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Old 2013-07-11, 01:24   Link #10961
DemonOfWrath
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Ok, has he gone and sought any professional help about his depression? If not then I'd try and suggest to him that he does, as seriously that's one of the best things he can do to help himself. Having been through something rather similar to him myself I can tell you that it really will help him in pulling out of it at least a bit, as while he may think it'd be pointless, or that it'd reflect on him negatively (the "oh geez I'm seeking therapy for this" response) it'll help give him a new, and unbiased, perspective on what's going on with himself that you won't be able to provide by yourself.

Also, and I'll be a bit harsher here, the fact that he's relying so much on you for his mental well-being in not a good thing at all. Of course, having someone who knows what's going on and who you can talk to when you really need a slight push away from being depressed about something is good (as stewing on it by yourself is THE worst thing you can do basically), and he does have that in you, but fundamentally he has to be able to be happy without relying on someone else, otherwise he can't truly improve on his current situation.

So yeah, my advice would be to try and steer him towards seeking some professional help about his depression and such. Make sure to let him know that there's nothing wrong with that, and that you want him to because you love him and want to help him as much as possible (I am assuming of course that will be the case, but it sounds like it is). Explaining to him that you're worried and you're having trouble handling it yourself is absolutely fine as well. It certainly doesn't mean you're abandoning him or giving up on him or anything, and if anything it may help him get some motivation for it (getting told that by my best friend is what pushed me to actually go do it myself btw).

Note: Don't take this as me saying that seeing a therapist is definitely going to help him 100%. It obviously depends on what exactly is going on with him, but with some things it might help a lot more than you or he would think. I'm certainly NOT an expert on this stuff, I just have some first-hand experience I can base stuff off of.
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Old 2013-07-11, 02:15   Link #10962
Crashmaking Zoomatic
Umu.
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: United States
Thank you for your response! He--thankfully--did seek medical help, but he hasn't actually had -therapy-. He's on medication for it right now, and while he thinks it helps somewhat, it's not like it's turning things around. I do wish there was something he could do outside of relying just on me that would make him happy, but at the moment, nothing seems to seem like a viable option. He works quite often, and after work, his way of kicking back is hanging out with me. I feel the same way, but it just hasn't been quite as relaxing for me as it is the other way around, unfortunately. There was a small blip of happiness once he had undergone this pending surgery for his thyroid, and even though the aftermath was initially rough, he was just incredibly happy after. It almost felt like how he used to be when we first met, as cliche as it sounds, and that was the loveliest of feelings, but unfortunately it didn't last.

I'm so glad that your own situation ended up improving, though!
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Old 2013-07-11, 02:43   Link #10963
NorthernFallout
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In addition to what DemonOfWrath said, it feels like you two haven't talked about this particular topic in any depth (correct me if I'm wrong.) In other words, a collapse in communication, which I feel is pretty normal in situation like these. If you haven't, telling him what you told us might help him understand a bit more and might help smooth over it before it goes somewhere you don't want to.

If you already have, I wish you luck.
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Old 2013-07-11, 06:12   Link #10964
Masuzu
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I think friends would help with depression, that's generally how I got out of mine.

Just spent time with friends and got really into some hobbies eventually helped me up.
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Old 2013-07-11, 09:35   Link #10965
Crashmaking Zoomatic
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Join Date: Apr 2011
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I've spoken to him about how frustrating it's been, but his way of trying to fix it is to always pretend that he's in a decent mood, and I don't really want him to pretend. But thank you for the well wishes!

But maybe that would help. It's not something he's really worked towards, though. Occasionally he goes out with some friends, but he never really enjoys them enough to make it a regular occurrence, I feel. He's usually working late on weekdays, too, and sometimes even on weekends, so there isn't quite a lot of time for much.
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Old 2013-07-11, 09:48   Link #10966
SummeryDreams
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Here's my point.. Love has a reason which reason itself you can never understand.. Something you can never explain by words but you will surely know it's true love..
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Old 2013-07-11, 10:25   Link #10967
Ascaloth
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You need to wake him up and make him face the fact that he needs help. Forcefully, if that be necessary.

Smack him.

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Old 2013-07-11, 11:15   Link #10968
SummeryDreams
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
You need to wake him up and make him face the fact that he needs help. Forcefully, if that be necessary.

Smack him.

I guess he doesn't need help, nobody teaches me as well... Let his experience be his teacher anyways.. Good luck to him..
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Old 2013-07-12, 19:34   Link #10969
Ledgem
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crashmaking Zoomatic View Post
So, howdy, everyone!

I posted in this thread a couple of years ago, and I think I need some help again. Not really -help-, persay, but just some opinions/someone to listen. It's going to be very long, though, so you've been warned!
I'd imagine that many of us on AnimeSuki can relate to you in some form, and advice will be given based on personal experiences and thoughts on how others are dealing with the situation.

Hello, Crashmaking Zoomatic. I used to be you, except that I'm male and didn't date online. I am now less awkward and more socially confident than I used to be. I am halfway through medical school and my wife is halfway done with residency; we met in undergrad and survived two rounds of medical school ("the great relationship ender") with very little strife. I'll give you my thoughts, my experiences, and tell you a bit of what you can expect.

You're probably aware of this bit, but I'm going to say it anyway: long-distance relationships are incredibly difficult. Communicating through text and voice creates many risky openings for misunderstanding. A distance relationship is also very different from having someone near you, and going a step farther, living together. A person's time and activity demands "in real life" differ from what comes across online. Their lifestyle and habits can be endearing or grating.

Knowing that, where do you see this relationship going? Where do you want it to go, where do you think it will realistically go, and what does your boyfriend think? When you envision your ideal relationship, what does it look like? These aren't questions that you need to give me the answers to. If you haven't thought about it before, it's worth thinking about now. This relationship has been a major source of support for you, but if it has no chance of meeting your desires then it is holding you back. You could be seeing other people, but as long as you're in this relationship then those options are essentially off-limits to you.

A relationship has a strong foundation when both members in the relationship are strong enough to stand on their own. This doesn't mean that you can't rely on your relationship for support, or that it shouldn't factor into your feelings of identity and self-worth. However, the relationship should not be a patch for deficiencies that you have as an individual. Based on what you've written, I worry a little bit that this is what happened for you. An unhealthy dynamic has developed: you relied on your boyfriend for a lot of personal stability, but now that he needs you for support you're having trouble. You're feeling guilty about it, which is understandable. But what can you expect? The bandage that helped to cover your individual deficiencies is faltering. You're now forced to stand on your own in addition to supporting someone else's deficiencies, whether temporary or not. Depression is a difficult issue to deal with, whether as the one suffering from it or as a close pole of support. If you haven't addressed your individual setbacks and either improved or made peace with them then you're really a source of support for two people: yourself (the individual) and your boyfriend. That's difficult.

Medical school crushes many relationships because of the time commitment. While there are some exceptions, I can tell you that this is how I felt, how my wife felt, and how many of our peers felt: you will not have any time for yourself. More often than not you will feel anxious, depressed, stressed, or any combination of the three. According to statistics (and my own experience) the depression and feelings of "burnout" tend to diminish once you're finished with the first two years, but that isn't a short amount of time. Once medical school is over, the stress levels tend to rise again in residency.

There are two major factors to consider regarding relationships and medical school: first, how stable you are as an individual (the more stable you are, the better you'll be able to weather these challenges, and the less instability your significant other will experience); and second, how much your significant other understands and supports what you'll be doing. Many people who are not in medical training in some form really don't understand or appreciate just how terrible it feels and how much work is involved. This leads to conflicts where they don't understand why you're unable to spend much time with them (leading to feelings of neglect), or why you tend to be gloomier than usual.

So, what should you do? The advice is simple, and this applies to all relationships: talk to him. He's going through a tough time in his life, and unless you turn out to be one of the exceptions (and I sincerely hope you will be), you're on the brink of taking at least a two-year walk through hell's outer rings. This is about being fair to yourself, and fair to him. If the relationship is becoming a drag on you, how badly will it impact on your performance? If you become distant and emotionally unpleasant, how badly will it impact on your boyfriend?

To summarize, you have a few questions to go through. Don't answer me or try to justify yourself to me; ask yourself. Where do you see the relationship going, is it matching your expectations, and will it match your expectations going forward? Is this relationship founded on something genuine and stable? Is this truly love, or is it just a source of comfort? Are your and your boyfriend's futures on a path toward intersection with each other, or divergence? What does he want and expect, and how does it compare to your own wants, expectations, and reality?

If the answers seem to indicate that the relationship holds a lot of promise, then you've made your choice and the only thing left to do is move forward with it. Others here may be able to give advice on long-distance relationships, and I can give some advice on what to expect with what's ahead and how to counter it as far as the relationship goes. If it doesn't seem promising, then there's no shame in breaking things off (whether temporarily or for good). It doesn't represent a failure, it just means that the conditions that you both experienced were too tough for the bond and chemistry that you have at this particular point in time.

Best of luck to you in your application and in your relationship. Remember, the first two years tend to be the worst for most people. If my and my wife's experiences are anything to go by, it greatly improves as you move forward after that.
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Old 2013-07-13, 13:23   Link #10970
DonQuigleone
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Ledgem is on the money.

I'm just going to add that therapy can help a lot, and he should seek it out. As you've said, he shouldn't be giving across "false" enthusiasm. Try to find out what things he feels particularly depressed about. (Also, how about sex? I think insufficient sex and intimacy and physical intimacy can often contribute to depression, and that's a problem in long distance relationships)

Also, if I were you, I'd certainly try to broaden your own social horizons. Not necessarily to date other people, but you should try to maneuver yourself into a position where you are choosing to spend time with him, but that you aren't dependent upon him for socialising.

Likewise, he should be your boyfriend because you choose for him to be your boyfriend, not because he's the only possibility.
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Old 2013-07-13, 16:23   Link #10971
Crashmaking Zoomatic
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Join Date: Apr 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
You need to wake him up and make him face the fact that he needs help. Forcefully, if that be necessary.

Smack him.

At the very least, he understands that he -does- need help. It's just about finding time to get it, but at the moment, at least I know he hasn't ruled out therapy! He's just waiting for me to see whether I can visit or not this winter before figuring out a time.

And Ledgem, thanks for the really detailed response! As you said, I won't go through and answer all those questions, but I will say that I have somewhat mixed feelings on the future. On the one hand, I've never enjoyed spending time with any person as much as I have with him, and considering how averse I am to spending long amounts of time with -anyone-, I don't really want to lose this bond with him. There aren't many people who have similar interests to me, either. And I -do- love him. He's also a very large source of comfort, yes, I definitely can't deny that.

Also, the future is something I find scary, for lack of a better word, and the thought of deciding anything at this point isn't pleasant at all. Neither of us want to move to our significant other's respective countries, but because I plan on going to medical school, and he can work overseas as well, he finally decided that he would come and stay with me during med-school, and most likely live with me here. Whether that's a good idea while in medschool or not, I don't know at the moment, but it -is- worrying just because I have no idea what to expect.

We've never spent more than a couple of weeks together, and I've always had a lot of fun each time, but I also know there's a difference between spending time together watching movies and playing games, and spending time with each other supporting ourselves and working. As an undergraduate, whenever tests come up, I know that I would end up getting very stressed, pressured, and panicked fairly easily, so I can't even imagine how it would be in medical school. Asides from that, though, I'm relatively stable, or at least I'd like to think. I'm just not a fan of social situations, and considering I've never had a friend quite like my boyfriend, I'm a little unsure of what to expect without him. I feel it can go both ways: on the one hand, I'd stick to myself the same amount, and on the other hand, maybe I'd go out more. I don't know. If I do bring up the time commitment of medical school, my boyfriend simply says that he's researched it himself, and that he knows what to expect, and that he can handle it, which I really do hope.

If there's one thing we've always done, it's talk to each other openly, and as a whole, we communicate a lot, hence why we've lasted so long. I think we have a very good dynamic in that sense, it's just been difficult to support myself and him as you put it so well. I can't necessarily rely on him to make me feel better like I used to, and in some ways, that's probably made me even stronger. At this point, I'm probably just rambling on. It's normal to feel worried about how the relationship will hold up in the future, right?

I've never been a person who's been too interested in relationships, and while I'm really good at interacting with guys, anything even remotely romantic with anyone else never fancies my interest, so I doubt I'd even look for a partner if we broke up.
Thank you too DonQuigleone! You bring up a good point when mentioning intimacy. I didn't bring it up because I didn't know how appropriate it was here, but without going into any detail, he's never really been satisfied with the intimate side of our relationship. That's mostly my fault simply because I've never been interested in anything intimate in the first place, and I guess I just don't have much of a drive. It's the opposite of how he is, and while I do try, it's obvious that I'm not into it anywhere near as much as he is...The intimacy in each visit could definitely have been better, and that does get him down a lot. He doesn't tell me specifics of what else he's depresesed about either: all I know is that it's a mish-mash of things that just race through his head at lightning fast speed. I also know I need to get out more, but it's difficult when I just don't enjoy spending time with other people! Group outings are alright, and can even be fun, but if I have to spend time one-on-one with another person for an extended period of time, I feel like I'm going insane. But I definitey don't think I'd have a problem getting into another relationship, or being with anyone else. Nothing about it sounds appealing to me, and I honestly do want to be with my boyfriend because he's great fun! He has all the qualities I'd even want, and he's a genuinely good person. There're just some problems here and there...

But thank you guys for the responses again!
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Old 2013-07-13, 18:19   Link #10972
Ledgem
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 28
You didn't ask for more feedback, but I'll ramble on a few more thoughts regarding what you wrote.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crashmaking Zoomatic View Post
And Ledgem, thanks for the really detailed response! As you said, I won't go through and answer all those questions, but I will say that I have somewhat mixed feelings on the future. On the one hand, I've never enjoyed spending time with any person as much as I have with him, and considering how averse I am to spending long amounts of time with -anyone-, I don't really want to lose this bond with him. There aren't many people who have similar interests to me, either. And I -do- love him. He's also a very large source of comfort, yes, I definitely can't deny that.
If you don't enjoy spending time with other people, isn't your "sample size" a little low to feel that the bond with your boyfriend is something that couldn't readily be found with other people? Maybe it really is unique, but as of now I feel that it can go one way or another.

Another point to consider is that you met your boyfriend online. Social barriers are much lower here than they are offline. If you had met your boyfriend offline first, would you have written him off? If you met many of the people around you online first, would you be more open to them? Have you given any thought to why your social perspective is what it is? I can tell you that I felt very similarly - perhaps the same - as you did. It was a strange mixture of social anxiety and other unpleasant feelings, and after a lot of self-analysis I determined that it was largely derived from lack of self-confidence. I maintain that I am still an introvert (I don't go to parties or do things with other people, I prefer to just spend all of my free time with my wife or by myself), but most people think that I am an incredibly social guy when they meet me. I'm bringing this up partly with the idea of romantic relationships in mind, but also for your career as a physician. Even if you end up in a field that doesn't have much patient interaction you'll be working with quite a large group of people, and your socialization does impact on the opportunities available to you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crashmaking Zoomatic View Post
... he finally decided that he would come and stay with me during med-school, and most likely live with me here. Whether that's a good idea while in medschool or not, I don't know at the moment, but it -is- worrying just because I have no idea what to expect.
That's a huge gamble on both of your parts. Moving in together raises the commitment level, which can be a good thing. On the other hand, it introduces even more stress to the scenario.

There would be major stress on your boyfriend's part. He would be in a foreign country, adapting to a foreign culture, and dealing with the various issues involved with immigration. If he's a very social guy then he will probably be all right, but if he'll be relying on you as his major form of social support then he will likely suffer terribly.

There would also be a major stress on your part. Up until now it sounds like you've been on your own in terms of living. Your academic stress will be greater than before, you'll be adjusting to the faster rate and greater volume of information of medical school, and then you'll also be adjusting to having someone being consistently present in the most intimate and private areas of your life. That can be a very good thing if the relationship chemistry is correct, but otherwise it will be just another source of friction.

That your boyfriend has read about what you'll be going through is promising. I view that as meaning that he's taking it seriously and he cares to know what you'll be going through. The potential downside is that he may feel that he knows exactly how it will be, and that if it turns out to be worse then he may be surprised or accuse you of various things.

The both of you should take it very seriously. There are countless stories of how medical school ended relationships including those at the level of marriage. Every relationship is different and thus it's impossible to say how yours would fare. If you're both bracing yourselves and maintain dedication to each other throughout the process, that bodes well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crashmaking Zoomatic View Post
It's normal to feel worried about how the relationship will hold up in the future, right?
To a certain extent, yes. But as I mentioned before, once you've made up your mind then the only thing to do is to move forward with it.

My wife and I both shared the same values and same overall goals for our futures. We didn't share all of the same hobbies or interests, but that's nowhere near being a requirement for a successful relationship. We both dated with the goal of having a life-long relationship, and the dating phase was really just a matter of diving deeper into each other and learning about the level of compatibility. She entered medical school (and I graduate school) engaged, and there was no question about our goals. I knew that medical school was "the great relationship ender" and expected the worst, but I was ready to do anything and endure anything for her. I can say that and did it because I knew that she was equally dedicated to me. (This gets back to what I said where a relationship is a delicate balance: if you dedicate everything to your partner then you are essentially giving them the power to destroy you, and both members can only sincerely put themselves into that position if they know and trust their partner to do the same for them.)

Compared to other people's experiences I think that we fared pretty well, but I would be lying if I said that it was a walk in the park. Normally affectionate and sweet-mannered, my wife became somewhat distant and was clearly stressed and irate more frequently. We didn't fight - she always knew if she had been mean to me and would apologize immediately after - but I ended up spending a lot of time by myself, engaging in solo hobbies (as an introvert, I didn't have a separate social network to fall back on).

In our case there was no question about the future, though. We talked constantly and supported each other as best as we could. We suffered a one-year separation when I started medical school in another state as she was finishing up her fourth year, but we spent at least an hour every single day talking by video chat (or more rarely, by phone) to keep in sync with each other. I don't know if that's an impressive showing of dedication to most people, but when you're in your first year of medical school I'd imagine that you'll feel it to be a herculean task.

To put an end to my rambling, yes, it's normal to question the future... to a point. I don't think that anyone should blindly accept a certain future and never question what they're doing. But when it comes to relationships, I think that you do reach a point (ideally) where the status of the relationship and where both members are is not a question. If both members put the other member in the relationship above themselves as individuals then there's nothing to question: it is the ultimate devotion, the ultimate commitment.
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Last edited by Ledgem; 2013-07-14 at 08:40. Reason: Clarity
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Old 2013-07-14, 05:03   Link #10973
DonQuigleone
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 25
Thank you too DonQuigleone! You bring up a good point when mentioning intimacy. I didn't bring it up because I didn't know how appropriate it was here, but without going into any detail, he's never really been satisfied with the intimate side of our relationship. That's mostly my fault simply because I've never been interested in anything intimate in the first place, and I guess I just don't have much of a drive. It's the opposite of how he is, and while I do try, it's obvious that I'm not into it anywhere near as much as he is...The intimacy in each visit could definitely have been better, and that does get him down a lot. He doesn't tell me specifics of what else he's depresesed about either: all I know is that it's a mish-mash of things that just race through his head at lightning fast speed. I also know I need to get out more, but it's difficult when I just don't enjoy spending time with other people! Group outings are alright, and can even be fun, but if I have to spend time one-on-one with another person for an extended period of time, I feel like I'm going insane. But I definitey don't think I'd have a problem getting into another relationship, or being with anyone else. Nothing about it sounds appealing to me, and I honestly do want to be with my boyfriend because he's great fun! He has all the qualities I'd even want, and he's a genuinely good person. There're just some problems here and there...

But thank you guys for the responses again![/QUOTE] "Upping" the physical side of the relationship is something you should certainly try doing more. Maybe you'll find you enjoy it more once you've gotten used to it a bit.

However, if you find you don't enjoy it, then that's always going to be a major problem for your relationship, and is likely to continue to make him unhappy...


Quote:
Originally Posted by Crashmaking Zoomatic View Post
I've never been a person who's been too interested in relationships, and while I'm really good at interacting with guys, anything even remotely romantic with anyone else never fancies my interest, so I doubt I'd even look for a partner if we broke up.
The vibe I'm getting from you (to an extent) is that you're more staying with him for negative reasons then positive reasons. IE you're more with him because you don't find anyone else appealing, rather then finding him really amazing and compatible with you (though you two do seem to get along well). You deserve to be with someone you really find great and who you really love. Likewise, he deserves to be with someone he really loves too. It's not nice for him that his partner is with him primarily because they couldn't find someone better.

I'm not saying you should break up (far from it!), but you should definitely try meeting up with new people. In meeting with more people you'll be able to confirm that you really love him for who he is, and not just because he happens to be the only guy around.

Likewise, continuing on from the above, if you both have different physical desires, as time goes on that's going to become more and more of a problem. It's no bad reflection on you, but he does deserve to be with a woman who will satisfy those physical desires. Likewise, you shouldn't have to spend time on something you don't really like doing. Many relationships have broken up because, while everything else was perfect, one person wanted to be physical a lot more then the other. While the "non-physical" person can make the effort in the short term, in the long term it's never going to stick. Better for both to move on and be with people with similar desires for physical intimacy.

Now, I understand that you find it hard to meet new people (I have the same problem!), but you should still make the effort. Have persistence, and try to examine your conversational skills. Make a project of it!

You may be uncomfortable in "typical" social situation (EG going out to drink), but there are many alternatives out there. For instance I've found Meet up groups to be quite good, and they help me get over the initial intimidating feeling of when you find yourself in a large group of people where you don't know anyone. Worst that will happen is that you might have a wasted afternoon.

Likewise, though I'm sure your boyfriend would dislike it if he found out, you could try Online dating. If you're in any way half decent looking, and your profile is written with correct grammar and spelling (judging by your posts, that's not a problem for you!), then the guys will flood towards you. Any woman can probably get a date out of online dating. Meet up with a few guys for coffee. If your boyfriend found out it would be rather problematic, but I wouldn't feel guilty about it, if you're not feeling sure about the relationship. However, the only way he could realistically find out would be if he was online dating himself...
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Old 2013-10-25, 10:10   Link #10974
willx
Nyaaan~~
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Age: 30
Necro-revive for Relevancy:

Reddit - What is the sexiest thing the opposite sex does without even realizing it?

Some highlights / tips:
1) When guys roll up the sleeves of their dress shirts.
2) When guys have their back to you and then their shoulder blades move.
Its even sexier in a suit.
3) Taking off their ties. Mphf. I don't even know what it is about it.. but dayum.
4) Looking into your eyes during conversation. If I perfectly lock eyes with a girl, I completely forget how to English.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/co...site_sex_does/
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Old 2013-10-26, 01:12   Link #10975
Masuzu
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: « キセキの世代 »
I myself really don't like making eye-contact.
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Old 2013-10-26, 02:05   Link #10976
Irenicus
Le fou, c'est moi
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Las Vegas, NV, USA
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by willx View Post
For the lazy boys around here:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reller35
Thread tl;dr for guys:
Wear shirt with sleeves rolled up.
Stick math problem to the ceiling and concentrate hard on it, growling a bit as you do so.
When problem is solved, reach up to solve it, revealing a bit of (attractive) belly. Be sure to have a mirror behind you, so she can see your shoulder blades as you go.
???
Success
The redditor forgot to add the golden rule:

1) Be attractive.
2) Don't be unattractive.

And I'm still waiting for this to happen:
Quote:
Originally Posted by immortalsix
Tomorrow we're going to see guys with their sleeves rolled up, concentrating hard and grunting while looking directly into every girl's eyes
And all the girls are going to be biting their lip all day and fucking with their hair
And then world peace.
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Old 2013-10-26, 02:32   Link #10977
MeoTwister5
Komrades of Kitamura Kou
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Where I can learn to be lonely.
Age: 29
Pretty sure that only works if you at least possess some modicum of physical attractiveness, i.e. you don't look like me.
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Old 2013-10-26, 14:17   Link #10978
willx
Nyaaan~~
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Age: 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeoTwister5 View Post
Pretty sure that only works if you at least possess some modicum of physical attractiveness, i.e. you don't look like me.
That attitude is one of the reasons I posted that link above -- it's not actually about attractiveness most of the time. Here's another one:

http://designtogetyoulaid.com/

Quote:
What: Most guys just need a few pointers and some quick fixes, while others need a serious overhaul. Is your space ‘cock blocking’ you? We’re here to help you find out. We focus on straight men’s homes, and the female perspective. Additionally, we’ll mix in a little fashion advice, date food suggestions/ recipes, and some other miscellaneous info; all helping to make you ‘the total package’ that every girl wants. The catchy name is really just to pull you in, once we have you in our grasp; We don’t solely aim to get you laid, but we just might make you the most desirable bachelor around. Why? Because it’s what we do. You need the help, and we have the skills, so really why not? We will not delve into gay men’s spaces, because, well- let’s be honest- they don’t really need us.
They have articles on how to make improvements in your life as well as dispelling myths about life. (As this is an anime forum) .. Just as at one point in time people were only exposed to Pokemon or Dragonball .. or for those younger folks .. Naruto and Bleach, slowly your eyes opened to a wider world. The same applies to life. No one is good at anything immediately .. hell, my fiancee didn't learn to apply even light make-up until her late twenties and one of my friends never learned to style his hair until he was 18! Effort pays off and you can make changes!
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Old 2013-10-26, 16:22   Link #10979
GDB
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Age: 28
Quote:
We focus on straight men’s homes
In other words, no help at all unless you can get the girl into your house/apartment.
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Old 2013-10-26, 17:05   Link #10980
Nightbat®
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: The Neverlands
Age: 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by willx View Post
it's not actually about attractiveness most of the time.
You are correct


...it's the size of your wallet
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