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Old 2009-08-11, 01:13   Link #1321
Mithfalath
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jazzrat View Post
Of course on the surface they are all prim and proper but once you get to the bed room, they shed those image faster than i can take my clothes off
LOL. It depends really. Maybe that idea is somehow stereotypic. But not all of them are like that really. Or to say the least, NOT MOST OF THEM. But really, Asians appeal the best.
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Old 2009-08-11, 02:37   Link #1322
Samari
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All Asian people act differently depending on where they are from. Even if they are of the same ethnic background. For example, my girlfriend and her friends whom are all non-American Chinese act quite different in terms of persona than some of my Chinese friends who were raised here in America.

Just like "Black America" is very different from people that are actually from Africa.
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Old 2009-08-11, 03:00   Link #1323
rainnydaiis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Samari View Post
All Asian people act differently depending on where they are from. Even if they are of the same ethnic background. For example, my girlfriend and her friends whom are all non-American Chinese act quite different in terms of persona than some of my Chinese friends who were raised here in America.

Just like "Black America" is very different from people that are actually from Africa.
I have to agree with that a lot. Seeing as a "race" doesn't define a person. Different backgrounds and experiences actually make up a person. Like I'm Korean and when I tell people they always ask if I'm good at Starcraft.

But one thing I noticed about most Asian girls and why they act different is mainly in my opnion because of the Drama shows they watch. Either it be CDrama KDrama JDrama and so forth. It really gives off a high expectation and makes most girls think that relationships are suppose to be that way. So in my opinion most aren't really down to earth but high in the air.
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Old 2009-08-11, 05:59   Link #1324
Jazzrat
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mithfalath View Post
LOL. It depends really. Maybe that idea is somehow stereotypic. But not all of them are like that really. Or to say the least, NOT MOST OF THEM. But really, Asians appeal the best.
Plenty of people seems to believe that , a word of advice to those seeking an asian partner... STOP... go back, think about the person you want to be with instead of their skin colors.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Samari View Post
All Asian people act differently depending on where they are from. Even if they are of the same ethnic background. For example, my girlfriend and her friends whom are all non-American Chinese act quite different in terms of persona than some of my Chinese friends who were raised here in America.

Just like "Black America" is very different from people that are actually from Africa.
Ohhh i'm chinese myself, trust me, i know how different we are not only depending on where we grew up but also our socio-economic status, our education and our profession. Just griping about the silly notions that asians are supposedly more docile and subdued.

Try dating the girls that comes from big cities like HK, Singapore or Taiwan, you ll find them as competitive and outspoken as any other girls.
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Old 2009-08-11, 06:13   Link #1325
Yuelon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rainnydaiis View Post
But one thing I noticed about most Asian girls and why they act different is mainly in my opnion because of the Drama shows they watch. Either it be CDrama KDrama JDrama and so forth. It really gives off a high expectation and makes most girls think that relationships are suppose to be that way. So in my opinion most aren't really down to earth but high in the air.
Yea, I get that feeling too when I watch drama shows. But from a guy POV *pause* me... I do think that as well though I really tell myself shows are shows none of them can really use as an sample of what is actually happening to you now.

@0utf0xZer0

That does and I didn't mention cause mix culture friend isn't rare now days so really being attracted to or attracted by is really doesn't matter just means how much you love that person over culture/religion. So its a free love now days only parents from the other era cares about such thing, really nothing to be shy about!!
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Old 2009-08-11, 06:58   Link #1326
jonli
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Originally Posted by Dakota View Post
We are all on an Anime forum talking about dating.

If you're reading this, accept the fact that there is little hope for dating (and everything beyond that) as I did.
Don't be silly. I've been watching anime ever since I was a kid, actually ALL my friends watch anime ever since we were kids. We're all active in the dating scene. Some people are still dating the same girl, some changed, some never date girls that don't watch anime as well. Etc. It's not anime that alienates you from the opposite sex, it's how you carry yourself. If you're confident not arrogant, a smart-ass but not the point of annoyance = smooth talker. Then when you get the girl hooked tell her you like anime, I'm pretty sure she won't dump you for that. It's just like telling a girl you love video games, nothing she can do about it (it's the equivalent of them saying they like the notebook).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jazzrat View Post
Just curious, what were your image of an Asian women? Subdued, docile and demure? Cause that's been out of fashion for awhile now. Of course on the surface they are all prim and proper but once you get to the bed room, they shed those image faster than i can take my clothes off
Well I was kinda kidding. What I mean by original image of Asian women are basically the stereotypical gentle kind. But to be honest, it is kind of true. Of course it differs in different asian-based societies so what I'm about to say is only going to apply to the social group that I've been exposed to.

WARNING LONG POST

I'm from Hong Kong. Hong Kong by itself is divided into several social groups (like all countries, duh), but the one I'm referring to specifically is the local group of Hong Kong women (mostly non english speakers). Hong Kong is moving towards a more sexually equal society, where women are taking jobs far more well paid than men. It has always been integrated in the Hong Kong society that men are basically as useful as how much money they get. You might flirt and have sex with a sexy guy, but if he's not rich you're not going to marry him and have kids. With this in mind, women in Hong Kong are a lot more cautious about a man's family background, career and wealth than what actually counts. What actually counts? Personality! Cheesy, I know, but truth. There are actually many documentaries about this. The way some women behave in interviews are absolutely outrageous. In fact I'll type one out just to show you how insane some of them are.

Woman: I had a long term boyfriend that I really loved, I asked if one day when we're married we don't need a joint account. Instead he can transfer all his income into my account. My boyfriend got really angry. I thought to myself how pathetic this man is and dumped him. My current husband on the other hand would transfer all his money to me, then every month I would give him a little for allowance.

Husband: It's not that bad actually, I don't have to buy her any valentines day presents because it's basically using her money. (this man is a loser)

Word for word translated from Chinese into English. The translation might not be 1 to 1 but I guarantee you it's accurate, and I'm not lying. I'm not a money-cautious kinda guy, but the fact that someone would say that to me would seriously have my eyes blow out. I mean money is the more embarrassing side of a relationship, but it is crucial, and THAT is not the way to handle it. Women who behave that way have been coined as Kong Girls in Hong Kong. It might sound like a derogatory term but seriously if you ask some girls on the streets if they're Kong Girls, some of them would just say "no shit, duh" as if nothing's wrong with it.

This is unfortunately not a recent fad, evidence of "Kong Girl" in the making can be spotted even in my mother's generation. Women have grown to be more and more materialistic in the Hong Kong society. Not all women in Hong Kong are like this, it's not like you'll be doomed with a Kong Girl if you live in Hong Kong, but the majority of the female population thinks this way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jazzrat View Post
Plenty of people seems to believe that , a word of advice to those seeking an asian partner... STOP... go back, think about the person you want to be with instead of their skin colors.



Ohhh i'm chinese myself, trust me, i know how different we are not only depending on where we grew up but also our socio-economic status, our education and our profession. Just griping about the silly notions that asians are supposedly more docile and subdued.

Try dating the girls that comes from big cities like HK, Singapore or Taiwan, you ll find them as competitive and outspoken as any other girls.
Yes you're right, ultimately it depends on how you're brought up. It's safe to say that anyone in any race, if you're only exposed to one part of the world you're bound to carry problems in your behavior.

Here's a piece of advice not to asian women, but to everyone in the world. That you need to explore and experience different social perspectives and understand them. Or else you might behave like a Kong Girl and fail to see why you might seem like an annoying bitch to someone else.

I felt like I just offended a lot of people...
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Old 2009-08-11, 10:09   Link #1327
Dakota
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jonli View Post
It's just like telling a girl you love video games, nothing she can do about it (it's the equivalent of them saying they like the notebook).
But if a girl I liked was a Twilight fan, I'd dump her ass faster than garbage disposal.
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Old 2009-08-11, 12:13   Link #1328
jonli
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Originally Posted by Dakota View Post
But if a girl I liked was a Twilight fan, I'd dump her ass faster than garbage disposal.
I'm not a fan of Twilight either, but if you can't stomach another person's guilty pleasure they won't stomach yours either.

You don't have to get a Twilight tatoo for her, or watch the movies with her. She can do her Twilight thing in solitary.

Besides it's obviously a phase, once the movies are over it'll die out.
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Old 2009-08-11, 20:34   Link #1329
Yuelon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jonli View Post

I felt like I just offended a lot of people...
So long as they are not kong girls who are reading it.

Bless you man
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Old 2009-08-11, 20:41   Link #1330
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wow ^_^ when I first saw this thread it was on page 11! T_T damn I really havent been on here in a long time huh. anyways I havent been in a relationship in a while, my EX shattered my heart so I kinda just roll with it now.

Im going on a date with a Deaf boy tommorow sooo if anybody ever has dated somebody with a hearing disablity I would really appreciate a hint or some advice.
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Old 2009-08-11, 22:11   Link #1331
Mithfalath
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@Demonix

ummm, wouldn't that be too difficult perhaps? This is probably harder than language barrier. But if it's true what they say, that feelings can be conveyed without words, then wish you all the best. :P
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Old 2009-08-11, 23:21   Link #1332
0utf0xZer0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jazzrat View Post
Plenty of people seems to believe that , a word of advice to those seeking an asian partner... STOP... go back, think about the person you want to be with instead of their skin colors.
I know you probably just intended this as a warning, but I want to make it quite clear that my preference for asians does not mean I am blind to other factors. They may get a "wow, she's cute" from me very easily but they have as much trouble getting any more attention from me as other girls do.

Since leaving high school four years ago I've seriously considered dating a grand total of three girls - two asians and one white girl. To me, you might as well make a deal out of the fact that all three of them wear glasses at least part of the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuelon View Post
@0utf0xZer0

That does and I didn't mention cause mix culture friend isn't rare now days so really being attracted to or attracted by is really doesn't matter just means how much you love that person over culture/religion. So its a free love now days only parents from the other era cares about such thing, really nothing to be shy about!!
I think you're misunderstanding what I was trying to point out - that's probably my fault for giving so little info though.

My dad grew up as one of the only white kids in his class in Hawaii and then moved with his family to a part of Vancouver that had a large Japanese immigrant population. Correct me if I'm wrong on this, but both Hawaii and Vancouver are known for having a lot of mixed race couples and have had that reputation for quite a while. Certainly there are a few among my parent's friends. It might not have been as popular as it is now but I suspect he may have had the option.

So why did he marry within his own race? To be totally honest, I have not idea. It could have been a preference for his own race or it could have been just that he happened to like my mom in particular. I just thought I'd throw the story out there since it seemed relevant to what we were discussing.

(Well, okay, there is one thing that I supposed one could count in favour of the "prefers white woman" theory: my dad sometimes comments that his Scottish genes are trumped by essentially everything. I'm not hugely concerned with that - there's at least one Chinese restaurant in this city that co-ops Scottish traditions as part of it's Chinese New Years celebrations. I'm serious.)
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Old 2009-08-12, 07:03   Link #1333
Yuelon
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Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0 View Post


I think you're misunderstanding what I was trying to point out - that's probably my fault for giving so little info though.

My dad grew up as one of the only white kids in his class in Hawaii and then moved with his family to a part of Vancouver that had a large Japanese immigrant population. Correct me if I'm wrong on this, but both Hawaii and Vancouver are known for having a lot of mixed race couples and have had that reputation for quite a while. Certainly there are a few among my parent's friends. It might not have been as popular as it is now but I suspect he may have had the option.

So why did he marry within his own race? To be totally honest, I have not idea. It could have been a preference for his own race or it could have been just that he happened to like my mom in particular. I just thought I'd throw the story out there since it seemed relevant to what we were discussing.

(Well, okay, there is one thing that I supposed one could count in favour of the "prefers white woman" theory: my dad sometimes comments that his Scottish genes are trumped by essentially everything. I'm not hugely concerned with that - there's at least one Chinese restaurant in this city that co-ops Scottish traditions as part of it's Chinese New Years celebrations. I'm serious.)
Oh ok sorry.

Haha that restaurant sounds nice I feel like trying.
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Old 2009-08-12, 19:27   Link #1334
rainnydaiis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dakota View Post
But if a girl I liked was a Twilight fan, I'd dump her ass faster than garbage disposal.
Lol I know exactly what you mean. My GF is like a minor Twilight fan and I think its just dumb. I'm use to reading vampires that don't talk out their problems or glisten in the sun. But rather go on bloody rampages and kill.
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Old 2009-08-12, 19:54   Link #1335
Kylaran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0 View Post
So why did he marry within his own race? To be totally honest, I have not idea. It could have been a preference for his own race or it could have been just that he happened to like my mom in particular. I just thought I'd throw the story out there since it seemed relevant to what we were discussing.
I feel like there's three main points being stressed about by people in this thread: money, physical attraction, and the ideal of love. However, I don't feel like these are the only limitations to marriage, or even dating. Sometimes marriages just work out with someone you happen to date and like, which will eventually turn to love; money is a part of this, but there's also random chance, limited geography, and a lot of random things that you just aren't aware of.

Certainly, I'm not doubting your parents that your parents married with love, but I always think of my relationships going through phases as something like this: "Oh, I just happened to know her. We just happened to meet up just the two of us. There just happened to be some sort of attraction. Now we just ended up dating." Looking back in hindsight, I'll think: "I like her for these reasons," but when I'm in the moment, there are just so many factors I can think of, it seems to me like choices I make will necessarily include my emotions at the time about family, friends, the economy, my job, my future, etc. etc. etc. Could it have been fate? Perhaps, but it's just so hard to think clearly and analyze the situation. Knowing the full story and how it played out makes for a tale of its own, though.

I think preferences for skin color do not blind people from the actualities of dating. It's just that physical preference for a skin culture seems to be a fairly common method of actively dating or actively thinking about the opposite sex in romantic ways. It doesn't mean the attraction is made up, either. It's like being aware of your own preferences and working toward achieving a... perhaps, idealized version of a mate. In the end, I think a good amount of dating and marriages happen based on circumstances that are out of control, or at least factors not able to be manipulated by the individual.

Last edited by Kylaran; 2009-08-12 at 20:04.
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Old 2009-08-13, 00:14   Link #1336
Jazzrat
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Lol I know exactly what you mean. My GF is like a minor Twilight fan and I think its just dumb. I'm use to reading vampires that don't talk out their problems or glisten in the sun. But rather go on bloody rampages and kill.
Because it's targetted at girls. Women loves vampire stories more than guys imo.
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Old 2009-08-18, 16:29   Link #1337
Skullchukka
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While it isn't probably the best place to comment about this, but judging by the ongoing "Asian Girl" theme, I'd like to add my point of view.

I really dislike seeing asian (mostly; Japan) girls becoming "Americanised." I'd like to beforehand add I have no grudge-what so ever against any country, including America.

What do I mean by saying Americanised? Well, the 'verb' itself obvious. It means abandoning their current culture (or moving away from it) to become the "American Teen" or "American Lifestyler" that they are introduced in movies, TV shows and so on.
While I can not deny the fact that the whole world is on such curve, the ones that most disturb me is Asian people. Girls for me, and also men to some extend; and men for lots of my friends that are female.
A Japanese girl brings lots of people images of pureness, cuteness, a respectful girl and so on. While this may be called "stereotype" by some people, I have to remind you that their culture shaped them in this way, well; the majority.

And what happens then you take that image; make it "Americanised" in every way? A sweat dripping asian girl in a cage, dressed up with least cloth as possible, extreme non-fitting make up, and enlargement & changes of their body parts.

...

Totally destroys the image, don't you think so?
-- To some extend I might understand Japanese not being interested in their own culture; they were born and raised there, and the unknown (American, european, etc.) are fascinating to them, so they try and imitate what they see.
Do you think they are being drifted away from their own roots with this? What are your thoughts on this? Please respond in a non-political way ^^
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Old 2009-08-18, 19:33   Link #1338
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I disagree with absolutly everything you've just said, I dont understand why you think liking american culture means their abandoning their own, and as for being Americanised?

What gives you the right to judge if its a good or a bad thing?

If you mean moving away from traditional gender roles then to be blunt they have every right to do so.

I think you know your wrong because you asked us to respond in a non political way.

I've had people suggest that I'm throwing away my culture before and it really annoys me because I'm not, its just I'm adapting to life in a new enviroment and trying new things.

For the past two years I've lived on and off in Canada and the UK (I'm british) and I've done stuff that I would never of done at home, including going to a rodeo, hockey game, CFL game, listened to country music, longboarding and ice skating on a frozen lake

but I'm guessing the biggest reason people have suggested I've thrown away my culture is because I change the way I speak when I'm in Canada.

That really annoys me because when you go abroad for more than a few weeks and only meet people from the country your in (the second time I went over, it was with three british girls, I was the only guy) it happens.

One because people cant understand you and it gets pretty tireing having to translate all the time (though I'll admit its fun to play up to ocassionally) but you also pick up the language and it becomes a part of your speach pattern.

That doesnt mean I've thrown away my culture, I'm still British.
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Old 2009-08-18, 22:46   Link #1339
LeoXiao
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And what happens then you take that image; make it "Americanised" in every way? A sweat dripping asian girl in a cage, dressed up with least cloth as possible, extreme non-fitting make up, and enlargement & changes of their body parts.
This isn't people becoming Americanized so much as it is people trying to fit in with what the corporate culture advertises. Since sex sells, the above image is becoming more popular. The stereotype of Japanese (and other ethnic groups) people is that they are more immersed in their traditional cultures than Americans, who invented the corporate culture in the first place and are thus the most inundated in it. However, corporatism is not only American, and other countries have their own modern cultural products of the capitalist system. Therefore, I think that what you see as "Japanese girls becoming Americanized" is actually just an observation of the development of their own [Japanese] corporate culture.

And yes, I agree with you that it is sickening.

Quote:
This is unfortunately not a recent fad, evidence of "Kong Girl" in the making can be spotted even in my mother's generation. Women have grown to be more and more materialistic in the Hong Kong society. Not all women in Hong Kong are like this, it's not like you'll be doomed with a Kong Girl if you live in Hong Kong, but the majority of the female population thinks this way.
And I assume it's often these kind of girls who prescribe to the aforementioned image. Again, it is my view that they're just fitting in with corporatism.
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Old 2009-08-18, 23:53   Link #1340
0utf0xZer0
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My very Canadian approach to this problem: the best asian girls are the ones who manage to take the best of their ancestoral culture and mix it with the best of whatever culture they happen to be in.

I do not believe that a girl has to embrace corporatism to be western. Nor do I believe that she needs to necessarily hang on to the gender role baggage to be Japanese. I like reserved girls because I have a reserved personality. I'm not so hot on doormats.

Quote:
That doesnt mean I've thrown away my culture, I'm still British.
Somewhat off topic (not that this whole discussion isn't already), but I'd be curious as to your perspective on the fact that many Canadians seem to have trouble figuring out exactly what being Canadian is "aboot". Aside from having a religious like devotion to your local NHL franchise.
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