in our group I would kill to look like her, so I resent someone saying a woman of that age is old and decrepid. Men age the same as women and some look better than others. Just cuz men can have babies til they die doesn't mean their swimmers don't become defective if it goes by that. A 32 year old man to me can look old too because 10 years is way too much for me. The good looking ones keep their looks, but the rest of them are not going to get the younger ones. I wouldn't want to date one too much older. I like to stay within a few years of my own age.
Perhaps I mistated. A few points:
1. I don't think when you choose to marry or procreate is a moral point. It's a personal choice. No one is worse for wanting to wait.
2. 30 year old women are not "old and decrepit", but on the flip side, no young man my age would ever date one. On the reverse, it's quite common for girls my age to date 30 year old men.
3. In our culture, being an old man does not make you particularly unattractive, but being an old woman (45+) does. I don't think this is right, but I don't run all the magazines and movie studios.
4. It is much more difficult for women to date as they get older compared to when they were younger. Any 30 year old woman would tell you this. At 20 men there are many men chasing every woman. At 30, it's the reverse. This is a quirk of population numbers (young men seem to be very good at getting themselves killed...), and also a quirk of the fact that by far the dominant pattern is older man dating younger woman. This article explain it well.
5. Furthermore, "marriageable" people (people with good stable personalities, who want to get married and have kids) are more likely to be married earlier. As you get older, more and more of the dating pool will consist of people who are not necessarily interested in getting married and having kids, maybe because it's not their thing, perhaps they already had kids from a previous relationship, and aren't keen on more.
6. Taken together, it becomes more difficult for a woman to have children as she gets older, simply because it's more difficult for her to find a good partner. However, if you're 30, and you have a good stable partner, I wouldn't be too worried. But if you're single and in your 30s (and particularly if you're older) it does get harder...

So if you do want to get married and have kids, I wouldn't be too complacent about it. I also wouldn't start panicking either, just don't take things for granted. Also, Ledgem and Usami-Haru are correct, in that infertility and defects do go up, particularly after 35. You can read a lot of sad stories about women who try for years to get a baby and fail. Childbearing is a wonderful thing, it would be a shame to miss out on it because you left it too long (as a man I do to an extent envy women, though I don't feel bad about not having to go through labour...)
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Old 2012-08-23, 06:42   Link #10709
csuree
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about statistics i have the opinion that it is meant to those who actually will use them...
as for us more or less normal people, it is only a hindrance which actually causes you to make mistakes.

i speak first hand of statistics, not that they are not true or anything.
i accept that above a certain age there is a real chance that you get more birth defects but actually that is influenced by so many factors ..... and anyway if someone lives in a less stressful, and cleaner environment they push that borderline further. and anyhow those birth defect are more or less caused by things like mutations, diseases, chemical poisoning, etc....and all these affect our body on DNA level.
and if it were to statistics.....i wouldn't even live..... when i was born my mother had a very long and difficult labor, around 20 hours, and the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck.now imagine that 24 years ago in an underdeveloped east-european country my chances of survival were less than 5%. But i'm here.
and the other statistic that young people who have their drivers license 1 out of 3 have a serious accident. that very much depends on how you drive.. if you drive reckless then it is true.... but in 5 years and 12000 kms later i did not suffer any accident.....

statistics are there to create an order like appearance in our chaotic world that it is actually a full chaos....

it is like perception.....if i would throw a handful of sand on the floor it would take on many shapes that my mind relates too, but everything is just chaos......it is the same with the "face" picture on mars....it was only caused by an error in human perception..

anyhow back to our topic.....Tigress live your life like you want to....i like your spirit.....kinda resembles me, in serious mode, when i can even prove that impossible is nothing(many times i proved wrong people who said to me that this can't be done or you are unable to achieve it).
the social preconceptions are many times wrong......why should we live by them?... i don't see a reasonable explanation....if we were to live by them....would you think we had this forum....or anime, manga and the rest of the things we love?

but using more easier words... throw the social prejudice and preconceptions out of the window... nothing matters when you are truly happy, that is what i believe......

and i just had a very pleasant colleague to advice me about dating.. so i'm back on track boyz, and girlz.....
he came up with a good idea for me.....he said if you play any game think back when you seriously and happily race or fight through a mission..... and using that feeling approach anyone with a smile.....
and i truly know this feeling as i play need for speed world, last week they added my all time favorite car, which i will buy, hopefully next year, (Lexus IS300, 2001) and i am so happy that i can race with it, that i beat cars that are much more faster than me. And using this feeling i kinda opened up again to society. i started talking to people and all, i feel like i missed so much, but that doesn't matter, as i will dive into life, 100%, i will make new friends and then i will get a cute girlfriend.

i hope all of you will get this kind of inspiration, i did, and make the most out of it.... life has so much more to offer. let's make the most out of it, as now comes to my mind a song from Nickelback - If today was your last day..... and a specific verse says "what's worth the prize, is always worth the fight"

get your inspiration and whoosh......

i will write later..... take care....
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Old 2012-08-23, 07:57   Link #10710
MakubeX2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DonQuigleone View Post
A lot of people aren't nearly as satisfied by 2d women flirting with them, as by 3d women flirting with you.

A hostess (or host) is just like being able to buy yourself a girlfriend (or boyfriend) for the night, without having to go through all that difficulty that goes along with dating, and them having "independent opinions".
This doesn't strike me as being "apathetic" now. What you had just said only emphasis that people still desire interactions with someone in the flesh and blood instead of just a digital substitute. And the business of hosting is huge in Japan.

A point to note is that each host has to maintain personal fan club of returning customers just so he can meet his monthly quota. It is not uncommon to hear some rich customers showering gifts on a host just to keep the company. Not the textbook example of apathy now, is it ?
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Old 2012-08-23, 09:36   Link #10711
DonQuigleone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MakubeX2 View Post
This doesn't strike me as being "apathetic" now. What you had just said only emphasis that people still desire interactions with someone in the flesh and blood instead of just a digital substitute. And the business of hosting is huge in Japan.

A point to note is that each host has to maintain personal fan club of returning customers just so he can meet his monthly quota. It is not uncommon to hear some rich customers showering gifts on a host just to keep the company. Not the textbook example of apathy now, is it ?
It's an apathy towards "real" long term sexual relationships with the opposite sex (IE dating and marriage). It's not an apathy towards relationships in general (which is quite impossible).

The desperate woman who showers gifts on her host is no different from the Otaku desperately clinging to his body pillow.

But both people can attain a certain apathy towards the idea of looking for a real functional relationship because of their chosen substitutes. And what I think is particularly damaging for both is that it transforms a loving relationship into a simple commodity, to be bought and sold, and ultimately to be thrown away when you're bored(this is particularly true of host(ess) bar regulars). But, both are trying to fill an emptiness in their lives, and their ability to fill it with these entertainments mean they never push their lives forward in a way that would give them what they're deep down looking for.

The closest analogy is the alcoholic(or similiarly a drug addict) who drowns himself so that he doesn't have to think about life's problems. The alcohol allows himself to be apathetic, because when you're drunk, you don't have to think.

Now if you want to be single, that's okay, but if you don't want to be single, using a commodity as a substitute for love is a bit...
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Old 2012-08-23, 19:23   Link #10712
Ledgem
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Originally Posted by csuree View Post
about statistics i have the opinion that it is meant to those who actually will use them...
as for us more or less normal people, it is only a hindrance which actually causes you to make mistakes.
A hindrance? Causes people to make mistakes? How so?

Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
i accept that above a certain age there is a real chance that you get more birth defects but actually that is influenced by so many factors ..... and anyway if someone lives in a less stressful, and cleaner environment they push that borderline further. and anyhow those birth defect are more or less caused by things like mutations, diseases, chemical poisoning, etc....and all these affect our body on DNA level.
You're correct, but it's worth noting that the mutations (which occur naturally and are furthered by toxic exposure and diseases) accumulate over time. This is the biological explanation for why the risk of birth defects increases with the age of the parents. While the focus has largely been on women thus far, present research indicates that men aren't immune, either - although the birth defects resulting from an older father aren't quite as striking or readily apparent as with an older mother.

Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
and if it were to statistics.....i wouldn't even live..... when i was born my mother had a very long and difficult labor, around 20 hours, and the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck.now imagine that 24 years ago in an underdeveloped east-european country my chances of survival were less than 5%. But i'm here.
You're here because the percentage was 5% or less, but not zero. What the statistics mean is that 95% of others like you didn't make it. That doesn't mean anything about statistics, it just means you were lucky.
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Old 2012-08-25, 04:54   Link #10713
Kimidori
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about birth defect risk, my mother gave birth to me in her late 30s and i did have birth defect (it inguinal hernia and i needed a hernia repair surgery)
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Old 2012-08-25, 06:38   Link #10714
zebra
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Late for the party :)'

Regarding statistics:
The sexual height of a female is at 30, that of a male is 20.
*flies away*



.
.
.
*comes back*
I undersand why you guys keep on bringing up these statistics and it will matter once one starts on planning to have children - but doing it in reverse and planning children based on statistics alone would a bad idea though.
Funnily enough, everyone agrees: Mutations matter. It's a personal decision.
But you stand on an opposite angles.

Rationality is all fine, but love isn't something rational. It's like saying a guy has to find a girlfriend until he's 25 or the best years of his sexuality will be wasted. No matter the circumstances.

It's blunt and insensitive, nothing else.
So I totally understand Tigress' reaction :P
Women have a very emotional relationship to their sexuality and uterus, please don't forget that.


@regarding porn,
an effect of the easy access to porn, you can notice in the western world as well is the mimicking of porn.
I don'tmean like "oh let's try that position", I mean that many teens that examined a lot of pornos before they gathered their own experiences aren't able to explore their sexuality naturally. They don't want to do something wrong and the pros gotta know what they're doing, right?
Wrong. They might be good at porn, but sex isn't porn. You don't do a, b and c and then you're done. It's all about enjoying one another and oneself. Exploring what your partner likes and what you like.
Porn changed the perception of many, which isn't always a good thing.

I personally believe the problem with Japan is a society problem. The amount of porn seems to fill a void and is a sympton not a cause imo.
Look at the USA for example: most prominent for being prude and christian and yet #1 in producing porn worldwide.

There will always be porn, humans masturbate and it's only natural. Porn is a comfortable way to satisfy your needs, but it's not a substitute for real realtionships and real sex. Fantasy and reality aren't the same thing.

Another thing:
I find the subculture of being obsessed (!) with 2D women or having realtionships with puppets (only saw it in TV a few days ago), quite alarming.
You don't get anything back. It seems like one just wants a substitute for comfort that isn't able to talk back or hurt oneself. It's all a-okay if it' just fun and games - there are as many fetishes as there are humans after all-, but if it becomes an unnaturel obsession I'd look for a therapist if it were me. Just in case

(I only flew over the last pages with my eyes sorry if I missed anything important)
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Old 2012-08-25, 13:55   Link #10715
Ledgem
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Originally Posted by zebra View Post
I undersand why you guys keep on bringing up these statistics and it will matter once one starts on planning to have children - but doing it in reverse and planning children based on statistics alone would a bad idea though.
Funnily enough, everyone agrees: Mutations matter. It's a personal decision.
But you stand on an opposite angles.
From what I've seen and have written, nobody is arguing that statistics should come first or dictate how a person lives their life. What I have been arguing against is this apparent desire to completely disregard the statistical data that is available.

Quote:
Originally Posted by zebra View Post
@regarding porn,
an effect of the easy access to porn, you can notice in the western world as well is the mimicking of porn.
I don'tmean like "oh let's try that position", I mean that many teens that examined a lot of pornos before they gathered their own experiences aren't able to explore their sexuality naturally. They don't want to do something wrong and the pros gotta know what they're doing, right?
Wrong. They might be good at porn, but sex isn't porn. You don't do a, b and c and then you're done. It's all about enjoying one another and oneself. Exploring what your partner likes and what you like.
Porn changed the perception of many, which isn't always a good thing.
I don't know that this is a fair statement to make. Views on sex in general have been changing within society, and I wouldn't put it all (or even mostly) on porn. One indicator of this is in love songs. Compare songs from the 1960's through around the 1980's to songs from the 1990's, and then to songs from the 2000's. Sex was featured in some of those older songs, but it featured prominently among other forms of romancing and love. Songs like those still exist today (I think, anyway), but the sex featured in modern lyrics is much more blatant and crude.
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Old 2012-08-28, 21:37   Link #10716
Tigress
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Well when people keep shoving statistics in someones face, what are we supposed to think. Its pretty easy for men to come along and push that stuff onto women but this is our lives we are discussing.

A very close friend of mine got dumped by her fiance a few months back because he found someone else. She is 28. I wont say too much about that because she is an anime fan too. Never know who is reading. Should she now worry about statistics or worry about the state of her mental health? She doesnt think she can ever love or trust anyone again but time will heal. Time. She has time. I am lucky to have such a wonderful friend and she deserves better anyway. I find it annoying is all that we are baby making machines that must perform asap.

I dont dislike you either Ledgem. ^.^ I just cant accept someone telling me that I must regard statistics that at the end of the day matter little to how my life is going to work out. I could meet someone next month that will eventually be my husband but thats not the point.

Are you going to tell a 28-35 year old woman that may be reading this that her biological clock is ticking and she better have had babies already or be in a relationship where babies will be made? Can you see how condescending that is?
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Old 2012-08-28, 22:03   Link #10717
Ascaloth
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Originally Posted by Tigress View Post
I dont dislike you either Ledgem. ^.^ I just cant accept someone telling me that I must regard statistics that at the end of the day matter little to how my life is going to work out. I could meet someone next month that will eventually be my husband but thats not the point.

Are you going to tell a 28-35 year old woman that may be reading this that her biological clock is ticking and she better have had babies already or be in a relationship where babies will be made? Can you see how condescending that is?
I don't think that's what Ledgem is arguing, frankly. I'm pretty sure he's just saying that the statistics should not be totally disregarded when considering options.

That's the way scientists like him are; they're so focused on the data, they tend not to be the most politic of people. Don't blame him for it.
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Old 2012-08-28, 22:24   Link #10718
LeoXiao
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigress View Post
Are you going to tell a 28-35 year old woman that may be reading this that her biological clock is ticking and she better have had babies already or be in a relationship where babies will be made? Can you see how condescending that is?
Well, yeah, if you want to have kids it's probably a better idea to have them earlier. Of course there are exceptions but generally it's good to take these sorts of things into consideration. Also it's a little weird to have a really old mom; the next generation's children may very well end up without knowing their grandparents.
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Old 2012-08-28, 22:28   Link #10719
Ledgem
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 29
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Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
That's the way scientists like him are; they're so focused on the data, they tend not to be the most politic of people. Don't blame him for it.
Um, thanks... I think... :\

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Originally Posted by Tigress View Post
Well when people keep shoving statistics in someones face, what are we supposed to think. Its pretty easy for men to come along and push that stuff onto women but this is our lives we are discussing.
The statistics apply to men, too. The numbers are just the numbers that indicate trends; they don't dictate anything. I apologize if you felt that I was using them to try and dictate anything about your life; I don't think that I wrote anything like that, and if you interpreted anything that I wrote as such, please realize that it wasn't the intent.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's situation, by the way - that must be very difficult. I hope she'll still be able to place trust in future relationships.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigress View Post
Are you going to tell a 28-35 year old woman that may be reading this that her biological clock is ticking and she better have had babies already or be in a relationship where babies will be made? Can you see how condescending that is?
Why would I tell a woman of any age anything like that?

If anyone ever comes to me and says "doctor, I'm 35 and I'm trying to get pregnant... what should I know?" then of course they're going to hear that they're at an age where they're at greater risk for birth defects and birthing complications. I'm fairly certain that I would be sued to hell and back ten times (God Bless America and our court systems) if I didn't provide that information, and then someone who consulted me went and experienced problems with the pregnancy, birth, or their child.

Does it mean that they shouldn't have a child? No, of course not. It simply means that they should take extra precautions while pregnant, ensure that they're taking all of the necessary vitamins, and probably go for more ultrasounds and diagnostic tests than a younger woman might need to in order to ensure that the baby is OK. (Those are my guesses; I'm sure there are standard protools for this, but if I have my way, I won't end up in OB/GYN and won't have to make this a part of my every-day life.) That is how you use statistics - to make informed decisions for the best possible outcome. If a person wants to live their life by the numbers, that's their choice; but the numbers themselves don't ask or mandate that anyone does so.
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Old 2012-08-29, 05:08   Link #10720
DonQuigleone
Knight Errant
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 26
Something else to bear in mind, we're not saying you have to get out there making babies right now, as your times running out.

What we're saying is that you don't have forever. Ultimately, we all grow old and die. If we put certain things off for too long, we may be too old to do them any more.

If you wish to have kids eventually (and you may or may not), you should keep in mind that you don't have forever. A lot of other people think they have forever to do these things, and then they wake up and try do it and realise that they waited too long.

This applies to everything actually, not just "baby-making". We're all going to die eventually, don't settle into a place you don't want to be. If you want to do something, you have to reach for it now. Not keep putting it off indefinitely.

If you want to live a year in an asia, start planning for it, look for the job openings, and save your money. If you want to be a rock star start practising your guitar and get some gigs at dive bars. If you want to be a great entrepreneur, write down your ideas and save up seed money.

And, if you want to start a family, start dating while thinking "do I want to raise children with guy?"

It depends on your priorities of course. Myself, I want to do other things before I start a family (for me living in Asia for a while particularly). You may be the same. Or you may not be.

The time we have on this earth is limited.
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