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Old 2013-10-26, 19:57   Link #10981
willx
Nyaaan~~
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Age: 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by GDB View Post
In other words, no help at all unless you can get the girl into your house/apartment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightbat® View Post
You are correct


...it's the size of your wallet
Pfft.. my point was in addition to offering design services they have constant articles .. like .. this one?

http://designtogetyoulaid.com/valent...-simple-steps/
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Old 2013-10-26, 20:29   Link #10982
GDB
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Age: 28
I maintain that site looks more like "Okay, you got the girl, here's how to not fuck it up."
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Old 2013-10-26, 20:54   Link #10983
NocturnalWolf
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Hey everyone, I have some concerns about my relationship and any advice on what I could do to help it. I'll start off with some backstory. Me and my girlfriend are in our early 20's, we have been in a long distance relationship for over a year and a half, but two months into it I was in Basic/ Tech school for the AF reserves. We met and hit it right off and became an official couple before going into Basic. We both met each other at the right time, she was in a bad time in her life and I was sort of the knight in shining armor that rescued her. Everything was going really great and better than I could have ever hoped, of course being far apart our only ways of communication was texting and phone calls basically, but we have gone back and forth and seen each other every few months and we have an awesome and amazing chemistry together and couldnt be more perfect for each other. We are planning to move in together in the beginning of next year finally.

My only problem, and I know that it is my problem is that I am a bit insecure. My previous relationships have all ended with them cheating on me. I honestly didnt have any problems with that for quite some time but about 6 months ago she really got into online gaming. At first she was really heavily into it because she was trying to get into a clan but she said once she was in things would go back to normal. I dont mind at all that she plays and I was happy she was doing something she enjoyed. So she got in and ever since then she plays this game daily. Which isnt really a problem, we are both gamers and I think its awesome to have a girlfriend that enjoys gaming like me, the only problem is that all of the clan members she hangs around with are guys except for two. I really tried to not let it bother me, but after awhile of going from texting pretty regularly to pretty big gaps in time.

I've explained my side and that If she could let me know when she would be busy so I would be aware of it atleast, for the most part she has but there are times where I wont know anything and being as close as we are, where we used to text back and forth within 30mins to an hour. While I'm at work I try to text her as often as I can and call her on my lunchbreak, so I was just hoping for the same back. I did tell her that I was jealous of all the time she spends online with her friends and not even close to the same time as me, and she assured me that its nothing and shes just playing games, which I truly do believe it just kinda feels sucky when we may talk on the phone for an hour and she'll be gaming with these guys on Team speak for 8 hours straight every day. (Not always that long just somtimes less or longer). For the past month or so she has been seeming a lot more distant than how she is, I've brought it up and talked to her about it and she says it is nothing.

I finally bit the bullet and purchased the game so we could play it together and I was hoping that if I actually knew her guy friends then I may not have such a bad opinion about them and it may help our relationship since me and her would be playing together (we used to play some games together online before she got into this game). It hasn't been going too bad, the few guys that I met don't seem too bad, but she just knows a ton of them. The frustrating part is that since they all play so much and daily they are crazy good, knowing everywhere to look, know all the locations by heart, names for everything, they know how each other plays, can use teamwork without communicating since they know each other so well, and its frustrating since I have no chance. I'm not terrible at games by no means but i dont hold a candles to these guys and her. So its embarrassing since I feel more of a nuisance than anything and causing whoever I play with too lose. I know its only natural because of the difference of play length but it doesnt make me feel much better because of how good of a team they all are and inside jokes and whatnot. She is onboard for me playing and was happy but now we seem to be arguing over that now.

I'm on my phone and feel more like I rambled than got my point across like I was hoping. Basically I just want to know if what I am doing is right. I know I do get jealous of them and I shouldnt which is why I finally thought getting to play with them all would help, but now it feels like we are arguing over the game now and I dont want to ruin something she enjoys. I'm torn between continuing to try and just not let it bother me that I suck or not. I've done a lot of thinking and reading lately about insecurity and I really want our relationship to work and to be together with her, I'm just afraid and worried that because of al these little fights the past month or so that she may have drifted to far away or started feeling less about me. I've even talked to her about it but she isn't to good with expressing her emotions or feelings at times which seems to cause fights too.
I also know this probably all doesn't seem like a big deal, but being far apart I treasure what time we have together whether its talking or on the phone or whatever but it just makes me sad that it seems to be getting less and less.
Any advice would be appreciated, and if you need any more info just let me know, I feel like I just rambled so I apologize in advance.
Thank you.
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Old 2013-10-26, 20:54   Link #10984
SummeryDreams
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightbat® View Post
You are correct


...it's the size of your wallet
Not always the case, I used to believe in this my girlfriend is different. We help each other. There was a time that both of us doesn't have money, I have nothing to eat and I'm living alone. I already had skipped breakfast and lunch, then we meet up dinner. She didn't eat dinner properly and shared her food to me. She had eaten only about 1/4 cup of rice and divided the chicken and gave the rest to me. Well those were times when I don't have a proper work. And we're good now. At least with that experience, I've tested her that no matter what happen, she'll stay by my side and will help me if I would be needing it.
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Old 2013-10-26, 21:30   Link #10985
LeoXiao
提倡自我工業化
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Vereinigte Staaten
Age: 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by NocturnalWolf View Post
<snip>

Basically I just want to know if what I am doing is right. I know I do get jealous of them and I shouldnt which is why I finally thought getting to play with them all would help, but now it feels like we are arguing over the game now and I dont want to ruin something she enjoys. I'm torn between continuing to try and just not let it bother me that I suck or not. I've done a lot of thinking and reading lately about insecurity and I really want our relationship to work and to be together with her, I'm just afraid and worried that because of all these little fights the past month or so that she may have drifted to far away or started feeling less about me. I've even talked to her about it but she isn't to good with expressing her emotions or feelings at times which seems to cause fights too.

I also know this probably all doesn't seem like a big deal, but being far apart I treasure what time we have together whether its talking or on the phone or whatever but it just makes me sad that it seems to be getting less and less.
Any advice would be appreciated, and if you need any more info just let me know, I feel like I just rambled so I apologize in advance.
Thank you.
Well I think that if there's anything to worry about, it's how much you're talking about being happy for the time that you do have together. How do you think she sees the situation? What do you mean to her that would make her content to spending 8 hours a day playing videogames? Maybe she is taking you for granted and you need to just chill. But it could be more simple. You say that she's become more absorbed in the game recently; that kind of thing can happen. It's common to get addicted for awhile. I can't speak for others but usually I get really into this or that game for a few days to a couple weeks and then back to normal. For others it could be more extreme. It could be that she's in a slump and just wants to accomplish more and more in the game. If your chemistry is as good as you say then I don't think she's cheating on you.
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Old 2013-10-26, 21:46   Link #10986
Dr. Casey
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Tennessee
Age: 27
Nocturnal: I'm not sure there's much that can be done, unfortunately... if online gaming has become one of her primary hobbies, then it's almost inevitable that she'll have to spend a lot of time talking to guys in order to indulge in that hobby, since online games are dominated by male gamers to such a huge extent. Cheating can be a very damaging experience, I know - it took my sister a solid decade to get (most of) the bitterness out of her system after seven years with a cheating boyfriend - but since there's no concrete proof she can provide to soothe your feelings, the only option left is probably to just attempt to silently work through them. If confronting your girlfriend about the matter consistently leads to fights, those fights might eventually dig a hole for yourselves that you won't be able to escape from.

I say just sit back and observe for the moment. Typically, getting angry when your partner thinks you might be cheating means either one of two things - said partner is getting angry because they're wrongfully accused, or getting angry because they're rightfully accused - but at the moment there's no way of telling which of the two she falls under. If your girlfriend intends to move in with you in just a few months, that sounds like you two have a strong relationship and that she's serious about you. And then, once you two are living together, there should be more means by which to judge her feelings for you, and her (hopefully very platonic) feelings towards her guild mates.
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Old 2013-10-26, 23:18   Link #10987
NocturnalWolf
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeoXiao View Post
Well I think that if there's anything to worry about, it's how much you're talking about being happy for the time that you do have together. How do you think she sees the situation? What do you mean to her that would make her content to spending 8 hours a day playing videogames? Maybe she is taking you for granted and you need to just chill. But it could be more simple. You say that she's become more absorbed in the game recently; that kind of thing can happen. It's common to get addicted for awhile. I can't speak for others but usually I get really into this or that game for a few days to a couple weeks and then back to normal. For others it could be more extreme. It could be that she's in a slump and just wants to accomplish more and more in the game. If your chemistry is as good as you say then I don't think she's cheating on you.
I do understand how easy it can be to become addicted to a game and want to do a lot with it, but it has been pretty consistent for about 6 months with a few days here and there when she won't play. The game she plays is a shooter, so there really isn't much to accomplish, just playing matches over and over with people and either winning or losing. I really don't think she is cheating on me either, its just from past experiences I can't help but be a little paranoid or fearful about the time she spends with them, I mean after all we met online and grew into something more, but I honestly just believe I'm just jealous/envious of the time we don't spend together and they do. And just worried that the fighting isn't helping us and moving us backwards instead of forward.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey View Post
Nocturnal: I'm not sure there's much that can be done, unfortunately... if online gaming has become one of her primary hobbies, then it's almost inevitable that she'll have to spend a lot of time talking to guys in order to indulge in that hobby, since online games are dominated by male gamers to such a huge extent. Cheating can be a very damaging experience, I know - it took my sister a solid decade to get (most of) the bitterness out of her system after seven years with a cheating boyfriend - but since there's no concrete proof she can provide to soothe your feelings, the only option left is probably to just attempt to silently work through them. If confronting your girlfriend about the matter consistently leads to fights, those fights might eventually dig a hole for yourselves that you won't be able to escape from.

I say just sit back and observe for the moment. Typically, getting angry when your partner thinks you might be cheating means either one of two things - said partner is getting angry because they're wrongfully accused, or getting angry because they're rightfully accused - but at the moment there's no way of telling which of the two she falls under. If your girlfriend intends to move in with you in just a few months, that sounds like you two have a strong relationship and that she's serious about you. And then, once you two are living together, there should be more means by which to judge her feelings for you, and her (hopefully very platonic) feelings towards her guild mates.
Yes you are very right about gaming having a main audience of males and that she would make friends with them, I do want her to have friends, she deserves to be happy and have friends, just wish she could even it out a little better. I did figure the fighting would just create more and more problems and just afraid it'll get to a breaking point where she'll be like enough is enough. I don't like fighting with her at all and I try to apologize first cause she can be very stubborn. I truly believe she isn't cheating I just feel like out of the loop or an outsider, which I thought by playing with her would help, it still could and its only bee 3 days, so I will keep at it and not let it bother me so much. I'm the one moving to her, and one of the reasons its taken so long is that I need to try and transfer two jobs to her area. Yes I'm hoping that once we are living together it won't be as big of a deal as it is now since she'll be wanting to hang out and do stuff together, just trying to do what I can for now about her friends and her game.

Thank you both for your advice.
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Old 2013-10-26, 23:23   Link #10988
Dr. Casey
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Tennessee
Age: 27
You're welcome. I hope things work out, and maybe you can come give us an update later down the road once you've moved in together.
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Old 2013-10-26, 23:47   Link #10989
willx
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Age: 31
As Leo and Dr. Casey are providing sound advice and comforting words ..

I thought I'd be the one to play the counter-role as I feel is necessary. This thread is the "Dating" thread .. and well, sometimes things don't work out. People are .. well, people, and thus are by no means perfect. People are flawed. They think they want something .. but don't. They think they don't want something .. but do. Most people know themselves far less well than they think and heck, people make mistakes, are immature and any other multitude of character flaws.

What do I mean by that diatribe above? Well, what I'm trying to say is .. sometimes relationships don't work out. Sometimes one person ultimately likes the other more. Sometimes people cheat. Sometimes people lie. More often than not .. people act selfishly and hurt others. This is all part of the human condition, and I hope, as we all reach out and pursue love we keep these matters in mind. Love and love life is as complicated as life itself .. which, despite whatever we think or feel at any given moment in time .. tends to carry on as it will!
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Last edited by willx; 2013-10-28 at 15:32.
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Old 2013-10-28, 15:24   Link #10990
NocturnalWolf
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Just an update, I made plans to go see her in early December for about a week. She seemed pretty happy at the idea and excited but then kind of went back to her distracted, busy ways. I'm hoping seeing her in person might fortify our relationship and also hopefully be able to tell if she really has gotten distant or if it is really nothing. Her birthday is a week before I head up there so now just gotta think of some ideas haha. I have continued playing with her, I have become a little better but still typically at the bottom of the list, and not able to play in their 'official' matches so still kinda frustrating. She just seems really blah lately, not really saying much to me at all or seeming uninterested and wanting a lot of "alone" time which I have given her, just seems unlike her to act this way. Its starting to make me think she is drifting apart, I know there is only so much I can do, but I don't want to lose her but I do know if she already feels that way there isn't much that can be done, I just don't know why she would be stringing me a long and okay with the idea of me visiting if that was true.

Edit: Just got a text saying she wishes I was staying longer and that its too short, uuuugh women make no sense!

Last edited by NocturnalWolf; 2013-10-28 at 16:06.
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Old 2013-10-28, 16:39   Link #10991
DonQuigleone
Knight Errant
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 25
I've been wondering, how does what is considered "physically attractive" vary from place to place? Generally, while I think I'm quite good looking, I don't think I fit what the average Irish woman defines as "attractive". However, recently I've been hanging out in places with more foreign women more, and I've found they pay me a little more attention then I would usually expect. Now I could just be misinterpreting things, but could it be that in some of these foreign countries, I would be considered more attractive then I am in Ireland?

This thought occured to me because I was reading an article online (can't remember where), that said that Zhang Ziyi, while generally considered very good looking in the west, in China is only considered "average", and that many Chinese people find it strange that western expat men in china seem to go out with fairly average looking Chinese women. And that the explanation for this is the difference in idealized female beauty between China and western nations.

I don't know how much there is to that theory, but has anyone here gone to another country only to find themselves considered suddenly more or less physically attractive? And I also wonder if there's some way to use this to my own advantage (The dating equivalent of "Buy Low, Sell High")?

Also, does anyone have any interesting examples of men or women who are considered heart-throbs in one country, while perhaps being of middling attractive by western (or another culture's) standards?
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Old 2013-10-28, 21:02   Link #10992
willx
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Age: 31
"Rain" is a very obvious example of "failure to translate" as he managed to make a ridiculously huge splash in Asia and due to a popularity blitz campaign was even featured as a gag-rival to Conan O'Brien. His look or his style doesn't seem to translate to traditional western audiences.

Images
Rain
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?

I remember even "The O.C." made fun of this phenomenon back when they were on the air when someone brought over a big kpop star named "Big Korea" while people generally looked on in confusion.

As for completely politically incorrect racial stereotypes and how they affect dating, here's some cold quantitative data from dating site "okcupid" that did an analysis of their members:

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/yo...rite-you-back/

Takeaways:
-Black women write back the most
-White men get more responses
-White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively
-Men don’t write black women back
-White guys respond less overall

Images
Snippet
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?

Here's also some stats run by a dating website in NYC: https://coffeemeetsbagel.com/blog/in...r-asian-girls/

Heck, since I'm doing a "data dump" (as you can see, I love stats and infographics and analyses) here's one that was done for "porn searches" by country and state, you can click through to the ultimate site that sourced this information but beware that site is NSFW as it is actually a porn site. (IE, I am not linking to the porn site itself, I am linking to a site that did a story about the information). I'll even hide it behind spoiler tags as a second warning just to be safe!

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Last edited by willx; 2013-10-28 at 21:20.
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Old 2013-10-28, 21:44   Link #10993
Nightbat®
Deadpan Snarker
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: The Neverlands
Age: 37
Do you mind if trying to calculate and catagorize romance make me a little nauseous

another area where psychology and controlmanagment try to bleed the magic out of it
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Old 2013-10-29, 01:55   Link #10994
LeoXiao
提倡自我工業化
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Vereinigte Staaten
Age: 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by DonQuigleone View Post
This thought occured to me because I was reading an article online (can't remember where), that said that Zhang Ziyi, while generally considered very good looking in the west, in China is only considered "average", and that many Chinese people find it strange that western expat men in china seem to go out with fairly average looking Chinese women. And that the explanation for this is the difference in idealized female beauty between China and western nations.
I do get the feeling that the Chinese themselves now have a somewhat different ideal for the stock beauty than I've kind of built up in my mind. Whether or not my tastes are "western" I have no idea, but I was talking to a Chinese girl about this issue when she mentioned that modern media (in China) really emphasizes women with Western features at the expense of attractive but more typically-Asian-looking women. I think this kind of bias does exist and I don't like it. A specific example is the eyelid thing, where lots of Asians don't have the Western-style fold. I personally don't care too much about it and think the eye's attractiveness is more determined by its shape and size, in that order, but now that that girl mentioned it it does seem that every Chinese model looks...not Chinese.

Also mainlanders seem to have developed a terrible style in clothes and hair (at for guys), but that's beyond the scope of the problem.

EDIT: Case in point, though this young lady is Japanese rather than Chinese She looked okay the way she was, now she just looks scary.

Last edited by LeoXiao; 2013-10-29 at 11:18.
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Old 2013-10-29, 10:25   Link #10995
csuree
The Most Wanted™
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Romania, Oradea
Age: 26
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well i'm back. Hi there....
I think I came back with a pretty big update of my own....I can say it fairly clear that I went from single to "in a relationship", and that she already has my first kiss

I can say it was a bit rocky start as I needed someone to point it out for me that she is interested in me. I clearly did not read the signs as I should have. Minus point for me...
I can also thank my brother and his GF because they were the ones who actually "pushed" me. We went out on a double date on Saturday and it went really well. I think we are a good match (she also loves anime and manga), but we are also on the same wavelength. She is so energetic, like a child, and she is soo adorable. I did not think women are so small and so soft. I realized this when we hugged.

Yesterday I got a surprise visit from her at 11PM. I was already in my pajamas getting ready to sleep. Because my bro and I live in the same apartment this was also like a double date. We drank vine and talked about some funny stories late into the night and while getting ready to sleep we snuggled up to each other while sitting on the bed and then I had my first kiss taken from me.
We talked lots, in a sincere way; Even my legs were shaking from the excitement. She is so cute and lovely...I thought girls like her do not exist but apparently they are still around. She initially wanted to go home in the middle of the night, but We suggested her to stay so she slept over(in separate beds as we agreed that "it" would be premature to share one bed)
It feels like I found the perfect girl right off the bat.
Our next date is also scheduled on Friday to a Halloween themed party. Also we still meet up at work but our shifts do not overlap each other but we'll manage it, somehow.

"I'm so excited...I just can't hide it". I never imagined that This quickly I would find someone so charming.

And as a friendly reminder: keep your eyes and ears open , sometimes a friendly little chat from a girl is the sign that she is interested in you.
When we met at work she chatted me up about my previous places I worked in and that is how we found out that we worked at the same places in the past. this evolved to conversations, but I thought it was just some random chatting with colleagues, but as my bro's GF is also working where we are now, she said it to me, that this girl is interested in me. At first I was like: No way! but then they pushed me a bit and now here I am... I gotta make sure to thank them for it.

You never know when love will find you, be on the prowl, and be alert....and be yourself, sincere and honest, Good girls appreciate that
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Old 2013-10-30, 01:14   Link #10996
LeoXiao
提倡自我工業化
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Vereinigte Staaten
Age: 22
Congratulations man. Hope you and her can stay together for as long as possible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by csuree View Post
I did not think women are so small and so soft. I realized this when we hugged.
I've never had a girlfriend but yes this is true. It's one of those things that logically shouldn't be as cute as it is.
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Old 2013-11-12, 12:44   Link #10997
Poptartt
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Question Depression after watching Highschool DxD

First of all I would like to say this is my first post on this forums, im very new also here.

I got quite depressed after watching High School Dxd season 1, I enjoyed every bit of it, but everytime I am not watching it I am depressed. I kinda wish I was the main character and I really feel sort of jelous of the fact that Hyodo and Rias have such a nice/loving/caring relationship.

This depression makes me want to get into a caring relationship similar to to what I previously said. The problem is im a very very very shy guy and have problems talking to allmost everyone. The only person I can talk almost everything about is my cousin. A example of my shyness is for example when I got into my new college/school (not sure what its called in english) I didn't talk to anyone for one month not even a word, the only time I would talk is if someone asked me a question. My second problem is that there are no girls or anyone in my class or barely any in my school because I am in IT/computer science orientated school and the school has basically 10 boys to one girl and in my case none in my class.

I got similarly depressed from watching Kanokon, and I think other romance/comedy/ecchis

Thanks for your time and sorry if my english is bad,
looking forward to reading your reply's.

Last edited by Poptartt; 2013-11-12 at 14:18.
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Old 2013-11-12, 22:46   Link #10998
Suzuku
(`・⊝・´)/\(`・⊝・´)
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Age: 20
You need to go outside stat...and join a club or something to make friends that can set you up with qt pis.

As for the shy thing...just talk it'll get easier. If you're loose sometimes girls will be attracted to you regardless how you look. I also suggest lifting for confidence builder and hide how much of a nerd you are.
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Old 2013-11-13, 16:13   Link #10999
Nightbat®
Deadpan Snarker
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: The Neverlands
Age: 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poptartt View Post
I kinda wish I was the main character and I really feel sort of jelous of the fact that Hyodo and Rias have such a nice/loving/caring relationship.
Quote:
This depression makes me want to get into a caring relationship similar to to what I previously said.
This is life, you are the main character, there is no script written by some unknown dude who'll give you a "happy ever after" before the credits roll

Any possible loveinterest isn't going to be acting to cater towards a certain demographic of viewers

and the situations you'll find yourself in will often, if not always be a lot less interesting, but also a whole sure lot less predictable

Like Suzuku said: Get the hell out into the world

You currently aren't shy, you are socially awkward

Join your cousin to a few places, I'm pretty sure he/she can understand your position
Don't think you MUST talk, just start by getting comfortable around people
Think of this as an investment in the future

if worse comes to worst, get therapy, and get help in learning that people in general won't bite your head of if you introduce yourself or ask their name




If you want a loving/caring relationship, good luck, because it isn't a thing
it in actuality IS the other person making you feel it
And it being Real Life, will it IN NO WAY be as you picture it

...and I certainly don't think it'll happen if you don't start talking to people
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Old 2013-11-18, 19:02   Link #11000
csuree
The Most Wanted™
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Romania, Oradea
Age: 26
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well I'm back again with some ambiguous feelings about people and trust.

I wrote a while back that I got myself a GF....Now I can write that I already broke up with her about a week ago. Well it is not a surprise...I always fail at human interactions. God did not gave me this ability. Well she still had a very good relationship with her ex-BF(texting and calling him), she lied so much, and she tried to drag the whole thing out saying that we are not a couple yet and those were not dates, we went on. I said okay then we'll get to the next level in a short time. But she had a bad luck, I found out about her Ex and it seems we worked together some time ago so I know him, She lied to him about us saying we are not going out. Well I think kissing, sleeping and taking baths together is more than friendship.
On a Saturday evening I escorted her home, and she was texting much more than average....when we got to the city center she said it is okay I can go now. I said goodbye and left. As I walked towards home I saw her Ex-BF my ex-colleague. I immediately reacted: she was texting with him, He was following us to make sure we are not going out(she did not held hands and no kisses that day) as he walked after her I took over his role to follow and it did not take lng to see them hug passionately when they met.
We had some texts about explaining the stuff I saw. She said I did not see right, and she lied that he is harassing her....yeah....sorry my IQ is 140+, and I can't recognize a passionate hug from both him and her....After this we had some talks but she was feeding me false hopes...I pretended to go along with it but at some point I said that her indecision is making more than one people suffer, and that she should choose. she chose to break up. At this time she just suddenly resigned from our workplace. Suspicious, and today I found out she was lying to everybody, different things. well in order to others not to find out the truth and shame herself that was the best choice.

I can't believe that someone who loves anime and sees how anime girls do not act like this(I took her favourites as example) she is acting exactly the opposite.
This woke me up again that In OUR world most women only deceive and act, And it makes me put up questions: Where is the love? where is sincerity? honor? and kindness?
Women cry that all the good men are taken and chivalry has died out.
My answer: If women do things like these(even the seemingly normal ones not just the b_tches) then they are responsible for making the guys bastards.
I lost another part of my good self to girls and with every failure I get closer to treating women like tools for bodily needs. You can argue with me but so far my experiences prove me right. I am considering in making my self successful only to take my revenge, I'll get rich and play with them like they do.

And a warning..
Trust nobody, be skeptic, defend yourself, I can only say this....It will be a long time until I open my heart to someone, if I ever want to open it again.
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